Unbreakable

6. Suprise

*TRIGGER WARNING; Suicide*

I couldn’t breathe. My lungs were on fire staring out the window of this car.

In front of me stood a stunning house. It was all white with black accents.

My hand trembled as I reached for the door handle, forgetting to unbuckle my seatbelt in the process. Brody climbed out of the car, rushing to my door, and offering his hand to help me out. My stomach was starting to look like I had swallowed a basketball and moving freely was growing difficult.

Once out of the car, it felt more real. The house itself felt like it was alive and staring at me. The windows were like eyes, judging my every move.

‘It’s a surprise. You’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out,’ Nico’s voice filled my head, causing a chill to creep down my spine despite the warm, humid air surrounding me.

This was the surprise that he wanted to show me. He had a house built for us. The only thing left was the future, which was now shattered like a broken mirror, the pieces scattered so far that there was no finding all of them again. I would never have that future. And it brought me feelings of anger and despair. I think I would actually rather be drowning in the literal ocean that seeing this in person. But in my heart, I know they probably feel very similar.

“Do you want to walk through with someone?” Brody leaned down, whispering in my ear.

My lip trembled, “I.....Can I go myself for right now?”

“Link if you need anything,” he smiled, walking me up to the front door and pulling a key from the flowerpot next to the front door.

The house had the most beautiful wrap-around porch, stained in a deep, shiny black that contrasted against the white house. Three white rocking chairs sat overlooking the front yard. I stood with my hand on the handle of the front door, staring at the chairs. Picturing the three of us sitting there with coffee, watching the sunrise.

A picture that will never have a chance to come to life. Those rocking chairs would forever remain empty. Unable to feel the rumble of Nico's deep voice. Or the electricity of Sam's touch.

Forcing myself over the threshold, my heart actually stopped. I felt it. The beating ceased as I stared above the fireplace mantle.

There was a beautiful painting of Nico, Sam, and I sitting on the picnic blanket from our first official date. My head leaned on Nico’s shoulder while Sam’s arm was snaked around my body. I remembered that moment like it was yesterday. It was beautiful and everything felt so.... perfect. It was the night this dream came alive. The painting was done to pure perfection. Painted in black and white, but despite being done with a brush, it appeared like a photo.

In the corner of the photo, Wes’ name was scribbled.

The pain that I felt in that moment was indescribable. My legs gave out, and I collapsed to the floor, my eyes never leaving the painting.

‘Baby girl, this is all for you,’ Nico’s voice filled my head at the same time as a tiny kick rippled through my stomach.

“Please stop. I can’t do it anymore. I am fighting with everything in me to keep going. To wake up every day. And I just.....don’t know how much more of this life I can take without you in it. Without Sam. It’s not fair.”

My words go unanswered as I continue to stare. How did he get Wes to create such a masterpiece? Where did he find the time to do all of this?

Nico was so mysterious and closed off, but deep down, he had the biggest heart. He just hid it from the world. From me. When we spoke about this house, he didn’t miss a single detail. Somehow, he knew everything that I would have liked and wanted even without me saying it. The house was stunning, and I couldn’t have handpicked anything better.

Walking through, the kitchen was massive, with an island in the center. Everything was black and white with pops of emerald, green and gold. The same colors as Sam’s eyes.

I ran my hand along the cool, granite countertops. They were white with swirls of black and tiny gold flecks. Part of me wondered how often they would lift me onto this countertop. Making sure every surface didn’t go untouched with our love making.

I silently wondered if Sam ever got to see this, or was it supposed to be a surprise for him too? The thought had a new wave of sadness surging throughout my body.

The bedroom had a bed larger than anything I’ve ever seen and an attached bathroom, with not only a large walk-in shower, but a bathtub that would easily fit all three of us.

I stopped my trek to the tub, staring at my reflection. I hated myself. The mirror showed Brielle Graff, but I knew what was hiding underneath my skin. My blue eyes lacked life, staring at me with an almost zombie-like expression. The dark bags that had deepened around my eyes were a reminder of the haunting dreams that I was experiencing nightly. Even my bright, blonde hair was lackluster. The woman in the mirror looked like me, but I didn’t know who she was anymore.

Climbing inside the large tub, I began sobbing. My head fell back onto the edge of the tub, sliding down on the cool, porcelain. I stared at the ceiling, thoughts of filling this tub slowly and remaining beneath the surface of the water until I took my last breath flitted through my mind. It was so appealing and, to be honest, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could fight these feelings.

