A Little Bit Married

The Diary

I got to the main entrance, and true to Gray's word, a limo was waiting, with the door open and a driver waiting outside. It only made me feel even worse because it felt like Gray wanted to prove a point to me. I hated that I could predict where he was leading to, and I hated that I could feel myself putting the pictures together. Connecting the dots. I hated it even more that they did fit.

I went into the car, and the driver closed the door, then went around to get into the driver's seat. I watched as he got in and closed the door. And turned on the ignition. He didn't even bother to ask me where I was going.

We got out of the Gray Mansion, and I closed my eyes, my lips moving to say a silent prayer. I tried to distract myself with the sights, with the discomfort of the dress I was wearing, with anything.

Nothing worked. All I could see was that bracelet. That night eight days ago. All I could see was....

My house slowly came into view, and I felt my heart sink. It was dark. The lights were off, and it seemed empty. I turned to the window. It was past sunset already, and Kelvin was always home by this time.

My heart clenched tight, and I couldn't wait for the driver to stop. The car finally came to a stop, and I opened the door before the driver could come around to do it.

"I will be waiting," he called after me, his voice rising a little above the blood rushing in my ears and the nervous cackles in my heart.

I swallowed as I got to the door, then turned it. It was unlocked, and I noticed Kelvin's key in the keyhole.

Relief started to wash over me, and I opened the door, my eyes wide. Maybe he could have fallen asleep. Maybe that is why he hadn't turned on any lights.

I turned on the lights in the sitting room. It was exactly the way I had left it. I walked to the kitchen, like I was avoiding going to the room and not finding Kelvin there. The eerie silence in the house betrayed my initial relief of finding his keys outside.

Finally, I decided to make my way towards the room. My fingers lingered around the door knob before I finally convinced myself to open it. I guess I was scared of being heartbroken. I guess I was scared of being left behind, just like Gray.

The door slowly opened, and I pushed my hand in, then switched on the lights. It took me a few seconds to adjust, but I did, and I saw it. The bed was empty. Made. Empty.

I swallowed, my chest heaving as I walked towards the closet. I needed to know. I needed to find out. I opened the closet, and a tear rolled down my cheeks.

Nothing that belonged to Kelvin was there. Not even the diary he always kept. I took a step back, my chest heaving, my eyes blinking rapidly. Did I just help another woman run away with my Fiancée? Did I just...

I swallowed and turned away to the bed. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I started to open the sheets, tearing it apart, like Kelvin would be somewhere underbeath, hidden by the monstrous load of those sheets. He was, unfortunately, not that small, and in his place was the diary.

I slowly grabbed it, my knees weakening. My eyes were dry, and I struggled with the tears, but I guess I felt more like an i***t than I felt betrayed.

I wondered what Gray had thought when he checked me up. How he couldn't wait to tell me that my goody two shoes act of service hadn't fact being me shooting myself in the head.

The diary felt warm in my hand, and I swallowed, slowly opening it. I never read it because I thought I was respecting his privacy.

Slowly, I opened it. At first, the entries revolved around me. The things his mother had said that I hadn't even heard of. The dates we had, the times we kissed.

But then... th entries diverted a little. They started to mention him feeling a little distance. Feeling like the spark was gone. I swallowed, my chest heaving.

He fell out of love with me. He was tired of fighting, and he slowly, like a coping mechanism, learned to let go of me. Like a coping mechanism, he learned to forget about me.

And he fell in love with Samantha. I had been madly in love with him down to the moment I left this morning. Hell, I was still madly in love with him and completely ready to fight for everything we were. I was ready to fight to have a family with him.

I got to the very last entry, and it was dated for today. I swallowed hard, my chest heaving. The tears burning behind my eyes, but I couldn't let them win.

"If you are seeing this, Evangeline, then I was a coward who couldn't tell you how I truly felt. I was a coward who got tired of fighting."

The tears won. My heart was shattering with every word I read, with every second that ticked by, and he wasn't hugging me from behind and telling me that it was all aa shitty prank.

"Truth is, I found love again. She is pretty. My mum loves her. She makes me feel all the things you don't anymore. She makes me want to hang on. I am sorry I couldn't tell you. Seeing you work so hard to have your dream wedding... maybe you needed a husband who truly loved you too. Or at least, didn't have an option he preferred. I am sorry, Evangeline. I wish I could finish this with an I love you."