The Price of Freedom

Chapter 11: In Due Time

DINAH

Staying in this god forsaken hospital being treated like a china doll has been unbearable. Serena hasn’t left my side unless it’s for school, which means Sacha is still around, and Liam just lounges around even if I don’t talk to him.

Liam is literally just sitting there unfazed by the fact that I’m ignoring him.

Do these people have nothing better to do?

The police coming in to question me about the incident was more pleasant than this whole stay. They might have treated me like a criminal, but at least they didn’t treat me like I would turn to dust with one wrong word.

When the detective walked in, Liam got up to leave since I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want to talk about what happened with anyone. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand shot up and gripped his arms, making it the first time I willingly touched another man after what happened.

“Please stay,” I pleaded, I didn’t want to be alone with the detective, he just nodded and sat back down. I shouldn’t have felt threatened by someone who is meant to protect, but I did and Liam was the lesser of two evils.

No, Liam is not an evil, he has been nothing but patient with me even when I do nothing but push him away.

When the detective questioned me, he even had the audacity to tell me there was nothing they could do. That there wasn’t sufficient evidence to back up my story. He said I was never technically raped and therefore the rest of the injuries could have been from very rough foreplay.

The thought of that just made me incredibly sick.

“Is it because he’s white or because I’m not, or is it the money?” I asked flat out, there has to be a reason they aren’t continuing this case. I refuse to believe there isn’t enough to prove what he did to me.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Jacob paid everyone off, the detective became all fidgety when I mentioned that Jacob had paid everyone off on that floor so they wouldn’t witness his assault. And of course, there’s no proof of that either, because no one remembers being bribed.

“Look there isn’t enough evidence to prove anything,” he responded seeming very aloof about the whole situation, like he’d already made up his mind and anything I said wouldn’t change anything.

“Not enough evidence? I landed in the hospital from what he did to me, he almost raped me.” At the mention of the almost rape and the definite assault I endured, Liam tensed in his seat, his jaw started ticking and his hands balled into fists.

The detective’s beady little eyes just stared me down as if what he was about to tell me needed to be very clear, with no margin for error. “There isn’t proof that he did, and if we just charged him with assault, we could do the same for you, or worse, since he was on the verge of death.”

Is he threatening me with jail time?

“Is this a joke?” I scream out, with zero composure left. “Jacob physically assaulted me attempted to rape me and he’s just going to get away with everything,” I bit back, there is no way they don’t see what really happened, the number of injuries I had compared to him should be a dead giveaway.

The fact that he was in a hotel room that wasn’t his should be questionable. The fact that I told them he’s hurt me before should back up my claim. For god’s sake, I even let Serena tell them the about the previous injuries he left me with.

How do they not see that it was self-defense, that I was fighting for my life. A life I have to live miserably now, but my life nonetheless.

“It’s a he said she said case there are no winners,” the audacity of men, I don’t know where they get it from.

So now I have to live with all the damage Jacob has thrown upon me and there can be no justice because he didn’t inflict enough damage. The American justice system is a f*****g joke.

The detective left after he finished his whole spiel about how he’s sorry I got hurt and how they’ll do anything in their power to find the culprit. Like what do you mean find the culprit, Jacob is sitting pretty in his hospital bed.

I told Jacob that he should have killed me, because if the f*****g authorities won’t do anything, then I’ll just have to take care of business myself. He is going to regret ever setting his sights on me. I’m going to ruin him in the eyes of his friends and family.

I haven’t come up with a solid plan yet, but I will. All in due time.

“How are you feeling?” Liam asks me bringing me back from the endless torment of my thoughts.

Tears were threatening to spill out of my eyes as the detectives words were still swirling around in my mind. I was a puddle of emotions; how could they just allow someone like Jacob continue walking the streets?

“Liam, I have been nothing but an ass towards you lately what are you still doing here?” I ask him honestly, as I try changing the subject.

He didn’t answer, he just looked at me with those beautiful baby blue oceans with a tenderness that dug deep into my shattered soul.

The dam finally broke as every emotion I was feeling flooded out of me in the form of tears and silent sobs.

I’m such a f*****g crybaby.

“Dinah,” he hesitated, “can I hold you?”

I simply nodded, knowing I needed something to hold me together before I fell apart at the most inopportune time. I knew I had to deal with what happened to me, I couldn’t just live in denial and anger forever.

Liam sat on the bed and pulled me into his chest letting me wallow in my misery. One arm wrapped around my body like a security blanket while the other gently brushed through my hair giving me a sense of normalcy and comfort.

I should have felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t. I felt safe in his embrace and I didn’t want him to let me go. Was I being selfish for wanting him to stay but knowing that I might not be able to give him what he needs?

Most definitely, but I should be allowed to be selfish for once.

Liam got a call and said he had to leave, so I was left alone for the first time in a good minute. I should have been happy, it was what I have been asking for the last couple of days, but now I feel like I’m drowning in all my doubts and fears and it’s debilitating.

Lily has been hounding Serena to see me and I guess she finally evaded the guard puppy because she managed to sneak into my room while I was sleeping. I woke up expecting to see Serena or Liam, but instead I see Lily waiting on the recliner by my bed.

I have never wanted to throttle anyone, but I am strongly considering it right now, just for Lily.

“What are you doing here Lily,” I ask her as soon as I notice her presence.

