Chocolate Cosmos

Chapter 5

"Oh don't be such a prude Karl. Just come out!"

"I look ridiculous!" Karl yelled back and I tried my best to hold back on the laughter.

I know we do. Of course we do! And it wasn't because we were having sweatpants on, but it just looked like this style did not suit any of us one bit and because we ourselves didn't know how to style it properly.

We were currently at my house trying out the new clothes we bought. Karl's house was a no no since it was always packed with people. Mine on the other side was ghost silent. I went into my room to change while Karl evaded the guests'.

"Like I don't? But I had the guts to come out, where are yours Mr. don't ever hide from people." I finished with a mocking tone, mimicking his earlier words to me.

In a second, the city's most wanted bachelor had the room door opened, standing in all of his sweatpants-covered glory.

He narrowed his eyes at me as mine traveled down his legs before bursting into the laughter I've been holding.

"We got the wrong size." Karl sneered and it only made me clutch my stomach as I laughed harder. The image of the small sweatpants ending a few decent inches above his ankles as the clothing stretched up to his waist wouldn't leave my mind.

"You look ridiculous!" I burst into tears as I struggled to remain balanced on my feet from the laughing.

I could feel Karl's death stares on me. He pushed me away from his way and turned back to change but I held his arm stopping him.

"No, no I'm sorry okay. We don't have to go out in sweatpants." I stifled a giggle.

"That was the whole point remember." Karl's eyes narrowed more. "But I won't be going out like this!"

"Fine let's not go out until we buy your size."

"And? What do you suggest we do wearing these?" He pulled at his stretched out pants in frustration.

"We order pizza and you open the door." I suggested, the idea making me laugh. "It'll be like training for the day we actually go out with sweatpants to the public." I shrugged innocently.

Karl pushed me away again and successfully entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He obviously didn't agree with my idea.

"Oh come on. You're such a bore."

"Go to hell!" I heard him yell from the other side.

"Oh, I might as well just do!" I yelled back. "What's the point of the bucket list if we chickened out on all the items?" I bargain.

The door was swung open once again, Karl unchanged. "You owe me one for this." He glared at me, pointing a finger in my face. "What pizza would you like?"

I grinned widely. "Let's get chicken barbecue."

"We're getting an extravaganza." He announced passing past me towards the living room.

It was my turn to give him the narrowed eyes. Why would he ask for my preference when he'll just order whichever he wants?

I followed him to the living room just as his phone started ringing.

I went about with my own affairs, turning the TV on and finding something good to watch.

"And what's the problem with that father?" My ears picked up on Karl's voice. He was obviously tensed and I tried to not meddle. It was none of my business.

"Let's deal with this when I come home. I'm on my way okay."

My fingers stopped pressing against the remote's button, waiting for Karl to finish his phone call. It only took him a minute more to address me.

"Hey, sorry about this but I have to go. My father just called and I have to get back to solve some work issues." His voice was genuinely apologetic but I couldn't help the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I really wanted to junk out on pizza all night and tease him about his small sweatpants.

I smiled up at him. "Of course! Just go. We can have pizza any other time. Maybe when we get you the proper sized pants."

Karl let out a brief chuckle and rubbed the top of my head. "I'll call you when I'm done. Let's find something else to cross off from the bucket list tomorrow."

I nodded and watched as he went back to the guest room, changed into his black dress pants, and button-up shirt before leaving.

I let out a breath. It felt weird. Being left alone. Again.

I didn't have a job to go to. I don't have friends to spend the time with whenever I liked. They were either busy or in a different city and I can't force them to fit me in their busy schedules.

I sighed heavily as my eyes gazed around the big empty villa I lived in. I tried to dismiss the phantom feeling of Karl's hand on my head as I ran my thoughts through. I ruffled my hair where his hand touched like a mad woman wanting the heat of his palm to leave my head. I'm vulnerable and haven't been around people at all lately. My emotions can't go crazy.

Maybe I should buy a smaller place? A single bedroom would be enough for me.

°°°°

Karl

I ticked my tongue is dismay. I hated leaving Charis. I hated going to work. I hated facing my father's accusing looks and disapproving words. I just wanted to go back and have some pizza.

I find myself being overly touchy with her, something I have no explanation for. She reminds me of endangered pandas that have just been rescued. All I wanna do is pet her as I towered over her tine form.

It looked like Charis' fears came to reality faster than I expected. The people at the mall had already taken our pictures and posted them on social media. They were all over the place and daddy dear wasn't happy.

My hands gripped tightly at the steering wheel as I prepared myself to tune out anything coming my way from my father.

I parked the car and went up the memorized route to his office.

"What the hell were you doing with her?" He growled at me angrily, referring to Charis.

"And what exactly is it that I did wrong? The media says anything and everything to its liking and you know that more than anyone." I fought back.

"The media is the strongest weapon someone like us can utilize to their best interest! If it was some other girl I wouldn't have said anything but you're ruining your reputation by being with her." The old man yelled.

His words made my blood boil. My father has been controlling every aspect of my life ever since I was a child. He morphed me into something he liked and wanted. Trained me from a very young age and I never once complained. Until now that is. He won't be a part of my ending too.

"Charis is a world-famous author. You yourself read a couple of her works!" I sneered.

"That was before her downfall. Why do you want to be associated with a murderer? She's no longer an author, people want nothing to do with her and so should you." My father spat her name like it was a rotten sandwich and it infuriated me.

