Behind Drawn Curtains

Chapter 7

I did not have a single nightmare as Chris slept beside me, not keeping his promise of only staying until I was calm and asleep and then getting back onto the mattress where he was supposed to be sleeping. He also didn’t ask me what I cried about as I fell asleep. He just held me. He just understood that I was somehow broken and that there was nothing he could do about it. So he held me and made sure that I slept. Safely. In his arms.

When morning light started to turn the color of my curtains into a lighter shade of blue Chris was still next to me, holding me tightly as if I would get hurt if he ever let me go. I was thankful that he did not keep his promise until…

The door to my room opened and there was James, looking me square in the eyes, a smile on his face that did not tell of anything good. As I swallowed slowly, not wanting to move, James eyes played between me and Chris and Chris’s arm that was still draped around me. He did not stay for long, but when he left my room and closed the door behind him it was with a wink and I knew that something about Chris gave him an idea that I shuddered to think about.

I tried to fall back asleep, but I could not and in the end I crept out of bed, lifting Chris’s arm as softly as I could as not to disturb his. Then I headed downstairs to make some breakfast. My way of thanking Chris for being there for me while I was having my nightmare.

As the pancake batter sizzled in the pan and the kitchen grew full of the smell of maple syrup James walked in and took a seat at the table, as if I was to serve him breakfast.

“Look at who is such a bad, bad boy,” James said, clicking his tongue.

“What?” I asked, not daring to meet his eyes, but not daring to ignore him either.

“So you have a f**k buddy hey? Do you think he’s in love with you?” he asked.

“No. We’re just friends,” I answered.

“You call that friends with benefits. Or do you think he’s going to fall in love with you hey?” James said. I could feel anger in his words and chose mine carefully.

“I had a nightmare. He tried to keep me calm.”

It was the truth. Well, part of the truth. There was no way that I was telling James that I enjoyed having Chris close to me. That I felt safe in his arms.

“And then you threw him a f**k instead of a thank you card?” James said with a sneer.

“No.” The answer was simple and to the point.

“You know what he sees you as? Just a cheap f**k. He will never be able to love you the way I do. To satisfy you the way I do. He doesn’t have the f*****g experience.”

I could hear that James was starting to get mean. I had to find a way to calm him down somehow. I needed a way to protect Chris from him. What would he do if he really had it in his head that I was having s*x with Chris? Would he try to rape Chris as well?

“He’s just a kid. He could never do what you do,” I said, choosing my words carefully in order for it to be a double meaning and for me not to lie either.

“Yes. You’re right boy. He’s just a kid, but even a kid with a bit of training can do quite a lot. Look at you. Nobody can suck a d**k quite the way you do,” James said and gave a little chuckle.

He was so disgusting that I felt the urge to take the boiling hot pan and beat him to death with it. I wanted to see it dent his skull with every single blow. I wanted to see the blood and the life draining from his eyes. And then I wanted to take that red thing in my closet, turn it on and shove it so far up his ass that it would never see the light again.

“You can say what you want too. I know you put out to him. I can smell the s*x on you, you filthy little slut. Just remember, if you want to start acting like a slut I will treat you like one,” James said as he stood up from the table, but just as he was about to walk out of the kitchen Chris walked in.

“Hey James,” Chris said as he almost collided into James’ chest.

“Morning buddy. Had a good night?” James asked.

“Yeah… Yeah, I had an awesome night thanks,” Chris replied with a smile, dragging his hand through his hair, making his messy do even more unkempt.

“Yes. I thought you would have had an awesome night,” James said and at that moment he turned his head to look at me with an evil smirk plastered on his face. The one that he usually reserved to tell me that I was in for a punishing that I would not soon forget.

By the time that Chris had comprehended the sentence James had already left the kitchen, leaving me alone with Chris.

“What the hell was that all about?” Chris asked, but I decided to answer with just pulling up my shoulders and continuing to bake the pancakes.

“Pancakes?” Chris asked.

“Yep. Felt like we deserved something better than just cereal for a change,” I answered as I plopped three pancakes in front of him and assaulted them with lots of maple syrup.

“Thanks!” Chris said and started to eat while I finished off the last two pancakes.

