My Royal Assassin

Chapter 4: You read my Journal!

Chapter Four

Sahara's POV

After the talked my mother and I had; about my forthcoming coronation, I packed the things that were left in my old room because mother said that I, as a new Queen, need to have a much bigger one for myself, so she ordered some servants to clean and decorate the new room and the others help me pack my things.

I am currently finishing arranging my clothes in this new walk-in closet when a knock is suddenly sounding outside my door.

I stand up and stretch my arms, sighing, and walk towards the door.

I'm just wearing a royal blue floral dress and a magenta flat.

I opened the door to see Noah; one of the most trusted people here in the castle.

He bows at me and I rolled my eyes, because I hate it when he does that, and he knows it but still doing it anyway.

"Princess Sahara, did you get all of your things here already?" he asked.

I nodded

"Yeah, I just finished packing my things."

"Very well princess," he bows again. "I'm going now, I have an important visitor to welcome in." I furrowed my eyebrows in curiosity.

"Who? is it another royal family in the north again?" I suggest but he shakes his head. "Then who?"

"A very famous world adventurer and he's here to document our lifestyle, cultures, and information about the royals," he said, I still raised my eyebrows, indicating for him to say his name. "Caelan Álvarez"

I look at him confused. I don't hear or know that name, if he's famous at least there is something in my mind that would click.

"I don't recognize that name," I state. "Are you sure he's a real adventurer?"

He nod

"Yes. In fact, your mother knows him and she is very excited about his arrival." I was about to open my mouth but a servant stops in front of us and bowed her head.

"Your Majesty, I apologize for interrupting but the guards informed us that the new visitor is here," she said. I look at Noah to see him already nodding his head.

"Ok" and the servant left us again. Noah looks at me again.

"That's my cue, I will leave now."

"Oh, okay" and then he turns around and walked towards the left side of the hallway.

I closed the door and walked towards my new white silk king-sized bed and flopped down, sighing.

My coronation is soon and I don't think I can handle it. The pressure of leading a country is too much for me. Besides it is not what I want and I don't think I can do it, there are others out there; like my cousins or aunts, uncles, who are more willing to rule this country.

But me?

No way, but I can't exactly say that to my mom. She wanted me to be the Queen and expected me to be the Queen, and I don't want to disappoint her. I want her to be proud of me and the only choice I have for her too proud is for me to be the Queen.

Even if it means sacrificing my dream.

I sighed

Suddenly, there is that feeling again, the feeling of frustration, anger, sadness, longing, and pain. All that feeling surging through me all at once.

I grip the bedsheet with my right hand and put the other in my chest. I inhale and exhale to calm myself down.

My journal, I need my journal

I stand up and look around almost frantically. I open every cabinet and drawer but I can't find it, even in the boxes that are now empty.

Where is it?

My eyes widen. Is it in my. . . no, it can't be. . . it can't be in there. I made sure to packed everything. But if I packed it, it should be in here.

I groan

I can't go back there. I'm sure that the adventurer is already in my old room; resting. But maybe not, maybe Noah is with him explaining things. Yes. I could ask Noah, so I don't need to talk to the new visitor.

I sigh and stand up, heading for the door.

My old room is not that far from my new one, so a couple of walks and I should be in there already.

I turn to the left side of the hallway. While walking I noticed that all the servants are looking rushed and busy, and I know why, they are preparing and planning my coronation.

Why it is always my coronation?

And just then I also realized that there is no backing out. All of them are prepared and I should be also.

I reached the white door of my old bedroom with my heart pounding in my chest rapidly. Going back to my bedroom brings back old memories of me being in there; most of them are me crying of unknown depressions and anxiety.

I knock loudly. Because what if they are talking and do not hear me knock?

I heard some shuffling inside, I tap my left foot impatiently, and finally, the door opens. I immediately speak.

"Noah? I think I forgot my journ. . . " I stop, my eyes widening.

My breath hitched quietly

In front of me is not Noah but a man, a man I had never seen before.

I saw him froze and slowly look up and his eyes widen. His eyes, the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen in my life. Deep blue ocean eyes, and to my surprise, he held my stare.

I analyze every inch of him, carefully. He is tall, much taller than my 5.6 height, and is about 6.4 tall, with a lean and muscular body. His hair color is a dirty blond that looks so soft, I wonder what it would feel like to brush my hands in there. His eyebrows are thick and he also has long eyelashes, and finally, I look down at his lips, full and pink.

And suddenly, I shake my head feeling like someone had slapped me and wake me from my dream. He also shakes his head realizing the matters and cleared his throat.

"I, uh, sorry" that was me who spoke first. "I thought Noah is here." I wanted to look down in embarrassment but at the same time, I can't. It's like my stare is glued to his, and those eyes are so hypnotizing.

"It's alright," my eyes widen again after hearing his voice and the uncontrollable pounding of my heart is back again. His voice is rough and strong. "Do you need anything?" he asked, raising an eyebrow with a stoic face.

Ouch

Why do I feel like this? Like my soul and heart is yearning for him. My hands are itching to be touch by his and my cheeks are waiting to be kissed by his inviting lips.

I shake my head, internally scolding myself. I need to stop thinking like this, he is just a visitor, and I need to stop thinking like he is my long-lost lover that has finally returned.

My heart soared just thinking about that.

I heard him cleared his throat, and just then I realized that I am not still responding to what he had said.

"Oh, uh, um, yeah, yeah. . . uh" I stutter, just looking at him stops my brain to function; I'm sure that my mother would be so disappointed if she saw me like this, and just like that, I snap out of whatever this feeling I felt, just thinking of my mother's opinion.

I straightened up and look at him with a serious expression.

I curtsey

"I apologize for my lack of respect. Please let me introduce myself. I am Princess Sahara Philopator and. . . you are?" I asked.

He seemed surprised by my sudden change of expression and emotion but quickly recovered and slightly bows.

"Caelan Álvarez, your Majesty." his gruff voice said.

I chuckle and wave him off

"Ohh please stop the formality, just call me Sahara or Princess Sahara because it would be weird for others hearing you just calling me Sahara." he just nods, his blue eyes flashing.

"Anyway, I came here because I forgot my. . ." I stop, noticing the brown leather journal on his hands.

That's my journal!

Another feeling of shame and embarrassment washed over me again.

Did he read it?

"You forgot you're what?" he asked with a raised eyebrows.

I gulp and pointed at the journal in his hands, he looks down at it and realization washed over his face.

"Oh, This is yours?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I kind of forgot that when I was packing," I explained.

"Here," he reluctantly gives me the journal, like he doesn't want to give it to me just yet.

Oh no, he already read it!

I took the journal from his hands and move my own to its leather cover. I look down at it and trace my hands to the ' journal ' words that are written in cursive writing.

I lookup

"Did you. . . did you read it?" I finally asked, and grip the journal, dreading the answer.

He looks at my hands that are now red because of how tight my grip is, and looks up at me again, crossing his arms.

"Yes," he said bluntly. My eyes widen and I feel like I wanted to run up to the tallest mountain and jump to die.

Because this is the most embarrassing moment of my life.

Please God, just let the ground swallow me alive.