His Touch

Chapter 3

I walk down the long ass hallway , looking at the ' great ' family pictures of us . And by us , I mean my mom and dad hugging Caleb , while I stand one side , awkwardly smiling at the camera . I look so stupid in every f*****g picture . I sigh , averting my eyes forward as I reach the stairs . I grip onto the railing as I walk down . " Uncle Derek ? " a deep attractive voice calls out . A smirk forming upon my lips as I recognise Daniel's voice . I took the last step down , locking eyes with Daniel's honey brown ones , as a sad smile forms on his face . "Autumn , I'm so..." but dear old dad cuts in before he could finish his sentence . " Daniel , what are you doing here son ? " Dad has a concern look on his face , looking frantically between the two of us , I wonder what’s up with him . " Wait in the living room , Autumn " dad insists . Shocked at his outburst , I smile shyly at Daniel , pulling my lips into a thin line and leave the foyer . I hear them mumble as I walk towards the living room , where my mom is sitting on the red leather couch , sipping on her wine as if it's not one in the afternoon .

" Love your bracelet dear . " she compliments my tennis bracelet that consists of diamonds . " Thanks " I look down at it , fiddling with it " Caleb got it for me for my birthday last year . " her body stiffens and she slowly looks up at me , nodding with a small smile . If she wasn't my mother , I would've thought she wasn't even smiling . A few moments later Daniel and my father comes into the living room . Dad turns to Daniel " Why don't you go get yourself something to drink , Daniel . " Daniel glances at me and then back at my dad , " Sure uncle Derek " Daniel says , looking somewhat uncomfortable , that's honestly a first , he's like another kid in this house .

My father sits down across from me , " So Daniel is here . " I say with shiny eyes , "That means Caleb is on his way ? " I ask smiling , not being able to wait any longer to see my big brother and obviously trying to make small talk . "Actually Autumn , that's why you're here . " I give my dad a confused look , I glance over at my mother , asking for help with pleading eyes as I felt a bit lost . " I don't understand . " I say looking around , avoiding eye contact as this started to feel very awkward . " There was an accident , " a huge lump forms in my throat , I keep quite as he looks over at my mother who has tears glazing her eyes . He looks back at me and my pulse is raising " Caleb passed away the day before yesterday . " and like that , my heart sinks into my stomach and it tears from it's original place . My mind leaves the world , every word explaining what happened to him is non existent in my body nor brain . My breath hitches and I feel my cheeks soaking wet , I've started to cry , crying is an understatement - I've begun to sob uncontrollably . I sob as my world froze .

I have never cried since my parents shipped me off to Italy , I wasn’t going to let another person see me on my weakest . " Dad if this is a f*****g joke , tell me right now ! " I bellow while standing up in protest " Honey ... I'm sorry . " he shakes his head left to right , looking down at his hands . If I haven't wiped the tears from my eyes , I would've missed my dad's own falling tears . It made my cry more knowing he's not joking at all , I turn to leave , trying to escape the feeling of being trapped and Daniel stands in the frame of the exit " Why didn't you tell me ? " I yell at him , basically throwing daggers at him with my eyes .

I walk over to him , hitting his chest with all my strength , but still weakly as most of my energy went into hitting him , " You should've told me ! Not them ! You ! You should've told me . " I kept crying , hitting him as he just stares down at me . He lets me hit him , afraid of touching my skin if he tries to push me off . I finally just stop , falling with my head against his chest . My dad hands him a blanket and he wraps it around my shoulders just so he can hug me , "I'm sorry" he mumbles repeatedly as he started to run soothing circles on my back . I burst out of his arms , "Yeah right . " I scream as I strut past him and run up towards my room .

I open the door , slamming it shut again behind me , " This has to be a nightmare . " I yell and cry with shallow breaths , strutting up and down in the room as my chest rises and falls . I grab the vase from the dresser and throw it across the room . It shatters against the wall , the tiny pieces scattering on the floor . I scream out in frustration , walking towards the door yanking it open and walking down the hall . I freeze in front of Caleb's room . I slowly reach my shaking hand towards the doorknob , hesitantly opening it and slowly pushing the door open , the door’s hinges creaking as it moves .

I turn on the light , seeing Caleb's perfectly made up bed and neat room . He is - was a little OCD . When I mean a little bit , I mean full blown OCD . I open up his closet , his perfectly organised closet and perfectly folded clothes laying in front of me . I reach for his favorite sweatshirt that always laid on top of everything else , I pick it up and hug it to my chest , clinging to it for a second before I put it on and go to lay on his bed , crying my eyes out in his room , screaming until my throat hurt .

I clutch onto his pillow for dear life . A knock appears on the door through my sniffles and I quickly cover my mouth , trying to silent my sobs . I look up at the door " What ? " I hiccup . " I'm sorry Autumn . " Daniel's voice soothes my aching heart . " I'm sorry he's gone . I'm sorry I wasn't the one to tell you . " he sighs as he comes over , sitting on the bed at my feet . I just glare at him , not saying a single word because I know if I talk , I'd just start to cry again . " Say something ? " I just shake my head sideways , sitting up and I go lay on his lap with my head . " That's not safe . " he mumbles , trying to scoot away , " Please . " I beg softly as I grip onto his grey sweatpants . " I use to just lay on Caleb's lap like this when I felt like this . It's nice . " I start to cry again . I feel his hand resting on my waist above the sweatshirt . God I wish he could just hold me , like really hold me without having to worry about killing me , f**k . I want to feel the warmth of his skin . " Daniel . " " Autumn . " , " I didn't even listen to my dad when he told me what happened . " He sighs as he knew what I was silently asking him . "Can you tell me ? " I finally ask when he didn’t answer me , sniffling between words . " I can when you're feeling better . " " I want to know now . How can I feel better when I don’t know what the hell happened to my brother ! " I insist . " Okay okay, just don't yell at me again . " he gives in . I sigh in relief , waiting for him to continue to tell me what happened .