The Price of Freedom

Chapter 12: Sleeping Arrangements

DINAH

I didn’t put up a fight, I didn’t have the energy to. I’d deal with Serena afterwards.

We walked out to Liam’s awaiting car, or more like he walked and I hobbled. His car was beautiful, he drove a sleek Porsche, what kind, I have no clue. All I know is that it was a Porsche and it was stunning.

I looked like a peasant standing alongside it, but this seems like a very him car to drive around in. Liam held the door open for me and waited for me to get in before moving to place my bags in the back.

So, there I was sat in Liam’s car watching him drive with a smug look on his face. He won this one, only because I let him win.

“Just because I’m going doesn’t mean I agree with this,” I tell him like ten minutes into the car ride.

He simply shrugs his shoulders and continues watching the road, “You can throw a fit once we arrive.”

“I’m not a child, I don’t throw fits,” I argue back. Yes, perhaps this was a fit, but I refuse to acknowledge it as such.

“Then what do you call this?” He glances over at me tilting his head a little and waving his hand at me, “A tantrum?”

No matter how annoying he’s being right now I just want to hold his hand. I want to run my fingers through his golden hair, I want to feel the comfort I felt when he held me and just let me cry.

Needy much? No doubt.

But it’s becoming challenging to only see him as a friend. A friend I had s*x with, but he hasn’t asked me for more than what I am willing to give him.

I didn’t say anything for the rest of the car ride, we both sat in a comfortable silence listening to whatever played on the radio.

I should be grateful that someone is willing to help me, that I have someone like Liam on my side. He hasn’t asked for anything in return, and he hasn’t forced me to talk about what happened.

I should stop referring to the incident as ‘what happened,’ the sooner I acknowledge it, the sooner I could move past it.

But I don’t want to move past it. At least not yet.

I want this rage to fuel me, I want to destroy Jacob’s life. I want his family and friends to know what a sadistic son of a b***h he is. I want them to know what he did to me, so he can never do this to anyone else.

I want…, no I need Jacob to burn for his crimes. I want him to suffer for every agonizing broken bone he left me with, for every traumatizing emotional scar I will no doubt have to live with for the rest of my life. I want him to feel what it’s like to have your agency stripped away by a f*****g animal.

I’ll play along for now; I’ll play demure and innocent Dinah. I’ll leave for London with Serena, I’ll get a job, and I may even build a life, but I will come back. I’ll come back and destroy his reputation, I’ll make sure he is left on the streets like the f*****g dog he is.

No, characterizing him as a dog is too good for him, he is in a league of his own.

I hadn’t realized we had arrived until Liam opened the car door for me. I was so lost in my reverie I didn’t notice we were in some parking garage, or what do the brits call it, a car park?

He bends over and picks me up in his arms before I even take one step out of the car, “I’m not crippled, I can walk.”

I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck and he just gives me that dazzling smile he has no doubt used on other women before.

“But you don’t have to when I’m around,” he responds without a missed step.

Quite literal swoon.

Liam is making it incredibly difficult for me to not melt like a popsicle on a hot summer’s day. How soon is too soon to be attracted to another man after you are almost assaulted. Is there a right time, or do you just jump in head first and hope the pool is filled.

He carries me to the elevator and swipes a card that starts it up and it begins its ascension. I wiggle around in his arms trying to adjust myself hoping that I’m not too heavy, I’ve been indulging on one to many pizzas lately.

The elevator opens directly into his apartment and I am shocked at how great the place looks. “Nice place,” I say as he gently sets me down on the couch.

I look around the entire apartment, my eyes wandering the space and was very surprised when it didn’t scream bachelor pad. It was clean and nicely decorated, very modern and minimalistic.

“Thanks, I decorated it myself,” he responds as he watches me taking it all in.

“You did this yourself?” I question clearly impressed by his eye for design.

“You seem surprised.”

“Well yeah, you don’t seem like the type to you know,” I motion towards his apartment.

He softly chuckles and shakes his head like I said something hilarious, “Let me show you to the guest rooms, Serena has already brought your things so everything should be ready for you.”

“You’re just trusting strangers in your home?”

Liam takes a couple of steps closer, completely obliterating the distance between us, and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. His icy blues latch onto my brown eyes and I feel like the air just got sucked out of my lungs, “I’d like to think we’re more friendly than strangers.”

My brain completely short circuited, I should not be comfortable with a man this soon after. But I am, I definitely am.

I couldn’t manage to say anything at all, I couldn’t even muster the courage to verbally agree with him, all I could do was simply nod and accept the fact that yes, we are more friendly than strangers. I even wanted to say that yes, we were probably more friendly than friends, but that can wait for another day.

He took a few steps back allowing me to regain my wits, leaving me craving his warmth even more. I could still feel his body near, I could feel his cool breathe fanning my face even after he moved away.

I wanted to beg him to come back, I really did. What would that make me, desperate? I’m just a temporary guest in his home, one he so graciously allowed to stay after the incident. Did he do it because he felt bad for me?

Like being pushed into a pool, all the thoughts that maybe he was doing all of this because he liked me vanished. Liam was simply helping out of concern for a friend, he simply pitied me and that’s why he is being so kind.

