The One That Got Away

Addison’s P.O.V I was sitting in a bar with all my favourite people in the entire, my six girlfriends. We were having a girls night, warming up before hitting the club. These were my favourite nights because we don’t get to do them as often now. Two of them were married, another worked away most of the time and one had a two-year-old. Out of all six of us, there was only Piper and I that was single. For me, that was by choice, for her? She loves being single and having fun; we were still only twenty-three after all. “Oh My God, you will never guess who we just ran into?” Piper said as she and Phobe came back with drinks. She seemed overly excited with whoever it was. “What hot guy did you run into now?” I laughed. “None other than Mr Brooks, damn that guy gets sexier with age.” She said in a purr. With the mention of that name I froze. No, he can’t be here, him of all people? “What?” I managed to stutter out. “Yes, he is at the bar with a couple of friends.” Piper smiled,” Do you think he has rules on f*****g ex-students because I would seriously love to jump that.” She added, shivering with the thought of it. “He seriously was the sexiest teacher in our entire school.” Lucy giggled, “I think every single girl had a crush on him; he was such a sweet guy too.” She added. Sweet? Yeah, sure he f*****g was! They wouldn’t be gushing over him if they knew the damn truth. I sat there, rolling my eyes. I don’t even want to think about him. “Maybe we should invite them over for a drink,” Piper smirked. He comes over I am gone. I don’t even want to see him because I may slap him one, or punch him. I sat there listening to them gush over him for the next ten minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore. “He was an asshole,” I said, getting up and storming off. I couldn’t take listening to it anymore. Mr Brooks broke my damn heart or should I say Carson as I came to know him, and I have never let myself fall in love since. I am sure if my friends knew the truth, they would have a very different opinion. The truth being? I had a relationship with him back in high school. As wrong as we both knew it was we connected from day one, there was something there and trust me, we tried to fight it. For a while we did, but then we ran into each other outside of school and went for coffee, that was when he first kissed me. I had just turned eighteen; he was twenty-one at the time. There was not much age difference between us, but the fact that he was my teacher meant nothing should have happened between us. From that first kiss, we started secretly seeing each. I fell in love with him quickly, because he was an amazing guy, well I thought anyway. We fell quick and hard, but the relationship itself was sweet and pure, we never had s*x, not once and we were together for eight months, we were saving all that until after I graduated, that never happened. Why? Because he got up and left, two weeks before I graduated, leaving nothing but a damn letter to tell me he was sorry. He never honestly told me the reason why he left. That was five years ago, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. It utterly destroyed me to the extent I went into a bad place for the next year. I never knew pain could be as bad until the day he disappeared. I have never truly got over it, it put me off relationships, and I haven’t had one since. I headed to the bar, making sure he was nowhere in sight before I did. I took a seat, motioning the bartender to me. “Three shots of tequila please and keep them coming,” I said. He nodded, getting me what I asked for. The three shots were gone in seconds, another three taking their place straight after. I planned on getting wasted, even if I have to do it alone. I can’t believe of all places; he was here. It was like some sick joke. The last I heard he had moved to a different state. “Another three please,” I said. “Addie, I think you have had enough.” I hear from behind me. I knew straight away who it was because he is the only person that can make my body respond the way it just did, and he was the only one that called me that. I hated when anyone else called me, but I always let him call me it. I liked the way it sounded from his lips. “f**k off Carson,” I snapped, refusing to look at him. I couldn’t risk getting lost in those damn beautiful brown eyes of his. They always had a way of making me entirely weak. I ignored him, telling the barman firmly to give me another three which he did and I drank them too. “What are you not even going to look at me, Addie?” Carson said, a sadness to his tone. No, he has no damn right to be sad. He was the one that left, not me! A wave of anger raged in me when he said that. I swung the barstool around to face him, ready to give him what for, but when my eyes fell on him, it felt like my throat closed up. Damn! He was even sexier than five years ago. Those eyes were even more gorgeous than I remembered, I found myself getting lost in them, the way I always used to. Then suddenly I snapped out of the