It's difficult to choose

8

So the student of that class  who do not know me, they were start staring at me. And some of the student speaks in the mumbling voice that he speaks also. I don't care of them and ask my question.  The teacher in the class began to ask me my name after heard my question. I will tell them the name, they ask me Are you new here? I said yes.! Then he said that your doubt is good. You Sit down i will clear your doubt in a minute. They clear my doubt. After sometime when class was over Pratik asked me that very good buddy how easily you asked the question. You ask good doubt, your knowledge is very good in every subject. Then he asks me what you want to take in the extra subject, I'll tell him that I have already taken P.E in extra subject. Pratik said mine is also P.E. Then I ask him that now which of the next class is this, which teacher will come and which subject we study in this period. Pratik interact me with all the class after the period was over, He says that his name is aman and he is the topper of his school he make me famous in front of all .but I still missing my old Friend and school. But here Pratik is feeling me very good He was trying to feel me more comfortable here. Randomly the second topper of that school came and shake hand with him and said Hey! I am Atish, I said Hello! My self Aman nice to meet you. He tells me that and Does are you preparing for JEE IIT in extra?

I did not know what is JEE IIT ?

I just heard that this is a competitive exam. But I don’t now why the students give this exam for what this exam is required i don't know about this in the brief ?

I have to become a scientist in the future, but I don’t know what to do for become scientist, what I should to choose for become a  scientist who go and work in the NASA I know nothing about this my future goal was i want to become  a scientist in NASA but i have no idea about it. When Atish asks me whether you are going to JEE IIT coaching or not? I said no i am not going anywhere. Atish ask me How do you study without coaching ?, He asks me how do you know about everything ? So I said to him that I study everything from myself. The students who were present there are all shocked and say that you are good in study you know everything and you do not know about it. How ? Seeing everyone's reaction, I understood that something was weird, I was feeling so weird at that time. Because everyone is talking about a common topic and I did not know anything about that i feel so wired about that I Don't know anything.

The day ends, I am back to my house as soon as my mom comes and asks me how was the first day of a new school? How were you guys liked it or not? I say that normally that my day was pretty good i make some good friends in the first day. My mother is happy to hear this he says that is good. He quickly changes the dress and first goes to the PC and checks What is JEE IIT ? Where it is required ? What Does it helps in ? After 10 minute Search  he find out that its entrance exam, this exam gets admission in best engineering colleges. I thought this is just the exam which is very good and I can do this exam for sure . I do not do much research in this i just see the heading and understood that this is only an entrance exam. In which the question will come from PCM only. I did not taking it seriously, I just thinking that I scored very good in 10th exam, So this is just the exam, I'll also clear out it very easily i was taking this thing as a joke at that time i did not understand that thing i was just taking it for granted as like i clear 10th exam than i can do everything so easily but this thing is not as simple as that this is my misunderstanding that it would also be like 10th exam.  I understood that just like the mark is coming good, there will be coming every Time but that is not true. I had a big misconception of this entrance exam. I tied the computer in just 10 minutes of research and thought that it was very easy to do. I do it comfortably. But I don’t knew that I was now about it later.

After the research i will sit for the study suddenly my old school teacher phone call's come I received the call and say Good afternoon sir. He ask me "why are you not coming at school from some day ?" I tell them sir what to say actually I left the school. Sir Says that I had heard from some students that you left the school.

They asked me what happened to you that you left the school ? I told them that I was not a single problem in school but the school is so far away from my house this is the main problem that i have , I can't giving the proper timing to the study and to the sleeping. That cause my health also weak that's why I leave the school. Hearing this my teacher understood what was wrong to me that why i leave the school he only said to me very softly that do not take tension, and study a lot and you can call me whenever you need my help or my suggestion okay!  As soon as the phone is cut, I just have a lot of gilt feelings that I left a good teacher as he used to support me in everything, every time. I had a lot of guilt about this. I feel like that did make any mistake or Did i taken a wrong decision ? Because I have loose  a teacher like him.

I went to the school from next day regularly I thought I could not forget my old school I could not forget my friends, but I would never have thought that I would get dissolve with each other here early in this school. First I was fairly scared that how will the new school, I used to think that nobody would talk to me directly,

 I will adjust there or not ? But this school was good, i had make some of friend also here.

