Divorced, but Not broken

” No, you don’t understand. Ryan cheated on me, Kayla… his wife for eight years... He is the one that should be paying the fees for selling the house! I can’t believe he just ditched me and went with his slutty girlfriend and left me with the taxes of the sale, bastard!” My fingers tapped fast over the phone after seeing the papers scattering over my small table. What a d**k he was, my ex-husband Ryan; he could burn in hell and that skank of a girlfriend he had found when he was still married to me! “Ryan always was a bastard, Andy. You knew it, just as everyone else... I’m not saying he wasn’t good either, but he has his way of getting what he wants, and it’s good you finally see that!” I frowned at my best friend’s message. She really wasn’t pulling any punches suddenly. Kayla had always thought that Ryan was this good guy that everyone loved. She, my parents, the neighbors and the freaking government! Since they didn’t care that he had left the country with this girl that he had been having s*x with the last year in our home! “Just let me loan you the money. You don’t have to pay back in years; like you said, he cheated on you, not the other way around.” I just put the phone down and stared out the small window before me; this place was a dump; it really was compared to the beautiful two stories house that Ryan and I had made a home together. Nice neighborhood, excellent schools, a low crime rate, and room to have kids that I wanted, and he didn’t... I sighed and looked around some more, I had been here for about a week, and the boxes were still on the floor unpacked, the few things I brought, the rest I had sold, and I mean everything! I didn’t want anything from that cheating bastard, and the reality was I couldn’t afford to live in the house alone. Ryan was the one that had made big money in our marriage, it was out the door for me when the bills started to stack up and let me tell you that I was regretting every second of signing a freaking prenup when we got married, not that I wanted his money. Still, I deserve more than this; being over thirty and sitting alone in a crappy apartment with no more than a hundred dollars to my name was humiliating, to say the least. I was just about to answer her again when I heard a loud knock on my door. I jerked back from the strange sound of someone on the other side; I had just moved here and didn’t know anyone. I mean, this was the city. I had lived in the suburbia for so long, it wasn’t Kayla since she lived two hours away, and Mom and Dad were on a trip down to my aunt for the next three weeks. My heart raced against my chest when I walked the distance to the door. The pounding started again, making me almost shriek a little from the horror when I opened the slightest and saw a guy standing there, and I frowned. What the hell was this, was he lost or what? “What do you want?!” I was terrified and snarled at him for coming to my door and pounding on it like he didn’t scare me half to death, even if it was just afternoon. I shouldn’t be on edge like I was, standing behind the safety chain staring at the young man on the other side, frowning just as much back at me as he didn’t like me being rude. Tough luck, I wasn’t in the giving mood! “Take it easy, lady. I was just coming here to give you a heads up that I’m going to have people over, and since we live next door, don’t call the f*****g cops on me, alright?” he sounded so sure and confident when I just stared at him, was he serious right now, why the hell would I call the cops on anyone for having people over? that was ridiculous! I observed him from head to toe. He was young. Younger than me, he looked around his twenties, tall and had an aura around him that he wasn’t kidding, and I frowned again. Why would he need to tell me he was having people over? That was none of my business! “Okay, kid! whatever, just don’t keep me up all night. I need to work tomorrow.” I was just about to shut the door in his face when he smirked at my answer. I stopped from the determined eyes that didn’t make any promises and took no prisoners. “Sure, I won’t interrupt your date with your cat…” He just turned around and left the door when I stood there, feeling like an i***t and angry. What the hell did he just say to me, a date with my cat?! I didn’t even own a f*****g cat, that arrogant bastard! I was just about to shout it back when I heard the door slam to the left, and I felt the darkness in my chest swallow me again, closing my own silently and went back to the kitchen staring blank out into the small space. What the hell just happened? I got freaking shamed by a stranger that I was alone and desperate! Surprise, nothing could be more accurate… Shit. I really was pathetic, wasn’t I? Maybe I should just get a cat, I was never dating a man again, and I mean never after Ryan! He had shown me that it didn’t matter how many years you spent being a devoted wife and trying hard to make them happy. They just disappeared on you for a younger woman, and