Triad Storm

Breaking To Heal

Max walked into Novah's hospital room and could tell by her face that she was having a nightmare. He reached to wake her but was scared of making her jump and hurt herself. Instead he went to talk to her nurse. As he exited to the hall, Novah's nurse was just turning to walk his way. She must have seen the look on his face because her smile melted away and she rushed over. "Is everything okay, Max?" He could feel the emotions he's kept buried bubbling to the surface. Shaking his head he met her eyes, knowing the tears were forming. "How do I help her with all of this?" he asked, as he felt a sob shake his body. The nurse put a hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him. "Just be there for her. When she's ready to talk about it all, she will. If she's not don't rush or push her to tell you because you'll just push her away into the darkness." Max nodded, feeling the tears flow now.

Once the nurse walked in to check on her, Max walked over to the chair next to the door and sat down. He'd kept it all in so he could be strong for Novah, but now it was like the dam had broken and everything he was feeling ran wild like a river. He couldn't do anything but curl into himself and just cry. He cried for everything she'd been through, for their son fighting to live and for the guilt of not being able to keep her safe like he'd promised. He wondered how many times she'd look at the door, praying he'd rush in to save the day and been let down because he never came for her.

As the nurse walked out, Max stood trying to compose himself. He turned to see a sympathetic smile on her face. "She's awake and asking for you." She walked over to give him a hug. He knew she wasn't much older than him but she hugged him like a mother would her hurt child. As she pulled away, she placed a hand on his cheek. "Max, you can't do this alone and keep everything bottled up. It'll kill you in the long run. Let her see how scared you are for her. I promise it'll help her to heal knowing you're scared too." Max couldn't get his throat form the words, so he nodded instead.

He walked to the door, placed a hand on the handle and took a deep breath before walking. Novah was sitting up and smiled at him as walked in like he was her whole world. The look she gave him only made his guilt worsen. He could feel the cracks on his heart open wider and knew he was about to break down again. So he rushed to sit on the bed next to her and pulled her slowly into a hug. She giggled nervously as she patted his back. "Max, honey, are you okay? What's wrong?" she asked, panic creeping into her voice and he hated himself for scaring her more. He released her and finally looked her in the eyes. He could tell she was try to be patient as he composed his thoughts.

"You have no idea how much guilt I'm feeling, Novah." Max says, as he wipes his eyes. She looked so confused when he looked up at her. "Why are you guilty, Max?" she asked reaching to cup his face with her hand. "You did nothing wrong for you to feel guilty." Max shook his head not wanting her forgiveness. He didn't feel like he deserved it. "I didn't find you soon enough. You had to endure days of torture from him, waiting for me to find you, but I couldn't stop him." Max almost screamed the words at her as another sob rocked his body to the core. It felt good to tell her how he felt.

Novah's heart was breaking for him. She had no idea that he was carrying all of this on his shoulders and that he held himself responsible. She used all her strength to make him look her in the eyes. She tried to look as stern as she could as she spoke. "Max, how dare you blame yourself. You had no idea any of this would happen or how to find me." She let her face soften as she continued. "I don't blame you at all." Taking a shaky breath, Novah felt the tears slide down her cheek. "Yes, I hoped you break in and kill him every time he touched me. Or when he raped me." As she said the most horrible word, she saw him shake again. She didn't know if it was from anger or because he was crying again. "Yes, I said it out loud. He raped me over and over, Max, but do you know how I survived it?" 

Max looked her in the eyes, confused. "I went to the day we found out we was pregnant and when you asked me to marry you. I played it over and over in my mind to keep myself from being in the present." She smiled warmly at him. "YOU kept me safe through it all. I know you weren't there but my memories of you kept me safe." Max couldn't help but lean into her and kiss her with so much passion that it left her gasping for air. He truly did love her and he'd spend the rest of his life making everything up to her. He vowed to get his Novah back, not the scared Novah that Sam had created. All he could do now was pull her to put her head on his chest and kiss the top of her head. Just to love her and make her feel safe to talk to him. He slowly laid down with her head on his chest in her hospital bed as they both drifted to sleep holding each other. For the first time during all of this, Novah smiled, feeling like she was finally home and safe.