Unbreakable

3. Making it real

I sat on the edge of this dreaded table, in the same place that I woke up, finding out that I was pregnant in the first place.

Nervously picking at the skin around my fingernails, I anxiously waited for the doctor to come check me out and give me the all clear and send me on my way.

“You’re going to make yourself bleed,” Brody hissed, grabbing my hand and stopping me from tearing at my skin any further.

I narrowed my eyes at him, not appreciating his stopping me from my nervous behaviors.

This appointment was my first actual prenatal appointment and the entire thing brought me nothing but dread. I put it off as long as I possibly could, but between Brody and Bailey, they basically forced me to come here and at least receive a basic checkup.

A soft knock at the door distracted me long enough to make me forget about my irritation with Brody. The same doctor that I saw waking up walked in with that same stupid smile spread across her face.

“Good afternoon, Alpha, how are you feeling?” she questioned.

Terrible. Awful. Like I’d rather be dead over walking and breathing through the pain every single second of every day. I’m not going to tell her that, because the last thing I need is her to put me in a pair of grippy socks.

“Fine.”

She nodded, that smile still plastered on her face.

“Great. Your labs all look great. I need you to lay back and place your feet in these stir-ups. Afterwards, we will do a quick ultrasound and you’ll be on your way,” she spoke quickly, pulling the tiny feet holders out and grabbing some instruments from a drawer.

“Is the ultrasound necessary?”

“We need to make sure the pregnancy is progressing as it should be. As long as babies are healthy, I will have you on your way in no time,” she chirped.

My heart rate quickened to a point that I didn’t think was possible. I haven’t felt it truly beating in what felt like a lifetime, but here I sit, alive and well, about to see Sam and Nico’s pups. Anyone on the outside would think that my heart racing was from excitement, but they would be wrong. I was terrified. Seeing their tiny hearts beating, seeing them fluttering around made this that much more real.

I didn't want this to be real.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I scooted down to the edge of the table, quickly placing my heels within the stirrups and allowing the doctor to do what she needed to do. I stared at the ceiling, ignoring the pressure in my pelvis.

“Everything feels normal. I will have the nurse set up the ultrasound machine. Congratulations again, Alpha,” she smiled, leaving me alone once again.

“Are you okay?” Brody questioned.

I turned my head to the side, looking into his steel gray orbs, and nodding, “Mhmm.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he whispered.

“What do you want me to say Brody? My truth is depressing.”

He frowned, “I’d rather hear your truth, no matter how dark it is, than a lie.”

Sighing, I reached out, and he grasped my hand tightly, “I appreciate your concern, but this moment is not one that brings me any joy. I’m terrified to see their tiny heartbeats because it makes this entire thing that much more real.”

“Can I be happy enough for the both of us?” he whispered, a flicker of emotions swimming in his eyes. I’m not sure why he would be happy. Maybe he likes kids? I don’t think that either of us have honestly had a deep and meaningful conversation into the bigger pieces of our lives.

I would have to change that. Brody has quickly become my rock. My closest friend. He’s there any time that I need him, and I can’t put into words how exactly that makes me feel.

Another soft knock at the door distracted me from my thoughts, a new nurse popping her head through the door, followed by a machine on wheels.

Once again, my heart started racing like an engine within my chest. Its beating the only sound I could hear in this room. The nurse’s mouth was moving, but I heard nothing that was coming out.

“Alpha, can you hear me?” she spoke loudly, forcing my attention on her.

I nodded slowly, still not sure what she had said prior. My anxiety was through the roof. The room started to feel incredibly small, though it was a suite specifically designed for an Alpha. Everything was nicer and larger than the rooms made for everyone else, but right now, the walls were slowly closing in on me. Making me feel trapped.

“Perfect, I’m going to squirt this warm jelly over your stomach so we can see these pups,” she smiled brightly. It was clear that she loved her job. I longed for the joy that she felt right now. She was happier for me than I was happy for myself.

The warmth of the jelly startled me, despite her warning of it coming. Brody scooted his chair closer, lacing his fingers with mine as he expectantly stared at the screen. I found a tiny spec on the ceiling that appeared to be a spider, and followed it, not daring to glance at the screen.

