Hallows: The Golden Viper

The Part I Want To Forgive

Blue October- Hate Me

B.B.

The people have spoken and now I have to wear headphones. That and Carson bought me a pair of Onkyos with diamonds on them. Honestly, they give an immense amount of privacy when everyone is home. But right now. They're not working for me.

"You okay?" Ahsan asks. He's the one that gave up his afternoon to stay here with me today by request. I have a really good excuse.

"They died," I take the headphones off and put them in their case. "Would you like to go on an adventure with me?"

"Yes," he says without hesitation.

"I'll go grab my coat,"

"Miss," James appears at the bottom of the stairs case with my bag and my coat.

"Can you predict the future?" I laugh taking my things from him.

"You flatter me, Miss," he places his hand over his chest. If this thing ever turns on me I'm sure he's going to do it because of all the things I love him for.

"Is it smart for you to be out and about right now?" Mom appears in the family room doorway.

"How long have you been here?" I ask. She's so quiet. When Dad is here, he's always doing something mean. His presence is obvious. I love that he's not here and I don't want to know where he is. I wonder why she wasn't playing the piano. I wouldn't have minded that.

"I woke up at two. I hadn't slept in a while. Your dad showed me your smoke log," she holds it up. Delilah told me Mom's been around me because they found plans to try and get me to Texas. When she's not here, she's hunting.

"Do you want to come?" I ask and hope she says no.

"Sure," f**k.

"This is what you get for being dumb," San whispers from behind me. I'm really glad he waited until she had started walking away. "Biggie?"

"Stacy has Smalls," I nod. He grins at my car's name. Dec named them both. The Jeep's name is Biggie and Mercades is Smalls. We wait for my mom in the car. She actually changed. She's wearing jeans. I've never seen my mother wear jeans or a black and purple baseball T-shirt. There's a Happy Bunny toon printed on it that says Just Not A s**t Giver I Guess. Do I love that or am I picking up on San's excitement from me insisting he stay with me today? "Hmm,"

"Sorry, quick wardrobe change," she says. "I want to be comfy if we encounter anything suspicious,"

San puts on his shades without taking his eyes off me. He's chewing gum. Really just smacking it around knowing that I hate the sound. I smile reaching up to put my hand on his cheek. He stays still with his lips slightly parted when I lean in. I reach into his mouth and pluck it right out. I lower the window and throw it out.

"Don't be an asshole," I warn him. He's momentarily stunned but then he grins. He knows I hate it when he does stuff like that and he does just to get a reaction out of me. "Did you really think I was going to kiss you with gum in your mouth?"

"Is everything okay?" Mom asks from the backseat.

"Yeah," I say. "Everything is fine,"

"Where too?" San asks.

"Old Town,"

"Yes," he whispers to himself.

"Bet you Lucien is the first to text us," I smile.

"Mmm, my money is on Carson," he smirks. "What are we trading?"

"I accidentally elbowed my Hello Kitty bong the other night,"

"That's it?" he scrunches his nose.

"Mhm," I nod. We both look down at my phone when the gunshots echo from it. Victor and Lucien think it's hilarious.

"If I win you have to play COD with me for a couple of hours,"

"Really?" he can literally ask for whatever he wanted and that's what he asks for?

"Yes," he nods.

"Okay," I turn my phone on. "Carson,"

"Yes," he grins. "Better luck with one of the others,"

Car$on (is that what he changed his name to?): Y?

B: w/ San & Ashley

C: &?

B: & nuthin. Just stalking ppl.

C: -_-

B: Hey dat emoji evn luks lik u

C: LOL. BITCH

B: :*

C: B crful B.B.

B: Yes, Mr. President. ;)

C: My name is Carson Hayashi and I approve this message. >.Kanye in the Whitehouse,"

"You're serious about the President thing?" he laughs.

"President?" my mom asks. "B.B. do you want to be President?"

"Carson does," I look back at her. "Ha, me president," I shake my head. "It's too easy,"

There's something very different about her. The look in her eyes. Her demeanor. This isn't the woman buried in my rose garden anymore. No, part of that woman was still completely human. Ashley's hazel eyes are closer to amber than they are to green now. This woman in front of me is a predator. A killer. Something darker than my actual mother. When I look at her, I see the same thing I see in my dad's eyes or in Delilah's. Darkness.

"What?" she asks after a moment of silence. I turn around looking down at my hands.

"I just-"

I swallow back my last memories of my mother. The way she smiled even when she probably didn't have the strength. The little parts that have been eating at me from the moment she knelt down in front of me.

Ashley Villanueva had been the last one standing in her generation. The little things I loved about her. The very human parts of my mother. She gave them to me without knowing what it would do to both of us. It was all she had left to give and now here we are. Whatever this is, it kills me. Because I took that from her. I accepted it and she gave it up. Neither of us thought of the consequences of our actions that afternoon and it's way too late to take it back or even apologize. All that's left is compromise. Pesky little thing.

