Have You Wonder

His Side

I was cleaning my room when I heard her scream in the kitchen. So I immediately run towards her, thinking she was in an accident or sort. And as soon as I arrive, I saw her wiggling her hand which seems to be burned from the lid.

"I just touched the hot lid with my hands. Nothing serious." She brushed off but I took her hand without hesitation and looked at it intently.

I put it under the flowing water from the sink and blow it off to ease the pain. I focused on blowing onto her hand but I can sense that she was looking at me intently. I almost forgot how she despise me but I grabbed her hand without any hesitation. So I thought she will pull it back immediately.

Looking at me this much feels heart-fluttering. It was the first time, that she looks at me this way since the day I appeared at David's wedding. I thought she will never look at me this way, ever again. My heart is pounding crazily right now from ecstasy.

"If I were to give up on us just because you say so, then I'm crazy. Who's crazy that will easily give up when you, staring at me that way, makes my heart flutter like how I feel seven years ago?" I blurted while focusing on blowing her hand.

"I prefer being called crazy than being hopeful over something spoiled and shattered," She grumbled.

That's one hell of a jab, Enzey!

It hurts to hear you say that but see you acting differently today. I'm not sure if you are confused or you just come up with the conclusion for what we had.

"I still believe that our story is not yet on a period. We are just in a pause, a semi-colon on our relationship." He said.

She pulled her hand abruptly as if she doesn't like where this conversation leads us.

We finish eating the pork sinigang she cooked and it was undeniably delicious. If I just didn't doubt what we had back then, I'll probably be the luckiest guy who goes home with a wife who cooks mouth-watering foods each day.

We conclude our meal with blueberry cheesecake. She paused for a few seconds as soon as I served it on the table as if it reminded her of our sweet little memories from seven years ago.

Believe me, Enzey. I'll never get tired of coming back to how we were back then. Because every moment shared with you is a moment to remember for a lifetime.

She insisted on washing the dishes so I just walk to the living room and watch Netflix. It's been a long time since I feel so full from a great meal and I enjoyed it a lot. Now, my lids feel heavy as if it pulling me to get some nap. It's been a while since I feel sleepy so I let myself visit the dreamland for a while.

I was having a great nap when my sleepyhead get interrupted by her, pulling the remote from my hand as carefully as she can.

She turned off the television when she suddenly tripped off by her own feet and lose her balance. I almost laugh when she fell her butt off the floor. I tried my best not to laugh so she won't catch me faking it.

But as she was sitting right there, she starts looking at me in my sleep. Then she starts tracing her finger onto my brows down to my eyes and then to my pointed nose. Her hand moves smoothly as if it has a memory that reminisces its traces from seven years ago. I told you, Enzey. What we had back then is too real to give up just like that. You can't brush it off as if it never happened. Because believe me, I tried but it's impossible.

She brushed her thumb onto my cheeks so I moved a little and turn to my side so she will have a full view of me. But she took away her hand and was about to stand up but I grabbed her wrist in a flash which made her fall onto me. She tried to stand up thinking that I was just dreaming or what as I keep my eyes shut but I tightened my hand onto holding her. I buried my head onto her shoulder and she was stuck just like that. She tried her best to pull back but I didn't let her go.

Not this time. At least for the last time.

"Ten minutes," I mumbled and that stopped her from moving.

"Give me ten minutes and I'll let you go. Just give me ten minutes and I'll set you free like you want me to. Despite how much it will pain unbearably." I begged.

I'm hoping that this is not where it will lead to but I don't want to bother her anymore. I love her sudden visit today but I know it is just out of her kind heart. Right when she pulled back her hand a while ago, when she avoided my claim, I know. I can see through her eyes that her decision doesn't change. She didn't waiver, she is just being kind to me. And I appreciate it.

Maybe it's time. I'm not giving you up but I will wait for you to come back on your own accord. I will be waiting for you until you want me back again. No more pushing, just waiting.

Instead of pulling away, she starts leaning her head on my chest. I miss this warmth. I miss the gentle touch which always makes me feel like I'm home. I miss her forever.

"Seven minutes." She bargained which made me giggle. I'm trying my best to hold back these tears from coming out.

Now, I only have seven minutes to feel her on me. I only have seven minutes to make her feel the warmth I failed to provide from that seven years wasted. I only have seven minutes to make her feel the touch of my love that never fades away throughout the time.

I gently tap her back as if we were frozen at that moment for who knows how long. I didn't think seven minutes can be this fast but for the last time... for the last time, I want to feel her warmth embracing me. The haven I'll be waiting to be at... someday.

I gradually loosen my grip and slowly remove my hands from holding her while wishing at the same time that she will stop me from moving away. I want us to stay that way but I don't have the guts to say so. I carefully pull her away from leaning onto my chest and our eyes slowly meet. My heart melts as I saw her eyes clouding up with tears. I didn't expect these tears but I feel like she is not yet ready to accept me back.

I glide my hand onto her cheeks as the tears escape away. One teardrop after the other, her eyes keep welling up and I couldn't help but to let go of these tears I've been holding back as I see her breaking down in front of me.

I hugged her tight one more time and she hugged me tighter. I painfully gave her a soft long peck onto her forehead and we keep tearing up.

"I'll keep waiting until the day you look for me. But since you want me to leave you alone, I'll grant your wish." I giggled as I tried to joke while we both messed up from crying.

She slowly lean her face towards me until her soft plump lips landed on mine. I missed these lips which used to be mine.

I know I shouldn't but I just can't hold back from this love-drunk feeling we are having right now. I just hope we will never get sober from this anymore, even if it will take forever.

I stay still for that long heart-breaking smooch but her lips moved as if waiting for my response. Her hands clenched onto my shirt as it landed on the chest. So I immediately claim her lips like the way I used to as if I still own them.

This deep and warm kiss feels so familiar as gasped in between our breath-taking french kiss. My hands slowly stroke onto her back while her hands start strolling onto my shoulder.

Those kisses, those strokes, those panting in between our never-ending kisses... it demands more. It's shooting for more.

I pulled away for a moment to get some air while our foreheads are leaning onto each other. I was looking at her but her eyes were closed while catching her breath.

So I immediately lifted her and our eyes met with this burning desire, shouting for each other. I am looking straight into her eyes but it shows no sign of objection.

I bring her into my room and lay her carefully like a delicate flower. I slowly lean onto her and she starts burying her nails onto my back as if nothing is gonna stop us now.

I was on her, looking straight into her eyes as we continue exchanging this wonderful moment. I stroke my hand down to her waist glide them down to her thighs and lift her legs to deepen my thrust in between her legs. Every second feels forever as our body moves harmoniously like the way we do back then.

Her hand travels from my back down to my hips as if demanding for deeper sensation. She must have missed me a lot as I do.

You still want me, Enzey. You still do and I do. So what's stopping you from accepting me back?

I start unbuttoning her blouse and she starts reaching for the hem of my shirt when she suddenly stops. She opened her eyes abruptly as if surprised by what's going on.

"I...I'm so...I'm sorry." She pushed me away and run towards the living room. She fixed her clothes and took her bag as she left my pad hurriedly.

I was left dumbfounded sitting on my bed as I brushed my lips rigorously from so much shock and disappointment.

I wonder what's wrong or what did I do wrong? I thought we are good, Enzey. What's with the sudden mood swing. You are driving me crazy!

When I gather myself back from so much shock, I tried calling her but she didn't pick it up. I have a lot of questions lingering in my mind but they are all left hanging. Fleeting questions that only Enzey can resolve.

I tried calling her and texting her but she never answered back. I guess that's it.

That night, I guess all we had is to seal our goodbyes with our lips.