Their Mate And Luna

CHAPTER 37

REALITY

NICOLE

My bed has become my only physical refuge. My mind, the abstract one where I disappear into. There I find a peace that constantly washes over me, holding me spellbound. There I am not afraid of anything. Nor does anyone come. Unlike my bed, which can be invaded by someone's weight, their hands touching me, their breaths on my skin and their voices ringing inside my ears - all pulling me away from my mental sanctuary, stealing me from my beautiful peace.

They come to offer me food and comfort, encouraging me to talk. But what can I say? What do I have to say, when my thoughts are too broken to string letters together to say something? Who speaks after going through what I went through? Or going through now?

Uncle Oscar and Tim had to break the door when I locked myself in upon returning from the hospital, refusing to eat.

Who can feel the sweetness and tastiness of food after such an experience like mine? How can I discern where the taste of bread starts and ends, in Aunt Mabel’s sandwich, this afternoon? Or differentiate between the milk and cereal, Savvy brought to my room in the morning?

I can only register my mouth receiving a heap of it, my teeth clamping together, grinding the mixture together, making my cheeks go round before swallowing.

Waking up the second time to find my two mates hovering over me and showering me with affection was a great shock. One I am yet to get over. Doubt if I will ever get over it with how they’ve been coming to see me but my family refused to allow them. I am thankful for this.

Seeing them would only bring me flashbacks of painful memories I would never forget. Memories that destroyed an entire mass of knowledge I had come to amass. Making me realize that all I have learnt was all a lie. All my anticipations, desires and wishes were all a waste. Everything was a lie.

Your mate is not your better half. In my own case, mates. The ones the Goddess gave me are not my better half. She must have made a mistake.

When the realization dawned on me, it tore into my heart, ripping off flesh and infesting it with a disease. Unbelief.

A hand gently rubs my back, pulling me away from my thoughts. I didn't even notice the bed dip down. My hands hold tight to the soft pillow encased between them and my chest. Afraid of losing it and my current position.

"Nikki?" Mira’s voice is not the usual happy-go-lucky type I know her to have. It's soft and sad. Like she's afraid to speak to me.

I feel her move around till she’s facing me.

"I want to watch a movie with you," a small sad smile on her face and her deep blue eyes gazing into my brown bleak ones.

I know she's expecting a reaction. Though my brain processes what she just said, it couldn't form the words I know she wanted me to say.

"Savvy is going to join us. There's going to be tons of junk food and drinks. All the chocolate you want." She rails out, her eyes looking from one of mine to the other.

I close my eyes and turn over, backing her and taking my pillow along with me. Honestly hating that I have to change my position.

"You don't have to say anything. Just sit with us and eat."

My door bangs open with Savvy's scent pouring in.

"She's not game?" She asks. From the corner of my eye I see her walking to my bedside.

Squatting down beside me, she tugs at my shoulder gently. "Nikki, you have to get up at some point. Come downstairs with us and watch a movie. Please."

Mira scoots over to me, placing her chin on my shoulder and throwing her hand over my waist. "We miss you. I miss my gist partner. There's no one to tell my gossips to. And you still haven't met my mate. He..."

Savvy clears her throat at the same time I close my eyes and inhale deeply. Holding the breath longer before releasing it but not opening my eyes.

Doctor Mel is her mate and I am so happy for her that he accepted her. He has come to check on me few times.

"I am sorry, Nikki," Savvy whispers over my shoulder.

"Don't be," I can't believe my brain gave me the words.

"What?!" Both squeal in shock, with Mira jerking away.

Why should Mira be afraid to talk about her mate? If she was fortunate enough to have a mate who accepts and cares for her, I am not going to be the one to kill her happiness. It’s not her fault that my mates are jerks.

"That's like the only words you've said since you came back," Savvy tries to remove one of my hands from the pillow but I hold back. She stops after seeing my refusal to let go.

"And the sweetest. Thanks Nikki," Mira murmured rubbing my back once again. "Please come with us."

"Or I am going to carry you downstairs myself," Savvy threatens in her beta tone. But softer.

Not that it mattered. I just want them to leave me alone. From my window I can see that it is almost getting dark. A good time to sleep.

"Or we could have your dad bring in a tv into her room, then we can all watch it together," Mira suggests.

This riles me up. If it happens, I am going to leave the room for them and go somewhere else to sleep. Even if it's on the floor in the pantry.

"Great idea, Mira. Let me call dad and Tim," Savvy agrees then walks out.

On a normal day I would have screamed at Mira but even my mouth feels powerless to sigh, let alone scream.

"I will start to pack what we need." Just as Mira gets up, an idea occurs to me. When I hear the door close, I open my eyes and slowly get off the bed, dropping my legs to the floor. My joints screaming. My entire frame roaring in exhaustion, staggering as I stand on my legs that feel like they are full of liquid metal.

If I want to accomplish my plan, I have to get to the door before anyone comes back. Willing my legs to go fast and begging my mind and brain to assist me, I manage to reach the door. Resting against its smooth surface, I hold the handle and turn the key in the lock once, twice and stop. Releasing a satisfied breath, I turn off the lights, shuffle back to my bed and crawl under the covers. Enjoying the peace and quiet once more.

I close my eyes and take my usual journey into my mind where no one can come into.

I am well settled in when a loud thumping sound comes crashing in. Followed by another and another and another.

"Open this door, Nicole!" Savvy demands outside my door.

"She locked it?" That was my uncle's voice. I offer a silent prayer to somewhere to someone. That Uncle Oscar wouldn't break down this door. Again.

"Tim, hold this for me..." I hear him say and crawl deeper into the covers, craving for more peace. Bracing for what is coming next.

Footsteps come back and then I hear movement round my door handle. But it doesn't open. Good thing I left the key in the lock.

"Nicole, open this door right now," Uncle Oscar's voice comes out in a crisp tone.

"Go away, please," I cry out to them.

"No we won't." He says just before something or someone starts to slam against my door and in few seconds it falls down flat on the floor, making me flinch.

A flood of footsteps heads my way and someone pulls the covers away from my head, but I hold on tight.

"Let go, Nikki," Savvy yells softly at me.

"No," I yank it down towards me and we soon begin a battle.

"Dad, tell her to stop."

"Uncle, tell her to leave me alone. Leave me alone, everyone!" I didn't mean to scream but I just had to. I am tired of them invading my space. Stealing my peace.

A moment of silence reigns.

"Let go of the covers, Savvy." My uncle tells his stubborn daughter.

The moment she does, I pull them around me and rolled myself into a tight ball.