The Price of Freedom

Chapter 10: Irreparably Broken

DINAH

My eyelids felt heavy and I felt a pounding in the back of my head. I could hear voices around me, but I couldn’t distinguish whose they were. All I knew was that I wanted to sleep forever.

So, I did, no one was waiting for me, Serena would be okay, she’d leave after graduating. My dad was waiting, the only man who ever loved me unconditionally, he’d keep me safe.

The pounding in my head persisted. I could hear crying and voices talking about how I had to wake up. Could they be less annoying right now, I mean I’m the one dying.

“I think she’s waking up!” One voice states.

No, I don’t want to wake up, I just want you to shut up so that I can die peacefully.

“Get the doctor,” there goes the other one, like the doctor has any say in the matter. Why can’t they just let go, I have.

“You get the doctor, she’s my sister,” and I’m guessing that’s Serena.

“Quit being a child Serena and go get the doctor,” who the f**k is that?

“Fine I’m only going because I want to, not because you told me to,” Serena responds making me internally roll my eyes.

My eyes finally opened up and I awoke to bright lights and the smell of antiseptic. I looked around the room and quickly realized that I’m in a hospital, my mind is flooded with memories of what happened to me.

I was in pain, so much pain it was blinding. I could barely move an inch without feeling like my entire body would fall apart any minute.

Liam is standing at my bedside looking me over concerned. What is he even doing here? I don’t want him to see me like this. Broken. Jacob broke me, and I let him.

“Hi Dinah,” he greeted me.

He neared closer to me and when he reached for me, I unintentionally flinched at his movement. Liam stepped a few steps away looking like I just kicked his puppy.

I appreciate him being here, but he has no right looking and feeling sad in front of me, he didn’t go through what I did.

Serena came running back with a doctor and Sacha trailing behind her. How many people know what happened to me? God this is embarrassing.

“Hello Miss Muñoz, how are you feeling?”

I didn’t want to talk about what happened to me in front of them. I don’t want to seem weak.

I can already tell they all feel sorry for me, sorry for what I had to go through, sorry for not being there to stop it from happening. There pity was unwanted.

“Can you please ask them to leave,” I didn’t even want to look in their faces, all I saw was pity.

“Dinah please,” Serena started. “We just want to be here for you.”

“Serena get out! All of you!” I lashed out, I felt horrible doing so, but I couldn’t help it.

Sacha was the first to leave, I could tell he didn’t want to leave Serena, but she yanked her hand out of his when he tried to lead her out.

I could see tears forming in her beautiful chocolatey eyes, but this is the last thing I needed. I didn’t need to see her crying because of what happened. I didn’t need for her to make me feel more guilty for not being able to comfort her.

“Come Serena,” Liam coaxed her. “She just needs time.”

I don’t need time. What I needed was for them to just let me go and drift off into sweet bliss, but they were selfish.

The doctor turned back to me and smiled, I was glad she was an old lady, probably nearing sixty. What harm could she possibly do?

She told me I had been out for almost 3 days, and that I was in and out of consciousness for most of it. I had to be sedated at one point because I was out of control screaming. I don’t even remember that happening.

“Now, do you want to tell me how you sustained your injuries?”

Not really, no.

She took my silence as an answer and just continued speaking.

“You had a fractured skull, multiple contusions, you required stitches inside your cheek and eyebrow, acquired a sprained ankle, various bite marks across your chest, a broken nose, and three fractured ribs. We completed a rape kit, there were no signs of trauma down there, but we were told you were found in the shower, so if there was any DNA, there isn’t anymore.”

Hearing her list every damage done to me I couldn’t help but silently cry and wish for death. Jacob did that to me. He hasn’t even completed his assault and I was already breaking down. Do I even have a right to feel this way?

I couldn’t feel the tears streaming down my face, probably from all the sedatives they had to inject me with, but I could see all the tear drops on gown. I couldn’t even cry properly, because my eye hurt and my stitches would give.

Jacob even took the simple pleasure of crying from me, what a f*****g asshole.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but the police are asking questions. The man found in that hotel room almost died and they want to know what happened.”

“They won’t believe me,” I muttered

“You won’t know until you try,” she told me. “All your injuries tell a story.”

The doctor was kind, even though I gave her no reason to be. She informed me of how long I would take to heal, and everything I needed to do to speed up the process, I just wanted to go home.

But I no longer had a home.

She didn’t push for answers I wasn’t ready to give but she asked me to prepare myself because I would need to give them eventually. She told me that she had to notify the police I was finally awake.

Once she left, I was in complete silence, I could hear the nurses talking about their weekend plans in the hallway. They were so happy and oblivious to the turmoil going on in my mind.

I was jealous of their blissful ignorance.

There’s a knock at my door and Serena peaks her head through the crack, “Dinah, can I come in?”

I nod, I can’t very well turn her away.

“Please forgive me Dinah, I should have never left you alone,” I knew it, she’d feel guilty for not being there.

“None of this is your fault,” I try telling her.