My demons were loud and clear, begging me to listen. Nico was in my head, but they were sitting on my shoulder. Pleading with me to just do it. Why fight the pain to keep going when you could live in blissful peace with death?

Turning on the water to a scalding hot temperature, it began licking my skin just like tiny, wet flames. I watched it rise slowly, enjoying the burn that it left on my skin. My clothes grew damp quickly, clinging to my body tightly. I refused to look at my bump. It was the only thing that had kept me going this far, but it just didn’t feel like enough any longer.

The tub was nearly overflowing by the time I decided to slip under the surface. Opening my eyes, I welcomed the sting in my eyes from the hot water. The water rippled on the surface, blurring my vision as I stared at the ceiling.

‘Baby girl, why are you making yourself suffer?’ Nico questioned.

‘You are the one making me suffer. This....this will finally bring me peace.’

‘Your death will bring no one peace,’ Sam’s voice filled my head.

I gasped, sucking in an entire breath full of water. It was the first time that I heard his voice. My lungs burned as the liquid settled within them. But it was....nice. Feeling something. Anything was better than feeling nothing at all. I’ve felt so numb for the last few months, so I persisted. Feeling like I might finally be free.....

Just then, I felt hands grab both of my arms, pulling me out of the water. The sound of my coughs as I choked on the water that I had inhaled filled the space.

“Brielle, what happened?” Brody questioned; his voice laced with pure fear. I had forgotten that he was even outside waiting for me.

“I.....I don’t know,” I choked out, though I knew exactly what I was doing.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You are fully clothed, under the water in an overflowing bathtub. Please don’t tell me what I’m thinking....” his voice came out as a choked whisper.

He didn’t want me to tell him what he was thinking, so I remained silent, allowing the reality of what I was about to do to settle in.

“You were, weren’t you?” Brody questioned in disbelief. His breath hitched as he stared at me, waiting for my answer. Tears glistened within his impatient eyes.

“You don’t understand what this is like, Brody. You don’t understand what I go through every day, simply waking up and trying to push through every day. I’m tired of fighting and to be perfectly honest..... I wish it would all just end.”

Brody’s eyes glassed over as he stared at me in shock. I had just confessed his fears.

“But what about.....” he stopped, pointing to my stomach.

I closed my eyes, feeling fresh, warm tears fall, “I wasn’t really thinking about them.....”

His hand rubbed roughly over his face, “Brielle, please. Let me help you.”

I gritted my teeth, “You can’t help me!” I snapped, “No one can help me. They are gone and they’re never coming back. They left me with a f*****g forever reminder of the wound that I’m left with. One that can never heal. I wake up every day, wishing that I didn’t. It would be so much f*****g easier, Brody. All of the pain that I feel, it would all be gone, if I was just brave enough to make that decision.”

As the words leave my mouth, I feel in my heart that had he of not showed up when he did, my bravery would have easily been enough this time.

“The only thing that would do is pass that torch on to someone else. What do you think it would do to Bailey if you were gone? If she lost both of her parents and her sister?” he muttered, sounding exhausted.

“I don’t care anymore!” I screamed, “I don’t f*****g care. I just want to stop the pain.”

“Can I be selfish and tell you that I need you? That I need you to keep going. That I need those two little peanuts that I’ve fallen in love with to keep going. Without you guys, I am nothing,” he whispered, his chest heaving with every breath.

I didn’t know what to say. My guilt was fresh, because I didn’t think of anyone else at that moment. I just thought about how easy it would be to numb the pain. Forever.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, shame twisting like vines in my stomach. I had just considered taking my life, while two innocent lives hung in the balance. They would have been taken with me, and no matter how I was feeling, that wasn’t fair.

Despite knowing this logically, I could still hear those tiny voices, urging me to just do it.

Brody climbed into the tub, ignoring the fact that he was fully clothed, and pulled me towards him. My back laid against his chest, “Let me help you, Brielle. I don’t know how yet, but don’t leave. Don’t give up. I promise you," Brody choked out, "That I will do everything in my power to make sure you never feel alone. The pain is temporary. Your death is forever.”

I relaxed, taking breaths to try and level my racing heart. My lungs still held a lingering burn from the water that I had inhaled. Brody’s arms wrapped around my body, resting between my growing bump and the underside of my breasts. He held me like he needed to know I was safe. A promise that he would keep me safe.

“I can’t be here....in this house.”

“Then let me take you home,” he whispered.