Have You Wonder

Car Accident

I rushed into my bed as soon as I come into our house. Good thing, mom and dad are already sleeping so they will not witness my puffy eyes. Though tomorrow, I'm pretty sure it will be so swollen.

I peek through my window to see if Luke is still out there but he's all gone. I just hope he will drive home safely.

I took a shower even if it's so late and look at my phone to see if I receive any message from Luke. It became a habit for these past few months. And I am actually disappointed that there's no message from him. But what do I expect? After what I did to him, he will probably hate me to the bone.

I was drying my hair with a towel when my phone suddenly pings upon receiving a message. I immediately looked at it hoping it's Luke but it was from Kree. Now, my heart feels like ripping for the nth time. Look at the mess you've just made, Enzey!

I can't stop beating myself emotionally and mentally. It's 2:58 AM and the sleep is not yet visiting me. I mean, if I have a conscience, I shouldn't get decent sleep when the two of them must be dying inside for what I did.

I was staring blankly at my ceiling as I am reflecting on what just happened today and I was reminded of my conversation with Luke.

While he was asking me "How much time do you need?", I was praying deep inside that he wouldn't say he is willing to wait no matter how long. And that reminded me of myself seven years ago, when I was begging the same thing to Kree.

So this is how he feels back then. This is how it kills you inside to hear someone saying how much he blindly wants to wait for you to come back even though you have no idea how long will it take for him to wait for you. The guilt you feel for making someone wait endlessly is a big torture. And I despise him that much without knowing a thing.

I guess this is how karma teaches me the lesson.

"No! I will let you have the time you need but you have to let me wait for you to come back. That's the least you can do for me."

It's not the least I can do for Luke but rather, that's the least he deserves from someone like me, making him wait unknowingly whether I would come back or not.

When I said, "And what if... I couldn't find myself coming back to you?" he answered, "Then, call me and tell it to me face to face. Because right now, I can see through your eyes that you want to come back to me... from being a little bit lost..."

I badly wanna say that yes, I wanna come back to him but I didn't dare because I don't deserve someone pure, sincere, and very loving person like him. Not after what I did with Kree back then. I'm not sure if I could take care of his heart. What if all I will cause him was nothing but pain and heartaches? I don't wanna hurt him anymore like the way I did a while ago.

My thoughts get interrupted when my phone suddenly rings. I jumped out of my bed and saw that it was a call from Luke. I wonder if he's safely home right now. It's been hours since he left.

"Hello??" I answered the call while panting from so much excitement and nervousness at the same time.

"Hi, is this Enzey?" The unfamiliar voice queried.

"Yes. Who's this, please? And why do you have Luke's phone? Is everything's fine?" I asked inquisitively because I feel something is going on.

"Everything's fine, Ma'am. Except that your boyfriend is so drunk and he keeps telling me to call you." The guy explained.

"Alright. Will you please send me the address and I go there as soon as I can." I asserted.

I immediately changed my clothes, pick up my phone and wallet then left the house without any hesitation. I didn't even tell my parents where am I going in the middle of dawn. All I can think of right now is Luke and his safety.

After an hour, I arrived at the pub and saw Luke wasted on his seat. He must have been drinking a lot to see him passed out.

"Hi, I'm Enzey." I greeted the waiter and he realized I was the one he was talking to a while ago.

"Here's his phone, Ma'am." He kindly gave back Luke's phone and I thanked him for taking care of this young man while I'm on my way here.

I booked a cab while I was trying my best o wake him up but he doesn't budge at all. He must be really sleeping from being exhausted emotionally.

After a few minutes, the cab arrived so I tried my best to walk him towards the car as I put his arms around me but he's too tall and heavy for me. I asked the bartender if he could help me out and good thing he was kind enough to agree.

While he was putting Luke in the backseat, he suddenly lie in there as if it was his bed. So I have no choice but to take the passenger's seat beside the driver and start the engine.

"You and your boyfriend must have a little quarrel, seeing how he gets himself wasted." The driver blurted out.

"You may be right with the quarrel but not with the boyfriend thing." I protested.

"Oh, really? I doubt. No lady would get herself up in the middle of the dawn just to pick up the mess of a guy, especially a drunk guy unless it was his girlfriend or wife." He commented.

"But I'm afraid I'm neither of the two. I don't deserve to be any of it." I mumbled while looking at Luke who was soundly sleeping in the backseat.

I looked back right in front of us when a beam of blinding white light is slowly approaching the car we are riding in. The driver tried his best to move away from the truck that lost its way and crosses our lane but he lose control and bumped into the side rails.

I am crying in pain with all the blood rushing through my face and the driver is unconscious. I tried my best to move but I can't make a huge move. I tried to slowly look at Luke who was lying on the floor of the car, unconscious. I wonder if it is just the alcohol or is it because of the physical trauma when we bumped on the steel side railings.

My vision starts getting blurry but I tried to slowly shake my head to avoid myself from losing consciousness. I have to make sure that Luke is okay before I fall asleep.

"Luke..." I weakly called him out but he is still unconscious.

Please, Luke. Get back to your senses before I lose mine.

"Luke...Please. Wake up..." My voice gets weak and I doubt I could wake him up anytime soon.

I tried to move a little bit more but the crumpled car door is pressing me on my seat. I couldn't move any further.

I tried to extend my left hand, trying to reach for Luke's face. I tapped his cheeks multiple times and fortunately, he coughs out as if he is getting back to his senses. I smiled as I see him moving but my lids get heavier. I tried to blink multiple times but it's getting harder.

Finally, I can hear the siren of the ambulance which could rescue us right now. I just hope Mr. Driver is still alive. And I just hope I can still see the sky after having a great nap today because I don't think I can hold this up any longer. It tires me out to hold this sleepiness. What's important is Luke is okay. And there's nothing I could wish for right now.

I start blinking heavily as I was looking at him. I can see him speaking but all I can hear was an inaudible echo. I tried to smile to make him reassure me that I'm okay but my eyes don't cooperate. They shut off on their own.

I guess that's it.

Goodnight, Luke.