Winning Back His Queen

Heartbreak

Chapter 6

Ezekiel’s pov

It may have been a stupid thing to do forcing my presence on Lilith, but I couldn’t stop myself. I had less than a week to convince her not to break our bond, and I couldn’t do that without seeing or speaking to her.

I was surprised that Cassie was so welcoming. Even the rest of her family was more open to me being around them than they had been since I slept with her bi.tch of a cousin. I had not been welcome around them after that.

I only got an invite to the crowning as it was compulsory to invite the leader and their heir to them. It gave me a chance to try and talk to her and show I was no longer an inconsiderate mam wh.ore. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t even be within 10 feet of me.

So this was my last chance, I had to get her to at least speak to me and hear me out. I had no idea what to do or say. There is really no justification for my actions, but I had to try, or I would lose her for good.

This wasn’t about my people or even ruling. The moment I saw that she had given up on us in her eyes, I realised that I couldn’t live without her. Lucifer wouldn’t speak to me for months, until I proved to him I had changed and Lilith was the most important person to me.

It was quiet and lonely while he was gone, I felt so empty not having him, and thinking I had lost Lilith for good. I watched my parents more and realised just how special and amazing the mate bond really was, and I may never get to experience it.

It didn’t go down well with Lilith, especially when I knew her routine and made sure I was where she was going to be. I was hoping that she would get so sick of me that she would speak to me and hear me out even if it was just to get rid of me.

I finally managed to get her to stop and speak to me, and it didn’t go well at all. She didn’t care about what I had to say, and I don’t blame her. Her eyes were full of fire as she verbally put me in my place as she let me know the effect of my actions on her.

I thought my heart was broken listening to her words and seeing the look of sheer exhaustion in her eyes. Nothing prepared me for what happened next. I didn’t even know she could share memories, especially this vividly, I could see and feel everything she had.

I don’t know when I fell to the floor, or when she left me there, all I could see was all the ways I had hurt her and how it felt like she was being repeatedly stabbed in the heart with a knife from the time she was a young teenage girl.

With how I ridiculed her looks and laughed at my friends comments, she heard it all. I am surprised the girl has any confidence with the way we heartlessly tore her down bit by bit. The worst was that none of it was true. We were just immature di.ckheads.

She was the cutest baby I had seen even to this date. She was an adorable toddler, a pretty little girl and teenager. She also became the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Just because I wasn’t comfortable being her mate because of the age difference, she didn’t deserve to be made to feel like that.

I could feel her hurt from the age of around 16 when she smelled another woman on me, then the pain as she saw them draped on me. Soon, she became numb to it, I could even feel her acceptance of it with our cultures.

Then I felt the utter heartbreak when she saw me fu.cking that woman right outside her room in the open. Her face never showed the pain, but I could feel how much it hurt and then how much she cried afterwards. I felt sick.

Then it was memory after memory of each time she caught me with someone, I have never felt so disgusted in myself than I did now, seeing what I was doing to her through her eyes. No wonder she can not stand to be with me.

The final nail in my coffin was when I saw the memory of me and her cousin on her bed. Even to this day, I hadn’t fully realised it was her room that that bi.tch took me into. This time, along with unbelievable hurt, I also felt so much betrayal and red hot anger.

Then finally I saw myself with the woman she hated, probably even more than she did her cousin. Regina’s sister, hell, I can’t even remember her name. I hadn’t known how much she had hated her until I saw it from her eyes.

She had always been protective of her friend. Her friend was the same with her. The crazy bi.tch had threatened to set me on fire with her phoenix flame. I only flirted with the girl to get a reaction out of Lilith, which I felt I had failed to do yet again.

The last few memories were filled with numbness. She had shut herself off to the point that she felt numb any time she saw me, as she tried to avoid me. She was desperate not to feel anything that she actively avoided me.

I came to in a sweating heap on the floor with tears of pain flowing from my eyes. At this point, I didn’t care who saw me in my vulnerable state. All I cared about was the pain I felt, the pain I had put her through. Lucifer was whining in my head like a hurt puppy.

I knew that I should let her go, so she wouldn’t be in any more pain because of me, but I couldn’t. I had fu.cked up so damn much, but being her mate, I am the only one who can fix this and make her feel whole and healed.

I had no idea how in the hell I would do it, but I was determined, and Lucifer was for once on my side. Not for my sake, mind you, he was just desperate to see our mate healed and happy. I needed to do whatever I could to make it all right.

I didn’t really sleep that night, so I was exhausted at breakfast. I knew the moment she walked into the room, hell, I smelled her well before she got here. No matter how desperate I was to see her, I felt too much shame and guilt to look into her eyes.

I stayed away from her as Lucifer and I still hadn’t managed to figure out a plan. To be honest, I was lost, and I couldn’t work out the path to take me out of the impossible maze I had found myself stuck in. The worst thing was I knew I was the one to put myself here.

I was unhappy that dad appeared and asked me to leave. That was the last thing I wanted to do. If I didn’t see her, how could I change her mind about me, even just a fraction, to give me a bit more time, to convince her not to reject me in a couple of days' time?

He assured me, though, that he would talk to her and get her to postpone the rejection for now. I had no choice but to trust his words. I mean let’s face it, right now she was much more likely to listen to him than she was me.

So with a heavy heart and just the smallest whisper of a hope, I sadly said goodbye to my mate and mother. Praying to anyone who would listen for dad to be able to change her mind long enough to prove myself to her.

I felt miserable when I got home. Her scent was nowhere in this empty place. I was glad that I had snuck a hoodie of hers into my bag before I left. Her scent clinging to the fabric was the only thing that was keeping Lucifer and I sane.

Many of the demons I passed looked sad and dejected that I was back, alone, I don’t blame them, I felt the same. I could see the hope in their eyes die, and I am sure that same look was reflected in my own eyes, please dad work a miracle.

It was a very long 5 hours until my parents appeared back home. Neither of them look what you would consider happy. In fact, they looked guilty. I wasn’t sure if it was because they had failed or because they had succeeded.

I know how much my parents loved Lilith. She was the daughter they never had. I knew even if they succeeded in getting her to change their mind, they would feel guilty for the pain this would cause her, even if they knew it would make her happy in the end.

I was relieved when they said that they had not only managed to get her to hold back on the rejection but also to talk her into moving here for her training. Now, I just had to make it through the next 9 days until she would be here.