The One That Got Away

Chapter Three - Memories

Addison’s P.O.V

I shot awake; why? Because that damn jackass was stalking my dreams once again. What seeing him last night was not enough, gotta add salt to the wound? I soon regretted sitting up as quickly because it made my pounding head spin. Why did I need to drink as much last night? Actually, I know why I was trying to block seeing Carson out of my head. How did I even get home? I was that wasted, everything after running into him was a complete blur.

I sat up, my eyes soon seeing a figure sleeping in the chair in my bedroom. What the f**k? Who the hell is that? I couldn’t have brought someone home with me and made them sleep there, could I? I don’t even know anymore, the last twenty-four hours have been too much, I can’t think straight. I slowly crawled off my bed, tip-toeing over. Probably not my smartest idea, he could be anyway. Then surely if he were dangerous, he would be sleeping on my damn chair.

Any fear soon turned to anger when I realised who it was. Carson! Why is he here? How dare he think he was allowed in my house?

“What the f**k are you doing here,” I hissed.

He jumped, nearly falling off the chair. If I weren’t as angry right now, I would probably have laughed.

“Someone has to make sure you got home safe, Addie,” He sighed.

“I can look after myself. I have got on just fine these last five years, I sure as hell don’t need anything from you now,” I snapped.

“Be pissed at me all you want, but I was doing the right thing.” He said, running his fingers through his messy hair.

“Whatever, you can leave now,” I said, with no emotion in my voice.

“Can we please talk?” He said softly, looking up at me with those damn eyes.

“Five years too late, now leave,” I said firmly, pointing to the door.

I don’t need to be around him any longer. He doesn’t deserve my time, and I don’t deserve to start hurting again. He shook his head, hesitating for a moment before getting to his feet. Carson turned, stepping into me, only a few inches between us.

“I know you hate me, Addie, I hate me too for what I did to you.” He said, “I am sorry, but believe me when I say, not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you.” He added before turning and walking away.

No, he can’t say something like that to me, he has no right. I decided this conversation wasn’t ending here. I was quick to go after him.

“You couldn’t have thought about me that much since you have not reached out, not once in Five years Carson. You left without a damn word.” I said.

“I know I am sorry. The hardest thing I ever had to do was walk away from you,” He said, looking me straight in the eye.

“Then, why did you?” I found myself, whimpering out.

“I never had a choice,” He said.

“Yes, you did, you could have stayed,” I said, feeling the tears brim in my eyes.

No, I am not crying again because of Carson, not again. He went to speak, but I wasn’t going to let him.

“Just leave, and don’t ever come back. You did it once, I am sure you will have no time doing it again,” I said.

Carson went to speak before any words could come out of his mouth. I told him to go and disappeared back into my bedroom. I closed my bedroom door, leaning against and found myself beginning to cry. DAMN IT! NO! I hear my front door close, telling me that he had left. How can this still be hurting after this long? I know why, because we had amazing times and he is the first and only guy I have ever truly loved, that is why it still hurts. I thought I was over all of this, how wrong of me to believe that.

I stripped out of last nightclothes, heading for a shower. I stepped in, slipping to the floor and sighed, letting the warm water run over me. I closed my eyes, the first day I met Carson coming to mind.

**** Five years ago ****

“What is all the buzz about?” I giggled as I sat down next to my friends in first class.

“Some new music teacher. He is meant to be young and sexy,” Piper smirked.

That would explain all the excitement around here. All the teachers we have were older and not very sexy. I laughed, rolling my eyes as everyone around me whispered, the girls giggling, eager to meet the new teacher.

They would be meeting him soon enough because first class was music. I sat, playing with my phone, not joining in the commotion around me. He can’t be that good looking, right.

“Good morning class, I am Mr Brooks. Sorry, I am a little late, I got lost.” He laughed.

All the girls were laughing along with him. His laugh got my attention, though, making me look.

“Oh My,” I said, louder than planned.

I have never seen such a beautiful man in my entire life. His brown eyes and dark hair were enough to make my stomach tighten.

“Everything OK?” Mr Brooks said, looking at me.

“Um, yeah,” I said, slouching down on my chair and feeling my cheeks heat up.

Mr Brooks chuckled and flashed his smile at me. Oh My, that smile! I swallowed hard, feeling the heat not only on my face but my neck too. What is wrong with me? He is my damn teacher! My gorgeous, young, charming teacher. I think the year ahead had just become more interesting.

*******

I was attracted to him the moment he walked into the classroom. I never imagined that day though we would have ended up falling in love and in a relationship for eight months. I felt the tears falling again. I wish there were a way to erase memories, erase people from your mind. Life would be much simpler if that were possible, don’t you think? I never understood why he was interested in me, to be honest. Obviously, he should have been at all, but he was, and I have never understood why. I wasn’t anything exceptional. I wasn’t the prettiest or the skinniest in my year. Why me? That is a question I still ask myself from time to time.

I stayed in the shower for an hour, memories of us running around in my head. Memories I have not thought about in a long time. I got my ass out of the shower, deciding to pull myself together. I am not that same girl I was five years ago. I still shouldn’t be getting this way because of him. I was a damn teenager anymore. I was a grown assed woman, and I need to start acting like one. No man is worth feeling this way, no matter how amazing he once was to me.

I decided the best place for me would be bed. I was hungover and exhausted. I grabbed the blanket that Carson slept with last night, his scent coming from it. He still wore the same aftershave, the aftershave that I got him into, Paco Rabanne. I took it in for a moment; I did miss that scent sometimes. I heard something hit the floor, and when I looked down, I saw a wallet. No, this can’t be happening. I picked it up, hoping it would be someones else, but let’s be real here, that isn’t going to happen because he is the only one that has been here.

It was laying opened when I picked up, getting a shock when I saw a photo of Carson and me. I remember that day well. We snuck off one Saturday to get away so we could be ourselves and not have to hide. It was one of the best days, the first time he told me he loved me. I can’t believe he still has this.

Yes, I have a box of memories hid in my closest of us, but in his wallet? That is a very personal place. Why would he still carry that around with him? I don’t know, and I don’t care, well I sort of do, but I will keep that to myself.

I never had any way to contact him, which meant Carson would need too come back here and get it once he realises it is missing. Great! I was hoping I would never have to see him again. I groaned annoyed, tossing his wallet back on the chair and climbed into bed. I needed to sleep, needed to stop thinking about him even for a couple of hours. I hope he doesn’t appear in my dreams again, or I may lose it.

Why did he have to show up again? It was like some sick joke! I don’t need this crap in my life.