Burnout

SAVANNAH

I THINK I MIGHT VOMIT on this cream-colored desk. It is triggering my claustrophobia the second I immerse myself further upon the sight of nothingness that this room holds. Just some dull fluorescent ceiling lights partnering up with the grey walls that seem to get smaller and smaller over time. It seems as though I am a specimen to inspect or an object to experiment with and the thought of it already made my gut flip multiple times. My God, somebody, please remind me how to breathe again because I seemed to have forgotten it over the course of three months. Stop scratching your f*****g thigh, Savannah. But even if I tell that to myself over and over again, I know I will always be burdened- too burdened because of this thing that I never wanted to be involved, to begin with. Why can't I just think that it is really okay to scratch my thighs and break my nails because this is how my body responds to such events because this indeed is intensely unsettling.

The door creaked and clicked, as the sound of Officer Frank's boots made contact to the floor that was too clean, it almost glimmered. He took a seat on a chair in front of me. "Miss Savannah Buscemi, pleased to meet you. I am officer Frank." Officer Frank's voice is raspy as if he had been talking all his life and this is the evidence of exhaustion on it.

"I know that already," I blurt out. It didn't provoke him at all but I instantly regretted what I said the moment it slipped from my mouth. "I'm sorry Officer Frank, I- I-" I trail off and gave up the moment I can no longer find the words. I scratch my thigh once again.

"I can see that this situation can be difficult for you, but see, Miss Buscemi or Savannah, whichever you prefer, as long as you will tell me the truth we can take this lightly, would that be alright?" The way he spoke softly subtly eases the kindled fire within me so I nodded.

"So, with the basic knowledge, I found out, you, together with your nine friends went on a trip to Bayhedge to plan out how each one of you will run away. May I know what sparked you to be involved in this and how?"

I said yes but I don't want to remember how.