keep pushing forward

chapter 10

Jenna.

I was straddling Shane but as he kissed down my neck I didn't even care. I felt lighter and free as his

hands worked under my tee holding on to my waist and I felt one run up my back. the touch was so soft, even though his hands were rough. a moan slipped my lips as he got to my collar bone.

my hands going under his shirt to feel his skin.

I kept my eyes shut as he kissed his way back to my lips, claiming them again I knew if I opened them I'd probably freak out. but this felt so good I didn't want it to stop.

as our tongues tasted each other my beard my phone started ringing from the small table in front of us. he kissed my lips gently s couple times before he rested his head against mine as we both tried to slow out breathing.

I knew I was probably blushing like crazy, he held on to me as he leaned forward and grabbed my phone handing it to me. I saw Matthews name so I knew it was Jackson calling to tell me about his day.

I sighed out as I answered

me - hello?

Matthew - what took so long to answer? what are you doing?

I squeezed my eyes shut shaking my head frustrated but Shane rubbed his hand along my spine.

me - how's Jackson?

Matthew - he's fine. he just wanted to talk to you. what are you doing?

me - I'm not doing anything Matthew.

Matthew - yeah okay. here Jackson your mama is finally on the phone.

I sunk down on the couch beside Shane and he pulled my legs into his lap rubbing them softly

jackson- hey mama!

me-hey buddy! how was your day?

he we on to tell me about his day and said he and Matthew were gonna go fishing tomorrow.

me-well you get some rest and be good okay?

Jackson- yes ma'am. I love you.

me - I love you too bud

jackson-okay here's daddy

I sighed out letting my head fall back j didn't want to just hang up but I also knew I wasn't in the mood to talk with him.

Matthew - hey so I guess once your done running around just let me know. or I can just keep him.

me - Matthew I'm not running around. just call me when y'all are ready for him to come home and I'll get him.

Matthew - yeah okay. have a good night Jenna.

he hung up before I could say anything else and I set the phone in my lap shaking my head.

I felt Shane take it then take my hand kissing it

" you okay darling?"

I nodded breathing out

" he's acting like I'm running around town and haven't been with my kid"

he pulled my body more into him as he took my chin making me look at him

" don't let him get to you. hes jealous and you know the truth"

I shook my head sighing out

" I know this but he always finds a way to ruin anything happening between us and I hate that. I hate that because I know you're gonna get tired of it"

he smiled at me

" what'd he ruin? because to me it looks like we're still right were we were when he called honey"

I bit my lip as he began kissing along my jawline.

" he can't ruin anything we don't let him "

a small moan left my lips as he bit my neck and he began moving us and I ended up under him, him between my legs his arm beside my head as he looked down at me for a moment then he took my lips.

the butterflies in my stomach were going insane and I felt like my body was on fire. I wasn't sure where this was going but with him this close and kissing me the way he was I couldn't seem to think straight.

he left my lips to kiss along my neck a moan leaving my mouth again.

in that moment I was lost to the world until Duke barked bringing us back to reality. I blushed as he rested his head against my neck groaning.

" I'm gonna kill him"

he growled and I giggled as he sat up kissing my lips softly and Duke barked again.

he sighed as he helped me sit up

" he's gonna need to go out again"

I nodded trying to straighten the shirt I was wearing.

" I'll come along"

I said I needed fresh air anyways. and considering we kept getting interrupted maybe we were moving things way to fast, hell I wasn't even sure I was ready to lay in bed with another man, I mean he says he will make sure I always get mine but I'm sure that's what all guys day to get a girl in bed. then what in the morning? I pretend it was amazing and then go on about my life as always?

and what if that's his end game and I just haven't caught up yet. all of this is still so new to me I'm not sure I will ever fully trust another man and that breaks my heart, I know I shouldn't doubt him the way I do but the voice in my head is so loud sometimes.

he broke me from my thoughts as he took my hand kissing it

" let's take him for his walk before he leaves us"

he said jokingly and I nodded getting up and following them out.

it was dark, but the RV park had a few lights around so it was scary.

we walked hand in hand as we walked Duke, neither of us Saying anything and I wasn't sure what to say. I mean he didn't act like he was mad we'd been interrupted not once but twice but he's a man and I know he definitely thought the making out was going somewhere tonight, I could feel that much as he laid on top of me.

