Eight
1036 Words
I opened my eyes, feeling welcome by the broad daylight and the warmth of the fresh pure wind coming out from the window. I smiled as I felt the cold breeze brought by the wind is so good. It feels like it did not rain yesterday night.
I thought for a moment that what happened last was just a bad dream, but when I pinch her skin and I felt pain, that's when I realized yesterdays night happening wasn't a lie after all. And after that moment, I felt pain again. It struck my chest like a thunder.
A tear fell in my eye without me knowing that I'm already crying without any reason. No, there is a reason behind the tears that keeps on flowing down my cheeks. I try to wiped it dry but it just flows down so fast.
Then I laughed like a crazy mad woman. Yeah, maybe I must have gone crazy. Earlier, I was just smiling when I felt the cold breeze and here I am now crying all of the sudden.
I try to collect myself and stook from my bed. I've finally decided. Last night, when I was about to go to bed. I had a thought that came into my mind.
As long as I see Isaac everyday, I wouldn't be able to surpass the pain that he brought me. I would not be able to get through all the pain that I am currently feeling. And I don't think I can settle with pain every day. I might go crazy. I might lose my mind. And so, I decided to leave the country.
Yes, I will leave the country and will continue what my life will do to where I am going to. Because I don't thinking I can stay here any longer. Not when Isaac is still coming here.
I know I still love him so much. It just can't easily be remove. We've been inlove for how many years. I don't know about him but for me, I know love him as much as love myself. And I'm willing to sacrifice my life for him. But what he did is out of the line. And it breaks me. It completely breaks me into pieces. And I don't know if I can be able to remove the pain that he caused.
I slowly stood up from my bed. Feeling dizzy and unwell. I've been feeling not good lately.
I sighed in relief. I need to prepare and fix myself and my belongings so that I can leave as soon as possible. I don't know if I can stay here any longer now. I might due because of pain.
Getting out of the bed, I decided to move a little. I felt so weak and and all of my body hurts like hell. I also have a sore throat and a mild headache.
I slowly went to the kitchen to make a tea. I need to refreshen up my hey, and a tea can be my medicine to it. I took the tea and walk back again on my room and sat near the window, slowly drinking the tea while I watch the backyard.
Then, a sudden thought came into my mind. In a sudden, a blurry face of a man appeared in my sight. In my blury vision, he was wearing nothing. The man was looking at me, but because it's blury I can't seem to recognize fully his face.
Then a soft moan appeared on my head which made my cheeks felt hot. I touched it and closed my eyes as I shook my head. s**t! I must have gone really crazy.
*What was I thinking that time? I should not have let myself drown into something that I don't know if I would be able to carry on or not. That's so stupid of me.* I said to myself.
What I did last time was completely so wrong. I know I made a mistake. It was really bad decision that I should not have done. I was just burned by the desire brought by the wine and because I was drunk, that made me do such thing. Even though Isaac cheated on me, I should not have done such thing.
I heaved a deep sigh again. But it's okay. We'll never meet again. Will never see each other again so I should not be worry anymore. I will leave the country and will leave the pain here and start with something new. Something that will erase the pain that my seven year relationship had brought me.
I know it's such a shame for us to be like this after all the years that we had been through together but it's not me who broke and ruin our relationship. And it's not so easy to forgive. Especially when the pain is buried deeply in your heart because the cut was too deep. It can't easily be forgiven. And I don't know if when can I forgive and forget what he did.
For now, I'll focus on my self first. I'll focus on healing the pain he cause me. After that, if I'm totally healed, maybe that's the time that I will have to forgive him. But not now, because the pain is still fresh and the scar is still visible.
Maybe next time if I return here, I will have to brag to him if how much he will regret for ruining such amazing relationship that we had. Because it's really such a shame. And I mean it, because I thought that I will be spending the rest of my lives with him. I thought that my future will be safe for him and we will be together for good.
But I was so wrong. I trusted him so much. I gave him all of my trust and love him so much. But imy just glad that I did not give myself to him yet. That's the best decision that I had ever made in my life.
But still I'm such a fool, because I gave it to a total stranger. And that's my biggest mistake. Such a stupid sweet mistake of all time.
- Writer
