Rent a christian boyfriend

She was so indenial

I purposely woke up earlier than her so i could watch her sleep and feel like the luckiest jerk in the world. She actually wanted me? This beautiful woman wanted me! She had not said it back as in 'Ich liebe dich' or 'I love you' but i respected that. I respected that she was still thinking about this as much as i was and figuring it out. Deep down, i knew this was just an excuse... figuring what out you may ask? I was well aware that i wanted Leona in every way possible but then there was Debby. My feelings for her were mutual maybe when i actually see her all my feelings will just come right back or not. Maybe not, maybe i just want to be with Leona then there's the thought that I felt this way about Leona because I was lonely? Felt needy? I honestly don't know.

I was a confused cockroach and i was just dragging Leona into my pit of misfortunes. I am selfish enough to do that... selfish enough to not let her go be with someone who actually wants to stay with her... for as long as it lasts. Not someone who doesn't know what they want and still wants it all even if they can't have it all.

Last night.

We talked and bathed.

I washed her hair, I loved doing that. I love her hair, her smile when she thinks of something that excites her... it's so out of the blue and so damn beautiful. Her face just brightens up-

I smile out of no where.

She slept in the midst of our talks, i didn't mind sleeping with a boner for her sake. I found it weird that i enjoyed sleeping with Leona on her single bed rather my proper bed in the guest room. It was cozy and it gave no room for any distance between us meaning i felt every meander of hers and she felt every inch of mine. She fluttered her eyes open, for a minute.. i watched her being utterly confused till it finally dawned onto her. I saw a smile crawl on her lips at the thought of something she then frowned.

I became concerned.

"What's wrong Leo?" I was quick to ask.

I know, i know she had said she hated that question but i couldn't help it. My lips moved much quicker than any thoughts i could fathom. She worried me, was she having second thoughts about us? That absolutely scared me. Did she want to talk about Debby because that would just ruin the mood. Did I do something wrong that I can't seem to remember? Jesus Christ! I hate feeling this way and acting like her every reaction doesn't bother me is probably the hardest part of all this. Putting up my 'I don't give a f**k stance' when she could literally tell me to jump off a bridge and-

I would.

Without a doubt, I know I would.

"I.."

She was speaking too slow for my liking, that's when the thought came to mind.

Tell her you love her.

I love you Leona.

I love you.

I didn't know how this thought came to mind and it made me shiver with fear. I knew it had to be wrong, I couldn't accept it... no I'm just in panic mode. I don't know what to think at this point, I probably didn't get enough sleep because-

"I did something and you're probably going to hate me for it." Leona turned to look at me. I understood what she was saying but I couldn't deny that she was a such a wave of fresh air. Waking up next to her absolutely made me weak. It was the second best thing after our s*x, after 'our s*x' because it was oddly different for me than the usual I have had with any other girl.

"It doesn't matter." I muttered, not really caring what she wanted to say because I wanted her to lay back on my chest. She fluttered her beautiful green eyes showing distress. I huffed knowing she wouldn't let this go, whatever it was!

"It does." She said putting her plump lips in a thin line. I laid my hand on her cheek in a comforting manner. "We're figuring this out and I think we should be honest because honesty is key above everything. I feel really bad for doing what I did but I didn't think you would open up to me-" she blubbered. It was all just confusing for me but-

"Calm down and just tell me what's wrong." I said softly, pulling her close so I could lay a chaste kiss on her lips. She immediately softened into my embrace. I loved having this effect on her body.

"I talked to... Luka."

I blinked waiting for her to correct that maybe I heard wrong.

"My brother?" I asked calmly.

"Yeah.." she replied, fear flashed through her eyes. A part of me felt bad because I never wanted her to be scared of me. I would never hurt her well not exactly physically but I would never hurt her. She obviously expected me to blow up at her like our previous arguments. I had to prove to her that I could be attentive and less dramatic.

"Why?" I calmly asked, she looked down at my chest.

"I didn't think you would ever open up to me and I was curious so I stole... his number from your phone and spoke to him." She said with a more or less remorseful voice.

"Did he tell you what you wanted to hear?" I gave out a dark chuckle. I couldn't suppress my anger at this point. "Then you had the freaking nerve to pretend like you didn't know anything when my dumbass was telling you everything." At this point I pulled away from her, standing up in my boxers and pacing around the room.

"I didn't know everything." She protested.

"Whatever!" I said. I always said this whenever I felt defeated and somehow pushed people away.

"Eric..."

"Don't touch me Leona.. just don't!"

