Fortress Island Series 3: Matteo, The Bastard's Sweetest Downfall

EIGHT: HAPPINESS

Matteo’s POV

"Why are you so lonesome tonight, dear brother?"

Nilingon ko ang malambing na boses ni Mira. Nakatayo ito sa bukana ng terrace ng aking kwarto. "Do you need a company, or should I just mind my own business?" She made a cute expression, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"As if I could shove you away, knowing how stubborn you are. Get your ass here and sit with me." I pat the space of the couch I was sitting in.

She made a cute dance while coming near to me. Nang umupo ito sa aking tabi, inabot ko ang blanket na nasa single chair at kinumot ko sa kanyang katawan. It's always chilly in the evenings here on the island and because she's heavily pregnant, I did not want her to catch a cold.

"So sweet as always." She leaned her head against my chest as we both stared at the moon.

"You should be sleeping by now, Mira." Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na pero tiyak akong lagpas alas dose na ng hating-gabi.

She snorted. "I slept all day, Matt. Masakit na ang likod ko kakahilata. Hindi na ako dalawin ng antok. Hinintay ko lang na makatulog si Romano bago ako bumangon at lumabas ng silid. He's dead tired playing and taking care of our kids all day. I feel sorry for him." Tawa nito "At isa pa, ang likot ng pamangkin mo na ito pag gabi. Panay ang sipa."

I chuckled. I placed my hand on her tummy and as if on cue, her baby made a kick that made me chuckled even more. "He's a warrior, that's for sure."

"Without a shred of a doubt." She answered with pride. "But don't dodge my question, big bro. Why are so lonesome? Did someone break your heart?" Humiwalay ito sa akin at nagsalubong ang kilay.

"You're so nosy, Mira." I picked my shot glass and drank from it. "How could you accuse me of such thing?" I snickered. Sa gilid ng aking mata ay kita ko ang pag-iling ni Mira. Bakas sa kanyang mga mata ang disappointment habang nakatingin ito sa center table na may ilang bote ng alak na nakapatong.

"I'm worried, Matt. Every time we come here in the island; you always prefer to be alone. Tinatanong namin si Ale at Romano, pero ang sinasagot lang ng dalawa ay hayaan ka lang namin. But I'm bothered. I'm sorry if I'm being a pain in the ass but I'm your sister, Matt. Karapatan kong mag-alala. You can tell me whatever the hell is bothering you."

Umiling ako at magsasalin sana ng alak sa baso pero pinigilan ni Mira ang aking kamay. I almost swore if I didn't help myself.

"Enough with alcohol, Matt. You know how much it affects me." Her sad voice created a hallow in my already hallow heart. I almost wanted to punch myself. I forgot how much pain it caused Mira when Romano was being treated for being alcoholic during their trying times.

"I'm sorry, angel." I kissed her forehead and leaned back against the sofa. "No drinking when you're around, I get it."

She rolled her eyes. "Drink moderately. I don't want you to die young."

I scoffed. "Me? I didn't survive the marine's life just to get killed by alcohol. You're too funny."

"Whatever Superman." She pouted. Humilig ulit ito sa aking dibdib at humugot ng malalim na hininga. "You like her that much, huh?" Her tone was light, but she wasn't teasing me.

Nagpatay-malisya ako. "Her? Who are we talking about here?"

"Tss. Let's name her as Porsche nalang." She teased.

I groaned in response. I didn't like how it affect me just because someone spoke her name. "What about her?"

"Did you two break up?"

I almost laughed. "Did we break up? I don't know. We were not in a relationship to begin with."

"But you like her, yes?"

"Uhm."

She seems like a wonderful person."

"She is."

"She's a simple woman with a pretty face."

"The prettiest I have ever seen, yes." Especially when she smiled.

"And you love her."

"I do—what?" I laughed. "Oh, no, angel. Love is a strong word. You tricked me there."

Makahulugan ako nitong tinitigan. "Kung ganun ay ano ang nararamdaman mo pala sa kanya? Bakit parang ang asta mo e katapusan na ng mundo, Matt?"

"I don't think I love her. But I do like her a lot. I like having her around."

Mira rolled her eyes at me. "Boys. Bakit parang nakakainsulto sa inyo na aminin na in love kayo? Tapos kapag iniwan naman kayo, para na kayong mababaliw."

"Don't compare me to your husband and to Alejandro. I have never been in love and as far as I'm concern, hindi pa ako nasisiraan ng bait. My brains are still working just fine."

"Yet here you are, looking so broken."