This is the better opportunity for me to look superior in front of everyone. Because when we are in an old school we know each other from many years. We Know everything about everyone, When did you cry? , when did you laugh? Everything about you. But here i was new no one is knew anything  about me. Since your childhood you were like your nature did not know anyone here. So this my Golden opportunity to look superior in front all of these. And to make a new character in myself. I will take the advantage of this thing and i am trying to show everyone that i am best. I behave as a best, i was properly attending the class daily. I will present daily in the class. And i also give all the test's and I bring good marks in all subject. First everyone thinks that i am not good in study but . After seeing my performance they all believed me that “Really Aman was a brilliant student.” I'm was impressed everyone like this In the same way I make myself different from everyone. As soon as I went to class, I got to see the special respect in everyone's eyes. Everyone started to know that I would have a lot of knowledge and if any of us became a topper then he would became a topper.

I was continue going to school everything going very nicely, next day I enter a class, I see a girl in front of me, I can't see her properly because she is standing in a group of girl that's why I only see the back portion of the girl. I have crush on her. Her name is Shreya. She was bold in nature, She is not afraid of anyone, she is from commerce stream. according to the other girls, she has quite short hair. Her hair comes to her shoulder and she wear hair band in hair, And sometimes she holds a pony tail. I see her first time in the assembly from behind side. I never interact with her, but I know her voice. And Shreya has a habit to talks very loudly and at all times, she makes fun of the people she makes fun of his classmate's and those people also enjoy her. Because her jokes are very funny.

My extra subject was PE but Shreya's extra subject was Arts and drawing so I decide to change the subject from PE to arts and drawing not because of Shreya. I changed my subject because there are so many options to choose in my old school there are not that much of choice their. And I was very fond of drawing so i changed subject from PE to Drawing.

In the drawing room when I sits in the drawing room, a girl's voice come very loud from behind. I  Looked back there was a pretty  girl were shouted. She asks Sir can I study here, the teacher who were present in the class says yes! Come in. Those Sir ask her that this is your subject? So she says that Sir I Had not thought yet but now I decide to take this subject. Sir says come in. She sits on the floor mat in the back side of the room because the floor were cleaning at that time that's whys she sits down on the floor on the mat. Then she comes and sit behind me. I see her but like that no one can understand that I was seeing her.

The class was going on the drawing teacher was drawing something on the board, i was sitting in front of Shreya, she is sitting behind me. after sometime i just feel that someone hit me with the pen, i turn around immediately and out of reflect i Just shout, "What the hell is this", what going on? Shreya says me that I am 'Sorry'  my intention is not to hitting you but actually you are sitting in front of me I couldn't able to see that "What does the teacher was drawing on the board ?" So, Please, shift little bit aside  then i can see the board. Then, I apologize her in a polite way and I was shifted to little bit aside. I show her in a gesture way with my hand that you can sit in my place also i can sit on your place I have No issue, without saying anything and if said sorry for that. She says Why are you saying sorry to me, It's okay. If you sit here, what's the problem, it doesn't matter to me. It's okay you can sit there only now I can see the board properly.

The class were ended, then suddenly Shreya gave me a compliment in front of all the class that you are so cute, there are no one who gave me Answer as like you, you gave me a reply in very polite way I just like it, I doesn't say anything to her at that time but i feel so good inside after hearing her compliment. In the class in my side Atish were sitting I just asked him that "what is her name ?" Atish said that her name was Shreya Agarwal she is from commerce section, i said okay our conversation is were going on i just ask everything about Shreya he tells me that she is very open minded girl, she doesn't have a fear of any one, she makes a fun of everyone as like this our conversation was going, then our class was ended we leave from the class at that time Shreya came to me and said that she is apologize for what she done. She says I am sorry ! she is apologising but in a funny way she doesn't have any regret about that what she done. I was very innocent at that time i just think that she is really saying sorry to me, she really feels sorry for me, but Shreya was not that type of girl as I was understanding her. She is very open minded girl ,she is making fun of every one. She understands that I was attracted from her, and in reality I was really attracted with her smile, with her hairs, with her gesture. Her everything attracted me but at that time I didn't understand that she was making my joke and I don't know her intentions at that time, I just think that she is real. But i don't know that at upcoming time this attraction Hurt's me most.

