You're To Blame

Lost And Found (3)

Chapter 3: Lost And Found (3)

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A year later…

“What’s with the long face?” A co-worker of mine asked me.

“My face is normal sized.” I reply sarcastically as I turned back to my work. I was on the night shift at the gas station I work at. It wasn’t fancy work or anything, definitely wasn’t celebrity status. But in between acting gigs, out of which I never got a single role, I had to somehow feed myself, since there isn’t anyone else that can do it for me. My waitressing job ended a while ago because I didn’t care about pleasing customers anymore… my manager was fed up with me, so now I’m here…

A new job, new apartment… my life had changed somewhat in the last year I just don’t know if it’s for the better or worse…

It’s a bit easier to work here…

“You’re as silly as ever. Hey did you see that car over there?” My co-worker asked me while not so discreetly pointing at a rather luxurious looking jaguar car.

“Yeah and what of it?” I asked not particularly interested.

“I heard the owner of it is super rich and some world class model or something.” My co-worker continued, honestly his constant gossiping was what made him so nice be around at work. Since I never felt like I had to pick up a conversation topic myself, it was so much easier.

“And so?” I asked again, although that might have been a mistake, cause my simple disregard for what he was saying invited him to speak much more than usual.

“Since he’s so rich he always leaves good tips whenever he’s here! I got about 50$ last time, and all he bought was some booze and condoms. Isn’t it insane?” Carl asked me, he looked overly excited as ever.

“Yeah, it’s insane…” I agreed, though halfway through his rant I was already not paying any attention to any of it at all.

“Welcome in…” I greeted the client, the so called model but he didn’t seem to pay me much mind. So much for getting a tip…

“Will this be all?” I asked him while scanning his items, it was a particular brand of coffee that we carried and then some sweets which was surprising since he’s a model, is he allowed to eat this stuff?

“You…” He paused and looked at my face as if he was observing it.

“Me, what?” I asked while looking back at him. This man looked shocked to see me. Although I’m sure I’ve never seen him before.

“You don’t remember me?” He questioned me as if I was supposed to.

“Should I?” I replied back bewildered.

“Be kind to clients!” My co-worker spoke up from the side and gave me a nasty look. I guess it’s because he doesn’t want to lose this good client.

“Should I remember you, sir?” I said as I turned back to him. That was polite enough, right? My co-worker seemed satisfied.

“I guess it’s not necessary… do you work here now?” This man continued questioning me.

“What do you think?” I replied sarcastically as before. Looking down at my name badge and the store’s uniform.

“You’re meaner than I remember you but none the less… here’s my business card.” He said while handing his card to me. I glanced at his name. Derrick.

“For what?” I asked while trying to shove it back in his hands but he didn’t accept it.

“To make your dream come true.” Derrick said while leaning over the counter. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be seductive or not but his breath smelled like alcohol at that moment. Had he been drinking and it made him act weird?

“Do I know you?” I asked him again.

“You want to be an actress, right?” Derrick interrupted me and asked a question of his own.

“Yeah, but how did you know that?” I looked up at him and he had a confident smirk across his face.

“I’ll help you, to return the favor.” Derrick said, his words a bit slurred.

“What favor?” I asked him, stepping from behind the counter towards him. “I don’t remember anyone owing me anything so-”

“Back then… in the rain… you helped me.” He held my hand, and lowered his head. At that moment I remembered the same person a year ago laying in the trash in the pouring rain.

“In the… you’re that guy?” I asked him looking up, the closer I looked at him I could tell it was the same person.

“Yes.” He nodded. I wasn’t able to instantly recognize him cause he’d held his head low before and I never got a decent look of his face but now…

“Look, take this back, I don’t mean to do this by connections… I have to do it by my own merits.” I told him while shoving the hard into his hands but he refused to take it.

“How many people in the world do you think get to do what they enjoy for work?” Derrick asked me with a serious look on his face. Then I realized he wasn’t drunk, it’s just his collogue that smelled like cheap booze.

“….not many…” I replied to his question.

He nodded. “Sometimes to get what you want you need the right connections to do so. Hollywood is a very close minded place, they play and recycle the same actors over and over again and it’s very hard to get in…” The way he spoke in front of me with such confidence that he didn’t seem to possess a year ago. I was impressed…

“What are you saying, that I can never do it on my own?” I asked him angrily. I had the talent, I knew I did. And him coming here and telling me I can’t do anything without his help is just ridiculous!

“Exactly, you can’t do it.” He repeated himself, Derrick didn’t seem to have bad intentions, he spoke as if everything he was saying was simple facts that he couldn’t change even if he wanted to. “Whether you have talent or not is irrelevant if you can’t even get your foot in the door. Thousands of talented actors are pushed aside each year never to be remembered by anything… meanwhile those with proper connections can break through without putting in much effort.”

“……………..” I was silent, I couldn’t argue back at him especially since he’s someone with much more experience than me. He knew how things were… and I was the naïve one to assume it would be easy…

“Do you like this job that much that you’re not willing to quit?” Derrick asked me as he took a glance around the store, his eyes stopping at my co-worker that didn’t seem to know what to do.

“Of course not… but why would I trust you? So what if I helped you out back then? It’s not like that makes-hmp!” Before I could finish my reply he held me in for a kiss. It was passionate to the point I could barely breathe although it couldn’t have lasted for more than a few seconds.

“Mgh… what are you doing?!” I finally managed to push him back and ask him. That kiss wasn’t something anyone could do… it felt… so strangely intimate.

“I fell for you back then, that’s why I’m willing to help you out. So trust me.” Derrick spoke as if he was making a grand confession towards me. But it was hard to believe it.

“That’s… not how it works…” I told him.

“Trust me…” Derrick leaned in next to my ear and reassured me. Did he pretend he likes me so it would be his excuse? Eiter way he was a stranger how could I ever…

Derrick stared at me for about 10 seconds and I felt like my soul was gradually leaving my body because…

This man… maybe it was his endlessly seductive gaze, or the way that he fearlessly stepped in my life without fear of rejection… I couldn’t believe it but I was attracted to him, more than I wanted to admit to myself at the time even…