Chocolate Cosmos

Chapter 4

Charis

I stood in front of the mirror in deep thought. I twirled from side to side studying my outfit carefully.

Red. I don't really feel like wearing red today. I wore maroon yesterday.

I walked back to my walk-in closet, rummaging with my hands through the mess. Clothes were everywhere on the floor, piled up on the chairs and on the shelves.

I placed both hands on my hips as I looked around. I don't feel like wearing any of my clothes today. Absolutely nothing.

I was very tempted to call Karl and cancel our sweatpants shopping with him.

I sighed remembering yesterday's chat. I never really chatted with anyone ever since I graduated from college. It was mostly phone calls and always about work so we didn't really do the ending 'good nights' and I personally never did well with sappy emotions. I stopped being good at human emotions a long time ago. Always plain and cold ever since Steven. Humans can't be trusted.

I looked up at the clock hung up on the wall. It was ten minutes to three and I still haven't figured out what to wear.

Finally and begrudgingly, I settled on a white summer dress that had large sunflowers imprinted all over it. The sleeves reached my elbows and its hem fell an inch below my knees. It was made of very soft fabric and it's skirt was overly flowy, allowing all the air to seep to my thighs.

I matched the dress with some white sneakers, a short denim jacket and a yellow cross bag. I was going to the mall so a casual look was probably fine.

I was feeling light hearted up until I stood in front of the mirror once again to do my hair.

I sighed remembering last night. I was never the person to hide her face from others. Always confident and brave in facing anyone. But that was before I was hated worldwide. Marked as a murderer. Even though I wasn't pleaded guilty for it by the law. The evidence didn't show me killing her purposefully and I had a strong legal team. I was found non-guilty by the law, yet completely guilty by the people.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. I'm leaving anyways, there's no reason to dwell on the subject.

I went back to finishing my outfit wearing a white designer baseball cap that had a small chain dangling from one side then holding back onto the hard front a couple of centimeters away so it formed a dangling U shape. I kept my hair down.

This would help cover up my face more. Satisfied with my look, I applied some light makeup just in time as my phone started ringing.

Karl's name blasted through the screen and I hesitantly answered.

"Hello."

"Hey, I'm outside." He said from the other line.

"I'll be right out."

Making sure I had my phone and wallet on me, I left the house. Karl was leaning against his car that he parked in front of the door. He stood straight once I came into his line of vision and as I got closer, my cap was pulled out of my head.

"Hey!" I yelled and tried reaching back for it but Karl's long arms were no match to mine. He threw the cap onto the back seat before turning back to me. His hands pulled my hair back from both sides, tucking all the strands behind my ears.

"That's better." He commented as he looked at his work. My mind was blank of any thought.

"Where will we go?" I asked to get my systems working again.

He opened the door to the passenger seat as he stepped to the side. "Good morning to you too Charis."

I cranked my neck to look at him. "Seriously, what is it up with you and your good night, good morning obsession?" I entered the car and he shut the door before jogging to his side.

"That's basic human interaction." Karl deadpanned as he got comfortable. "You should know that as a writer you know." He started the engine.

"That's something else. My writing self and my normal self are two different people."

"What? Like a dual personality?" He challenged a question. We were driving off the driveway and into the street.

I nodded my head. "Of course."

"That's a load of bull. It's still you."

I frowned at him. "Of course it's not. I create a different self with every book."

He turned to look at me and I scrunched up my face confused about his silent staring.

I sighed. "Sure, I add a little of me in every character, but I deliberately try to change into a different person to write exactly what that character might say or do or react. If I wrote me in all my books things would get boring."

"Maybe you're right." He shrugged.

We remained in comfortable silence until Karl decided to cut through.

"Don't were caps again. It doesn't suit you." He mumbled, turning to look at the road ahead as he started the engine.

"Yes it does." I fought back like a child. "I wear one because I want and I can, what is it with you?"

"You don't want people to recognize you that bad huh?"

I kept silent for a moment. He did hit a bull's eye here.

"Let's just go." My voice was muffled as I turned my head to the side to stare out the window.

I heard Karl sigh and then turn on the engine.

"So? Which mall would you prefer?" He changed the subject as we left the driveway.

"Hmm... I don't know really. Let's go somewhere less crowded." I replied, keeping my head turned away.

"I know just the place."

°°°

"What. Exactly. Are you trying to get at here?" I gritted my teeth in anger as we stood in the mall's parking lot. We were still in the car and I wasn't deciding on getting out anytime soon.

"What? That's the best place to find all that we need." Karl shrugged nonchalantly.

I turned to look at him in anger. My eyes were narrowed and my lips curled as I grit my teeth hard.