I don’t think she realized that I was awake because she jumped three feet in the air at the sound of my voice.

“How are you sweetie?” She asked in a monotone.

“Don’t sweetie me, answer my question,” there was no way I would be giving her anything but frigidity.

“I came to check on you. I had to find out you were in the hospital from the Bennett’s, do you know how much that hurt?”

Of course, it hurt, because now she just looks like a bad mother to her friends for not knowing her daughter was in the hospital. Very Lily of her to take something like this and make it very much about herself.

“I don’t care about how you feel, I don’t want you here so leave,” I told her giving her a stern look letting her know there was no other option.

Lily just smiles at me, and it isn’t a friendly smile that says ‘I’m glad you’re back to your somewhat normal self,” no this was a ‘it’s funny how you think you can speak to me that way’ type of smile. “Be careful how you talk to me Dinah, you still have to come home after you’re discharged.”

“If you think I’m stepping foot in that house you are delusional,” I tell her.

“Where will you go, you have no one else?”

“Anywhere but there, I’ll live on the streets if I have to, now leave before I call security,” I say trying to get up from the bed to push the nurse’s emergency button.

“Dinah,” Serena’s voice comes from the door as I’m halfway up.

Fuck.

Lily smirks at me then her face falls to a frown with watery eyes, “Serena tell your sister you two will be coming home with me.”

Tears are glistening in Serena’s eyes and her bottom lip starts to quiver. I swear if she tells me she wants to go back I’m going to lose my s**t. I never wanted to put her in this position where she has to choose between her mother and her sister, but I won’t hold it against her either.

Seconds go by and they feel like everlasting years as the silence fills every corner of the room and Lily stares us down with an arctic gaze that could freeze hell over.

“We’re not going back,” I hear Serena state with a trembling tone.

“What!?”

“Please leave Lily,” this is the first time I’m hearing Serena call our mom by her name. I thought I would be relieved, but I’m just heartbroken that this is where we ended up.

Dad would have never let us get to this point; he would have talked to mom about her terrible choices for our life companions first.

Lily steps up towards Serena, but she doesn’t budge. Instead she’s forced to go around her and through the door without a single glance back.

Once Lily is out of ear shot Serena starts to break down, “Where are we going now?”

“Let me worry about that.”

“Dinah, you can’t just take on every burden,” she says slumping down into the recliner.

I can tell she’s stressed out. Technically she is an adult, but someone her age should never have to worry about shelter, or basic necessities.

“It isn’t your job to worry about things like a roof over your head.”

“It isn’t yours either,” she yells back. “We can stay in a hotel for the next week or two, but after that you’re coming with me to London.”

“I can’t just leave I have things to do,” I state knowing damn well she’s going to lose it after this, but I had to tell her that I wouldn’t be going eventually.

“There’s nothing left for us here!! Jacob is here, the further away we get the better. The police aren’t going to do anything, you heard the detective, there isn’t enough evidence,” she argues back with a hint of annoyance in her tone.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t do anything!!!”

“You’re going to get yourself killed Dinah, I can’t make it without you. We’ve already lost dad and now…  and now we don’t even have mom. Please just say you’ll come with me; we can start over.”

“I’m not just going to run away and give up my life here because of some asshole”

“You were willing to run before, what’s changed?”

“I’ve changed.”

I’m not the same person I was before, how can I be, how can anyone? Every time I’m out somewhere I’ll be looking over my shoulder making sure Jacob isn’t there.

That isn’t a life I want to live. The only way for me to be able to continue is to make sure he ends up behind bars, whatever the cost.

“He didn’t break you Dinah, I know that you think you’re broken, but you aren’t. You’re stronger than you think, you’re stronger than Jacob, than what he did to you.”

God when did she become so wise, it puts me to shame knowing that she’s being the rational one and I’m being fueled by my mixed emotions.

“What if I can’t be fixed?”

“You aren’t broken,” she repeats with an exasperated sigh, “just fractured, and a fracture heals.”

I don’t say anything, there’s nothing for me to say without sounding like a total b***h. But what if she’s right, it makes sense to leave, there’s nothing more for me here.

“I’ll take care of where we’ll be staying for the next week or so, then we’ll leave for London. We have enough money saved to keep us going for months, giving us enough time to get on our feet.”

And with that she gets her blanket and climbs into the bed with me, falling asleep within minutes. She must be exhausted; she’s had to be the adult these last couple of days and it’s finally catching up with her body.

******

I’m supposed to be discharged today and Serena isn’t back from school yet. She said she’d take care of where we’d be staying, and I’m a bit nervous. This is the first time I’ve let her take the reins.

As I’m getting my things ready and packed in my bag, Liam waltzes in looking as gorgeous as ever.

“What are you doing here Liam?”

“I’m picking you up, you’re getting discharged today right?”

“Umm yeah, but Serena said she’d pick me up, why are you here?” I ask skeptically.

“Serena said she had an emergency with student council I think,” He starts grabbing my bags from my hand without touching me. Even though I let him hold me the other day, he’s still careful to give me my space. “and since you’re staying with me, she asked me to pick you up.”

Motherfucker.

“I’m not staying with you,” I tell him trying to get my bag back.

“Well you aren’t going back to that house, and I’m sure as hell not letting you stay in a hotel, so either you cooperate, or I throw you over my shoulder, you choose.”