Forever and Always

Chapter Eighteen: Archer

Archer

I rushed out of my house after leaving Gage and Taylor at the creek. I needed to stop at home and change and mentally prepare myself for what I was about to do. All that echoed in my mind was that she needed me. I needed to get to her even though I’m more pissed than I have ever been. I’ve been letting everything stew in my mind. My blood boiling, face as red as a fuckin’ stop sign. My hands were balled into fists so hard I started to break skin with my nails, but I didn’t give two shits. This ends now. I knew something was f****d up when I made that traffic stop with Gage last week. My gut was screaming at me to follow the fuckin car and figure out who the hell it was.

I slammed open the door to my jeep and sped out of my driveway, leaving skid marks. My phone was blowing up with messages and calls, but I didn’t dare answer them. I don’t know who was lying to me and for how long. I can’t trust anyone. They have all been hiding secrets from me, whether it be years, months or weeks. Secrets are secrets and secrets this severe fuckin’ hurts to the core, especially after everything I’ve done for them.

I was on the verge of a breakdown. How could this have happened? Why would they do this to me? It’s so beyond f****d up to the point where it’s almost uncomprehendable. I drove down the road in complete and utter silence until I pulled into Art and Ava’s house and instantly wanted to turn around. They were all here. I didn’t need an audience when I did this, but if that’s what they want, then whatever.

I sat in my car for a couple of moments, gripping the steering wheel as tight as I possibly could. All the thoughts were running through my head. Are they moving here permanently? What is she planning to do? Where are they going to live? What about us? Is there an us?

Fuck. I just wanted to know the answer to the biggest question running through my mind. Why?

WHY?

I stormed up to the door of their house. Normally I would just walk right in. They’ve learned not to get freaky anywhere but their bedroom because those two horndogs have been walked in on one too many times and not just by me.

How those two only have one kid together is beyond me. At this point, they should have their own football team.

I paced back and forth in front of the door, running my hands through my hair, gripping and pulling. My hands were shaking and my stomach was churning and the next thing I knew, I was running over to the railing on the side and throwing up into the bushes.

I heaved and heaved until I was dry heaving and that hurt even more. Footsteps echoed behind me and I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me freeze. “Let’s talk before you do something you’ll regret.” Art said softly behind me, “There’s more to everything that it seems.”

I stood up straight and turned around, wiping my mouth with my shirt, “Well, it’s good to see you with clothes on.” I laughed.

“Keep that s**t up and you can get the hose now and clean up your goddamn puke instead of waiting for later.” He glared, “Sit.”

“I don’t have time for this.” I groaned, “I know she’s here and we need to talk now. There’s no way in hell I’m waiting another day for her to run again without so much as a fuckin’ why and to get answers to everything I need to know! I deserve that much! Especially after finding out about Frank? Months later? It’s all beyond f****d up!” I started to raise my voice but Art just sat on the swing giving me a look that basically said, ‘really dude…really?’

“Sit your ass down, now, Archer.”

“What do you know?” I asked softly, sitting down next to him.

He shook his head, “Not our business to tell.”

“Have you seen them? Are they here right now?”

He nodded, “Yeah. They were spending time with Phillip and Ava and before you ask, no, no one else is here. Their cars are here because…actually…I don’t even know why.” He laughed, “It’s like they all just pick a driveway for a night and just say f**k it.”

“Is this what happens in your thirties? Because if it is, then I’ll die now.”

“You’re going to eat those words once you step inside. But let me lay down some rules right now. I’m not doing this to be a d**k because I know this is a tense situation, but I’m doing this for his well-being. No screaming. No yelling. No fighting. Listen to what she has to say and please, please keep an open mind.”

“So, you know what happened?” I asked, feeling a bit pissed that I wasn’t the first one she told.

He shook his head, “No. It wouldn’t be right. As far as I know, the girls know and so do Dylan and Jordan. I opted not to listen to the story until you learn the truth.” He shrugged, “Ava and I are going to take the kids out for some ice cream.” I snapped my head up and looked at him and I knew he was taking him too, “You two need to work your s**t out first before you scare him. Stay out here and once we’re gone, you can go inside and Archer, remember, second door on the right.” He said and I just looked at him confused.

He got up and went inside. I heard some mumbling and footsteps and then the door opened back and the sounds of little feet echoed in my mind as I saw the two kids running to the car with Lucas rolling his eyes behind them, acting like he was too cool for ice cream. Ava came over and gave me a hug.

“She’s broken too…more than before, from what I can tell, and you’re the only one that can fix her, Archer.” She kissed my cheek and walked away.

“Remember, second door on the right.” He laughed.

The car drove away, and I sat outside for another five minutes gathering the strength and courage to face the only woman in my life I ever loved.

I closed my eyes, stood up and walked into the house to be met with a dark living room with only the light from the fireplace. And there she was, sitting on the couch with her back towards the door, hugging her knees as she laid her chin on top. Her shoulders were shaking from her crying.

“Jo…” I whispered. She slowly turned her head and that’s when I saw it. It was all in her eyes. Everything we’ve been through led to this very moment. My breath hitched when I saw her. She still looked beautiful, more beautiful than what I could remember, more beautiful than when I saw her earlier today. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and her eyes were red and puffy but I that moment, in the raw emotion, I knew I was done. I knew it was her. I fell all over again.

Hell, it was always her, and we all knew it.