I sighed out as he let go of my hand and let his arm deal around my shoulder pulling me close

" you are thinking way to hard about things Honey"

I shook my head I wanted to argue that I wasn't that he didn't know me that well but I knew I couldn't do that.

" I'm sorry"

he pulled me in front of him our bodies touching once again as we now stood in front of his RV.

he smiled down at me shaking his head and be moved some of my hair from my face

" I'm not sure why your saying sorry"

I sighed shitting my eyes

" I just feel like you had expectations for tonight and it is just everything keeps stopping that and.."

he cut me off by placing a finger over my lips gently

" one my only expectations for tonight was to spend time with you. do I want to have my way with you? hell yeah I do. you are absolutely killing me with your kisses and your body.

am I upset? no things happen and honestly when we do have s*x it'll come naturally, we don't need to force anything. and two. stop getting in your own head, if something is bothering you talk to me Jenna "

I sighed nodding my head

" sorry"

I whisper out he sighed as he pulled me into his arms holding me for a moment

" let's go get some pj's on, find some mind numbing tv and just relax?"

I nodded as he kisses my head and lead me back inside his RV. duke seemed happy he'd gone for his walk and climbed up on the couch making himself comfortable. I smiled at that but Shane shook his head sucking his teeth

" I swear the dog is spoiled "

I chuckled nodding

" only one person to blame from what I can see"

he flicked my nose as be glared at me playful

" let's get you some comfortable clothes before you and him gang up on me."

I followed him to his room area, he laid out a tee and boxers for me as he grabbed himself some boxers and comfy shorts before leaving me to change.

once I did and used the restroom I looked at myself in the mirror stealing his toothbrush. I couldn't over think this. he said we were just gonna hang out, watch TV. I could do that, heck we had done that on vacation.

once I was done with my teeth I sighed before walking back into his bedroom area, he was laid on the bed stretched out, one arm behind his head and the other flipping through channels.

his chest was bare for my eyes to take in and I bit my lip blushing. he definitely wasn't making things easier for me.

he finalized made eye contact with me smirking at he patted the bed

" Jenna love we've done this before"

I breathed out nodding as I climbed in bed beside him

Shane.

man her body pressed to mine had my head going insane, and we won't even mention what it was doing to my body.

once we were on our walk with Duke, who by the way is definitely a damn c**k block at the moment.

I could tell she was once again thinking things over in bed mind. she was stressing herself out over a simple thing as being interrupted and I wasn't sure how to show her everything was fine.

after she changed into my tee and boxers j knew she was checking me out, I was happy she liked what she saw. I sure in f**k loved looking at her in my tees.

at first she didn't move after she got in bed so I pulled the covers over us wrapping her in my arms as I handed her the remote.

she relaxed a bit and flipped through finding her criminal shows and we laid there watching them.

she must have been exhausted because it wasn't long before she rolled over and wrapped a leg around mine as her sma hand landed on my chest.

I kissed her head sighing out. I was okay with the uphill battle I knew I would be fighting but damn if she only could understand how she makes me feel she wouldn't doubt things so much.

I laid there holding her and watching her sleep for a bit before I finally let sleep take me.

waking up my hand was under her shirt right on her rib cage. I knew if I moved a bit I could have a hand full of her breast but I also knew that she might freak out.

laying there holding her I felt her heart rate pick up so I slowly slid my hand down rubbing her stomach back up to her rib cage. I took the chance and grabbed her big breast and her breathing stopped.

I kissed her shoulder

" calm down darlin"

she started breathing again but her heart rate was going crazy as I massaged her beast.