The nurse was chattering away about placenta’s and fraternal versus identical twins, but I was trying my damnest to tune her out, just following the spider as its tiny legs carried it across the ceiling.

The sound of a tiny heartbeat blaring through the speakers on her computer caused my head to snap to the right. Thump, thump, thump. The noise placed me in some form of trance and I couldn't tear my eyes from the screen. I felt Brody’s hand tighten around mine, but my eyes remained glued to the screen watching the little spikes from the first heartbeat before the wand moved to the left. A new, slightly slower heartbeat thumped through the speaker.

My breath hitched as I stared mindlessly at the screen.

Those little heartbeats were alive inside of me. Growing.

‘Caspien and Talulah. We can call them Cas and Lulu for short,’ Sam’s voice replayed in my head.

A single tear slid down the side of my face as I desperately tried to breathe.

‘Aspen, I know you’ve been keeping them safe. Thank you.’

I received no response, not that I expected one. She was hurt, angry, and broken. A wolf, after losing their mate, typically dies of a broken heart. She lost two. As much as it hurt me, her soul was literally ripped to shreds. She is so weak now, I can barely feel her. But I know that she’s been using what little strength she had to keep our pups safe.

“You appear to be about three months along, Alpha. Your pups are growing just as they should, and everything looks healthy. I want to monitor you more closely moving forward since you are carrying two pups, and not one. Daddy, do you want to hold onto these photos?” she smiled at Brody.

I think my heart physically stopped beating when she said Daddy. My eyes met Brody’s as a blush crept on his cheeks, visible even in this dimly lit room.

“I’m just a friend, but I will take the photos for now. Thank you,” he smiled at her.

I missed Brody’s annoying comments. As much as I hated to say it, Nico and Sam’s death changed him too. He used to be so bright and airy. His presence was always fun, as he tried to make everyone laugh and lighten the mood. Since they’ve been gone, I’ve not heard him crack a single joke. A tiny part of me hoped that he would make some joke about him being ‘Daddy’ but I was let down, not that I should have been.

There has always been a conflicting piece of my heart that beat solely for Brody. Before all of this, I had started to see him. Like, actually see him. I could feel that he felt for me beyond that of a friend. And his jokes didn’t feel so much like jokes anymore. They were just his way to lighten the fact that he’d fallen for happily mated people.

He even made it known of his attraction to Nico..... and Nico’s attraction to him.

A new set of tears sprung into my eyes at that loss.

I sat up on the little bed, realizing that the nurse had left at some point, leaving me and Brody sitting here alone, though he said nothing. Allowing me to continue to mindlessly stare at the ceiling for a little longer.

“Were you going to tell me she left?”

He shrugged, “You looked like you were a little lost. I was too,” he smiled, waving the little black and white strip in front of me.

My eyes zeroed in on the tiny photos, seeing little shapes that looked like tiny babies. Arms and legs sprouting from their little, tiny bean-shaped bodies. On a few, there was the strip at the bottom showing the spikes of their heart beats.

I greedily grabbed the photos from him, finally deciding that I needed to look at them. See them. Let the realization settle in that this was actually happening. I had two lives growing inside of me. The final pieces of Nico and Sam. Their legacy would live on within these two tiny souls.

“It’s kind of amazing, isn’t it?” Brody questioned; his eyes glued to the little papers.

“Yeah. I'm not sure it feels entirely real yet,” my eyes travelled down, looking at the growing bump that was now my stomach.

“Do you mind?” Brody questioned, hovering his hand towards my stomach.

I shook my head, unable to find the words to say.

His hand met my skin delicately, as he leaned forward, a smile spreading on his face, “I....uhm.....have never spoke to a baby before. I don’t know what to say if I’m being honest, but I want you both to know that Uncle Brody will always be here. No matter what. Your mommy is going to have to get used to me being up her ass for the rest of her life,” he whispered, causing me to giggle.

“Was that a laugh?” he questioned, eyes wide.

My cheeks heated and I rolled my eyes.

“Brielle Graff, that is almost the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in months,” he whispered.

I furrowed my brows, “Almost? What’s the first?”

He dangled the photos in front of me, “The sound of these tiny heartbeats.”