Jane Doe - Dead or Alive

Chapter 3 – Leaving

Jane’s POV

I never was completely honest with Jase. Although I knew he was well aware there was more to my story than I told. He knew She was a beast, and he knew my brothers were apart of the abuse. But I never told him that.

I never told him what any of them did, how I lived or where. He just knew I never got to eat, wasn’t classed as part of the family, and wasn’t given basic living essentials. He did what he could. He was a good friend. He was my only friend. He never betrayed my trust.

So, when I got home that fateful day, I was surprised when Josh ripped my school bag from my back. He emptied the contents of it over the kitchen floor and the food and toiletries fell on the floor with the rest of my things.

‘I knew it’ he seethed.

‘Thief’ my mother scolded

‘No!’ I shouted.

‘WHAT!’ She screeched ‘HOW DARE YOU SPEAK!’

‘She’s no thief’ Jake mocked ‘She has a boyfriend’

‘Disgusting little slut. Washing for a boy. You are ALL the same’ She slapped me so hard I fell to the ground.

‘Teach her a lesson’ She said as she kicked me hard in the stomach ‘And make sure that boy stays away from her’

They threw me down the stairs and kicked, whipped, and beat me until I thought I was dead. But I wasn’t. I wished I was though. The pain and torment I went though in the days and weeks that followed was unbearable.

Apparently, I had the flu. That’s what She told the school. When I returned to school the teacher asked if I was fully recovered from it. I nodded and waited for Jase to come sit by me. I wanted to see a friendly face. I had been off school for two weeks. I missed him.

When he walked into the classroom, he had a cast on his arm and bruising on his face was yellowed. My eyes almost popped out my head when I saw what they had done to him, and this was two weeks later.

He didn’t even look me in the eyes as he took a seat at the back of the class, walking straight past me. It hurt more than I cared to acknowledge. There was a reason I didn’t have friends. Now I was reminded why.

They had hurt him, but only to hurt me. It had worked. I had nothing left. Nothing.

I wrote him a note and slipped it into his locker. I was done. I couldn’t take it anymore. Why bother to survive when I had nothing to survive for. I didn’t want him to blame himself. I didn’t blame him. I would have done the same thing.

I should never have let him in. I was fool to think they would never find out. I walked out of school and down to the tree line with the rope I had taken from the janitor’s closet. I made my way to the easiest climbing tree and tied the rope to the branch.

I took the other end of the rope and made a noose. I put it around my neck and sat on the tree branch ready to jump. As I started to fall, I heard someone call my name. Maybe it was an angel. Maybe I would go to heaven after all.

I felt someone’s hands on me as I gasped for breath. I blacked out. This was it. I was dead. Only, I didn’t feel dead. I felt hands on my face, wet dripped on my face. Was it raining in heaven?

‘Jane. Jane. JANE. Wake up!’

My eyes shot open, and Jase was leaning over me, tears spilling from his eyes.

‘Jase, why are you in heaven?’ I croaked out; my throat sore.

‘Jane’ he cried ‘you’re alive’

‘I am? I didn’t work’ I was disappointed. I couldn’t even do that right.

‘It would have, if I hadn’t seen your note in time. I saw you come here; I ran to catch you. I was almost too late’

‘Oh. You shouldn’t have done that Jase. Now I have to go home. I am late. It’s not good when I am late’ I said softly, wanting to sleep. My neck hurt, my throat burned, and I knew I was in big trouble.

‘You are not going home. I should have done more. I should have protected you. I should have never let you do this on your own’

‘It’s not your fault Jase. You’re just a boy’

‘And you’re just a girl. You should never have had to live like that. You’re coming home with me’

I let him take me to his mother’s house. We walked in and I was petrified.

‘It’s ok Jane. They won’t hurt you’

His mum walked towards me, and I flinched, bowing my head.

‘Jane, it’s ok love, Jase told me you have been having a tough time at home?’

I stood bolt straight and couldn’t hide the fear in my eyes. The fresh ligature marks clear to see on my neck.

His mother gulped at the sight of me and there was that look again. Pity.

‘Mum, don’t pity her, she hates it’ he sent me a small smile and it made me happy to know how well he knew me.

‘Jane, I am a nurse, can I look at your wounds and check you are ok?’

I nodded and she took me to the bathroom. I stripped off to my underwear, it was the first time I had ever shown anyone my body. My anxiety was sky high, but I wanted her to help me, the wounds on my back still hurt and I was worried they may be infected.

I turned around so she could see them, and I could see the horror glazed in her eyes.

‘Jane’ she barely whispered, ‘Who did this to you?’

‘Can you make them better?’

‘Let me go get my first aid kit’

She left the room and came back a few minutes later.

‘This is going to sting. But it will help them heal’

It hurt, a lot, but I refused to cry. I wasn’t weak. Whatever they said.

My ribs protruded from my top and I barely needed a bra. My hips jutted out and stomach growled in hunger.

‘Here’ she handed me some clothes ‘They are Hailey’s, Jason’s sister, they should fit you. When you are ready, come downstairs and we will eat’

‘Thank you’

When I crept down the stairs, I could hear them talking in the kitchen.