I suppose I was being bipolar at this point but I just always thought I was the shady one and she was the pure innocent one.

"He didn't tell me everything. He just told me a bit and well he says he is coming to visit for your birthday.." She said quickly and my mouth was left ajar.

"Wow, thanks a lot for the freaking surprise of the century."

I could never filter my words.

My mouth just ran..

"Tell him, I don't want to see his face not now not ever." I exclaimed.

"He... seems excited. I can't do that." She said heaving out a sigh. I just wanted to go and hug her and tell her I don't care but I did care! I cared that she lied and went through my things, what else did she know? What Facade does she pull when she is with me?

"How do you feel about me Leona?" I abruptly asked.

"I-I-" she stuttered looking at the grey carpet.

"So you let me make a fool out of myself yesterday. When I clearly told you there was a possibility that I felt a certain way about you.."

"That doesn't mean anything." She retorted and I was surprised that where did the attitude suddenly come from.

"It freaking does and you go around making a fool out of me!!"

"Making a fool out of you how exactly?" She said confidently. "You have a girlfriend, your childhood sweetheart who you plan on going back to and I'm not going to bother competing with that. I was just here falling for a guy who I knew nothing about and he wouldn't tell me anything so.. I did what I had to do. I'm sorry if it hurts you but it's whatever honestly Eric. I'm okay with this and the way things are. We don't need to figure it out, it doesn't change the fact that this is just a fling and it will go away as quick as it came."

Rejection?

"You speak as if you know how I feel?" I said sarcastically.

"I don't and I don't wanna know." She said turning to leave the room simultaneously grabbing her morning gown.

"You're such a coward." I chuckled. "This is what you do every time, we turn to talk about how you feel about me... you act like you don't care but you do."

She turned to glare at me.

"You know what? You're just butthurt that I'm not willing to open my legs wide open for you everytime you butter me up with bullshit like 'let's figure it out, f**k my girlfriend, f**k Australia, let's have s*x Leona because you're really easy and I could really use a good lay right now'. You're just butthurt that I'm not willing to accept your advances as soon as they come. We both know that you could never be mine and that's okay. Can you let me look for what you and Debby have with someone else so we can both have happy endings! That's all I'm asking honestly and it's not much."

This riled me up, another man with Leona.

That hurt to think about.

It was true, above all.

"I'm sorry.." I said softly. "I'm just going to ask for one thing!" I said solemnly, she stared at me clearly waiting.

"I want a rightful chance just as much as you would give Nick or any other guy." I added, she rolled her eyes and that hurt.

"Eric just stop. We don't need to be doing this... stop making things complicated."

"You want me to stop trying? I won't stop. I want you just as much as these men do but they find you intimidating and won't approach you and I'm not going to sit here and pretend I don't."

I knew this conversation was becoming dreadful and exhausting.

"Why do you want me Eric? I'm not some trophy or some achievement. You already had me just leave me alone." She huffed.

"I had you... and in those moments that's when I was the most happiest.." I admitted, I saw her look away from me. She didn't believe me clearly.

"You're annoying.." She said softly, I knew I was getting to her.

"I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that." I step close to where she stood in her silk gown.

"We both lashed out." She said softly.

"You make me bipolar."

"No, I don't. You're just bipolar, period!" She laughed and I loved the sound of that.

"At least one of us is sane, I wouldn't want our kid taking after me." I said out of the blue making Leona clear her throat. I didn't realize, I had-

Woah!

I really said that.

Actually thought about-

"There won't be any kid so don't worry about that." She said turning to walk away but I immediately pulled her back against my chest. I knew she wasn't expecting that so when it happened she flinched.

"Are you sure about?" I questioned, she figured I was joking and let out a laugh. She just loved pushing me and the thought of us away. I suppose she did this as not to raise her hopes up.

"Yes, now let me go wake up the twins." She giggled when I lifted her body off the ground and laid her on back on the bed with me hovering on top.

"Well, I could just give you a kid right here... right now."

This made her laugh.

"No no no, can you stop-"

I sealed her lips with a kiss.

She tried pushing me away until she softened into my embrace and we started moving in synch. It was just getting good until we both heard some annoying light knocking on the door.

"CEREAL-" the little buggers yelled. I still wouldn't get off Leona. "TANTY LENA-"

"Tell them we're making them a little cousin to play with.." I said making Leona genuinely smile.

"You wish! Get off." She said and I hesitantly got off her. As she walked away, I just knew I was lying to myself if I thought Debby was everything I ever wanted in a soulmate.

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