trance he put me in. I don’t want him making me weak in any way, not anymore. “What the hell are you even doing here?” I snapped at him. “I moved back six months ago,” He said. “Well, you shouldn’t have! You should have stayed wherever the f**k you were.” I hissed. “Please, Addie don’t be like that.” He sighed, running his fingers through his thick, dark hair. “Be like what? I can be any way I f*****g want towards you! You left me without telling me an actual reason. What I do has nothing to do with you, you gave up that right when you ran away.” I said, “Now get the hell away from me, OK? I hate you, and I never want to see you again.” I added. “You don’t mean that beautiful.” He said, going to place his hand on my arm. I was not letting that happen, no chance! I was quick to push it away. I stood from the stool, standing in front of him. I looked him dead in the eye, no emotion on my face. “I meant every word, Carson. Now get out of my way. I hope I never see you ever again,” I hissed, barging by him. I never got far before he grabbed me, pulling me back to him. He turned me around, pulling me into him and holding me firmly against his chest, his hard, muscular, comfy chest. I used to love laying my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat; it always soothed me. My breath hitched in my throat with being this close to him again. Carson placed one hand on my hip, the other fell on my cheek, caressing my cheek. I closed my eyes over, swallowing hard. “Addie, I am sorry, baby girl. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.” He said softly. I slowly opened my eyes to look at him, the same look in his eyes when he looked at me, all those years ago. I am not letting him do this to me, no. “Don’t dare you call me that, you have no right. Good, I hope you carry that mistake around for the rest of your sad, pathetic life because you and I could have been amazing if you never turned out to be such a coward.” I snarled, pulling away from him abruptly, “Stay the hell away from me for GOOD!” I hissed before rushing off. If this happened a couple of years ago, I would probably have broken down by now, but no, I cried enough tears for him, I was not crying anymore. He was not worth it. I headed back to my friend, knowing he would stay away because they were there. “Where did you storm off too? Are you OK?” Piper asked. “It was nothing, yes, I am fine,” I said, flashing my best smile at her. “OK. One more round then we can head to the club?” She said, looking at us. We all agreed with that. The sooner we got out of here, the better. I could feel a pair of eyes on me, knowing they belonged to Carson without even looking. I turned to face him, finding him looking at me with a sad look on his face. He looked heartbroken; now he knows how I feel. I shook my head at him, turning away from him. I sighed to myself; he never even tried to get in contact, to make sure I was OK. Who does that to someone they apparently love? Five years and not even a single message. The day he left me, everything changed for me. I changed, and not all for the best. I put my parents through hell for a year after that, all because of what, him? I think what made things worse was that I couldn’t tell anyone why I was hurting. Looking back now, it all seems pathetic, but at the time, I wasn’t thinking straight. He was my first love, we spoke about our future, what our plans were for after I graduated, then he just up and left? I have not been the same since. Yes, as the years went on, I got better, but I don’t think that heartache truly ever went away. It was the best eight months of life. Carson made me feel like the only girl in the world, made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world too. It was true love; I would never deny that. I honestly think if he never left, we would still be together to this day. But he did go, and now we will never know what we could have been. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, thinking about it. I never wanted to cry any more tears over him, so I was quick to wipe them away before anyone noticed. I am done letting him ruin things for me; he took enough for me. I was going to forget all about him, go back to pretending like he doesn’t exist and enjoy my night. I would maybe find someone in the club to hook up with, make me forget about him. I don’t tend to do random hookups often, but I think tonight I may need it. Why did he have to show up? What did I ever do to deserve this? I looked back to where I last saw him, Carson, nowhere in sight anymore. With any luck, he has left, and I will never have to see him again. Actually, that is a lie; I will see him again because he still finds his way into my dreams from time to time. I knew a part of me still missed him, and I hated myself for that, but I think that is only natural, right? I think maybe it is time for me to try to find someone new, someone, that I will eventually let myself fall in love with. That is a matter for another time; tonight I wanted to let loose and have fun.