My broken Luna (FREE Book 1 of 3)

CH.19

(Hardin's pov)

once I closed the bathroom door I leaned my head back against the door and sighed. I wish I could figure out how to help Aspen get through this. it hurts me knowing my mate is terrified of being intimate with me like that. I'm not regretting finding my mate or mad that the moon goddess mated me to her, it just hurts my heart that she feels like this because someone mentally and physically hurt her at a young age. I would give anything to be able to take away her pain and her fear if I could. as I was getting ready to walk away from the bathroom door I heard Aspen talking I stopped and put my ear to the door to see if she was talking to me and what I heard was my beautiful mate pleading with the moon goddess to take her fear of being close to me intimately away. listening to her plead to the moon goddess is breaking my heart. I was about to walk away again when I heard her call out for me I opened the door and I could see the tears on her face I looked at my broken Luna sitting there in the tub with her knees up to her chest and I got down on my knees next to the tub and sat there staring at her. she asked me if I would get in with her and just hold her. I told her I would and I would hold her for as long as she needed me to even if the water got cold I would still hold her. i got in and she laid back on me and i wrapped my arms around her waist i placed a kiss on the top of her head and sat there quietly. I wanted her to know I cared more about her feelings than anything else. she finally relaxed, she then lifted her head to look back at me and said it's not that I don't want to do it with you, it's just that I'm scared. I kissed her forehead and said baby please don't feel like that is all I'm wanting from you because it's not. there is so much more to you than just s*x and I want to get to see what all there is to you. I also want you to remember that you aren't the only one who is scared my love, don't forget you will be my first. Blaze spoke to me and told me to lightly rub my thumbs up and down her stomach but not to move my hands and i did and she didn't jump when i started moving my thumbs. I moved my hands down her stomach a little and she took a deep breath and a soft moan escaped her lips. i knew then that she was comfortable and was enjoying my touch but i didn't want to push her so i kept my hands in areas that weren't private. I rubbed her arms, I rubbed her stomach, I had her lean forward and I rubbed her back and I even made her face me so I could rub her legs. the water started getting cold and she asked me to fill the tub back up without the bubble bath so I did. I was a little confused as to why she wanted the tub refilled but I didn't ask her why I just did as she asked me to do I started to get out and she asked me to please stay with her so I sat back down and she got back in between my legs and laid back on me. I went to put my hands around her waist again but she grabbed my hands and moved them up to her breast. I sat there still for a moment then she said it's ok. I started to gently massage her breast and she let out a soft moan so I continued to massage them. what she did next took me by surprise, she reached behind her and in between us grabbed my semi-hard member and started to stroke it. as soon as her hand touched it I let out a moan. she continued to stroke my member as I massaged her breast for a few minutes before she stopped and stood up. she got out of the tub wrapped a towel around her and told me to come with her. I followed her to our room and she laid down on the bed with the towel still wrapped around her. i asked if she was ok and she said she wanted to do what we did at her apartment that night i walked over to the bed and asked her how she wanted to do it. i asked if she wanted to start things or did she want me to. she said she wanted to try and pleasure me first so i laid back on the bed and she climbed in between my legs and grabbed my member. she then started to tease the tip with her tongue then she started to suck. i couldn't control myself so i started to moan i looked down at her and noticed the towel had fallen off her and i could see her beautiful body. I closed my eyes but then she started moaning as she was sucking and when I opened my eyes I could see my beautiful mate playing with herself as she was pleasuring me and oh my goddess it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I lost control and started thrusting myself upward but I heard Aspen gag so I stopped she lifted her head and nodded for me to do it again so I did, I did it a few more times and she moaned every time I did it. she stopped playing with herself but kept pleasuring me until I stopped her and had her lay back. I got in between her legs and kissed her inner thigh I then started rubbing her flower bud and she started to squirm. the more I rubbed it the more she squirmed then she started moaning she was soaking wet and smelled like heaven I just wanted to devour her sweet p***y but I knew I needed to take it slow so I kept rubbing her then I inserted a finger. her moans got louder the more I rubbed her bud and fingered her flower then a stream of liquid hit me Aspen freaked out and kept apologizing to me I told her to calm down that it was ok that there was no need to apologize that it was common for a girl to do it. she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said what is common for a girl to pee while being pleasured? I told her that from what I had learned from watching videos that, that was not pee I told her it was called squirting and it was from her climaxing. she looked at me and said it's called what? I told her again it was called squirting and it was common for girls to do it. she grabbed her phone and pulled up a p**n site and type it into the search bar. over a thousand videos popped up and she played one, then another and then another. I asked her if she wanted to continue and she said it was up to me if we did. she didn't want to end up doing that again if I wasn't into it. i asked her how it felt and she said like she had to pee but way more intense and once she started it was like everything was in slow motion. I asked if it was good or bad she said it felt good but if I didn't want to continue that was ok. I got back in between her legs but this time I started to lick her flower bud and she let out a loud moan. i stopped and she begged me to keep going so i devoured her flower and she loved it.

