Divorced, but Not broken

Chapter 4

I just stared at myself in the mirror. Kayla had brought me one of her dresses; it was long and black, with a sweetheart neckline that made her look professional and me more daring since my boobs were bigger than hers and a slight stretch since I couldn’t fit in her clothes otherwise.

“Holy s**t, Andy! You look f*****g hot! I bet Ryan will eat his heart out when I post this. You are so getting laid tonight, babe!” She shrieked again when I smiled. I looked good, I did, but I just wished that she had stopped talking about Ryan. I didn’t give a s**t what he thought about me, and I just wanted to have fun.

My hair was in big loose curls, courtesy of Kayla calling up a hairdresser. Yeah, she could do stuff like that. I looked perfect from head to toe, from the black stilettos to the hard eyes that had dark makeup around them. I wanted it like that.

I wanted people to see that I wasn’t the old Andy anymore, that she just was quiet and had her head down. No, I wanted to be more; if it was just for tonight, then so be it; it was my f*****g right.

“Not looking so f*****g old now, are we?” she smirked when I gave into the laughter, standing next to her in the mirror, taking snaps, and she was going to post them and make sure that everyone saw her. She was like that, and I just touched my right earring that was dangling down to my neck, my bare shoulders showing off my skin, s**t I really didn’t look anything like myself. I loved it!

We were still laughing when we walked out of the lobby and into the uber that was waiting for us. I just stared at the city lights before looking down at my phone. Kayla had been tagging me in everything. I was happy about that. I looked so good and wanted people to see that I could. not just being around in sweatpants and cardigans, making a fool of myself kneeling down before…. I stopped that thought right away no. No Andrea. We were not going to think about the hot rude guy next door. We would have fun tonight, do whatever the hell we wanted, remember?!

I put the phone in my purse again and tried not to look so freaking guilty because I knew Kayla would see it on me immediately. Still, she was busy looking at her phone, probably texting some guy, when I smiled and just leaned back. I was so happy and excited. I was going to have fun and forget that I was this boring housewife that was cheated on.

“Let’s go, babe!” Kayla was taking my hand when we walked out, and the line was longer than the next block; it felt like when she just walked past people and talked to the big guy that was blocking the entrance before looking at her and then at me and gave us an approving smile before letting us in, not even listening to the moaning of people waiting in line. I felt bad when she dragged me inside, not even caring about the people that had waited to get inside, she didn’t care, but I did because I was one of those people normally. Now I was just like her, forward and not making any apologies for cutting the line to get inside.

We walked behind the hostess and were seated on the upper floor by the window overlooking the whole city, and I just stared in awe at the amazing view. I never got how she did it; Kayla always got the best seats or tickets. Wherever she went, she was the queen, and people knew that when she walked inside a room.

“Look at you, looking all sexy and ready to f**k the first handsome man you see, and don’t look, but I saw at least three guys checking you out when we walked inside. I don’t think we even need to try that hard. You are going to get lucky tonight, babe!” she smiled in the direction behind me, and I blushed from how she had just said that. Me f*****g some other guy that wasn’t Ryan, that felt insane. I know it was stupid, but when you had just been with one guy for so long, it felt wrong to even think about another man f*****g you, even if it was he that wanted the divorce, not me.

“Kay, please just stop it. Can we eat before we get to the part about me f*****g someone? I need some wine before I even consider talking to anyone.” I smirked when she giggled. She already knew when the waiter came with the wine list, and I let her choose. She knew s**t like that, and I just took whatever the house recommended. I was a fancy girl like that.

We were on our second glass of wine when she got a more mysterious look over her, and I just gulped, feeling the wine loosening me up. She was just watching me with her calculating dark eyes. She really knew exactly when I was good and ready to start spilling my secrets, which apparently was after two glasses of wine, like the lightweight I was.

“So, what's the real reason that you wanted to come over? And don’t tell me it’s the f*****g music, Andy. I know you. You don’t complain over s**t like that, not to me or to anyone…” she raised her perfect eyebrows and drank some more from her wine when I just smiled stupidly, oh s**t I didn’t even know where to start; this was too soon and too weird, even for me.

“You know that guy I was talking about, the college kid? He is hot as fuck.” I just said that when her eyes dilated in surprise and excitement at the same time when I just smirked and drank some more. I know she was dying when our food came in, and she didn’t care when I picked up the cutlery. I was starving, and she was paying; if she was saying no to her plate, I wasn’t going to pass up on my steak, no freaking way!

