A Little Bit Married

In Bits and Pieces

I wasn't sure how the past hour had gone down, but I could see it in my mind's eye, vaguely, in bits and pieces, but those bits told a story. They told a very clear story.

I could feel the tingle of my lips, the slight pajn on my thigh, the bite marks on by bottom lip and neck. It all seemed extremely real, and I turned around, my brows furrowed. I was in bed, and I could hear the unmistakable sound of rain outside.

It all started to come together. The hungry kisses, the hands on my thigh, the hands I had laid on Gray's chest.

'Good girl.'

I sat up and turned, and sure enough, Gray was lying next to me. I flipped the covers to check, and neither of us were naked, but I could see the marks I had left on his neck in the dim evening light, the claw marks on his chest, the ruffle of his hair.

I closed my eyes and held my head as the memory slowly came back.

"I am taking you to bed," he had said, his fingers lightly caressing my thigh up and down, causing me to arch a little closer.

I could remember thinking how attractive he was if he wasn't such a borderline psycho, and I remember letting my hands rest on his shoulder.

"f**k," I said under my breath, my chest heaving. It wasn't even like I had been drunk or anything.

Or maybe I had been. Maybe I had been drunk on the hatred for Kevin and Samantha. Maybe I had been drunk on everything other than actual alcohol. I had even lied to Aunt Althea.

"f**k," I said again, pulling my knees to me as my hands rested on them. I sighed, closing my eyes.

Slowly, my fingers reached to touch my lips, and I sighed, feeling the slight swell. I couldn't even lie. Every kiss had felt so damn good, but it was wrong. They had all been so wrong from the very start. Those kisses, they weren't meant to happen.

"Flashbacks?"

I turned, and Gray was watching me, his head propped up on one arm, his eyes dark and slightly sleepy, but every inch dark and intimidating. Did I mention dark?

"You... you are awake."

"Because you kept moving."

I swallowed. "Sorry, I was just... sorry."

He didn't reply and simply watched me, his eyes blinking slowly, his other hand resting behind us.

We fell into silence, and I couldn't bring myself to look at him or keep eye contact. I couldn't bring myself to see the man I had kissed so fervently, just days after Kevin died.

"I don't think he would care much. You are not the woman he loves anyway."

I turned to Gray, and he was still watching me expressionlessly, his eyes fixed on mine.

"How... did you..."

"It's written all over your face. And even though I knew you still had lingering feelings, the last thing I expected to have to talk about was a dead ex." He moved, flipping the covers away, his fingers passing through his hair.

"Gray, I was just..."

"Especially not after you leaned into me too. You are not honouring my vows. And for what? A cheater? You wake up thinking kissing me was a mistake because of a f*****g cheater?"

"Gray, I was just..."

Before I could finish, however, he was gone, the door slamming hard after him, his scent lingering in the air, just like his eyes. I sighed, closing my eyes as my fingers raked into my hair. This defeated the whole purpose of kissing him back like that.

I had wanted to keep him with me, to keep my place here so I don't lose on all ends. I wanted to make peace with the compensation the heavens had given me for getting Kevin snatched away from me like that, only to ruin it like this.

I leaned back, my chest heaving. For some reason, maybe as some twisted punishment, all I could see were those kisses, the things Gray had uttered against my lips, the tingly sensation on my thigh.

I moved my dress, and sure enough, there were claw marks that had reddened up right where Gray had held my thigh. I had left the dame sort of marks on him, and if that wasn't enough to define passion, I wasn't sure what was.

I sighed and pulled the covers over my head, then closed my eyes, trying my best to keep the intrusive thoughts away, and maybe, find some solace in sleep. It didn't happen for the longest time, and when it finally did, my dreams were filled with the words; "Good girl."

I woke up to movement around the room, and I immediately flipped the covers, thinking it would be Gray, but it wasn't. A maid was putting the room in order.

I sighed and leaned back, my eyes closing again. I didn't even know what to say to him even if he did decide to talk to me.

I turned to the window. The sun was up now, and the clouds were slightly Gray, reminiscent of yesterday's storm.

Samantha and Maurine. They had been outside, probably through it all, because I knew Gray would never open up. Guilt filled me up, and I started to get out of bed, just as the door opened.

Aunt Althea poked her head in, then gave me a small smile as she slowly walked in. I sat up to greet her as she walked in closer.

I expected her to sit on the bed with me, but instead, she went on her knees, her hands clasped in front of her.

"Aunt!"

"Please open the door," she said, her voice shaky. "I know you have the keys. I know you think this is for your own best interest, and I am not in any way supporting Samantha, but I beg of you."

"Aunt Althea," I said, reaching out to her.

"I beg of you," she said again, her eyes holding mine.

I sat there, unable to say no, yet knowing I would be risking even more with Gray if I did that. I shook my head. I had given everything to Kevin, yet he cheated. If Gray would want his first woman back, then nothing I do would stop it.

I turned to the dresser, and thankfully, the keys were right there, camouflaged by the decor.

"I will," I said, pushing aside my own selfishness. I had let it take control last night.

I wouldn't make the same mistake today.