"You assumed too much, Mira." Inis na sambit ko. "Lately, I feel like to be alone and quite frankly it's not too bad. It's more peaceful and quieter for me. That's the only reason why I'd rather be left alone."

"Palusot ka pa talaga. Hays." Bumalik ulit ito sa pagkakahilig sa akin. "Remember what I told you before?"

"About what?"

"When you thought you're in love with me..."

"Damn it. Don't bring back the past, Mira. Kinikilabutan ako. We even kissed." Tawa ko.

She giggled at my antics. "It was just a peck on the lips, if my memory serves me right."

"Wait till Romano found out we're talking about it. He would definitely kick my ass."

"For sure."

"He could try, though." I chuckled.

"I'm serious though. Remember what I said before?"

I rolled my eyes. So persistent. "Remind me coz I have no recollection about it anymore."

"When you told me you loved me, I told you what you felt wasn't love. Or it probably was but it was more of a brotherly love. You protected me. You took care of me. You were concerned of me. Pero malayong-malayo yun sa tunay na kahulugan ng pag-ibig. Sabi ko sa'yo noon, one day, magpapasalamat ka sa akin dahil hindi ko tinugon ang damdamin mo dahil ang babaeng makikilala mo ang siyang bubuo sa'yo. Ang babaeng magpapabago sa takbo ng iyong buhay. Sabihin mo sa akin, Matt, nahanap mo na ba siya?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Porsche's beautiful face appeared right in front of me, smiling and blushing at the same time. God, did I miss her.

"Matt?"

I opened my eyes and tilt my head to Mira's side. I turned my lips. "No, Mira. I haven't found her yet and I don't think I'm looking forward to meeting her soon. I'm good, little sis. I don't need love just to be happy. I have all you."

Her eyes got misty. "Oh, Matt." Sinubsob nito ang mukha sa aking dibdib. "Bakit pakiramdam ko'y may hindi ka sinasabi sa akin, sa amin? Are you being honest with us, Matt?"

"Yes." I smiled fondly at her as I patted her back. But when she wasn't looking at me, I gritted my teeth as looked up to the dark sky.

I'm sorry, Mira. I'm sorry, everyone.

Porsche's POV

Sa nakalipas na mga araw ay wala akong ginawa kundi ang ubusin ang oras sa aking panaderya. Laking tulong sa akin ang sunod-sunod na orders mula sa aking mga client at dahil na rin sa paparating na kasalang bayan.

"Goodness, Porsche. You look like a walking zombie." Bungad ni Bomi pagpasok nito sa bakeshop. Looking at her, tiyak akong kagagaling lang nito sa trabaho at dito na agad ito dumiretso.

"Magandang araw din sa'yo, Bomi." Umismid ako.

Hindi nito pinapatulan ang aking sinabi. Mula sa cash desk ay basta nalang ako nito hinila. Muntik ko nang mabitawan ang hawak kong calculator. I was in the middle of my inventory.

"Ano ba, Bomi!" Inis na sambit ko. Hinawakan nito ang magkabilaang braso ko. Kunot ang kanyang noo habang nakatingin ito sa akin. Matangkad ako sa kanya pero dahil naka-high heeled ito, nagpantay ang aming tingin.

"Ano ba ang problema mo?"

"Hindi ako papayag na ganito na lang ang takbo ng buhay mo, Porscheska. Magbihis ka at may pupuntahan tayo."

"Ano?" I forcefully pulled myself back from her. "In case you have forgotten, I have a bakery to run, Bomila." Tawag ko sa kanyang totoong pangalan. I loved my real name, but I just didn't like the tone she was using. What did I do to her?

Ngumiwi ito nang marinig ang sariling pangalan. "I have got it covered." Both of us looked at the door when it opened. "Zuri is here."

Zuri made his entrance sassily as he waved at us. "Hi, miladies. Nagtatalo ba kayo?"

Inis na tinanggal ko ang apron sa aking katawan. "Nakakairita kayong dalawa. Bigla-bigla na lang pupunta dito at kung ano-ano sasabihin. Ang tahimik ng araw ko at sisirain n'yo lang."

"Oh dear, ruining your day is our pleasure." Bomi answered while grinning.

"I am pissed, Bomi. It's not funny!"

"No one cares. C'mon, change your clothes."

"At saan naman tayo pupunta?"

"We will pamper ourselves today."

My eyebrow rose. "Parlor?"

"Does spa and massage sound good to you?" Her smile grew into a big grin.

I rolled my eyes and grin afterwards. "Hindi naman kasi agad sinabi. I'll be ready in five!" Agad akong tumalikod sa kanila pero tumigil lang dahil may gusto akong sabihin. "I love you both." I blew the twin a kiss. They rolled their eyes at me.