“Archer…” She cried out in pain, snapping me out of my trance, making me rush over to her. I sat on the couch in front of her and grabbed her hands and held them in mine. They were cold, so cold, but I was determined to warm them up, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”

“I have two questions for you and I want you to answer them honestly. Once those are answered, everything else will fall in line, and we can take care of everything else together. Are you ready for those two questions?” I asked. She nodded her head, not bothering to wipe away the tears from her eyes, “Is he my son?” I whispered, even though I already knew the answer. I just needed to hear her say it out loud.

“Yes.” She whispered after sitting there in silence for a minute.

I closed my eyes and did everything possible to hold down all the feelings I had swirling inside me.

The happiness and sadness. Hurt. Elated. Pissed off. Relief and confusion. I closed my eyes, gathering everything in me to ask this next question. I looked at her, and she was just looking at me, pain radiating in her own eyes. I took my hand up and cupped her cheek and she closed her eyes and leaned into my hand. I rubbed my thumb against her skin, basking in the fact that she’s here sitting in front of me. After all those years searching for her, she’s here. She's mine, and I'm never letting her go, ever again.

“Do you love me?” I whispered, my lips trembling.

She slowly opened her eyes and with tears, she whispered, “I never stopped.”

I snaked my hand in her hair while my other hand snaked under her legs and pulled her right into my lap. She straddled me as I never stopped touching her. My fingers were massaging her hair and scalp as the other one rubbed circles on her waist.

“We have a lot to talk about. I have a lot of questions that I have to have answered.”

“I am ready to tell you everything. I just…can you…can you forgive me?” she asked.

“Did you purposely keep him from me?” she closed her eyes and nodded her head. The pain that radiated through my chest was something I never experienced before. I was about ready to pull her off me because of how angry I got at the moment, but I stopped and remembered everyone’s words, that there is more to the story than I know.

“Before you jump to conclusions, I have a reason and once you hear everything you will understand. But Archer…I want to come home, officially. I need to come home. He needs you and even if I can’t be with you because of this, if you can never forgive me, I understand, but don’t, please don’t take it out on Jamie.”

“Jamie…” I whispered with a smile. I looked into her eyes and I wanted to be mad. I wanted to hate her but I couldn’t. There must have been a good reason for her to do this. Because I know her. I know for sure she would have told me if she could. I know for sure she didn’t do this to be malicious.

Some people might think I’m batshit crazy for forgiving her ,then so be it. Call me fuckin crazy because I am…for her.

And she’s mine.

I pulled her head to mine, slamming my lips on hers, feeling my entire body light on fuckin’ fire as she kissed me back just as eagerly. I licked her lips, begging for her to let me in and without hesitation, she did. We sat on the couch making out for what felt like seconds and hours at the same time. With every movement we made, she moved her hips into me, making me grow more and more painful to the point it was very hard to miss.

Her hands rubbed down my chest, over my shirt, until she reached the hem of my shirt, ripping it off me. Her fingers trailed up my abs to my chest, tracing her touch to my shoulders and down my arms while she was eye f*****g me the entire time.

“Are we doing this?” She asked, “I just…I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”

“The only thing I regret is losing you for the last five and a half years. And Jo, once we do this, once we go upstairs and I take you in all the ways I imagined since the last time we were together, that’s it. No more running. No more secrets. It’s me, you and our son.”

“Do…do you mean it?” she asked, “You don’t even know everything…”

“Baby, it’s always been you.” I kissed her again, “And I will in time, but I know you. I know you have a good reason for everything you do, and I’ll try my best to keep an open mind.”

“But…what about…what about your other…”

“Stop.” I whispered, “Tara is not in life. She hasn’t been there in a very long time and I will explain everything. We will have a long conversation about it all, but right now babe, I need you.”

“I…I’m not on birth control and I don’t have condoms and…”

“Are you dating someone?” I asked.

“No.”

“When was the last time you were with someone?” She blushed and looked down, “Hey…I won’t be upset. You don’t owe me any explanation of what you did over the years. It’s your life. I’m only asking these questions because I didn’t bring anything.”

“You…” she whispered, and I just closed my eyes and smiled, “What? I know…I’m pathetic. It’s just…I dated but nothing felt right and with Jamie it was just.” And I shut her up with a kiss.

“You were the last person I was with, baby. And now, you’re mine. Hold on tight, baby girl, because tonight, we’re gonna have a wild ride and tomorrow, we spill our guts and cry.”

I stood up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her upstairs, second door on the right. I laughed, shaking my head as I pushed open the door, stopping in the doorway.

Candles lit the room and we both just looked and smiled at each other.

Damn, I love my friends.

But I love this girl more and now it’s time to show her how much she means to me because we have five and a half years to make up for and tomorrow, we will worry about what happened.

I just have a feeling I’ll be kicking someone’s ass sooner or later for this because some fucker did something to her to make her run off with my son…our son..

Jamie.

But as I laid her on the bed and kissed her again, she pushed my chest and shook her head, “I want to…” she whispered, desperately, “I want to do this so badly, but I can’t, we can't, not yet.”

I pulled away, shock on my face, “What…”

“I want to clear the air before we do anything, Archer.” She sighed as she sat up, “I love you and I never stopped, but there is so much we need to talk about and I can’t do this with you until you know everything…I’m scared…”

I cupped her face again, looking deep into her beautiful eyes, “Why are you scared?”

“I’m scared once you know everything, I’ll lose you…”

I kissed her forehead and leaned my head against hers, “Baby, I’m not going anywhere, promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

I let out a sigh and smiled down at her, “Okay. I promise I’ll listen to everything, and until then, we will pause this, but Jo, you’re home for good and I’m not letting you go this time.”

And with a nod of her head, we laid on the bed and just held each other in our arms in nothing but content silence. I felt whole for the first time in forever, but I knew, this was just the calm before the storm.