(Aspen's pov)

Hardin was in between my legs rubbing on my flower bud and I started feeling hot then he started using his finger and the next thing I knew it felt like I had peed. I sat up quickly and told him I was sorry and he explained that it was ok and that it was common for girls to do it I looked at him and said so it's common for girls to pee while being pleasured? he then explained it is called squirting and that it was from me climaxing. I was confused so I looked up a p**n site and looked up squirting and sure enough, there were over a thousand videos of girls doing it. I watched a few videos to see if it was the same as what just happened to me and it was. apparently, some guys love when a girl does it but I didn't know if Hardin would be into it but when he asked if I wanted to continue I told him it was up to him. he went back down between my legs and started using his tongue but then stopped. I begged him to keep going and he did and I have to say my man now knows how to make me scream his name. after Hardin and I were done exploring things I went to take a shower to clean myself up and I stood there in the hot water thinking about how good everything we have done has felt and wondered if having s*x would feel just as good as everything else if not better. I decided to call Trini tomorrow and talk to her about it when I got out of the shower and went into the bedroom I noticed Hardin had changed the sheets and had already climbed into the bed. he looked up at me and said I can not wait to spend the rest of my life pleasing you baby, and I don't just mean in the bedroom you have no idea how much I love you, Aspen. I smiled at him and told him I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life by his side as his mate and his Luna, I then told him I would do everything I could possibly do to make him happy, and then I told him I loved him more than he would ever know. I climbed on the bed next to him and he wrapped his arm around me and we both fell asleep. when I woke up the next morning there was a note on Hardin's pillow and a tray of chocolate chip and banana nut muffins and orange juice next to the bed I sat up and read the note and it said,

"My Love, I had to go into training today. I should be back before you wake if not then enjoy your muffins and juice out on the balcony. I will see you as soon as I am done. I Love you, Aspen Wright."

I smiled at Hardin's note as I put my robe on and grabbed a muffin and cup of juice I opened the door to the balcony and grabbed my phone. I went and sat at the table and took a deep breath. I dialed Trini's number and when she answered I squealed. she yells,

"good lord Asp it's too early to be giving me a heart attack or causing me to go deaf."

I busted out laughing at her reply to my squeal and she said, "ok girl you have my attention what's up? I told her we needed to have a serious talk and she said oh I think I know where this is going. she then said "so did he rip you apart" and I had just taken a sip of my juice but I wasn't able to swallow it I spit it out all over the table and said what in the h*ll would make you ask me that? she laughed and said, "well did you give yourself to him?"

I told her no but then told her I was wanting to but didn't know how to talk to him about it. she told me she was coming to visit and we would talk about it and she would help me figure out what I should do. I agreed even though I'm still scared too. once I hung up with Trini I sat there for a moment and took a deep breath and was startled by a sudden throat clear and I realized Hardin was standing there. I started to freak out at the thought of him standing there and overhearing my conversation with Trini. I fumbled and ended up knocking my juice over and he rushed to the table to help me clean it up. he asked me what was wrong and I asked him how long had been standing there and he looked at me and said not long he had pretty much been standing there since I took a deep breath. I relaxed a little when he said that and asked him how training was. he told me it was the same as always but he was thinking about something and wanted my opinion on it. he told me he was wanting me to come train with him. I stared at him and asked why he was wanting me to train and he said with everything going on with Daphanie he wanted me to be able to defend myself if needed. he was right I do need to be able to defend myself if needed. I told him I would try training with him and he picked me up and hugged me tightly. Hardin went to shower and I decided while he was showering to do a little research, I put my earbuds in and started going through videos so I could get an idea of how to do things when I finally decide to. I was almost done with the first video and didn't realize Hardin had gotten out of the shower until I looked up and saw him staring at me with a raised brow. I closed out of the video and tried to play it off as if I wasn't just watching a p**no he asked me what I was doing and said I was just watching some videos he then asked me what kind of videos I told him just some funny ones he raised his brow again at me and said,

"Aspen you don't have to hide anything from me, baby. I know what you were watching when I got out of the shower I called out to you to see if you could bring me some boxers but you didn't answer so I walked out and saw you watching a p**n video baby."

I put my head down and sighed, I told him I was curious to see how things are supposed to be done and to get some ideas for when I'm ready. he told me that before bed we could both watch videos together to see how things are done and learn together. that sounded like a good idea because I felt weird watching it alone.