Behind Drawn Curtains

Chapter 8

Since I was still limping there was no way that Chris and I could have been heading out to the mall or any of our other haunts, which seriously bugged me since I needed to get to a bookshop for some new reading material.

“Just get some ebooks online,” Chris suggested, but he clearly did not understand the adventure of searching for just the right book and then smelling the ink and paper while you were reading, so I just let it go and didn’t even answer.

By dinner time James called us down to enjoy some KFC. When my mom wasn’t here and I wasn’t cooking, takeaways was the only food that ever went through this house. And just like always when Chris was over and my mom was away James was again the perfect father. He took money out of his wallet and left it on the table; “In case you boys want to go and see a movie and hang around the mall sometime this week.” He even offered to take a day off work and drive us to a nearby city where a carnival was going on. Chris off course thought that James was just being nice; being the best stepfather ever to walk the earth, but I knew better. I knew that tonight at 9:30 he wanted me to come to the bathroom and he would want his money’s worth in whatever sick idea of fun was going through his mind. But what he didn’t know was that I wasn’t planning on going. Not tonight, and not tomorrow night, and not for the rest of the holiday either. And after that I was planning on telling my mom about him. This had to stop. There was no way I would be able to survive another one of his s****l fantasies if he came up with something worse than what he had done to me the last time. And strangely Chris made me want to live. Even if it was just so that I could feel how it felt to fall asleep with his arm draped over me again. I am sixteen years old and tired from all the s*x while never having been in love in my life. It wasn’t fair and if I did not start to fight it, nothing would ever change. I knew that.

At 9:30 I was already in bed, a movie playing on the TV I got for my previous birthday. Chris, laying on the mattress was sucked into the movie, so much that he did not hear the door to the bathroom across the hallway from us close. He also didn’t hear how the door slapped very loudly about fifteen minutes later.

Honestly I had no idea what movie I was watching. I knew that whenever I denied James things tended to get a little bit ugly, and I was sure that this would be no exception. I just hoped that somehow Chris’s presence would keep me safe for the next few weeks. It wasn’t like he could do what he wanted with me if there was a chance of me screaming at the top of my lungs and Chris finding out what James was really doing to me.

On the other hand I wished that Chris could get on the bed with me. I wanted nothing more than to feel safe, and Chris helped with that. As long as he was close nothing could hurt me. I knew that without a doubt. Still I did not want to chance it, so I sat with anxiety running through me, making my knee jump and sending small signals of pain through my lower body.

“That was a brilliant movie!” Chris said after about an hour. “Would you like a soda? I could go and get some.”

“Sure,” I said, thankful that I didn’t have to limp down the stairs again to get one. “Just be quick.”

“Cool,” he said as he jumped up and disappeared from the room, but I did not hear his footsteps going down the stairs. Instead I heard James’s voice.

“Would you mind me quickly having a word with E.J. please?” James’s voice drifted towards me. “I’ll call you as soon as you can come back.”

I could feel the blood going cold in my veins. I felt like climbing out of my own skin. I wanted to jump from the bedroom window and run without ever turning. Just disappearing into the night. Just as I grabbed my duvet and pulled it up to my chin James entered the room. He did not say a single word. Just closed the door behind him and locked it. Then he moved for the windows and drew the curtains shut.

“On your knees,” he said as he came to a halt in front of the bed, standing on the mattress where Chris had been not even a minute ago.

“Please James… Please… Chris is here…” I pleaded. I could feel my body starting to shake. I didn’t even know if I could go down on my knees.

“Don’t make me help you get to your knees boy,” James said, a nasty smile lingering on his face as he started to push down his shorts to reveal the root of all my problems.

“Please… Don’t…” I started to cry. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I could not get to my knees. I was still too sore. Everything was aching.

“Shut up you little brat!” James hissed. “Do you want everybody in town to know that you like sucking on daddy’s c**k?”

“I don’t like it…” I sobbed.

“Of course you do, and I will show you why,” James said and before I even had a chance to scramble away he was on top of me. Touching me. His hand finding its way into my pajamas and underwear. As he was doing it he forced my face into his crotch, forcing my mouth to take his member.

“See… You’re getting hard. You love it, don’t you, you little slut?” James chuckled as I choked and struggled as he forced my head down to take it all into my mouth.

