Her Heart

Chapter Four

"AVE, Ikaw na ang maglead ng prayer." Ishie suggested.

"Anla, ba't ako?" reklamo niya.

Nasa isang beach resort sila ngayon. It was Ishie's cousin's birthday. Invited siya, well halos naman ng dumalo ay mga teenagers lang. Jay's parents aren't here, kasama lang nito ang asawa nito. Maagang nag-asawa si Jay. Wala ng nagawa ang magulang nito, kung saan masaya ang anak raw nito tatanggapin niya.

"Oo, ikaw na tutal pasok ka sa banga kay Lord," Chichi joked, Jay's wife. They aren't legally married dahil magdidisie ocho palang si Chichi.

"Hmm," she mumbled and nodded, may magagawa pa ba siya? Buti nga't pinayagan siya ng Lola niyang sumama kahit sambakol ang mukha nito nang magpaalam siya.

"In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy spirit. Lord, thank you for this day you have given us especially Jay for it is his birthday. You have given him another year to be filled with love, blessing and kindness. May you guide him and his family also the people who are here today. Bless the food we have prepared today, may it bring peace of mind and good health to us."

"Amen!" a voice shouted making everyone gigled.

She rolled her eyes, "Amen." She uttered again. Pakiramdam niya'y napahiya siya but she couldn't do anything tapos na.

"Kumain na tayo!" Jay said, nagkagulo na ang lahat. Kanya-kanyang kuha ng plato at kung anu-ano.

Umatras siya ng kaunti dahil nag-uunahan ang ilan. She just stared at them quietly. Hindi naman bago iyon sa kanya. Ilang beses na niyang nakasabay kumain ang mga kapit bahay dahil sa youth organization, she was the secretary. Alam niyang masisiba ang mga ito.

"Oh."

Sa gulat niya'y napatalon siya. It was none other than Von Rix again because of that move everyone stared at them.

"What? Aabutan ko lang siya ng pinggan, siya nalang walang pinggan." He said and handed her the plate.

Everyone went back to their business. Lumayo siya sa binata at kumuha na ng pagkain. Things change after that night, everyone in their place is teasing them ma pa bata o di kaya matanda inaasar silang dalawa. She would just smile or laugh but Von Rix? Sumasabay siya sa panunukso. Binaliwala niya lang kahit minsan ay naiilang na siya. Lalo na pagbumibili siya sa tindahan. Sa araw-araw na panunukso sa kanila ay mas lalo siyang naiilang. Kung noon ay inaasar niya ito pabalik, sa tuwing tinutukso sila ay kinakabahan na siya.

Matapos kumain ay nagkayayaang uminom. Ang iilan ay naligo at ang iilan ay sumabay sa inuman. She sat their on the corner nagpapakabusy sa cellphone niya. Bawat abot sa kanya ng alak ay tinatanggap niya. She couldn't say no nahihiya siya. Even it was a hard drink, pikit mata niyang nilulunok.

All of them were enjoying the moment, minsan ay sumasabat siya.

She kinda loved how they talk and jam. Masyadong kasi siyang busy sa school friends niya. Nakalimutan niyang may mga kaibigan siya mula pagkabata. Ayaw rin kasi ng Lola niya na sumasabay siya mga kababata niya. Ika nga nito baka magaya rin siya sa kanila. Kaya umiiwas na rin siya, not because she was afraid to be like them. She's tired of hearing rants from her parents and grandparents. Mabuti sana kung siya lang ang naiinsulto. Sanay na siya roon but her childhood friends? Just because some of them did not continued to study. Some of them got pregnant at an early age. Some of them choose to work than to study. Gustuhin niya mang sumagot sakit lang sa katawan ang aabutin niya. Her father has this rule: walang karapatang sumagot kung wala kang ambag. It was stupid but who is she to complain? Pinapalamon rin lang naman siya.

When her parents decided to live somewhere else. She stayed with her grandparents. It was less drama and stress. Nabunutan siya ng tinik, she was somehow freed, it was like the chain was remove on her feet but she was still stuck in a cage.

"Hey! Are you okay?" Ange asked.

She nodded, "I'm fine. Medyo hilo lang."

"Kung kami kasama mo parati dapat masanay ka sa hard drinks."

She grinned, "Hindi baka maiyak kayo 'pag sa susunod matatalo ko kayo."

