Her Heart

Chapter Three

SHE'S not really fan of alcoholic beverages. She rarely drinks. If she drinks it's few shots only. Kaya sa tuwing pinapasa sa kanya ang baso ay napapangiwi siya sa pait na dulot ng alak. Bawat lagok, humahagod ang pait sa lalamunan niya. She just love the drunken moments. Tuwing umiinom siya kasama ang high school friends ay ladies drink lang o 'di kaya wine. Hindi siya sanay sa hard drinks. 'Tong mga kapit bahay niya hard talaga. She wanted to whine kaso sampid lang siya.

"Dahan-dahan naman 'Ge!" Reklamo niya ang bilis kasi ng ikot ng baso. "Hinahabol ba tayo?" she asked.

Ange laughed, "Mabilis ang ikot ano magagawa natin, kada lapag ng baso nilalagok agad nila."

"Uy, Ave!"

Nag-angat siya ng tingin she saw Marc smiling.

"Oh, bakit?" she asked while hugging her knees. Medyo malamig na kasi. Malayo siya sa apoy.

"Tutal, minsan ka lang naman sumabay sa 'min. May itatanong kami sa 'yo."

Hindi niya maiwasang mapangiwi ng mapansing lahat na katingin sa kanya. Even the girls na hindi niya kilala. She wanted to roll her eyes but she plaster a fake smile.

"Shoot, basta it doesn't include politics." She joked.

"Gaano ka totoong naglive in raw kayo nitong si Von?" Jay, kapit-bahay niya rin.

Her jaw dropped. Tang inang issue 'yan. She rolled her eyes. “Sa tingin mo? Ni hindi nga kami nag-uusap niyan."

"Eh, bakit araw-araw ka sa kanila dati?" singit ni Drew.

"Malamang sa malamang kaibigan ko kapatid niya. Saka hello, nung halos dun ako sa kanila he was in a relationship."

"Pero may gusto ka sa kanya?" Marc asked. Isa pa 'to. Ang sarap tirisin.

"No," she answered straightly.

"Pero may chance?" Ange, beside her asked.

"Pati ba naman ikaw?" nakabusangot niyang tanong.

"Uy, di makasagot!" pang-aasar pa ni Marc. Von Rix was beside him, he was just sitting quitely. Nanunuod sa bawat galaw niya. Naghihintay sa bawat sagot niya.

"Wala, okay? Paano magkakachance hindi naman 'yan nangliligaw." She answered trying not to sound pissed.

"'Pag nanligaw ako may chance nga?" biglang tanong ni Von Rix na kinagulat ng lahat pati siya ay napanganga sa gulat.

"Siraulo ka ba?" halos mautal niyang saad. Kinabahan siya bigla. Pinagtitripan 'ata siya nito.

"Ano? May chance nga ako?"

He asked while smiling. Sa ngiti nito ay sumisingkit ang mga nito. Well, Von Rix is cute, pinoy na pinoy ang dating. Matangkad, moreno at nagiging singkit tuwing ngumingiti but she can't see the possibility of being with him. Heller, ngayon lang sila nagkausap. Sa tuwing dadalaw siya noon kay Ishie hindi nga siya nito matignan. Ligawan pa kaya?

"Wala, hindi ka naman nanliligaw, eh. Kaya manahimik ka o papakainin kita ng buhangin diyan."

That earned a laugh from everyone. Well she wasn't joking. Papakainin niya talaga ng buhangin 'yang Von Rix na iyan. Kanina pa siya nito pinagtitripan. Kaloka 'ha!

The drinking session continued. Hindi niya mabilang kung pang ilang bote na ng alak nainom nila. Medyo hilo na rin siya. Tumayo siya ng nakaramdam ng tawag ng kalikasan. Muntik pa siyang humalik sa buhangin buti nalang may humawak sa braso niya.

"Thanks," she mumbled. Hindi na niya tinignan kung sino.

Halos hindi na siya makalakad ng maayos. God, this is why she hates hard drinks. Naglakad lang siya nang naglakad hanggang makarating sa banyo. After she peed, she stayed there for few minutes. Lagot talaga siya 'pag nahuli siya ng lola niya.

"Hoy! Nalunod ka na ba diyan sa inidoro?"

"s**t!" sa gulat ay nauntog siya sa pader.

"Anong nangyari riyan?!" nag-aalalang tanong ni Von Rix na nasa labas.

"Ba't ka ba nandiyan sa labas, ha?!" sigaw niya habang himas himas ang noo.

"Sinundan kita, okay? I was worried. Hindi na maayos lakad mo."

"Hindi naman ako pilay, ano!"

"Lasing lang."

Sa inis niya ay binuksan niya ang pinto.

"Sinong lasing?!" she angrily said as she met his gaze.

"Wala, hindi ka lasing just drunk." He said while smiling.