“About last night…” I started.

“Yeah?” Chris said, looking up from his plate, his one eyebrow lifted higher than the other one that made him look extra innocent and incredibly cute.

“It doesn’t mean I’m gay,” I said.

“Not even when you offered me s*x?” he asked with a playful smile.

For the first time I got red in my face. I blushed like I had never blushed before. And it wasn’t the mention of s*x at all. It was something truly innocently playful in Chris’s face. The way he teased without making it sound dirty. Just making it sound like he was taking me out on some private joke we shared.

“Call it a moment of weakness,” I said as I turned around to the stove in the hope that he would not see my face.

“Ahhh!” he yelled and I immediately turned around to see his hands clutching his chest. “My poor heart! How will I ever survive this rejection?”

“Stop it!” I hissed, looking toward the kitchen door, afraid that James might have heard.

“Chill E.J. I’m just joking,” he said with a chuckle and continued with his breakfast. “We’re all good. I won’t tell anyone that you’re after me. I promise.”

I knew he was still joking, but the fear of James hearing turned me into a mean person when Chris was saying stuff like that. No, I didn’t blame him. It wasn’t as if he knew what was going on, but it was reflex. My way of surviving.

“Stop it Chris! I f*****g mean it!”

“Woah! Cool down dude… I didn’t mean anything by it,” Chris said, his face twisted in shock.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to…” I said, immediately feeling like a dog.

“It’s okay,” he said.

When we were done with breakfast Chris wanted to take a shower, and since I currently preferred a bath with my sore bottom I allowed him to go first. I barely heard the water start in the bathroom or James walked into my room.

“So you’re offering to get f****d by the baby faced punk do you?” James said from the doorway, making me jump. I could feel my lower body scream in pain from the quick movement.

He did not give me the opportunity to answer him before he spoke again.

“Thought that I wouldn’t hear your little conversation down in the kitchen, hey? Tell you what. I’ll go and take a shower tonight at 9:30 sharp. Be there and I will show you that a man is much better than a boy.”

His smile was serious this time. There was something truly psychotic about it. A threat in his eyes. Almost as if to say, “or else”.

“But Chris… He will hear…” I tried to back out.

“And? He’d probably be so jealous that he would want to join in,” James said with a smirk.

“But we had a deal. I get the holiday.”

“That was before you kicked me and refused me. Did you really think that would go without any punishment? I know you only did it because you like being punished,” James said and before I even had a chance to reply he had left. And only just in time, because just as I heard his footsteps going down the stairs the water in the bathroom stopped and Chris came out of the bathroom, with just a towel draped around his wet body.

“Where’s James?” he asked as he walked into my room, still drying his hair with a smaller towel. The movement making the towel around his waist inch down a bit.

“Downstairs,” I said as I turned back to the closet to get some clothes and also to hide my reddening face. It wasn’t that I had never seen Chris naked before. We had undressed and dressed in front of each other many times before, but something about last night made it different in a way.

“Could have sworn I just heard him,” Chris said, and then he noticed the clothing in my hand as I limped past him toward the bathroom. “And that?”

I looked down at the clothing, not knowing what to reply. This was a bit out of character for me, but how could I explain to him that I was black and blue all over my backside and the inside of my thighs. That if he saw it, it would be only too easy to guess where my limp really came from.

“Just trying to be as fast as I can,” I answered, which wasn’t a lie either. There was no way I wanted to give James the opportunity to go anywhere near Chris. Especially with the comment he made earlier of Chris having join us.

“Okay…” Chris said with a raised eyebrow.

As I closed the bathroom door behind me and turned open the tap I could not help but think about how easy it had become for me to lie. Almost everything in my life was a lie nowadays. It had been way too easy to make things up to both James and Chris, even if I tried my best to phrase it that it was still the truth in some odd way. The thing was that I didn’t want to lie anymore. And I was sure as hell not planning on meeting James in the bathroom tonight. I was still sore as hell. I was nowhere near up to doing what he wanted me to do quite just yet. I didn’t think that my body would ever truly heal from what I had experienced. I needed rest. Above all, I knew I deserved death. I deserved it, because after the life I had already lived I deserved a break.