Nanakbo agad papasok sa bahay at paakyat sa aking silid para magpalit ng damit. Hindi ko na inalintana ang hagikhikan ng dalawa.

**********

Makalipas ang dalawang oras ay nasa harap ako ng vanity mirror at dalawang babae ang nag-aayos sa make-up at buhok ko. I was so clueless what was happening.

"Why do you have to doll me up, Bomi? You're up to something." My eyes narrowed at her.

"Hello. What's wrong about buying a dress and making ourselves prettier than we already are? We're gonna have dinner, Porsche, then we'll go clubbing. It's Friday night. Everyone should go out and have fun. Zuri will take care of the kids, don't worry." Sabi ni Bomi mula sa aking likuran.

"You are a scheming witch." We did go to spa and massage pero ang ayusan at pagandahin ako ay hindi ko inaasahan. "Mapapagastos ka."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Okay lang. Kakasahod ko lang naman at wala akong paggagastuhan."

"Bomi." I suddenly felt uncomfortable.

She stood behind me and squeezed my shoulders. She must have sensed it. "Trust me."

I nodded. "Thank you. Makakabawi din ako sa'yo."

"Makita lang kita na masaya, okay na okay na talaga ako, bestie."

"Why are we so being dramatic suddenly?" I chuckled.

"Mid-life crises, probably." She laughed.

Another hour later, we were standing at the entrance of The Pavilion. Lalong lumalim ang gitla sa aking noo nang nilingon ko si Bomi na halatang kabado.

"Wag mo sabihin sa akin na dito tayo magdi-dinner, Bomi? Hindi na talaga ako maniniwala! What are you seriously up to?"

She smiled apologetically at me. "I'm sorry, bestie. I'm just doing this for you."

"Ano? Pakipaliwanag mo nga sa akin."

She was about to speak up, but someone caught her eyes. "There she is."

Nilingon ko ang kanyang tinatanaw. Halos lumuwa din ang mata ko nang marealize kung sino ang babaeng nakangiting sinasalubong kami.

"Hi! Nakarating kayo!" She was so elated and glowing. Halatang pinapaligiran ito ng pagmamahal mula sa mga taong mahal din nito.

"Medyo natraffic kami, actually." Despensa ni Bomi.

Whatever the hell is going on here?

"Okay lang yun, ang mahalaga ay nandito na kayo." Nilingon ako ni Mira. "Hi, Porsche. It's been a while. By the way, you look stunning." The sincerity in her voice made my cheek turn into red.

"T—thank you." I stammered.

"Tara. Pasok na tayo."

"Uhm. Actually, hinatid ko lang talaga si Porsche. I have a date with my boyfriend kaya sorry kung hindi ako makaka-join. I know you will take care of her, Ma'am Mira?"

I glared at my best friend. Is she being serious? Is she really going to leave me here alone?

"Of course, Bomi. Don't worry, kami ang bahala kay Porsche. Makakaasa ka na nasa mabuti siyang kamay. We're harmless."

"Alam ko naman yun." Ngisi ni Bomi.

"Have fun and enjoy your date, Bomi." Mira added.

Bomi beamed at her. "Thank you." She then glanced at me. "See you later, bestie." She took a step forward and whispered near my ear. "Please be happy."

Gusto ko sana itong pigilan at hawakan sa kamay pero kung totoo mang may date ito, ayaw kong maging chaperon.

Hindi na ako nakasagot pa dahil kumaripas na ito papalayo sa amin ni Ma'am Mira.

I swallowed. "I'm sorry if I am being awkward. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari. My friend didn't tell me anything about this."

"Dahil may palagay siyang hindi ka papayag. Bomi and I have probably the same brain waves. We're pulling the same stunt as we speak." She chuckled. She clutched her hand on my forearm. I found her gesture cute. "I hope you're not mad, Porsche, because we made you clueless. Bea and I really want you to be present tonight. This day is special."

"Bakit, Ma'am Mira? Anong meron sa araw na ito?"

"Please, Mira nalang, Porsche. Kung ayaw mong tawagin kitang ate Porsche. Anyway, malalaman mo kung bakit espesyal ang araw na ito." Hagikhik nito habang naglalakad kami patungo sa malawak na pinto.

"Wait, Mira." I gulped hard. "Is Matteo there?"

She smiled widely at me. "What do you think, Porsche?"

"I—"

She clasped my hands with hers. "It's going to be okay."

