Flames In The Fire

John POV “You are not listening to me, John. Ellie is sick. She is too sick for you to take home. It would be best if you put her in a long-term care facility. She needs round-the-clock care until she dies,” Dr. Joshua Newbern says to me sternly. I look over the wall of awards. He probably knows more than I do, but I know my wife, and I will be damned if I put her in a hospital to die alone.  “I said I am taking her home with me,” I say. Josh stares at me. I think he is stunned that I am refusing to do what he wants. “Listen, John; I have known you and Ellie for twenty years. I mean, we all went to high school together. I remember the day you two got together like it was yesterday. I have been here every step of the way for her. I am begging you to listen to me,” Josh pleads with me.  I shake my head. “I am taking her home, Josh, and that is final. That is what she wants to do, and that is what we are going to do,” I say. “She will not live long outside the hospital, and you know that, right? Will she consider staying a few more weeks?” Josh asks me.  “Ellie is headstrong and a fighter. You have no idea what she is capable of, and neither do I. She wants to go home, and that is what we are going to do. Please make the arrangements and discharge her,” I say. Josh takes a deep breath. “You will need home health, a nurse around the clock, and someone to sit with her. She cannot be left alone. How are you going to do this and be a cop?” Josh says. “I will figure it out. I will hire someone to stay with her. My insurance will pay for a nurse. We will work it out,” I say.  “John, I understand why, but I do not agree with it,” Josh says. “No, you do not understand. Your wife is healthy. My wife is dying. She is a beautiful young woman, and she is going to die. I want her to die where she wants to die and not in some damn hospital or long-term care facility with people she does not know. Ellie wants to go home, and I will make her last days perfect,” I say.  Josh starts scribbling on papers. “I will write the orders for everything she needs. John, if it gets bad, I want you to call me immediately, and I will come to her,” Josh says. “Thank you for everything you have done for Ellie,” I say. “Everybody loves Ellie. There are a lot of people who will help you with her. I do not see her living long outside of the hospital, and there are no treatments left for her,” Josh says. “I understand perfectly. It is what she wants,” I say. I walk out of his office and down the hall. I take the elevator up to the fifth floor. I want to cry, but I cannot right now. I have to have my brave face on when I see Ellie. I get off the elevator and walk to her room. When I reach room 5523, I take a deep breath and then go into the room. Ellie looks up and smiles at me when I walk into the room. “Is Josh going to let me leave this horrible place?” Ellie asks.  I sit down on the side of the bed. “Of course, he is going to let you leave. We are going home as soon as he writes all the orders for you,” I say. Ellie touches my face and smiles. “Thank you for not making me stay here, John. I want to go home and see my animals,” Ellie says. “Oh, I thought you wanted to go home to be with me,” I say to her. “Yeah, I guess you are a bonus. I need you too, but you don’t have a fur coat or a wet nose,” Ellie says. I have always said she loved her animals more than me. I know she misses all of them. Her rescue dogs and cats mean the world to her. She has been in the hospital for three weeks this time. Her best friend comes over every day to help feed them while I am at work. Ellie has the heart of a saint. I think that is why I do not understand why someone so special has to be so sick.  The nurse knocks on the door. “Mrs. Daniela Bradley, I have your meds,” she says. “Ellie, please, it is Ellie,” she says softly. “Sorry, Ellie, I have your meds. Dr. Newbern will be by with your prescriptions to take home and your orders,” the young nurse says. “Thank you,” I say to her.  Ellie takes her meds. I sit on the side of the bed. I know she will be sleeping soon. The pain medicine always knocks her out. She hates it, but without it, she does nothing but screams. It is unfair for someone who could dance the night away to be confined to a wheelchair. She cannot walk anymore. She cannot brush her hair without half of it falling out. I look down at her nails. Her nails were painted every day, and now they are brittle and cracked. Her beautiful glowing skin is replaced with scales from the treatments. No matter how she looks to everyone else, to me, she is the most beautiful woman on earth.  Ellie reaches out to hold my hand. “I love you almost as much as my animals, John,” Ellie says with a smile on her face. I laugh. “I love you too,” I say. I hold her hand until she falls asleep. I need to make some calls to get the house ready for her. Her health has deteriorated so much over the last three weeks we will need a hospital bed and a shower chair. I need a nurse for when I work to stay with her. I will give her everything she needs to live out the remainder of her life in our home. I want to make sure she has everything she needs.  I kiss her on the forehead. I love you always, my Ellie.