Journey to Utopia

12: Poisoned Memories

MY EYES wandered around the seashore under the dark sky with a bright crescent moon and twinkling diamond-looking stars. I have fallen asleep and now I'm in this place... which should be a nightmare, but I'm not in a forest. I walked along the shore until I reach a table set up for two. Whoever made this is such a classy and creative person.

Two women suddenly came but they ignored me and just went to the table like they couldn't see me. Am I invisible... again?! But whether I'm invisible or not isn't what's important... because I see myself right now!

What the hell is going on? Why does this woman look exactly like me?! The only difference we probably have is the outfit! Her face is... me.

"This is beautiful, Mama," she said, looking at the sea.

Mama...?

"Of course, my dear, but you are always more beautiful," the other woman replied. She looks familiar. It seems like I already saw her elegant face before. I stared and examined her face for a moment, trying to remember where I saw her.

Cold blood is all I have when I realized that she looks similar to the sketch in Eliza's diary.

They are done staring at the sea and finally sat down.

"What would you like to eat?" Eliza asked.

"Anything, Mama. As long as it's not poisoned," my look-alike slightly laughed, still with elegance.

Eliza laughed gracefully too then snapped her fingers and boom! Food magically appeared on the table! Wow! How is that even possible?!

"Too many..." my look-alike commented, seeing all the food in front of her.

"Eat up, dear. Do not starve yourself on your special day."

Woah. So it's her birthday?

"Thank you, Mama," a tear came out of her eyes. Eliza casually wiped out that tear like this is not the first time that happened.

They started eating just like normal people. I looked at Eliza who is obviously thinking about something despite being quiet. I looked at my look-alike as well who enjoys the food elegantly. That is our difference too. She's so elegant while I'm not.

If she calls Eliza 'Mama', then Eliza is the...

"I have been meaning to tell you, my dear..." Eliza spoke in the midst of eating.

"Tell me, Mama."

Eliza... she's the Mama mentioned by the masked man? Then this girl here is... Corvina?

Eliza sighed. "It's your birthday so I want to give you everything you want today. But what you asked yesterday..."

Corvina sighed too and stopped eating. I can feel the tension between them.

"Why? Why can't you give me my ultimate wish?" she sounds bitter and hurt.

There was a minute of silence before Eliza answered. "You know the reason."

"No. I don't believe that." Corvina suddenly stood up. She didn't even finish her food! I wish I could eat some.

"Corvina," Eliza called with a stern voice like she is starting to get angry. Confirmed, she's Corvina!

Corvina stopped moving upon hearing Eliza's voice. A while ago, they were so sweet to each other but now, fire is forming between them.

"Are you still fooled by that man? Or you just convince yourself to believe him?"

It is so obvious that Corvina is bothered by that question.

"You just don't know him that much..." she replied with a mix of hardness and sincerity.

Eliza let out a deep breath and stood up too. "No, my dear. I know him... very well."

Tears started to form in Corvina's eyes and flowed down after just a few seconds. The way she cries reminds me of myself.

Why is she crying, anyway?

"Dear... don't cry for him..." Eliza looks worried.

So this is about f*******n love or something?

Eliza approached Corvina and hugged her. Fortunately, they didn't end up fighting because my mind would be in complete chaos. More and more questions will be added to my mind. I am not even sure if I can handle everything that I will be discovering soon.

Wait, I think I was wrong.

"Would you let me now, Mama? This is my only wish..." Corvina's voice was full of hope.

Eliza had a long deep breath and shook her head. "No... he's evil, my dear. And I would--"

"Stop." Corvina stepped backward with visible disappointment. Her tears were gone and her eyes became dark. It looks like she would do everything for whoever that man is, even if her Mama doesn't agree.

I'm sure Eliza has a valid reason. I have read the first few pages of her diary and I can really see that she loves Corvina so much.

"I love you, Mama, but stop insisting that he's bad because he's not."

I don't know that man but whoever he is, he's so lucky to have a girl like Corvina who is willing to fight for him. But when Corvina is the one being judged, is he willing to fight for her too?

"Romance does not exist here, my dear."

"But again and again, he's not evil!" Corvina yelled. Eliza was obviously not pleased but she wasn't surprised either. "Did he do anything, Mama? Why are you--"

"Yes, he did something." Eliza looks and sounds so serious but elegance is still in her. She doesn't shout, unlike Corvina.

"He already tried to kill you twice, my dear... You just didn't realize it. He's part of the evil. I'm the one they really want but now, you too. Go away from him... unless you want to be trapped in the darkness forever."

Eliza went back to her seat after that and continued eating casually. As in, she's back to normal like nothing happened! How was she able to do that? Even I myself received a hard hit from her words. Meanwhile, Corvina is still standing, looking at her Mama with eyes full of emotions to the point where I could not determine what she really feels right now.

"Come here, my dear. Eat while watching the stars." Eliza called Corvina because she was just standing there, but now she has come back to her senses. Eliza smiled when Corvina finally went back to her seat. "I have a story..."