After showing me to where I would be sleeping, his room being right down the hall, Liam gave me the grand tour of his apartment, it was magnificent. The pièce de résistance was probably the kitchen, I could imagine all the delectable dishes that could be prepared in here. Did he even deign to put anything in his body that wasn’t healthy, did he indulge in the occasional donut?

I contemplated asking, but I didn’t want to come off as judgmental either, so I’ll wait.

Serena finally arrived to relieve Liam of baby-sitting duties and he left to train. Of course, he trains that often, with a body like that I couldn’t imagine him doing anything else with his free time.

“I’ve got our plane tickets; we leave after graduation on Sunday,” Serena mentions as if this were an everyday occurrence.

I’m currently sitting in the large bathtub of the en suite bathroom, with her a few feet away doing her nails. She must think I’m suicidal if she’s stuck to my side every single minute she’s free.

I don’t blame her, I tried my hardest not to wake up, but now I need to live or else there go all my plans. Who will make Jacob pay if not for me?

“Are you sure this is what you want?” I ask her hoping she’d reconsider so that I can stay close and keep an eye on that f*****g menace.

“It’s what we need,” she tells me with a sigh, she must be extremely tired of discussing this with me. “I’ve already found some apartments -er flats- that would be available when we arrive, I’ll send you the link and you can choose.”

I don’t respond, I just sat and enjoyed my bath trying to relax my muscles and my mind from the overwhelming anger I have been doused in.

******

Serena has been sleeping in the room with me since I left the hospital, I can’t manage to sleep alone. The paralyzing fear that someone is just sitting in the dark waiting for me to slip up consumes me and I need her to keep me leveled or else I feel like I’m going to combust.

I knew it wouldn’t last, Serena is a young woman and wants to go out into the world without me holding her back.

“Is it ok if I stay at Valentina’s house tonight?”

“What for?” I ask her ask panic begins to creep in.

“It’s senior week, and as student body president I have to attend the events, it’ll be late so I figured I could go home with Vale to avoid driving back by myself,” why does she have to be so sensible and responsible sometimes? I would feel a lot better if she just came back, but I shouldn’t be selfish.

“Does her mom know?”

“Yeah you can call her if you want, I’ll save her number to your phone in case of an emergency,” of course I’m going to call her, I want to make sure you’re safe.

“Okay, just let me know when you get to Valentina’s,” I tell her trying to hide the obvious tremble in my voice.

She stands up from her seat and snuggles in next to me on the couch, “Will you be okay here alone? Liam is training most afternoons, but I can ask him to skip tonight. I just want to make sure you feel safe?”

“I’ll be fine S, go enjoy your last week of senior year”

“Okay, call me if you need anything okay, I’ll be here in a second.” She kisses me on the cheek and I hold onto her hand a little longer than I should before I let her leave.

I didn’t think that sleeping could be so tedious, I have been rolling around in the bed for hours trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep in. I heard Liam arrive a few hours ago, or at least I really hope it was Liam, he’s probably dead asleep by now.

Is it too late to go into the kitchen for a snack?

I find myself pacing around the hallway like a mad woman mulling over my next move and if it’s a smart one. On one hand, I’ll be able to sleep after, but on the other, I’m not sure if it would be safe.

I steel my courage and manage to bring myself to his door.

“Hey Liam,” I whisper after knocking on his door.

I don’t get a response, so I creak the door open and see that he’s fast asleep. I knock again and this time I get a small groan in response.

“Hey Liam,” I urge again.

He lifts himself up on his elbows and watches me standing at his door twiddling my fingers.

“Can I stay in here? I mean if you don’t mind. I’m just... I’m just a little…” he doesn’t even let me finish, he just holds out his hand as if beckoning me and I happily comply. I quickly pad over to his side of the bed before he can change his mind and Liam scoots over making more room for me to where he isn’t touching me.

Climbing into the bed, Liam is facing away from me and I cover myself with the pristine white comforter, basking in the scent of his masculinity.

I don’t know if I should be offended that he doesn’t want to be near me or grateful that he’s giving me space. It’s like my mind is telling me to go to him, but my body is rejecting the idea of another man.

I have been staring at his back for the past couple of minutes, in a bewitching stillness, watching as every breathe he takes causes his impeccable body to rise and fall like the tides.

Liam’s body is radiating warmth and I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame. And just like the moth, I am not considering the risk that will be brought forth once I reach the bright light and get singed into oblivion.

So, I ignore the uncertainty and I scoot in closer to his side reveling in the close proximity. A slight breeze could push either one of us into each other and the elation I feel at that thought makes me want to do summersaults.

Liam turns around to face me, placing his large hand cups my cheek absently rubbing my cheekbone with his thumb. He makes me feel pretty, even with all the bruises and scars I’ll be left with. His hand leaves my cheek and he moves his arm over my waist pulling me in closer. I tense at the sudden action and I have to remember that he isn’t Jacob, he wouldn’t hurt me.

I repeat those words over and over in my head forcing my body to relax under his soft touch. He feels my uneasiness and moves to retract is arm, I instantly hold onto his forearm and pull him back.

Once I feel at ease I nestle into his chest and lay my head on him as he holds me like a precious jewel in his care.

“Good night Dinah,” he tells me, his voice gruff and sleepy.

I wrap my arms around him and pull his body flush against mine with a gigantic smile on my face, “Good night Liam.”