She was so hurt
1170 Words
"You know Eva right?"
I nodded before realizing she couldn't see me, how stupid!
"Yes, of course. Dee." I replied trying really hard to be enthusiastic about this conversation but it just wasn't in me. I bailed myself by walking around the pool with one hand in my back pocket, kicking a few stones here and there. From afar, I could see Leona through the sliding door playing with the twins. It was a really cute scene, my heart warmed up to that. It felt like we were our own little family. It was like a trial on how we would somehow act as parents one day. I found it really weird that I was actually opening up to growing up. Growing up, finding my girl... and well-
Settling down.
Shit yeah, settling down.
I suppose when you meet someone who makes you feel a certain way, you just don't want to wait. You want everyone to know that they're with you and for a jealous freak like me; a f*****g huge rock on her finger would be the official it, to chase these perverts away.
"One of the guards made her pregnant. She was always put in solitary confinement so I just wondered for what and why but bloody hell, she was busy being balls in deep with the guard.." Debby paused. "Are you even listening Rickey?"
I shook these thoughts off as I faked yet another enthusiastic mood.
"Woah Dee, that's some loony s**t!"
"You're not listening are you?" Debby didn't buy it.
"I'm sorry Dee, just a tad bit distraction."
"Is it that b***h again, she is really taking her toll on you huh?"
I didn't like it.
Anger overwhelmed me as I looked back at the sliding door and the twins and Leo were waving at me. I smiled and waved back. They were baking muffins, I think.
"Rickey!" Debby called.
"No actually Leo is really nice." I defended.
"Oh my, she is now Leo not the so called spoiled brat."
I could tell I was creating a problem in hindsight.
"I didn't know her that well when I said those things, Dee."
"How well do you know her now Eric?"
I knew where this was going..
"Well enough to know she is a good person. She even borrowed me a ton load of money so I could pay off your brother. Clearly you didn't talk to him.." I huffed.
"I did and he won't listen." She explained.
"He would do anything for you so don't bullshit me like that Debora." I said in a frustrated voice, biting on my lower lip I remembered that I didn't have my lip ring.
"Ooooh.." Debby exclaimed. "She is now Leo and I'm Debora now? I see where this going too Ricardo." Debby said in a hurt voice, I felt bad.
"It's your f*****g name ain't it?" I replied, I couldn't count how many times I had rolled my eyes at her and thank goodness she couldn't see it because she always hated when I did that.
"You know I hate that name, I always told you. It's the first thing I told you Rickey. Remember when we had our first kiss on the trampoline and-" she paused. "You know what never mind, never mind."
I didn't say anything, I just breathed out.
"You know I don't have all day with the phone so please don't waste my time. I could be having this freedom that you have but I'm here locked up for you. I don't regret it, I never regret it because I love you Rickey and whenever I feel like I can't take the s**t food in here or when I have to take cold communal showers or when I get a black eye every week here and there trying to fight for myself. When I go back to my cell and look at the photo under my pillow of my buffoon Spanish lad who I love more than anything with that beautiful big smile of his, I know it's worth it."
I felt like a real jerk.
This was what I needed to get back in my right thoughts. I couldn't be with Leona.. I needed to get my priorities straight. Save up money for the life, I would later have with Debby. I had clearly lost it. Blinded by whatever that was. I felt like a d**k, lost all my priorities for some fun. I didn't get this job for fun, I got it so I could get my s**t together.
"I'm sorry Debby." I added.
"It's okay, I understand this must be hard for you as much as it is for me but always remember the promise we shared together when we were sixteen and got matching tattoos.." She chuckled, I remembered.
"My first tattoo." I smiled.
"Yeah... you were s**t scared, I had to hold your hand."
"Do you have to remind me?" I teased.
"I will never let it die!" She added. I smirked because that was one of her lines. She always said this at any given moment.
"Yeah.."
Awkward silence occurred because unlike Leona, I never knew what else to say to her. We hadn't seen each other in so long and the chemistry wasn't there anymore, if it ever was-
"Please talk to your brother.." I said softly.
"We share a lawyer so let me tell James to talk to him or I will just write him a letter then James will give him."
"Sounds like a plan."
"I love you Rickey, I gotta go."
Before I could even reply the line went dead. Discomfort is all I felt at this moment and confusion. I put my phone in my back pocket for a moment I just stared at the leafs that had fallen in the pool. One step, I could have stepped right into the cold freezing water, I was so disoriented. I didn't know what to do..
Walking back into the house.. Leo gave me the heartwarming smile that I loved.
"Everything alright?" She asked as she cleaned up the kitchen counter.
"Yes.." I said hesitantly.
"Debby?" She asked and I sighed.
"Partly."
"It's okay, you don't have to explain anything." I could see the hurt in her eyes even though she tried to hide it. I couldn't comfort her with lies at this point and time. I felt horrible for leading her on.
"Where are the twins?" I changed the subject.
"Uhm.. the dining w-watching s-some... r-random Netflix show.." she stuttered. I didn't miss the hurt in her voice. I decided to give her space when all I wanted was to hold her and comfort her but I couldn't because I would just be giving her the wrong idea and hurting her.
She turned to look at the sink, I noticed her quickly wiping a few tears away.
I was hurting her, in every imaginable way and didn't deserve her tears. I more than anyone knew that this jewel standing in-front of me deserved better.
- Writer