No one talks about my crush that way.

"Why was everyone judging her for something we all both saw that she didn't do. The video wasn't a hundred percent proof that she did kill Nila. It instead showed Charis trying to help her up! She was found non-guilty by the jury."

'But the people loved drama. A world-renowned author killing her rival in a cruise ship argument!'

'Does Charis Cardone kills in fiction and reality as well? Were her stories just practice for a real kill?'

'Hatred between women lead to one of their deaths.'

And the headlines went on and on.

"If you don't get yourself back up Karl and focus on your work, I'll have to give the CEO position to Fred instead." My attention snapped back to my father's threat.

What he doesn't know though was that I was sick of it. I didn't want it.

"Well you might as well just give it to h-"

I expected my father to yell, get angry, or threaten me more but he chose to throw a stapler my way instead.

My head snapped to the back from the impact and my mind went blank for a minute before I had the stomach to look at my dad. My hand went to my forehead where it hit and rubbed at the wound.

He showed no remorse or regret for it.

"This might just wake you up. No son of mine will turn into some poor worthless lowlife. Now you get your act straight and go get ready for the meeting you missed yesterday. The party will be here in twenty minutes."

I don't know why I didn't say anything. Why I didn't fight back or yell? I was a grown man yet I was always a five-year-old kid in front of my father. Like I never grew up from that time.

And just like that, I silently left the room holding back my anger like I always did. It burned me from inside out and something caged it inside, preventing it from leaving.

I went to my office to find Loki in my chair swinging from side to side as he played on his phone.

"Oh, you're here! Did you see the news?" He leaped out once I made an entrance.

"Yeah.." I mumbled, not really in the mood for talking or seeing anyone.

"Mr. Hawke gave you a hard time huh?" He stated the obvious.

"Leave me alone now Loki, I have work to do."

"What? And not hear the details?! Your father might disapprove but I'm on your side completely man! She's a stunner!"

She is.

"I didn't believe you when you said that you actually met here but damn man. How did you guys meet anyways?"

On the bridge trying to commit suicide.

"It was just a coincidence. We met at a café." I answered nonchalantly.

"And?" Loki's eyes sparkled.

I turned to him with a bored look. "Listen, I don't have time to gossip. There's nothing between Charis and me, we're just friends. Now leave me alone." I snapped.

"Okay chill." Loki raised his arms in surrender as he took steps back towards the door. "I'll come back though after I hand in the finalized marketing plan. Let's go eat somewhere."

"Sure." I nodded even though I wasn't feeling up to it. All I felt was anger and frustration that grew inside by the minute. My chest felt heavy and I was angry at myself more than anything.

Why didn't I say anything?

The meeting went by in a faze. I don't remember how it began, what the people said, or how it ended. My mind was occupied by a million ways and one on how to just get the hell done with all this. I was thinking about how I'll tell Charis that I couldn't wait till we finish everything on the bucket list. How, yes, I was a coward who wanted an easy way out. And the thoughts continued until I have parked my car in front of her villa almost unconsciously. I want to say that I didn't know how I got here but I do admit that a part of me wanted to escape inside the bubble we created. Where I felt that I've got nothing on my shoulder. That I didn't to act like I cared about what I'm doing. It simply felt freeing.

I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

I heard footsteps from inside before a puzzled Charis greeted me with an open door.

"Karl? You didn't call." She furrowed her eyebrows. I looked down to see that she was still in her sweatpants and neon tee. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail and the remote was in her hand.

"Erm...yeah, sorry. I just needed to talk to you and what I'll say is better relayed face to face."

Her confusion grew as she titled her head a little to the side unconsciously.

Cute.

"Sure, come in. I'll make us something to drink."

It didn't take her time to come in into the living room holding a tray with two cups of tea.

"You don't seem okay." She stated once she sat beside me on the couch. I sighed.

"Just some problems." I dismissed and was about to tell her how I wanted to end it tonight but she beat me to speaking first.

"You know what do I do when I'm angry or agitated?"

I turned my body to face her.

"Come with me." Charis held my hand, leading me behind her to the glass doors opening to her back garden.

On one of the walls, a white sheet of paper hung up, covering the whole area of it.

"It used to always work with me before. But now my body and mind got used to it that it doesn't really help anymore. I overdosed on it." She sent me a sheepish smile and I smiled back.

Charis left my hand and went towards a red bucked filled with small, rounded balloons. She picked one up and threw it with all her might against the white sheet making it burst into a splash of color against the white canvas.

"Huh," she tilted her head towards her artwork. "It's good again."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise and I turned to look at the woman beside me. She held up another balloon to my face, offering it for me to burst. And I gladly did.

All my vent up anger resurfaced and I found myself getting it all out on the wall, throwing balloon after balloon mercilessly.

I felt my muscles pump all the adrenaline to my arm and I screamed my frustrations as I threw one after the other.

Charis gave me space for a couple of minutes before joining in on the attack. I don't remember for how long did we stand there torturing the sheet. I didn't even feel when Charis went to refill the bucket. And with every one that I threw, my anger would subside more. My body would calm down more and my chest felt lighter.

I stood there in deep pants. The sheet that was once white turned into a colorful war zone and I never felt this good in my life.

I turned to look at Charis who was taking in deep gulps of breath herself. Then we both fell into laughter.

"Hey, let's go camping next or maybe dye our hair pink!" She suggested as our laughs subsided.

I was back on the bucket list crossing.