"This is the most crowded mall in the city! Everyone comes here!" I yelled, flailing my arms up in the air.

"And?" Karl competed nonchalantly.

"I'm not entering this place. Let's go somewhere else." I finalized as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh yes you are." Karl left the car and I watched him come to my side, opening the door and pulling at my arm.

"No! Karl, let me go! Let go of my hand!" I screamed at him like a mad woman as he single handedly pulled me out. He was already dragging me across the parking lot completely ignoring my screams.

"Karl please. I don't wanna go." I tried a different approach. Maybe if I asked nicely he'd let me go and I can get out of this place.

If it was sometime before Nila's death then I would've entered that place happily. I loved it here! But not now. Not when I'm hated by everyone. They cease any opportunity to call me names, throw me with whatever they have in hand and sometimes even go as far as to push me down to the ground. We tried hiring body guards but that still didn't stop the name calling or the throwing. I decided it was best to not involve anyone in the abuse with me.

Karl stopped mid way when I didn't stop pulling at his arm to stop. He turned to look at me.

"Charis, this is our last chance in life to be free." He sighed with closed eyes before taking a step too close and opened them. "I'll protect you I promise. Just do what your heart wants. No one will hurt you."

Why did I feel calm? My nerves? The anxiety? The panic? The fear? Where did it all go?

I've been hearing the name and handling the trash throwing for a year now, so what's a couple of days more?

I nodded silently. Karl smiled at me and we started making out calm way towards the entrance.

As soon as we entered the tiled, fully packed place, he took my hand which he was holding and placed it around his flexed elbow so that he was linking my arm with his. And that's when the staring and the whispers started.

"Forget about them Charis. You did nothing wrong." Karl whispered in my ear and I tried to take a calming breath.

Did I really not do anything wrong? Was it really not my fault that Nila is now dead?

I shook my head. Everyone said that it was my fault so it probably really is. It's a million voices against one. Or two if we count Karl.

"Come on." He pulled me through the crowd, towards the first shop we'd raid.

I looked up at him. Did he really think that it wasn't my fault or was he just saying that so we could go wherever we want?

I didn't want to think about that either since I'll only be bringing myself down more. I decided that I better focus on my new sweatpants.

And I went wild! I got them in all colors possible, plain and patterned.

"Oh! You know what would go well with these sweatpants? Crop tops!" I told Karl excitedly as we came across highlighter colored crop tops, completely forgetting about everyone around us.

"You're just saying that because you wanna buy them Charis." Karl replied with sassy eyes.

I scoffed with an eye roll. "What do you know about women fashion? Plus, I have to top these sweatpants with something."

"Then at least get a normal color. Why blind us with those?"

"Karl sweetie," I turned to him with my award winning smile, "no uterus, no opinion."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Ha. Ha. just because I pulled a Phoebe Buffay on you, doesn't mean you pull a Rachel on me today. An hour ago you didn't even wanna come inside."

I scoffed again as I turned to the hung up tops, picking one of every color.

"I never wore anything highlighter before." I whispered but I was sure Karl heard me. I don't even know why I told him.

"Well, I guess that's part of the bucket list isn't it? Doing something for the first time?"

I looked up at him in a wide grin. "Let's get you some highlighter tees too!"

His eyes widened like saucers. "Like hell we are!"

"Hey, isn't this Charis Cardone?" My ears twitched at the whisper.

"What's she doing with Karl Hawke?" Another girl gossiped back and I suddenly felt the air getting heavier around me.

Damn you Nila. Damn you for giving me hell alive and dead. My inner demons growled.

I know I wasn't supposed to curse at a dead person but I couldn't control it. I hated her passionately just like she did me.

The shameless gossipers turned to photographers on a missions. I tried my best to keep my face hidden. I wasn't ready to deal with more headlines and false scandals.

But Karl had a different opinion. He draped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his body. His fingers, instead of resting on my shoulder, snaked up to my chin and raising my head to the world.

"You did nothing wrong. Don't you dare coward away from showing them that." His voice was scolding, his eyes looking confident as he lead us to the cashier.

I took in a deep breath. I don't know if I can do that Karl. I never felt this insecure since my introverted days back in high school and that dead part of me was slowly coming back to life.

I kept quite, my mind noisy with thoughts as Karl paid for the sweatpants and tees. I tried to pay for my own things but he refused heavily.

The news will go on a spree seeing both Karl and I together. A fallen author shopping with the nation's most wanted bachelor for the most neon clothes.

Why did they even want him so bad with that crooked nose of his?

Social media will explode and I'm sure we both will be bombarded with paparazzi visits.

I sighed as it dawned on me.

'This will be over soon. All this will be over soon. I'll be free of them all very soon.'