Flames In The Fire

FIVE

*Present Day*

John POV

I pull into the farmhouse to get ready for Ellie’s arrival. My mother, Missy, is waiting for me when I pull up. She comes out to the truck to greet me. I knew she would be here for Ellie.

“Hello, son, I thought you could use some help,” my mother says. Mother is getting older, but she has a lot of grit, and she loves Ellie. Honestly, I cannot think of a person that does not love Ellie.

“Home health is on its way with the things she will need. I do not know what you could do, but I am happy you are here, mom,” I say to her.

I get out of the truck. She hugs me so tightly. I begin to cry. I feel weak. I want to scream. The thought of living my life without Ellie is too much for me. “Let it out, son. You don’t want to be a mess in front of Ellie. We have to be strong for her,” Mother says.

“I know,” I say to her. My tiny mother holds me as I let out every ounce of pain I have held onto through this ordeal. The things Ellie and I have been through would bring an average couple to their knees. We have lost so much in our marriage, but one thing is always true we have loved one another.

Mother and I walk into the house. She has already started cleaning. I can smell pine in the air when I go into the door. Ellie always kept our home spotless. I, on the other hand, am a terrible housekeeper. Over the last three weeks, while she has been in the hospital, I have let the house go. Between work, the hospital, and trying to keep myself pulled together, I have not been able to bring myself to do anything. Thank goodness for mom.

“John, son, have you called her parents?” my mother asks, even though she knows the answer.

“No, I guess I should, but I want to wait on Ellie. Mother, you know how she feels about how they have treated her over the years since she married me,” I say.

“They need to know what is going on with their daughter. All of the bad needs to be in the past, Ellie needs everyone right now,” my mother says.

“I know, but you know I will not go against Ellie, no matter what,” I say.

Ellie has not spoken to her parents since Leah died. She has never forgiven them for not coming to the funeral, and I do not think she ever will. The way they acted when we got married was horrible, but to shun Ellie and not support her in the death of their grandchild, she will never forgive them, not even now at the end of her life.

“John, she needs to talk to her parents. Try to encourage her. They deserve to say goodbye to her if they choose too,” my mother says.

“Is Crissy coming?” I ask my mother, trying to change the subject. Crissy has always been close with Ellie. My sweet sister loves Ellie like she is her sister. Crissy has been with Ellie and helped her so much over the years.

“I talked to her earlier. She will be here tonight to help you. I thought I would cook something for Ellie, and we could spend time with her,” my mother says.

“She does not want us treating her like she is dying, and you know that, just be here for her but don’t go too far out of the way. She hates that, mom,” I say.

“I love Ellie. I am going to stay here with you until the end. I will try not to dote on her too much, but you know how much I love her and want her to be comfortable. I do not want her to have to worry about anything,” my mother says.

“Thank you,” I say.

“I set myself up in the guest room. I will stay out of the way,” my mother says.

“No, you won’t,” I say. The thought of my mother staying out of the way is laughable. She loves Ellie like a daughter. Since Ellie has been sick, she has endured my mother cooking, cleaning, shopping for her, and doing anything she thought was helpful. Ellie lets her and never fusses. Even when my mother rearranged the living room to make it more comfortable for Ellie, Ellie did not like it, but she thanked her and let it go. They are both headstrong, and damn they are just alike. Maybe that is why they get along so well. They are exactly alike.

“Home health is here with Ellie’s supplies. Do you want me to handle it?” my mother asks.

“Please, I need a shower before Ellie gets here,” I say to my mother.

“Go ahead, son. I will take care of everything,” my mother says, motioning for me to go ahead. I know she is worried about me. There is no need. I will be fine for now. In the day to come, not so much but for now, I am surviving.

I go into the bathroom and turn on the water. I need one more breakdown before Ellie gets here. I have so many decisions to make for her. She hates not being in complete control of her life. Who would have thought a love like ours would end up here.

I hear the hustle and bustle in the house as I try to shower and have a private moment to myself. There will not be many of these from now on, just an endless parade of people and nurses for Ellie. I need time with her, just us. I do not know how I will make that happen, but I will figure it out. I have so much I want to say to her before I lose her. I want her to know how she saved me from myself. I want her to know how much I love her before this is over.