“Omg, Andrea Wilson thinks a college guy is hot as f**k. I need to call the f*****g ambulance because I know I’m going to have a heart attack if you are telling me that you are f*****g a 20-year-old guy!” she was shrieking again when I dropped my fork from the way she was just assuming I was f*****g him because that’s what she would have done, and f**k I wanted that too, let’s just be honest, I wanted to f**k him, sue me, he was hot as hell and charming in a strange dominating way, and I know I wasn’t the only girl that wanted that.

“Kay, no, I’m not f*****g him!” I hissed that when she started to laugh at me for being uncomfortable with her assumptions, and I knew that the whole restaurant heard her and she didn’t care. I shouldn’t either, but inside I was still me, still ashamed to let people know s**t that I didn’t want them to hear, even if I looked like Kayla right now.

“Well, you should; after Ryan, that fucker! You should get any d**k you can get your hands on!” she talked too loud again, and some men's eyes were on us, and she just giggled when she saw them and winked. I just felt bad for some reason. I didn’t want to get as much d**k as possible. I just wanted…. f**k… I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted to see him again, Jonah. That was the truth, but he didn’t want me. He just was nice and helped me, whatever he was doing. The small seconds of me thinking that he wanted me seemed so ridiculous sitting here two hours away, all dolled up, drunk, and talking with the even drunker Kayla.

“what’s the guy’s name? Let me see him. I should know since he is getting the attention of my best friend. I want to know if he is f*****g worthy or not…” she looked at me slyly, making my heart go faster when she could see the horror in my eyes. No! No f*****g way! She was not seeing him, and I didn’t want her around him; it was bad enough that I had to see girls get out of his door in the morning. I sure as hell didn’t want Kayla f*****g him, and she would if she got the chance. Make no mistake, he would take one look at her and then forget I ever existed!

“No, stop it, Kayla. I just think he is hot. That doesn’t mean anything, we are just living next door, and he is rude and mean if I’m honest….” I swallowed when she just smirked at me. She didn’t care what I was saying, she could see that I liked him, and I think I did…. f**k…why else would I get so upset from seeing a girl leave his apartment in the morning? We didn’t know each other at all.

“I don’t know him, okay? I just talked to him three times. He is just a hot neighbor.” I made my glass clink when I put it down harder than I intended seeing that it was empty, and she didn’t say anything back, just smirked some more and called the waitress for more wine. Oh s**t, she was really getting me drunk tonight, wasn’t she? I was already losing my bearing, and my thoughts were always sneaking back to Jonah. Did he even notice I was gone? I bet he didn’t, he had some f*****g party in his apartment, and he was happy that I wasn’t there to complain about his music, which I still hated for the record.

“I’m going to the ladies.” I just stood up, and she laughed when I swayed and narrowed my eyes at her, that b***h, she did this to me, and now she was laughing?! I was just about to start sneering at her when she just smiled at a guy that started to come our way, and I turned around. I didn’t want to listen to some guy trying to hit up my best friend. That was the story of my life, guys coming up to talk to Kayla and me sitting on the sideline, just watching her getting all the attention.

I stumbled that last part into the bathroom and leaned over the sink, f**k I was really drunk by now when I looked up at myself. I still looked good, just some hair that wasn’t as perfect. My lipstick needed retouching when I took up my purse and found the dark red lipstick, and reapplied it slowly, trying not to f**k up my makeup that badly, and put t back down and stared at my phone.

I should call him.

Shouldn’t I?

I was weighing on the high heels I wasn’t used to having on and sighed when I picked up the phone. This was the worst idea ever, and I didn’t care when I just found the text that I had deleted and pushed the number, and swiped the green button. I just wanted to hear his voice for a short time, and I wasn’t going to say anything. I promised myself that when the call was dialing up, and I just leaned back on the sink, I was glad I was alone. I didn’t want Kayla or any other woman in here, listening to me and my pathetic ways of calling my neighbor that I didn’t know at all.

He didn’t pick up, and I just let all my nervous feelings down in my stomach and cursed when the call was connected to his voicemail; it didn’t even have his voice; it was just a standard one, which made me even sadder, f**k. I really was pathetic.

“Hey… it’s me… I’m sorry for calling. I just… I wanted to hear your voice... okay?” I made a sniffle and hung up, s**t.

The hard lump in my throat was pushing up inside, and I wanted to throw up when I looked at myself. I looked like s**t. I did. I mean, look at me. I wasn’t me, I was Kayla, and I knew it when I wiped away the tears that shoved their way through my eyes and took some paper, making sure that Kayla wasn’t going to see that I had been crying. I didn’t want that. I just wanted to be happy and have a good time, for her sake and me.