It was evident in Corvina's eyes that she was alerted upon hearing that. Me too, actually. I wanna hear Eliza's story. I bet it is a tragic or dark tale!

"This is about the Tale of--"

Just when things are getting more exciting, the surroundings started glitching! I was stunned at everything I see right now. But after a few seconds, the glitches were gone and I'm now in a completely different place. Full moon, a flower, silhouettes of a man and a woman. Everything changed except for the dark sky full of stars.

I went closer to them but then suddenly, everything glitched again! I successively went to a lot of places but I wasn't able to sink them all in my mind because they all glitched almost as soon as I arrived there. This is a headache.

EVERYONE IS excited for the Black Gala tomorrow. I don't know if I should be excited too. I'm thinking of another thing, my dream last night. It was not a nightmare. I just watched them and listened to their conversation but I honestly didn't do anything there.

My head suddenly ached so I touched it. There were suddenly some blurry figures I saw in my mind. I wasn't able to sink in what those figures are because it was too fast. However, I'm having a guess about this thing happening to me. I just don't mention it but I often experience sudden headaches and see something in my mind.

I really don't fully know myself. But I think... those are memories. How come I don't remember them? That is what I can't explain.

"Hey, you're not listening again!" Naomi ranted. I sighed and finally looked at her to listen to whatever she's saying.

She grinned. "Okay, so I was asking what do you wanna wear in the Black Gala..."

"Uh, anything," I simply answered, showing no interest.

"Wow..." she sighed. "You're amazing. You're not excited at all," she slowly shook her head. "But I bet if you experience it, you'll always crave for it."

"Why? Have you experienced it already?" I asked with my brows furrowed and she immediately said yes.

I looked at her in disbelief. "What the hell... So you are here for... o-over a year?!"

She nodded again.

I mean... what the hell! Really! She's been in this damn place for over a year?! How the hell did she survive?!

"Hmm... you look shocked," she commented. "Anyway, let's go back to the outfit. Why do you wanna wear?"

"Anything," I repeated.

"Stop saying anything!" She looks stressed just because of an outfit. "Okay, what's your favorite color."

"I... I don't have any."

"What? Unbelievable! Okay, what about your favorite... animal?"

"I don't have any too."

"Gosh, Amara! You're not normal!" She's sighed. She stopped speaking for a moment, thinking about something.

Natalie arrived and immediately approached Naomi. They look like... sisters. But they said they're not.

"The theme is the Zodiac signs!" Natalie giggled. I've been waiting for this! I'll be the most beautiful Gemini!"

Naomi laughed. "And the most hated too!"

Natalie glared at her but immediately smiled as she looked at me. "How about you, Amara? What's your Zodiac sign?"

"Aries," I simply answered.

"Oh," she nodded with a hint of confusion. "Wait, I don't remember the dates for Aries haha! When's your birthday?"

"April 26..."

They both looked at me in shock like I said something controversial. I knew it. They would react this way.

"Hey, you're not lying, are you?!" Naomi.

"Holy crap, that's the same day as Black Gala!" Natalie.

Aside from my birthday and name history, they ended up asking me about what's happening to me here in Utopium. Here comes Naomi. He mentioned Ivan and Blue. And there's someone new, Dave...

"I actually have a crush on the Son in Power," she whispered. Oh, wow, that was unexpected... But I just nodded and didn't take it as a big deal. "What? No reaction at all?

I looked at her in confusion. "Uhm... what am I supposed to react?"

"Jealous or something like that!" She looked disappointed. "But anyway, I'm glad you don't like anyone here romantically. That's safer."

It immediately caught my attention. "What? Why?"

She sighed, "Well, you see, you're still new here and have a lot yet to know... so let me tell you this. Though I'm not completely sure if this is true, there are rumors and stories here about the Black Gala. They said that decades ago, there was a woman who liked a guard and they got killed on the gala to warn everyone of unrighteous relationship... but that wasn't unrighteous at all!"

I raised a brow. "Then why do you like Dave?" I asked and she just looked at me. "I mean, the Son in Power!"

"Oh gosh, why would you call him by his name" she shook her head. "Anyway, ew. I don't like anyone here. I was just testing if you'd get jealous or something but you did not."

I softly laughed. "There's no reason for me to feel that way..."

"I CAN eat anything... for free?!" Corvina asked the vendor once again. I understand her, actually. If I'm in her position, it would be hard to believe that someone is letting me have something for free. After all, I lived in a world with a lot of greedy people making you pay for almost everything, even those that are not yours.

Corvina is not wearing her usual elegant dress as a sign of nobility. She's now dressed up as a peasant and I don't know why. Maybe she's bored?

"Yes, young lady! We peasants always share food with each other! And you're one of us... do not be shy."

Corvina thanked him a lot and she proceeded to the most important part, eating. She was just happily eating the food and drank some water when she suddenly spit it out. What the hell's happening?! She held her neck and everyone started to come to her. Of course, I also went closer to her but I couldn't do anything because I can't touch her.

I want to help her, I swear. But right now, all I can do is watch her suffer.

***