As like this time was going on, Shreya talk me in a very fine way, besides her original character which is very loud, very bold, very confident and very funny. I knew her original character but I feel special because she never behave me as like she is, she always talk to me in a fine nature if i smile she gave me smile back , she makes fun of everyone but she never make my joke at all. She never treat me like other she makes me feel special. Shreya is a that type of a girl who make fun of every person, she tease mostly boys as like she is going from corridor and she sees that any boy is coming then she Comments on that guy that your hair is looking sexy. When the guy reply she make fun of the guy and says that I was not telling to you I was telling to that guy Sorry buddy.. That type of joke she do with all of the people.

But that type of thing she never do with me so our chemistry were building up. After some time i just think that shreya were became my girlfriend because we are friends from 2 to 3 month and she gave me special gesture and feels me special so is this happen. Then one day i went to the. Drawing class in today class there are most of the students were not present me and Shreya only  present in this day. So our drawing teacher decided that there are very few student present in the class so today class was cancelled so you can go to your classroom. But Me and Shreya doesn't go to the classroom we plan to go to bunk the class then we go to the back side of the school there was a garden were we are walking as normally talking about ourselves that where are you from.? What did tou love to do? Like this but I want to talk Shreya about my felling I was thinking that now we are alone and very far from the school now we can talk about this easily. But this was a noon timing we go near to the tree and sit there. There was a shade of tree which feels so good. Shreya was quite and not talking to me as generally she were talking normally. She close her eyes and feels the air and tje environment. I just start talking with her before I say something to her she says me that Please "Aman don't talk i just want to feel this thing i want to enjoy this time", after listening this i says nothing to her but I was not feeling good because shreya was a girl who were talk every time in the class room in the school and she gave me allot of special gesture, attention but now she is quite and not talking to me why?

Shreya knew that what does I want to say because She knows me how i am. She knows that i am very innocent and very true type person, she doesn't want this that's why she is ignoring me she doesn't gave a reply to me she doesn't talking to me, and somewhere she is hiding her real face with me. She was sitting there very quiet. But I was trying to talk with her because this is my chance to talk with her because no one is there we are alone there but she says nothing to me. Then the period was end we back to our classroom without a single talk. I was continually thinking that "why she doesn't talk to me?"… "why she doesn't give me a attention as like she gave me as normally why?" In my mind there are alot of questions were running but in the end i Just say to myself that her health was not good she is not feeling good at that time that's why she is taking rest. We talk some other day.

This is the month of mid December, the half section of 11th was complete. Next day before recess there was chemistry period this. But at that time there are some coaching teacher were came to our school for giving a section so our chemistry class was cancel at that day and they take this period as a counselling section. This class was supposed to be a big milestones in my life and in all the students who were present at that counselling. So that class was begins on and the teacher come from across they are asking from all the students that why you took PCM subject's. Then every student is giving their intro and elaborate their decision that why they taken PCM stream in 11th. Now my chance come they ask me that why are you choose this stream? What you want to become in a future? . I said to the Teacher that I want to become a space scientist, and i want a very good job in place of theoretical Physics in NASA. As soon as they heard my answer , the teacher tells me that you know that what the requirements of NASA are for job? So, I told him that no i have no idea about that. But if there was any paper or entrance exam then definitely I will c***k that out.

 Then that teacher removes my  valetudinarianism very quickly. He told me that No one can become a scientist easily on today's time. He told me that to become a NASA scientist, first you had to complete graduation in India then you have to do scientist job in India then you can apply there Either you have to go foreign for the study Then if you get citizenship of that place then after, you can apply in NASA . The path of NASA is very difficult. I'm a little demoralized after listening to this. I think that now my dream was not complete. But at the same time the coaching Teacher They bring a new way, because they are coaching teachers from IIT JEE coaching I heard this thing before also because  from my class there are some of the students were going to the IIT JEE coaching but I used to understand this  they learn notes in the coaching  that