"Tabi!" gigil niyang saad at nagmartsa palabas ng banyo.

"Hintayin mo 'ko!" sigaw ng binata.

She ignored him and continued walking. She's pissed because of him. Kanina pa siya nito pinagtitripan, nakakapanibago. Well she's an extended family member of his. Anak na ang turing sa kanya ng mga magulang ng binata. Not because she was related to him but because of his sister. She's present in every ocassion of his family, kahit pa outing nandoon siya. Sa lahat ng okasyong kasama siya he never dared to talk to her. Now he's acting like they were close.

Nakabusangot siyang umupo sa buhangin.

"Tagal mo, ah." Komento ni Ange.

"Dahil matagal ka, sa 'yo na 'tong tagay." Marc said out of the blue at inabot sa kanya ang baso.

"Umuhi lang ako, akin na agad?" pag-ungot niya.

"'Kala ko tumae, ang tagal mo, eh." Marc answered.

She rolled her eyes. Ano pa nga ba? Akmang lalagukin na niya ang baso ng may pumigil sa kanya.

"Akin na, nauuhaw ako." Aniya ni Von Rix at inagaw ang basong hawak niya.

Her mouth was wide open. Nagulat siya sa ginawa ng binata pero mas nagulat siya kasunod nitong ginawa. Hinawakan nito ang baba niya at marahan tinulak.

"Bibig mo nakanganga. Baka may mapasok na kung ano."

The next she knew everyone was screaming. Hindi magkandaugaga sa sigawan. Kahit si Ange ay marahan siyang hinahampas. Mas nahilo siya sa sigawan. She shook her head lightly.

They continued their drinking session. Kahit siya na hindi sanay sa hard drinks ay hindi maka-hindi. Lagok lang siya nang lagok. She almost screamed when one of them ask if they could go home since it's already three in the morning. Ubos na rin ang alak kaya napagpasyhan ng lahat na kumain muna ng lomi bago umuwi. She was already worried, her Lola wakes up at five am in the morning o minsan mas maaga pa roon.

Hindi niya alam paano siya nakapsok sa kotse basta ang alam niya lang ay hilong-hilo na siya. She closed her eyes and let her body relax.

"Akala ko malakas kang uminom?" singit ni Marc.

She opened her eyes, "Sinabi ko ba? sabi ko lang umiinom. Hindi ko sinabing malakas akong uminom. Saka pwede ba? Magdrive ka nasusuka ako sa pagmumukha mo."

"Pangit!" parang batang asar ni Marc.

Ange was beside her, closing her eyes. Mukhang hindi lang siya ang tinamaan. Hindi niya pinansin si Von Rix na panay ang sulyap sa kanya. She just closed her eyes and relax. Pakiramdam niya ay ang gaan gaan ng katawan niya isang tulak lang sa kanya tumba na siya.

Halos kalahating oras bago sila nakarating sa lomihan. Mas pinili niyang huwag lumabas sa kotse at mahiga nalang. Kahit ilang pilit sa kanya ni Marc na lumabas. Iilan sa kapit bahay nila ang sumama pa para maglomi ang iba ay maari umuwi o baka hinatid pa ang mga babaeng kasama.

"Lumabas ka riyan, Ave."

Hindi niya pinansin ang nagsalita sa halip ay mas pinikit niya pa ang mata niya.

"Ave, mas masusuka ka kung hihiga ka. Mas mabuting humigop ka muna ng mainit sabaw para naman mahimasmasan ka."

Mas naging malinaw sa kanya ang boses. It was Von Rix again, pestering her.

"Eh, ayaw. Nasusuka ako." Pagmamatigas niya pa.

"Isa, makinig ka sa 'kin. Oh, baka gusto mong buhatin pa kita palabas? Maybe, we'll stay here in the car. You choose."

"Lalabas na!" singhal niya at mabilis na bumangon na dapat hindi niya ginawa dahil mas nahilo pa siya.

"Baliw! Sana dinahan-dahan mo pagbangon, ano? Eh, di mas nahilo ka." Von Rix commented.

Inalalayan siya nitong bumaba kahit gustuhing umangal ay 'di na niya ginawa dahil hilong-hilo na siya. She everyone's eyes was on them. Hindi na niya pinansin ang mga ito at umupo sa bakanteng upuan, tumabi sa kanya si Von Rix.

They were all busy eating. Habang siya ay sabaw lang ang pinagdiskitahan. Hindi na nga niya hinihipan panay subo lang siya ng sabaw.

"Ano ba 'yan. Mapili ka sa pagkain. Paano na kaya 'pag naging mag-asawa tayo." Von Rix out of the blue commented.

Nanahimik lang siya. Baka kasi hindi siya ang kinakausap nito. She busied herself with the Lomi.

"Ano ba 'yan bingi pa. Paano mo maririnig ang nga sasabihin ko 'pag nanligaw na 'ko sa 'yo, Ave."

