One more time : Where Oblivion meets Obsession

#23 – THE ENGAGEMENT

—9 years Ago—

—Toronto, Canada—

"What? How? Wh-"

"Well, if you’re crazy enough to propose to me after knowing me for less than a month, I'm crazy enough to accept."

I shook my head violently. "Please stop this Amaan. What are you doing and why are you doing it?"

He heaved a deep sigh and said, "Myra I am sorry I did not accept your love that day. I loved you then and I love you now. It's just that... I was a coward. Not brave enough to accept the truth, to accept my feelings but as time went on, I realized I have no existence without you. I am as deep into this as you are. I know it was very selfish of me to worry about my family and everything else in between but I wanted to see you happy. I thought we would be happy apart but we can't. No, we can't." He said holding my hands.

Again, a whirlpool of emotions stirred in my stomach at his touch. Should I trust him again? Is it that easy? "How can I trust you again Amaan? If you leave again, I would be able to survive that. So, if you want to leave, do it just now." I said weakly looking down.

Like Shakespeare said, 'The course of true love never did run smooth.' Did it? He should have understood that. There are always problems and challenges in love. It's either differences in ranks, or blood or years or families, or communities or something else. And withstanding them is the test of love.

My suffering has made me mature and wise. I've realized that life is not always a bed of roses. It doesn't always give us what we want. And when it does, we should be grateful, and also smart enough to take it before everything changes.

To err is human, to forgive divine. Unsure that he had me convinced, he continued blabbering, "Listen... I know I am dumb, silly and you are too beautiful, smart and everything to be mine but I still dare to love you. I know you have better and more eligible men in line for proposing to you but this is not a race or selection for something. When it comes to loving you, nobody can beat me at that."

I threw my head into his chest and cried hitting his chest. "Don't ever do that again!" I cried.

Because this is how we humans are. We may hurt ourselves and others for our anger, ego, our pain but in the end, when the world calms and silences to the sound of our own heartbeats, we all want the same things: comforting arms, everlasting, affectionate love and a peace knowing our heart is safe. And I know trusting him won't be a mistake. I'm going to trust my love.

I was about to say something when a loud thundering voice boomed, "Myra!" Dad yelled in rage, his voice defying his age.

"Dad!" Seeing him like that, I felt all the energy being sucked out of my mouth and my knees going weak. He came over and pulled me by the wrist away from him. "What the hell is going on here?" He asked angrily. I've never seen him like this. He has never raised his voice at me. Tears blurred my vision and I started to speak, "Dad I can explain. Give us a chance." I asked slowly, trying to calm him down. Tears found their way through my cheeks which softened dad's heart and he nodded.

"You!" He pointed at Amaan. "Can come inside." Dad snapped and walked inside while Amaan tagged along. This is going to be an uncomfortable situation.

***

—Present—

The memory won't let her sleep now. It was a long night for both of them. They were tossing and turning, thinking about each other, the impact they have on each other's lives and about the uncomfortable moving apart thing. Myra was restless. She sat up frustrated in the bed and leaned back a little. 'What is happening to me?' Myra thought.

'I have to go. Get this out of my head. I have to go back, report to my seniors and continue my life as it has always been... where no one is important but me, no feelings matter, no heart interferes, only me and my logical decisions, perfectly made plans.'

"What happened?", came his loud voice startling her. She looked around, and saw him taking a seat there, after lighting a lamp. "Are you okay?" He asked and she nodded.

"I am fine... just not feeling sleepy." She said as He sat beside her.

"Any reason?" He asked.

She shook her head, "Nothing just thinking about the consequences and reasons for this."

He said with a chuckle. "We can always guess the consequences and we always know the reasons."

"What?" She asked.

"Yes. Whatever happens to us is a return of whatever we do. So, I guess you do know why you were attacked." He spoke.

'Man, he is smart!' She sighed in frustration.

"Are your legs okay?" He asked slightly, touching her toe, examining a little.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"I..." he continued hesitantly, "Ahem... I wanted to take you somewhere tomorrow."

"Where?" she asked curiously.

"I will tell you. Would you come?"

"I will come with you." She replied confused. It was better to go with him than dealing with curiosity.

"Okay then. Thank you." He said getting up.

"Shahmeer?" She called.

"Yes?"

"Can we... get alcohol there? I'm in desperate need." She asked hopefully. Now when the drugs were wearing off, she was going back to her addict, smoker self.

"No." He replied flatly.

"Cigarettes?"

"Wha-?" He restrained himself from saying anything. "Learn to live without it. It's no good for your health." He replied with the same intensity walking downstairs.

***

—Shimla, India—

—Some small house—

"I should get going." Shermon said placing a bunch of rupee notes on the nightstand.

"Hm." The woman on the other side of the bed hummed.

"8 times this year." She said pulling the duvet over her bare self.

"I didn't know a woman like you would keep a track. That many men must enter this chamber on a daily basis?" He retorted fastening his shirt buttons.

"Still not angry." She said after his rude comment.

"You shouldn't be. Because it's the truth."

She chuckled darkly. "No. Because you are original. You do what you come for and leave. Give no hopes, utter no nonsense. Makes clear trade. Complete your business and push me away on the other side of bed. You are my reality check. I'm thankful for whatever brings you here. Heartbreak? Regret? Pain? Loneliness?"

"I pay money and you let me use you. Do not concern yourself with me more than that." He said tapping the table to bring her attention to the money and left closing the door with a bang.

***

—Forest—

—Log Cabin—

As morning set in, Myra was happy and curious about his conversation from last night.

