The White Rose

5. Words

My last mission had gone great even dough I had to do it alone. The Order was using the new software to finde the persone behind the recent attacks. They were still uncertain of who or why but at least now we had the tools to answer all of our questions.

As I walked by the entrance Chiara called my name, she was the gate keeper, a job that seemed quite boring and exhausting but she seems to always be proud and give her best efforts. She gave me a small envelope that had my name. A latter ? For me? I had never recieved a latter. - Seems like you have a secret admirer- she said with an excited voice. I hurried to my room and liked the door, could it be? Could it be the mystery guy with the captivating eyes? I opened the letter like a kid opens a present. I started to read..

“Dear Amelia

I write to you because this is the only way I may be able to take you out of my mind. Ever since I met you I was captivated by your persona. It’s as if you where a magnet that was pulling me close just by getting near. I’m usually a composed man, and I can assure you I am not a pervert. I’m just a honest man that seems to be quite corny.

I know we’ve only met twice and you have your duties. I don’t intend to distract you or change your life course, I just want to know you. Having said that, I would be honored if you were to give me the little time you have for yourself. I know the circumstances are weird and it’ll probably be hard to get to know each other, but I think it would be worth it.

We could start by sending letters , which I assure you I will continue doing even if you don’t answer. I think you’ll get to see that I’m worth the efforts. If not I’ll leave you alone and understand that at least we tried.

So consider this a love letter. Cheese, hearth full, romantic, cathartic, emotional, sinciere and a little bit selfish. And know this won’t by my last.

With all my heart, Anton. The mystery guy. “

L O V E? Wh…at? Is he crazy? How could he write something like this and send it to the Academy. What if someone else had read it.

That letter shifted my hole world. A world so clear suddenly became beautifully confusing. I felt lost but at the same time found. I couldn’t tell him I had felt something to. What if my career was affected. What if the White Rose didn’t approve. I had so many questions but I knew they all had one answer; I don’t care. I read the letter four more times and then stared at it for a hole hour. When I finally decided to reply my efforts where embarrassing. I would write two or three phrases and then crush the hole paper and restart. He made it seem so easy but it definitely wasn’t.

I could think clear so I decided to take a walk. As I went out to the hallway I bumped into Sophia. She seems kind of confused about something but before I could ask anything she said - Amelia what is different about you? - Had she noticed? Was it so obvious ? I didn’t know what to respond and just stood there. Then I remembered the oath I had made, no secrets and no lies, I had to tell her I could not hide it. -come in - I said as I opened my rooms door.

We entered the room and she seemd kind of surprised, I guess she didn’t know that my room had different accommodations than hers. I showed her the letter and she read it a couple of times. She didn’t seem as shocked as I thought. - Write back - as she said that she was already holding a pen and a paper in her hand. - I tried, but I’m not good at this. It’s my first time even weighting a letter, and even worse, having this feelings - she looked at me with her big eyes and then told me I only needed to think about him and about me, as individuals with feelings. She seemed so expert in the topic that I kept her words in a loop in my mind the hole night.

Finally, I got it. I was going to be me, my self, he said he wanted to meet me, so why shoul I think so much about something just to please him. So I started writing.

“Dear Anton :

I see you are quite foward and decisive with what you want. I can apriciate a sincere person so I’ll be a part of your proposal. Besides it would be wired to just receive letters and never answer them. I can’t tell you that I feel the same, but I can’t deny it eather, so will just leave it in between.

Also I think it would be better and safer to not involve our complete names. So I’ll call you Os from now on. As you know I’m a member of the order and that comes with some risks. You can decide yourself how to call me and I will notify the gate keeper so she’ll know that they are for me.

Sorry if I’m not as warm or emotional as you but it is how I was raised. I hope you don’t find it mean or awkward.

I’ll do my best to keep up but I cannot assure you that I will answer every letter the same day that it arrives.

Hope to hear from you as you promised

,Amelia “

I’d sounded so crappy next to his letter but I didn’t trust him yet, and for me to open up he first needs to earn it. I wasn’t going tell my feelings to a stranger. I just hoped I didn’t scare him away.

The next morning I put the letter in an envelope and copied the mailing address in the previous one. I took it to the nearest post office and sent it. My heart started beating faster the moment I dropped the letter on the mailbox. Was I excited or scared? I didn’t know, maybe both, but it felt good to feel such strong emotions.