Once again I hated my body for responding. I hated that my body did exactly what James wanted it to do. I wanted to cut it off. Mine and his. That way he would never be able to do anything again and my body would never have the opportunity to f**k me over either.

“There you go, just the way I like it,” James cooed as I shot my load from the stimulation. He came soon after, making me swallow it all.

“Now clean up this mess before Chris sees it,” James said as he left the room and found his way down the stairs. And even though my mouth and jaw was sore and my body ached I jumped out of bed to look for something to wipe my own stickiness from my body. To hide the evidence before Chris had the opportunity to see the most humiliating moment of my life.

I just pulled a clean shirt over my head when Chris walked into the room.

“What was that all about?” Chris asked with a frown.

“Nothing. He just wanted to talk,” I answered, drawing a curtain in front of my eyes.

“You look like you’ve been crying,” Chris said as he walked closer. “And what’s on your chin?”

I wiped quickly and as I looked down into the wet slimy mess that was on my chin seconds before I knew I had been busted.

I sprinted for the bathroom as quickly as my limp leg could carry me, in the process pushing Chris out of the way. I slammed the door behind me, and I was only just in time for the toilet as my body started shaking and I allowed everything I had consumed in the past twenty-four hours to be expelled from my body.

I had enough. I knew I had had enough. I could not take anymore. Chris could not protect me. I was sure of that now. Even when he was around I would still have to service James. I would still have to do my duty and I just could not do it anymore… Nothing on earth could be as bad as my life was. I know that they say there is always someone out there that has it worse than you do, but knowing and thinking about that does not make your situation any better. It only made you realize that tomorrow you might just be in their shoes as well. And that did not make you happy to be in your situation. It made you fear what it could escalate too.

I needed to get James off my skin. I needed to get out of the situation.

By the time the bath was drawn and I climbed in I felt tired. I felt like I had shed every single tear I had left in my body. If I just put my head under the water and refused to come back up for air…

A knock on the door brought me back to reality.

“Yeah?” I answered. I could hear how hoarse my voice was but I didn’t care anymore.

“Are you okay?” I heard Chris’s voice. He sounded worried to say the least.

“Yeah…” I answered. Maybe he did care?

“Just wanted to make sure…” he answered before I heard his footsteps leading away from the bathroom door.

Then, all of a sudden the door flew open. I tried my best to cover myself up, pulling the bubbles that surrounded me closer in the hope that Chris would not be able to see it.

“Don’t worry, I’m not looking,” he said as he came to sit on the carpet in front of the tub, his back toward me.

There was silence for a few minutes where Chris breathed very heavily, like he was trying to get as much oxygen into his lungs as possible before he started to speak.

“Look, I know something is going on,” he said.

“Huh?” I exclaimed, not wanting to say anything until I knew what he knew.

“I know there’s something going on between you and James,” Chris said. I could hear his teeth clenching on one another.

“Yeah?” I asked. I could feel my stomach pulling into a knot. This was it.

“You’re having s*x with him right?”

I expected the question but it still hit me right in the stomach. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like my world was coming to an end. Everything was going to fall apart from this moment on.

“Yeah…” I said.

“I knew it,” Chris said. I could hear sadness in his voice. “It’s not right, but who am I to judge. If you’re in love with him…”

“What?” I asked, but Chris was already standing up and heading for the door.

“I’ll call my mom to come and pick me up. That way I won’t be in the way of you and your daddy’s playtime,” Chris said as he opened the door and walked out of the bathroom. “At least now I know why he buys you so many stuff. My mom always said that the other woman, or in your case the other guy gets more than the wife.”

Chris wiped the tears from his eyes before he closed the bathroom door behind him. I could feel the tears burning behind my own eyes. So this was what would happen? I was losing Chris and all I was ending up with was James, in an empty house where he could do anything he wanted to me without anybody hearing. And worse of all, Chris would forever think that I was having an affair with James. That I wanted all of this to happen to me.

As I climbed out of the bath and made my way toward the medicine cabinet I knew exactly what I needed to do. I could see the pain inside my eyes when I looked in the mirror. Why could Chris not see it as well?

The thin piece of metal felt strange in my hands. I wondered if it was going to hurt, but then again I was sure I had felt worse pain in my life.

As the blood dripped over my feet and unto the bathroom floor I allowed tears to fall down and mix with it. I didn’t feel scared. I felt relieved. It would all be over soon.