‘I have never seen anything like it before in my life. That poor girl. She must have been tortured her entire life. No wonder she tried to end it. How social services never picked up on it, is beyond me’

‘What are we going to do?’ Jase sounded concerned. I could tell he was trying not to get upset with what his mother was telling him.

‘Let her eat and rest tonight, she needs to feel safe. I will ring the social in the morning. They won’t be able to do anything tonight. They will help her. Send someone to her house, she can tell them everything and then find her a good home to be in’

‘She will be adopted?’ Jase asked, hopeful.

‘Well, she’s nearly 16, so that’s unlikely. Probably fostered, or she will stay in the children’s home until she is of age. They will help her find somewhere to live, get a job’

‘Oh’ he didn’t sound too sure.

Neither did I. I knew wat happened when Social services got involved, I had been down that road more than once. They didn’t help. They made it worse.

I had heard stories about kids my age in care and I would never allow that to happen either. Never. Everyone knew kids my age didn’t get fostered. We were too old. Unwanted. Was the story of my life. I wish he had just left me to die.

I walked into the country style kitchen having heard enough. His dad smiled at me, and I backed away. Men scared me, Boys scared me, woman scared me. Everyone did. Everyone except Jase.

I wanted Jase’s mum to be different, but she wasn’t. She thought she was helping. Which was more than She ever did, but his mother wasn’t helping. His mother was making it worse. At least at my house, I knew what to expect.

I ate in silence, and I slept on the floor in Jase’s room. His mother said it was ok because I need a friend to be near me. He offered me his bed. But I refused.

‘Please, take my bed, you can’t sleep on the floor’

‘I have only ever slept on the floor Jase. I have never had a bed. Please, let me sleep on the floor’

It sounded silly, but I didn’t want to know how good it felt to sleep in a bed. It would only make me wish I could do it more. I knew that was never likely to happen. It was better this way.

‘Oh. Okay’ he said with a sadness in his tone. I knew his mother had overheard; I heard the floorboards creek as she walked away from the slightly open door.

I lay awake until I was sure everyone was asleep. It was 3,30am. I crept downstairs, sure to miss the creaking floorboard outside Jase’s bedroom door, snuck into the kitchen and stole some food and water.

I left a note apologising for what I had taken and thanking them for having me in their home and I left.

Just as I thought I was safe, the front door opened, and Jase ran towards me.

‘Jane, where are you going?’ he asked out of breath.

‘Anywhere but care Jase. I’ve been through enough don’t you think? I wouldn’t survive it’

‘Oh. You heard’

‘Yeah, I heard’

‘I’m sorry Jane, I thought I was helping’

For the first time in my life, I felt compelled to touch another human being. I took his beautiful soft loving face in my hands ‘You did help Jase. You saved my life. But now I have to go live it and you need to let me go and live yours’

‘Jane’

‘Shhhh. It’s ok. I will be okay. Take care you hear. My brothers will be looking for me. I can’t risk them finding me. They will kill me. It’s best you stay away; they will hurt you’

I hugged him, and he gently wrapped his arms around my small frame.

‘I love you Jase’

‘I love you too Jane’

I turned my back and walked away. If he did look for me, he didn’t find me.

I walked the back roads and side street until I got to the city. I walked under a bridge and found a few homeless people huddled around a small open fire. I was scared and alone and I trusted no-one. I kept to myself but stayed near people.

It was 6am and I was too scared to sleep. People passed me by, and I held tight onto my bag. I couldn’t stay here. I just needed to rest. My brothers would find me here. I needed to go. I wasn’t safe, and I couldn’t protect myself.

I walked further into the city and as I came to the other side, I found a disused factory on some wasteland. I snuck inside and although I heard other people about, I didn’t meet any of them. I was good at being quiet.

All I had on was the clothes Hailey had lent me. Jeans, T shirt and hoodie. The only shoes I had, the scruffy school shoes at least one size too small.

When I woke, I knew I had to find some food. When I left the safety of my cupboard I walked straight into a young girl, possibly only a few years older than myself.

She had blue hair in a short bob, nose ring, tattoos and was chewing gum. She was about 5’3 so I was a lot taller than her, but I was still petrified.

‘Bobby’ she shouted ‘Come here, NOW’ she shouted. I was terrified. What were they going to do to me ‘See, told you someone else was here!’ she said as Bobby walked towards me.

He was taller than me, he wasn’t muscular, but I knew he could take me down if he wanted too. He had mousy brown hair tied in a ponytail with an undercut. He had an eyebrow piercing and tattoos on his arms and neck.

‘I’m sorry, I’ll leave. Please don’t hurt me’ I cried.

‘Chill little lady. We aren’t gonna hurt you, are we Blue’

‘Course not Bobby. This is Bobby if you hadn’t figured. You can call me Blue’

‘Welcome to Utopia Little Lady’ Boddy sang, with a smile on his face ‘Stick with us and you’ll be ok’

And that’s exactly what I did. The three of us remained close, like family and for the next 2 and a half years we navigated the streets together.