That moment, when Von Rix mentioned her name. She raised her brows and glared at him.

"Baliw ka?" she said while gritting her teeth.

"Kailan pa naging, baliw ang pagpaplanong mangligaw." Von Rix grinned.

"Uy, ano 'to? Biruan pa ba 'to o totohanan na?" Ange said while smiling at her amusingly.

Von stared at her, ni hindi ito nakangiti o nakangiwi. Seryoso itong nakatitig sa kanya. "Ano sa tingin mo, Ave?"

She gulped when she realized his gaze lingered on her. Biruan pa nga ba 'to?

WOULD you rather act asleep or not when you're stuck in an awkward situation? Ave doesn't know what to do anymore. They were playing stupid games and here she is now stuck with her ex, Von Rix in a freaking room. She doesn't know what to do! Five years had past and she still love him! She tried dating but she still longs for him. Pero masyadong ng malabong mangyari ang makabalikan sila. Von Rix dated and dated for five years while she was still stuck in the past.

"Kumusta?"

She jolted when heard his voice.

"I'm fine," she answered and plastered a fake smile. "Ikaw, ba?"

"I'm doing fine, tagal na rin nung huli tayong nagkita."

Nakayuko siya at yakap-yakap ang tuhod. "Yeah, it's been five years since the last time I saw you."

Inangat niya ang tingin, she saw him looking at her while smiling.

"Ang tagal mong umuwi, marami kang namiss na mga pangyayari. Maraming pagbabago ang nangyari sa nakalips na taon. Ikaw rin nagbago kana, kung dati you love coloring your hair with different colors. Ngayon itim na lang."

Gusto niyang magwala. Gusto niyang manakit mg kaibigan ngayon. Alam niyang they are trying to pair them up. Hindi naman siya tanga para 'di maisip yun.

She sighed, "Let's cut the crap. Alam kong alam mo na they are setting us. They think we could still patch things up after five freaking years."

"Five years, ang tagal na nga nating magkahiwalay." Pa tango-tango pa nitong turan.

She rolled her eyes. "Matagal na, huwag mo ng ulit-ulitin pa. You should've said no to them."

He shrugged, "It's just a game. We lost and now we are facing our consequence. There's nothing wrong with tha–"

"Yes, there is! They are setting up us! Thinking we could catch things up!"

"Wala namang mali roon. We shared years together. Tama naman sigurong magkamustahan tayo? I was part of your life, I just wanted to know how are you."

She wants to choke him and smash his head but she just sighed heavily. Alam niyang naiintindihan nito ang sitwasyon nila but he's just denying it!

"It's not f*****g all right to be alone with your ex in a room! Especially if you're in a relationship!" she almost screamed.

"Are you in a relationship?" He asked. She almost choke on her own saliva.

"No! I am pertaining to you. Paano 'pag nalaman to ng asawa o girlfriend mo o ninuman."

He smiled, it didn't reached his eyes. “We've been together for four years, Ave. You were a part of my life, minsan kitang minahal. I just wanted to ask you how you've been. Not because I love you but I've loved you from the past. Wala naman sigurong mali sa ginawa natin ngayon? We're not having s*x, or anything just talking. Kahit papaano ay mahalaga ka pa rin sa 'kin."

Can someone just hit her with a car? or a freaking train? She just died. How could it happen? She's still in love with him for five years. While him? He already moved on. Telling straight to her face that he doesn't love her anymore pains her.

"If I was important to you, why did you drifted away?" she asked trying not to cry.

Hindi dahil gusto niyang makipagbalikan dito, she just wanted to ask him.

"I was scared, I'm sorry."

She looked straight into his eye. "Scared? Or you didn't love me?"

He shook his head. "No, I loved you. We were together for four f*****g years Ave. How can I not love you?"

Akmang tatayo ang binata, she shook her head. "No, stay where you are. Don't come near me or else babasagin ko 'yang pagmumukha mo."

"Fine," pagsuko pa ng binata."I loved you, Ave. I really do, it's just not maybe we are meant to drift apart. Look at you now, you reached you dreams! May bahay ka na, natupad mo na lahat ng pangarap mo para sa pamilya mo."

She wanted to cry, wail her heart out. Natupad nga ang pangarap niya puso naman niya ang nawala. Her initial plan was to only stay for two years but things happened.

"Yeah," She nodded. "Maybe it's the better. Maybe we're not meant for each other."

Maybe. Maybe on their next lifetime baka pwede na? Maybe in this lifetime she need to replace her heart a new one? But how? When her heart went missing five years ago? Hindi na niya ata kayang magmahal pa ng iba. When she already planned her life ahead with him?

Fuck life.

Fuck him for being coward.

Fuck her for still loving him after five years.

She wants a life with him but he wants a life without her.