"So... Are you ready?" He asked and she nodded. "Let's go then." He said excitedly when his eyes fell on her slippers.

"Um... Myra we have to go a long way. So..." he asked, walking towards her.

"So?" She asked.

"Wear this." He said, pulling out a pair of simple canvas shoes from below the sofa with his leg. "Sit down."

He made her sit on the couch and gently helped her put those on. Surprisingly the inner soft coating did not sting her toe injuries.

***

True to his words, they kept walking a long way, far away from the Cottage.

"Are we there yet? she asked, tired. "Almost." he replied.

"Now..." He excitedly held her hand and said, "come here." and gently moved the shrubs and tall grass to either sides revealing a beautiful site.

Myra stared at it wide eyed in a daze. It was a beautiful lake, originating from a little rivulet which was tearing its way from between rocks on either side. It was the most beautiful sight anyone could ever see. The mild winds, the rustling of trees, plants, rhythmic chimes of Birds, the sweet melody of water gushing down the rocks all laced with the comfortable, musical silence. It was a small waterfall but beautifully flowing. She tried to step in the water in amazement when he reminded her of the bandages and took her to a huge nearby rock just beside the lake and made her sit on that.

"Wonderful." She said amazed and kept staring for a few more minutes for the beauty to sink in. "Shahmeer, I have traveled to so many parts of the world, witnessed the most beautiful architectures, manmade and natural wonders, explored natural niches but nothing managed to capture my sight like this one. I had started to believe that there was no scenery that could leave me awestruck but I was wrong." She said sincerely and he smiled.

"Glad you liked it. So, was it worth the walk?" He asked, leaning back a little on the rock.

"Absolutely." She replied. "And Thank you." Myra said, overwhelmed.

"Oh no. I owe you this." He shook his head.

"I am not thanking you for saving my life. I am thanking you for this wonderful experience I had in the past few days. When this moment becomes a memory, it will be one of the few best memories I have."

He smiled at those words. Not every day Myra smiled, said thank you and behaved like a normal human being.

She had left that person, that perfect life behind. Long ago.

—9 Years Ago—

—Toronto, Canada—

—Myra's Mansion—

I and Amaan told Dad our whole story while Dad and Mom silently listened. I could say they weren't pleased at all. At least Dad wasn't. And mom would never go against him. Whenever she tried to say something in his favor, Dad gave a glare and she sighed, went silent.

It is the first time I had lied to them. In their eyes, I was still their little, naive princess who could be easily swayed by anything. But I was not. I wish they could peek into my heart and see for themselves what Amaan means to me.

It was Dad who broke the silence. "What about your family? Will they accept my daughter? I heard Asians are very conservative when it comes to such matters. They want their children to marry within the same race, religion, country and even community. What you both share is frowned upon. My daughter can't deal with this hatred. She has been brought up in so much love and care." He declared flatly.

"I know Uncle-"

"Mr. Grey." Dad corrected sternly while I helplessly looked on between them.

"M... Mr. Grey, if our bond was weak, it would have been broken by now. But no, it couldn't be broken by our absence around each other, distance, or this long stretch of time. And I know Myra deserves better but... she doesn't want better. She wants me. I'm hers and she is mine. And I promise to love and cherish her as long as I shall live. And about my family, they love me a lot. I'm sure sooner or later they'll accept our relationship." He completed and I couldn't leave his eyes. How simply and beautifully he explained how much I mean to him.

"What if they don't?"

Amaan stayed silent. He was blank. That question had been lingering in my mind too but I didn't want to break his confidence anymore.

"What if your family doesn't accept my daughter? Will you abandon them or will you abandon her?" Dad repeated again straight away. He was a family oriented man, but so was Amaan.

"I'm hoping for the best. But still, if they don't agree, I'll leave with Myra. We would start our new life on our own."

"You think it's easy? What do you have of your own? Your name, business, property and everything else belongs to your family."

"I may not be anyone now but in future-"

"I can't give my daughter's hand to someone with no surety of a future."

"Enough Dad!" It was me. I had enough of Amaan getting insulted. "Why are you doing this?" Tears welled up in my eyes. "I don't care if Amaan is rich or poor, noble or pauper, old or young... What I care about is... I would die without him."

Love is the opposite of fear and it made me brave enough to stand up to my Dad.

One thing I have come to realize is that love is not always happiness. As it came, it created a rift between me and my Dad. Love is not innocent. It's strong and tough. Something that I'll treasure more than my life, something that I'll protect with a fight, something I'll die without.

Dad went silent for a few minutes after that but the argument didn't stop. Maybe now he hated Amaan more for turning his daughter against him. They both kept placing their points which all seemed legit. After around 40 minutes of intense discussion, they settled at the ruling that,

'If Amaan could convince his family, for me, Dad would agree and if not, he would go and never come back.'

It wasn't something I would agree with. It was my life they were talking about after all. But Amaan held my hand to stop me from saying anything. He was too confident of himself.

Now what? he would leave again, and come back God knows when?

"Good Bye. My sunshine." He said softly and was about to leave when I held his hand.

"Amaan wait! Marry me and take me with you."

"What? No."

"Myra what are you-"

"Dad, please agree." I pleaded.

"What if his family doesn't accept?"

"I..." I honestly didn't have any answer to that question but I said something convincing enough for Dad. "Then I'll come back. And do whatever you say."

Please agree.

Dad weighed the possibilities but I could see right through him. The only thing that made him helpless and weak were my tears. He couldn't see me sad. He huffed weakly. "Okay. If that is what you want."

"Thank you so much." I hugged him tight.

***