it was their f*****g nature! I answered Kayla fast and my phone on silence. I didn’t care anymore. I was just getting my crap meal microwaved and watching Netflix before falling asleep on the couch since I didn’t want the same bed that Ryan had been f*****g another girl in along with me to my new place. I just pushed the so-called food around on the plastic dish, staring at the screen on my laptop before realizing that I wasn’t even paying attention to what was happening before turning it off. Lying myself down on the lumpy couch that was here when I rented this place, so I was getting a tetanus shot before this weekend was over. I was turning for what seemed to be hours on the awful couch when I finally had been able to fall asleep, only to be awoken to the sound of people screaming and laughing, and not to forget the god-awful music that was blasting all over the house! I cursed, looking at my phone, almost choking on the anger that made me get up from the sofa right away; it was 3.45 in the morning, on a f*****g Monday! This kid that was my neighbor was still having people over! He didn’t tell me he would have a rave, not just three people having dinner together like I believed he had meant! A drunk guy making out with a more intoxicated girl in the hallway on my way out. People were laughing and having a good time, drunk and high, when I gritted my teeth and dragged my cardigan harder around me, ignoring the stares people gave me when I pushed myself past them, that were still having the time of their life, not even caring that I needed to get up and go to work in two hours, freaking kids! My eyes searched over the neighbor’s apartment; it looked like mine, only more enormous and better furnished, making me angry. Great! now even teenagers lived a better life than me! I didn’t see him; the neighbor and the party were still alive and fully going when I just turned around and tapped the shoulder of the nearest person I could find. A muscular guy turned around and started to smile, drunk and thinking that he was the best thing since sliced bread, to my sigh, oh boy… “You lost, pretty? Want me to help you home?” he laughed when the two girls he had talked to giggled, and I raised my eyebrows. Did he just call me freaking pretty? I show him just how pretty I was, the stupid kid! “I just need to know where the arrogant bastard that rents this place is, and I don’t need you or anyone else to help me get home since I f*****g live next door!” the buff guy stopped like his drunk mind finally got what I was telling him and scratched his head, still holding a beer. His boozy eyes lighted up when he stared behind my back. My whole body went cold when he pointed his arm over my shoulder, and I didn’t want to turn around anymore knowing who he was pointing at. “Jonah, that cranky b***h you told me about is here and is looking for you!” he laughed when my cheeks turned red; a cranky b***h?! Really, well! he wasn’t wrong when the fire in my chest melted away the ice that had paralyzed me for a whole minute when I snapped my head around and saw the neighbor again. Holy s**t. He glared like he was just as mad at me, and I just tried not to waver with my eyes since he was staring me down hard, becoming nervous suddenly from nowhere, and I just gulped. s**t, s**t! “What do you want? I told you I was having people over…. Just go back to your cat and wineglass...” He didn’t scream like I had been doing when I just gasped at the harsh words. Why the hell was he so f*****g rude to me?? He was the asshole playing music at four am in the morning, not me! “Just turn off the f*****g music and send these people home! You said evening, not morning, and guess what, kid!? it's over midnight, my shift starts in two hours, and I need my sleep!” I snarled back when he started smirking at my answer like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. I just held my breath, knowing he would slaughter me in front of his friends and anyone who wanted to listen. His face was attractive, making it even harder not to let my eyes wander over it. s**t, so he was good-looking. Who cared? So was Ryan and see where that led me, right into bankruptcy! “Oh, you sure do... I can already see the wrinkles around your eyes; getting a man your age must be hard, right? It's fine... Tom is single. I bet he can f**k you now if you like; it must be better than just watching romantic movies and eating chocolate.” He nodded to the buff guy that I had talked to before. He just grinned more like he was up on that offer. I felt my chest constricted from just the thought of any guy being near me, f**k that! I glared back at the hostile guy, my neighbor, who didn’t falter for one second with the hard blue-green eyes still holding me hostage. “Just shut down the music.” I just said that, turned around, and left, ignoring the sniggering and high-fives behind me that were exchanged, f*****g college kids. I hated them with every part of my body, especially that neighbor I would never talk to ever again!!!