I walked back out again, holding my head higher, smiling when I saw my best friend, she had two guys over at our booth, and I just sighed when I saw them because I knew that one of those guys was for me. I wasn’t stupid, Kayla set me up a lot before I met Ryan, and now she had started all over, just great.

She saw me coming, and her eyes lighted up when the two men raised their heads. I smiled again. s**t, I was nervous as hell when the man on my side smiled wider like he liked what he saw and that made me blush without even saying a word. I wasn’t used to men giving me the attention of any kind.

“Finally, here she is, my best friend and sister Andrea. This is Zac and Austin.” She grinned even more when she said the name of my side when the man, whose name was Austin, gave me an even more charming smile getting up. I sat down again, and he hurried in next to me, and I just stared at Kayla, trying not to look so f*****g shell-shocked as I was feeling. She just blinked at me, saying that it would be fine, the perks of knowing someone your whole life, we didn’t need words, not right now when we both were drunk, and I was scared shitless.

“Kayla, you never told me just how beautiful Andrea is; it gave me a smaller shock when she walked over to us.” The man named Austin smirked when I blushed more, and Kayla laughed at me, even more embarrassed. She was thriving here, and I was just awkward; even with wine in my body, I was an awkward hot mess. No wonder Ryan left me for another girl, and Jonah didn’t even want to pick up the phone when I called him.

“Well, she is hot. not as hot as me, but she sure as hell looks sexy as f**k tonight!” Kayla giggled when the guy at her side grinned at her, and she was already going to go home with him. I just knew that. And why wouldn’t she? He was handsome, probably rich and hot, just her type of guy; too bad he wouldn’t see her next weekend when she found a new guy to be with.

“What can I say? I like brunettes…” he winked at me when I giggled. He was cute and handsome, he looked like his friend, rich and well-mannered, dressed in a suit, and I smiled more at the fact that he just told Kayla he liked me more, even if she looked like she was pissed off for two seconds before shaking it off as she had never looked like she wanted to kill him just a moment ago.

“She doesn’t look like this normally. What you see here is all me, the real Andy, walking around barefoot in ragged jeans and a t-shirt.” She snickered, taking her guy with her when he started to kiss her neck, and I frowned. What the f**k was that supposed to mean?! I was just about to tell her off when the guy beside me smirked and ignored her, making me feel a little bit better about myself when he rolled his eyes like she was crazy. I gave him a real smile this time; this was nice, a man that preferred me before Kayla. Call me petty, but I loved every second of it.

“do you guys want to leave? We were going to that new place downtown. Sure as hell would be nice with two hot girls coming with us…” the man on the other side made Kayla giggle when she nodded and was unsure if I wanted that. I was getting too drunk, and so was she. We should just head back home and get some sleep. I really didn’t know if I wanted to go to some club after what happened in the bathroom.

“Hell yes, sure we do, right Andy?!” she was a giggling mess when I just was quiet and looked uncertain at her. I didn’t want to leave her alone. I guess she had acted like a b***h, but she was still my best friend, and I didn’t want her to get into trouble.

“Fine.” I just said that when the two guys exchanged looks, and I just sighed when the tab came over. I looked at Kayla, that was too busy to even notice the waitress standing there with the check. I just coughed at her when she ignored me, too deep into the guy she was making out with already. I stared at the waitress in panic. I didn’t have the money for this tab. I mean, s**t, it was hundreds of dollars to be paid. I just had enough to get home, and that was it. Kayla was the one with the money here.

“It's fine. I take care of it.” The man at my side just winked at me when he put his card on the tray, and I blushed from embarrassment. He had no obligation to us, this was my and Kayla’s tab, and he just paid it, I was in some deep s**t now, and I knew it.

“Thank you….” I just looked at him suffering, the handsome man that smiled at me. I guess that money didn’t matter to a guy like him, but to me, that was broke; it meant more than anything!

“No, it's fine, I just get you to pay me back in some other way….” He was laughing when I lost all color from my face. Holy s**t, he just told me that I needed to f**k him, didn’t he?!

He must have seen my hand tremble because he suddenly stopped laughing and just smiled, put his hand on mine, and squeezed it like it was okay. I relaxed that he wasn’t forcing me to f**k him for paying the tab.

“Relax, I was only joking. I don’t mind paying if I get to be in the company of the most beautiful women in this place….” He winked at me, and I made small nervous laughter, his hand still on mine, drowning it with his size, and I looked happier back at him. He was nice, not like his sleazy friend that was going to f**k Kayla in the bathroom as soon as he got the chance.

“Okay, let’s get the f**k out of here... I want to dance!” Kayla had come back for air looking like a mess from hooking up with the guy that looked just as flustered when I nodded. Sure, let’s do this, then.