I kissed along her neck gently trying to help her relax, I knew my hard c**k was poking her but for a moment she relaxed and let her body mold to mine as a moan slipped out.

" good morning beautiful"

I said between kisses

" morning"

she breathed out.

I gave her one last squeeze kissing her neck once more before Letting my hand hand to her stomach

" I know you don't eat breakfast. so coffee then I swing you by yours to grab clothes"

she breathed out rolling to face me. her face as as blushed as she bit her lip nodding.

..

we'd had an amazing day. just a little fishing. talking and goofing around before I dropped her back at her place. I hated having to leave her knowing he was coming over but I also knew if I was there when he showed up kt wouldn't help things.

sitting down on my couch after I showered and took Duke for a walk I sighed don't holding my phone waiting for her to text or call.

Jenna.

I'd really enjoyed my day. I let out a squeal as I got dressed after my quick shower. I knew Matthew would be here soon with Jackson and I was so ready to see my boy but damn it felt so good to actually be out with Shane. this morning I thought he was gonna try more. hell my body was wanting more but I was so nervous.

but he didn't try anything else. we had coffee I can home and changed and we sat at the lake acting silly neither of us really catching much. but the day was so relaxing.

Jackson came running through the door as I started dinner.

" mama!"

he yelled as his body collided with mine I let out a laugh squeezing him

" hey bud how was your day?'

he shrugged

" it was fun. I'm hungry"

I laughed shaking my head as I ruffled his hair

" I'm starting spaghetti"

" yes!"

he fist pumped before running off

" can we talk a bit?"

my head snapped up finding Matthew standing in my kitchen. I turned the meat and noodled down nodding follow I him out me door.

he stood on my porch with his hands in his pockets

" did y'all have fun?'

I asked trying to make conversations

" oh yeah we always do"

I nodded looking around crossing my arms as he swayed back and forth looking me over he sighed

" look. I'm not trying to be ugly I just think maybe you need to think twice about Shane. I mean he's had a drug problem and I'm not sure if he's the best to be around Jackson."

I sighed nodding

" he's clean Matthew that was a few years ago everyone has a past. I wouldn't have him around if I wasn't sure and honestly other than family gatherings he isn't around Jackson much"

he nodded even though I felt I didn't need to explain myself to him I didn't want to fight

" okay. I trust you. how about a family dinner tomorrow? pizza on me?"

I looked at him confused. he hadnt ever asked anything like this before.

he walked closer to me taking my hand and rubbing it softly

" come on Jenna. the boy needs to know we are both still here for him. nothing more"

I looked him over and I didn't really think this was a good idea but maybe he was finalized seeing things from my side.

I nodded

" we can meet you at the pizza place tomorrow just text me a time"

he smiled squeezing my hand

" I definitely will. I will see both you then"

he leaned in kissing my cheek surprising my before he turned and walked away.

I stood frozen. it'd been a long time since I had seen this side of him.

I watched as he waved and pulled out beforehand going back in and Finish his dinner. talking with Jackson as I did.

he had so much stuff to tell me but he was most excited for his upcoming football game.

by the time I finally got him fed, bathed and in bed I crawled into mine trying to wrap my head around the day. I sighed out as I pressed to call Shane.

shane-hey darling.

I smiled hearing his voice

me-hey

shane-how'd drop off go?

I sighed out shaking my head even though he couldn't see me.

me-I don't really know. he think I need to be careful with you but invited Jackson and I to dinner tomorrow night

I bit my lip waiting for him to blow up on me.

shane- well maybe he'd finally understanding I'm not going anywhere.

I sighed closing my eyes

me-I don't know. I hope but who knows with him.

shane-well you just do what you think is best mama

I smiled at his calming voice. and ed chatted a bit before needed to finally go to sleep I had work in the morning. the rest would work itself out hopefully I wouldn't end up heart broken in the middle of it all.