"You just what?" she asks.

"I'm just now realizing that you're really gone," I sigh. "I mean like really gone. The parts of you that I wanted. The parts of you that are now inside of me," I laugh. "I'm not really sure what it is I'm mad at. You're Ashley Blackstone. That much I know but you're also not her,"

"I get it," she says.

"I'm never going to be able to forgive you. You know that right? You can say it. You can try to make up for it all you want but the part of you that I want to forgive isn't there anymore. The part I loved the most is gone. You're just like us now. You're someone to be respected and admired. The idea of the person you fought to become," I reach into my glove compartment and take my guns out. "As the daughter of Ashley Villanueva, I'll let it go. She was a really good mom and a kind of good person when it mattered. You're my mother now. Not the one I want but the one I need. I think it would be better for both of us if we start over. Put what happened behind us and just pretend it never happened,"

"Is that really what you want?" she asks quietly.

What I want is rarely something I get to choose. I think they all know that. It's why they buy me things. Why they replace the ache inside of me with pretty gifts and gestures. It's why I accept them. Something pretty to cover up the festering wounds that threaten to tear my soul apart. It will always be that way. The only one that suffers, in the end, is me because I let them have this much power over me. I have to let it go. Just give up. Who would I really be without them?

"What I want is rarely something I ever consider, Mom. I want a lot of things. But yeah, this is something I want because if we keep this up, it'll affect Delilah and Dad. Maybe one day we'll be able to revisit this conversation without me wanting to wish I-" I pause unable to finish the sentence. f**k, it has to be the mercy in me because she deserves to f*****g know exactly what she makes me feel, but I can't do it. I can't tell her that every time I look at her, I wish I could just fade away. That I wish I could take it back so badly I would die for it. "So, truce?"

"And if I decline it?" she asks.

"Then we're always going to be fighting, Mom. We have to fight the world because they're all against us. Do you really want us to be like this all the damn time? I mean I can't promise you we won't fight ever. Just not about this. I want to put it to rest. I'm tired of it already,"

"Okay," she says after a while. "Maybe one day,"

"Thank you," I let out a heavy sigh because even when we're calling a truce now, there still won't be any relief. She's still buried in the backyard. I still put her there. And she will always see me not as her daughter but as the thing she created.

"I should probably be thanking you,"

"I f*****g would be," Ahsan scoffs. I smack his arm. He grins at me.

"Get off on Prospect," I instruct him.

"Can I ask why you're giving this girl a ride home?" he asks and I love him for changing the subject. For putting my attention back on the objective.

"She's Calliste's youngest," I say. "He had twelve kids, but this one wasn't born in his marriage. Her mother is still unknown. He's raised her himself since she was born. While his legitimate children will take the public throne he's created. Diana will handle the underground. She's in my Biochem class. She took suite one from Del and Lucien. The room was turned into a ballet studio,"

"Shattered Dreams was a f*****g masterpiece," Ahsan shrugs. "No offense to Del or Luc but she deserves that suite,"

"Holy s**t, that's Alice," Mom leans forward as we approach the curve where Diana agreed to meet with me.

There's a woman with her. A woman dressed in all Gucci. Her pretty silver blonde hair stops at her shoulders. She has her hand on Diana's head and she's whispering something into her ear. Diana's expression is neutral. When the woman pulls away she hands her the purse on her arm and turns around to walk away. She gets into the back of a limo and it leaves.

"Okay," I look back at my mom.

"Oh, s**t. That's Alice's daughter," she whispers.

"Who is Alice?"

"My first girlfriend. Dad's and I's first girlfriend. She was really close to Lucien's mom," she sits back. "Do you still have the necklace?"

"The lily?" I ask taking it out along with the one Vic gave me. She smiles and nods.

"Alice is a Devil. She's the Devil of the Apocolypse Stone. If you're the same age as her, she's a Devil,"

"Did you know that?" I ask Ahsan.

"I've never seen her before. I went to Hellbourne High. I know Lucien through Stacy. Johnny was King back then," he shrugs.

"You're Southside?" Mom asks.

"Yeah, I own the smoke shop," he nods. Ro approaches Diana and leads her over to us.

"Shh," I hush my mom. She climbs into the trunk space as Diana and Ro get in.

"What's up, Blackstone?" Diana greets me and sets the purse the woman gave her on her lap. "Who the f**k is this?" she looks back at my mom. "Wait, is this your mom?"

"s**t, you are a devil," I turn around to face her. She reaches into her coat but Ro and Ahsan take theirs out first.

"Aww, come on, man. What are you, pack dogs?" she falls back.

"What? You don't know what they are?" my mom asks.

"Nah, I'm kind of new to this s**t. The interacting with other supernaturals, I mean. My mom is weird about me being out of the castle," she sighs. "So, what the hell are you guys?"