Have You Wonder

Luke's POV

I was taken aback when Enzey left me with a goodbye kiss in the air. I wanna be mad, I wanna get mad at her. But I'm pretty sure she's suffering within, much worse than I feel right now. That's why I can't.

No matter how much I wanna blame her for hurting me this way, I can't help but think of what she feels right now.

I start the engine and begin driving aimlessly. I don't wanna go home yet but I've got nowhere else to go. But one thing's for sure, I have no plan to go home tonight.

I stepped at the accelerator and put my anger on driving fastly. I almost lose my footing when the traffic light turns red. Good thing there is no pedestrians by that time.

I looked around outside the car while waiting for the light to turn green and this resto-bar caught my attention. So I tried to pull over and check on it. There's not much of a crowd so it's best to place to hide and get myself drunk. That way, I could forget about this pain even for a few seconds.

I took a sit on the high chair in front of the bartender. He greeted me and ask what would I like to drink. But I've got no idea what to have for tonight because I barely drink on my own.

"How about a glass of whiskey, Sir?" He suggested and I just agree without even knowing what it tastes like.

"Here's your whiskey, Sir." He slides the glass in front of me and is served with a plate of different cheese.

I tried to take a sip of it and I feel like I just had a taste of hell. I gulped hardly to get my money's worth and took a bite of I don't know what type of cheese is this to ease the bitterness that sticks to my tongue. I wonder why do people love drinking alcohol.

The bartender smirked at my reaction so I tried to control my facial expression on the next sip. My heart is ripped into pieces so I won't let my pride gets ruined as well.

I took one sip after the other and in no time, I finish around six glasses off on the rocks whiskey and I can feel that my eyes face is getting numb. I guess the alcohol starts sinking into me real bad. But why does my heart still feel like being squeezed? I thought alcohol could help you forget anyone, but why doesn't it work on me?

I took my phone from my pocket but my screen feels broken. The display is kinda smudged and it feels like waving as the ocean does.

"Ex...cuse me..." I called out to the bartender who couldn't stay still while facing me. Why can't he just stand straight?

"Yes, Sir. It seems like...you're a little bit...drunk." He commented but I didn't mind.

"Can you seek someone who could fix my phone? I think the screen is broken. I can't see Enzey's number. I need to talk to her." I managed to speak but my tongue feels like getting numb as well. I just hope he understands me.

"Alright, Sir. Enzey, you say?" He smirks as he tries to do something with my phone. Does he even know how to fix that phone? I wonder if he also knows how to fix a broken heart...

I keep staring at him and I think he was able to fix my phone. I can see that he was calling someone but he gets blurry as time goes by. I tried to blink multiple times but my eyelids feel so heavy. I rubbed my eyes but I still see things blurry. I tried to look around and it feels like everything's spinning.

I looked back at him and he was looking at me while talking but I couldn't hear him clearly. All I can hear right now is various inaudible echoes from the people in here.

I tried harder but now my head feels heavier. I...I...wanna... go to sleep now.

========

"Luke...hey, wake up." I think I'm dreaming. I can hear Enzey's voice. I must have been missing her even in my sleep.

"Hey, let's go. The cab will arrive in five minutes." She said. Why does this feel so real?

The voice suddenly disappears and I feel like I am moving. I wanna open my eyes to see if it was really Enzey, but my eyes were so stubborn. They don't cooperate at all. I just wanna confirm if that's really her.

The next thing I knew is I am lying on my stomach. But this feels like it's not yet my bed. I wonder where am I right now and who's taking me away from Enzey.

I can hear an engine start, but still, I can't open my eyes so I just let myself fall into a deep sleep.

"Luke..." I can hear a weak voice calling out my name. I wanna move around to see who was it but I can't. My body feels so sore and weirdly, I can't even move my hand.

Am I being paralyzed by drinking six glasses of whiskey???

"Luke...Please. Wake up..." Her voice gets weaker as she taps my cheeks, trying her best to get me back into my senses. She must have been having a hard time waking me up.

The smell of something's burning makes me suffocate and cough for my life. What's going on???

I tried to open my eyes once again and this time, I successfully opened them slowly. I squint while looking at my surrounding. This seems so unfamiliar. It's not the resto-bar or my room. So I wasn't dreaming when I heard that engine starting. Somebody might be driving me home.

I tried to move but I couldn't until I heard the siren of an ambulance. The liquor is making me dizzy so I couldn't assess what's going on but what I'm sure is I am not in a good place.

I tried to move again but I feel like my hands and feet were stuck onto something. I can't even flinch no matter how hard I try.

"There's one old man and there's a woman." The guy from the situation who seems to be from the rescue team shouted.

Hey, Mister. There are three of us in here. Please, help me.

"There's another guy from the backseat, too." Another guy shouted. Thank God, they noticed me getting stuck in here.

They start pulling us one by one but while they were putting someone on the stretcher, I saw a girl's hand fall beside her. It was the lifeless hand that made my heart pound so hard. It feels like there's something in that hand that makes me feel disturbed and nervous.

When we were in the hospital, I heard the nurse saying that one of the passengers from the car I am with has expired.

And as far as I know, when they say expired... it means... somebody passed away.

Just by the thought of it, my heart feels like squeezing and I... I... couldn't forget the hand of the lady from the stretcher. I wanna know who was with me in the accident.

Of all timing, why does it have to be right now that I couldn't speak up my mind??? I wanna ask a lot of questions but my tongue doesn't work the way I want it. D*mn it!

The next time I opened my eyes, I can see the sun shining so bright. As if I just had a bad nightmare last night. I was about to stretch my arms when I saw this tube in my left hand. So... that was not a dream.

"Excuse me..." I approached the nurse who just come in.

"Would there be any chance you'll know in which room is the patient in that was brought in here with me last night?" I queried inquisitively with a begging stare in my eyes.

"I...Uhm... which patient are you about?" She clarified.

"Both." I blurted.

"I'm afraid you could visit them both because the other one... last night..." The nurse hesitated.

"Has expired." I finished her sentence and she was in awe that I knew that. She just slowly nodded as a response as she feels bad about me knowing about it while lying in here helplessly.

"Just... will you please... please... let me know in which room is the survivor?" I begged and she looked at me full of sympathy.

"By the way, I put your stuff inside the cabinet. Fortunately, your phone is still working as it keeps receiving a call since last night." The nurse informed me.

I browsed on my phone and while I was browsing the call history, I was in a deep shock and dropped the phone on the floor. The last person I talked with was Enzey.

So the girl from the stretcher right after they pulled me out from the car.... that lady-like hand that falls beside the stretcher while she was being brought to the ambulance... the reason why it bothers me the moment I saw it falling lifelessly...

I immediately pulled the needle from my left hand and run out of my room. I panic as I heard the room number run like a mad person without even knowing which floor would it be. All I could ever think of is to see who survived aside from me and who's the one who passed away that night. Because if it was Enzey... I will never forgive myself.

I'd rather kill myself than hear that she...

I pressed the button on the elevator vigorously. I ride on the elevator while ignoring the blood dripping on my left hand.

Please....

Please, Enzey...

Please...

I run and opened the door with all my strength and I was shocked to see who's lying on the bed.

I was praying on my way here that it was you, but...

I'm so sorry, Enzey.

I'm so sorry.