"Ange, sama ka samin." Biglang singit ni Ishie habang papalapit sa kanila.

"Huh? Saan?" nalilitong tanong ni Angge.

"'Wag ka ng magtanong pa." Ishie answered and pulled Ange.

"Teka uy! Sama ako!" she protested but Ishie waved her hand.

"Bantayan mo si Shin. Nand'yan naman sila kuya. Hindi ka mag-iisa dito sa cottage."

Wala siyang nagawa kundi tumango at tahimik na naupo sa tabi ni Shin na nakayukyuk na sa mesa. Lasing na ito, gaya nita hindi ito masyadong sanay sa hard drinks. She roamed her eyes, she saw Von Rix holding a glass of liquor. He looked drunk already. Namumungay na ang nga mata nito at walang ibang ginawa kundi ngumiti.

She rolled her eyes when he catch her staring at him. Nagpanggap siyang dumudutdot sa cellphone niya kahit hindi naman niya halos mabasa ang nakasulat.

Tanggap lang siya ng tanggap ng baso. Hindi na siya umaangal sa lasa. Halos masuka na siya pero pinipilit niya ang sarili. She closed her eyes, trying to calm her senses but all she can her are screams. She opened her eyes and almost choke on her own saliva.

She's drunk, she thought she was seeing things. She tried to pinched herself .

Kneeling in front of her is Von Rix, holding a stem of gumamela. He was smiling, sa sobrang pagngiti nito ay halos mawala na ang mata nito.

Her friends were all screaming and she was left shock, she couldn't even move.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Her heart was thumping badly. All he can her are screams, everyone is looking at them, even the other people who's in the resort. She wanted to ask if this was all a joke but she couldn't find her voice.

She glanced at her friends, cheering for her to say yes and their male friends are cheering and laughing. She was thinking maybe it was all a joke.

So she smiled and without thinking more, "Yes."

They all screamed and she was laughing thinking everything was a joke. Even Von Rix was smiling, he stood up and placed the gumamela in her ears. It made her heart jumped.

She doesn't know if it was her heart that answered his joke or it was the alcohol kicking in.

Maybe it's just a joke... but it made her heart crazy.

"HEY, are alright?" Aena asked after she went to the toilet room.

"Yep." She smiled and took a glass of tequila.

They finished the consequence. She was proud of herself for nothing crying in front of him. Even a part of her died. She wanted to mourn but she don't want to appear weak. What can she do anyway? It's over five years ago. The drinking session continued they stopped playing games and just talked about what happened in the past five years. Ave never tried to glance at him. She couldn't let him see the sadness in her eyes.

"Hoy, nextweek birthday ng inaanak niyo. We'll be expecting all of you." Meira said and glance at her husband Jervy.

Right after they graduate, Jervy married Meira. They had a cute four year old boy named, Eivan. She was written as one of the God mothers but since she's away. She'd only seen Eivan photos on the internet and only meet him through video calls.

"Ikaw, Ave. Naku, Kinukulit na 'ko ni Eivan na mameet ka sa personal. He keeps on asking why are you always on the computer screen." Meira said while rolling her eyes.

She smiled, "I'll probably meet him. I missed his random calls."

"That kid always drives us insane. He's makulit and spoiled." Jervy commented.

If she hadn't choose to leave the country, maybe she and Von Rix already have a kid. Probably she'll have gray hairs, that kid would be like Von Rix who always stresses her. But that would be what if, they both knew the moment she choose to leave the country changes will occur. She's not wrong, they changed and drifted apart.

"By the way, this coming sixteen is my sisters birthday and house blessing. All of you should be here." She said and took a sip of vodka.

"Congrats, Ave!" Mary said, she raised her glass. "Congrats, Ave! And to all of us for surviving all the shits life threw at us."

"Cheers!"

It used to be good hearing that word. But Von Rix in front of her who's completely healed from everything. Samantalang siya ay nanghihinayang pa rin at nag-iisip ng maraming sana.

What if she didn't went to Australia and just work here in the Philippines. Maybe they could still work things out.

Maybe...

Wala pa ring kasiguraduhan ang tanging sigurado lang ay ang kwento nilang natapos na. Ngunit siya ay naghihintay pa rin sa kasunod na kabanata habang ang lalaking unang minahal ay nasa ibang aklat na.