It really isn’t, if anything I’m glad she wasn’t there. The evil spawn would have just used her against me and then neither of us would have gotten out of there intact.

“Yes, it is, because he wouldn’t have gotten the chance to hurt you if I were there,” she cried out.

False.

Truthfully, I’m already done with this conversation, I love Serena with all my heart, but blaming anyone but Jacob is just wrong. “If you were there, he would have hurt you too Serena, there was nothing you could have done.”

She started sobbing like her lungs were about to give. I just needed her to stop so that I could get my thoughts in order, being out for a couple of days really take a toll on someone. I held my hand out for her to take and pulled her onto the bed with me, and she snuggled into my arms.

Serena’s warmth and familiarity were a welcoming reprieve from the cold of this hospital room. She lay in my arms crying for a few minutes until they were just sniffles.

“Mom is here, she wants to see you.”

“I don’t want to see her S,” I told her straight up.

At this moment, Lily is the last person I want to see.

“She just wants to make sure you’re okay,” no, she just wants to make sure I don’t blame her. And I do, so it won’t do her any good to come in here and ruin the high I have from all this morphine I’m being pumped full of.

“I will never be okay, but her feelings are no longer my concern,” I confess.

Serena doesn’t say anything after that, she just hugs me back and falls asleep in my arms.

At some point I must have drifted off to sleep because I wake up to hearing someone shuffling around in the room. I thought it was Serena at first, but she was still in my arms.

I willed my eyes to open only to see the Demon Spawn’s parents putting flowers next to my bed.

“Hello Dinah, we’ve come to check up on you, how are you sweet girl?” Mrs. Bennett asks me in a sickeningly sweet voice that makes me want to stick scissors in my ears.

Am I being harsh? Perhaps, but I don’t understand why she’s here, especially after what her son did to me.

“I don’t think you should be in here.”

They are either completely oblivious to Jacob’s ways, or they are just as cruel as he is for coming in here.

“We had to come see you when we found out you were hurt,” Mr. Bennett explains from behind his wife.

Now that I’m looking at him, Jacob looks nothing like him. Mr. Bennett has soft brown eyes that remind me of my dad, but he bred and evil spawn so he can’t possibly be that good.

Then again, I shouldn’t blame the parent for the child’s mistake.

“I wasn’t just hurt, Jacob hurt me,” I explained bluntly, they looked genuinely surprised by what I had just said, but didn’t say anything so I continued. “He not only hurt me in that hotel room, but he hurt me in the bridal shop with the attendant a few feet away, he hurt me in my own home with guests in the next room over. I can’t even imagine what he’d do to me if I got married to him and he got me alone.”

Mrs. Bennett only seemed to focus on the injuries that landed me in the hospital, but that’s not her fault. There’s no proof of those other times. The only person who saw the damage was Serena. “What are you talking about? We thought you two were attacked.”

“The only attacking was done by Jacob and I was on the receiving end. I did what I had to do to survive,” I answer referring to strangling the daylights out of Jacob.

I wonder if they know, I mean they should, if they’ve seen him. I doubt the marks from the hair dryer cord will be leaving him anytime soon. If karma is real, he’ll be out longer than I will.

“He wouldn’t do that,” Mrs. Bennett tries to reason.

God could they really be this dense.

“He would and he did. Your son is abusive and a rapist. Now please leave.”

I shouldn’t feel bad for the way I treated them, but I do after all they weren’t the ones that hurt me. But they should know better than anyone what their son is capable of, they raised him.

Mrs. Bennett tried to step closer but I held my hand up asking her to stop, “Dinah please, my Jacob would never do such a thing. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

Like angels sent from above, Liam and Sacha walk in with bags of what I’m assuming is food, if the scent is any indication.

“There is no misunderstanding, now please leave, I have other visitors,” I tell Mr. and Mrs. Bennett, not giving them an option to argue back.

I unwrap Serena from my arms who is still sound asleep, how she can sleep through so much commotion I will never know.

Liam and Sacha place the bags on the small coffee table in the room before looking back at me.

Just my luck that my bladder feels like it’s about to burst while there are other people here. I slowly get up off the bed, and start shuffling towards the bathroom. A few steps in and my ankle gives, but before I could hit the floor, Liam’s arms are holding me up.

“No, please,” I begin as I steady myself against the wall and push his arms away. “Please don’t touch me.”

He doesn’t argue with me, just steps back and lets me get to the bathroom on my own.

I do like him, I may even be in love with him, but I never gave myself the chance to see where it could go. Could I even give him a chance now? I can barely stand being in the presence of men.

Whenever I feel someone’s hands on me, I’m just reminded of Jacob and his hands and the things they did to me.

But Liam’s hands are soft and warm, nothing like Jacob’s that were cold and calculated. And Liam was here, he didn’t need to be, I’ve pushed him away multiple times and he’s still here putting up with my s**t. But how long could that last?

I wouldn’t be surprised if he runs for the hills now, who would want to date someone who doesn’t want to be touched.

I am irreparably broken.