I heaved a deep sigh. Am I ready to face him? What the hell am I doing? Ilang araw na nagtatalo kami ng sarili ko. God knew how many times I picked up the phone to stare at Matt's number and every time I found the courage to call him, I'd always chickened out last minute. I was such a menace.

But now that I was here and any minute, I would see him in flesh for the first time in almost two months, I was thrilled and nervous at the same time. My mind was everywhere. My heart was in my throat.

Nang makapasok na kami, an old song from Russell Hitchcock played softly in the air.

"I've dance alone a thousand times

To songs that no one else could even hear

I've reached into the flame of love

I couldn't hold it

And it disappeared

I've lived to learn to hate the blues

I've lived with everything but you"

Halos hindi ko malulon ang aking laway. Kabadong-kabado ako. The place was huge, but I didn't expect to see only few people here.

Children were playing at the corner with their grandad, Senyor Arturo Salvatore. Bea was standing close beside them with her mother-in-law, Senyora Leonora. They stopped at what they're doing when they looked at our direction.

Three men in their expensive dinner suits were facing the beautiful garden and discussing something when Romano noticed us first. He smirked as he patted Alejandro. Ininguso ni Romano ang direksiyon namin. Tuluyan silang humarap sa amin na may mapanuksong ngisi sa labi.

Malakas na siniko ni Alejandro si Matteo kaya napalingon ito sa kapatid.

His mouth moved and I could read his lips when he said 'what the hell' to his brother. I almost grinned at his annoyed expression.

Alejandro inclined his head to us. Matteo turned around to finally faced the entrance—to finally see me.

"I can't believe my eyes

I see you here

Lookin' just the way you should

Ooh

So good, it's too good to be true

I lived my life

To be lyin' here with you

ooh

I can't believe my eyes"

I didn't know how long we stared at each other until Matteo made a step forward. I swallowed the lump behind my throat. I knew I missed the man, but I didn't know how much until I saw him that I felt like he was just a fragment of my imagination.

Hindi ko napansin ang pag-alis ni Mira sa aking tabi, nasumpungan ko na lang itong yakap-yakap ni Romano sa gilid ng aking mata. Si Alejandro naman ay nasa tabi na rin ni Bea na nakapaloob sa kanyang yakap. The couples were smiling giddily at us.

Matteo took his time while walking towards me. Inalis ko ang aking tingin sa kanya dahil pakiramdam ko'y mauupos ako sa paraan ng titig niya sa akin. His facial expression was stoic, but his eyes were smoldering hot I felt like burning.

Tumigil ito ilang pulgada mula sa akin. He was looking down at me. I almost flinched when he placed his thumb and forefinger on my chin and tip my head up to meet his eyes.

Just like what the song conveyed, he looked good just the way he should.

I didn't know what to say. Should I say Hi? Hello?

"He—" I started to speak but he disrupted me.

"I don't like it." Baritonong sambit nito. "I don't like it." May talim sa kanyang boses.

Namutla ako. Hindi ko iyon inaasahan. Agad na nag-init ang gilid ng aking mga mata. I shouldn't be here. Hinawakan ko ang kanyang palapulsuhan para sana palisin ang kanyang pagkakawak sa aking baba.

"You lose a lot of weight, woman. I don't like it." He groaned as he momentarily closed his eyes. "Are you not eating well? What are you doing to yourself?"

"Matteo." Hindi ko alam kung saan at ano ang sasabihin.

"What are you doing here, Porsche?"

I took a deep breath as I looked him in the eyes. "Before you left, you told me to find my happiness. I am here because I want to tell you that I found it, Matteo. I found my happiness." I smiled. And for the first time in months, I smiled wholeheartedly.

Matteo was stunned. "God, I miss that smile of yours." He cupped my cheeks. His thumb stroked the side of my cheek so tenderly it made my eyes flutter. I lifted my hands to hold both his wrists.

"Tell me, cupcake, where did you find your happiness?" He gulped down as he lowered his face to me. The tip of his nose almost touching mine.

"I found it just now. He's standing in front of me, holding me close."

"Fuck." He finally pulled me to his warm embrace. I buried my face to his chest and smiled. "I can't believe you're here." He murmured above my head.

"Me, too."

"I hope you like our birthday gift, dear bro."

I didn't know who said that, but irruption of laughter filled our ears.

"Happy Birthday to me, indeed." Matteo chuckled but his embrace only tightened around me.

So this was what happiness truly felt like.

"I can't believe my eyes

I see you here

Lookin' just the way you should

Ooh

So good, it's too good to be true

I lived my life

To be lyin' here with you

Ooh

Still, when I see you lyin' here

I can't believe my eyes..."