Freeing Katie

Ch. 20 Talking with Parents

I ended up staying the full two days at J.R.’s.  I didn’t want to, but I needed to give Katie some space.  I texted her once each morning and night, and left her one voicemail each day- hoping that was enough to let her know I’m here, but not overbearing enough to make her keep ignoring me.

I pull up to my house and see her car is not in the driveway.  Already, I feel deflated.  Hopefully she’ll come back soon. 

Once inside, I hear dad bustling around the kitchen.  “Back home, Chase?  Want a sandwich?”

“No, I’m good,” I somber out, taking a seat on the island while he prepares his lunch.  It’s been great having dad around more, and I find myself appreciative of how lucky I am to have him raise me.  It still guts me to think that a man could be so evil enough to harm women and children, but to do that to a little girl…  “Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“How do you help someone work past their trauma?”

He stills what he’s doing and places the knife down.  “Depends on the trauma, I guess.  Why do you ask?”  I really don’t want to put Katie’s business out there.  She already let a handful of people know, but it’s definitely nothing to parade about.  I spend far too long in my head and dad starts cleaning up his mess. “Is this about Katie?”

I look up, slightly shocked.  “How did you-“

He leans on the counter with a serious face.  “I don’t know everything, but remember when I asked out Laura?”  I nod.  “When we met for coffee, she explained her circumstances.  She was in an abusive relationship for years, and on top of that, the man she was with r***d her daughter.  She told me all of this in confidence, and I respected her decision not to go out with me.  When you two started dating, I figured the subject would come up eventually,” he states.  “I don’t have the answers though, Chase.  That’s some serious trauma that poor girl went through, but I’d say you were on a good path to helping her- she seemed happy and less shy from the first time I met her.  Did something happen?”

He eyed me like I did something stupid like pressure her into something she didn’t like.  “Nothing like that.  I always respected her boundaries.”

“Good.  I raised you right then.”

“But something changed this past month.  Saturday night was the first time it was awkward between us.  We both got drunk and she thought I was hitting on another girl, which I wasn’t, and she just exploded out the truth.  I…. I just can’t believe someone could do that…. “

“I know, son.  It’s disgusting and no one can call himself a man for doing what he did.”

“But now, Katie won’t even talk to me.  She thinks she disgusts me, or that I’ll look at her differently, an-“

“But you will.”

“Huh?”

“You will look at her differently…. You are looking at her differently.”

“But I don’t want to!” I almost say in a panic, but my dad laughs softly.

“Not in a bad way.  You’re realizing she’s more precious to you, son.  Knowing the truth is making your feelings for her stronger- the need/want to protect her… to make her happy.”  I process that and he comes around and side hugs me, kissing the top of my head- something he hasn’t done since I was a kid.  “I’m proud of you son.  I don’t think there could be a better man to help her through this part of her life.  Just be honest and communicate, and everything else will come naturally, okay?”

*

I spend the afternoon listening to see when she will come home.  Around 7pm, I suck up the courage to knock on the door to talk to her mom, seeing that she’s actually there.  I know they tell each other everything, so hopefully she can see how sincere I am with her daughter, and will paint me in a positive light in front of Katie.

I hear the footsteps inside the house, and Laura answers the door with a smile on.  “Hey Chase.  Was wondering when you would stop by.”  She opens the door and allows me inside.  “Have you had dinner yet?”

“No ma’am, not yet.”

“Well, you can join me.  Jason won’t be back until 9.  You can take some leftovers to your father as well.”

I follow her into the kitchen and she has some type of casserole dish already made.  I’m not feeling hungry, but I put some on a plate out of respect.  “You know why I’m here, don’t you?” I say quietly.

She nods her head as we sit down at the table.  “Katie and the girls told me what happened.  Katie regrets telling you the way she did, but we can’t turn back time,” she lets out.

“I didn’t try to get with another girl, Ms. Spencer, honest.  Katie means too much to me to do something that stupid.”

“Back to Ms. Spencer, huh?” she jests, but then gets serious.  “I know you wouldn’t, Chase.  I also think Katie knows that too.  It’s been a stressful month for her.  It always is this time of year,” she says sadly.

“May I ask why?”

She plays with the food on her plate and her voice sounds far away.  “If you met us seven years ago, you wouldn’t recognize my family, Chase.  Tommy, my ex, stripped everything away from us little by little.  I never knew I could be afraid of someone, especially the man I fell in love with.  His punishments for the children started when Jason was two, and when I started interfering, that’s when it really set in his domination over us.  We were all terrified to defy him in any way.  I was working three jobs to get the bills paid, because he was a sorry excuse of a man who refused to work….”

“Why didn’t you just leave, Laura?”

She gives me a look with a small smile, telling me she’s been asked this question a lot.  “When you feel like you have nothing, not even control over your own life, you hang on to what you know.  What I knew was that Tommy and I had a child together, and, for whatever depraved reason, I needed him to help raise the kids.  I know it doesn’t make sense, but-“

“It’s fine.  I’m sorry I asked.  That was unfair of me.”  I reach over and take her hand, and she squeezes it for reassurance.

I see her eyes glass over with tears, and I feel my stomach tighten.  “When I found out he r***d my baby, everything fell apart.  To think, that she was so scared that she couldn’t tell me… that I was so blind….”  She covers her mouth with her hand to hold back a sob and I hate that son of a b***h even more as I watch this strong woman hold in her agony.  She takes a breath and lowers her hand to her stomach.  “It started around December- around the holiday season because I was working so many shifts.  That’s why this time of year is hard for her.  I wasn’t able to protect her…”

“You’re a great mother, Laura,” I say honestly.  “You said we can’t turn back time, but I know the mother you are now is a great one.  And obviously you did something right, because even through it all, they are always smiling or enjoying themselves.  It wasn’t until today that I realized their life wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine, so I hope you can see that.”

A tear rolls down her cheek by the time I get down talking and she picks up her napkin to dot her eyes.  “You’re really sweet, just like your father.”

I give off a smile.  “Whenever you’re ready, I’m sure he’ll be happy to take you out.  I don’t think Katie will mind it either…”

After that air of lightness, we spend the rest of the meal, talking about her past, the family counseling, and how they try their best to keep Jason in the dark about his father.  She says he remembers being scared and whipped a lot, but he doesn’t know that he r***d Katie.  She told me how Katie began to lash out and self harm, and how it affected their life until they met Dr. Kelly, whom Katie still sees to this day.

“Katie has been trying to get over her fear of intimacy this past month as well, which is another reason for her emotions to range high.  She’s trying to rush herself to be comfortable, but thinking of someone touch you vs. actually having it done is two different things.”  I start to blush.  I love how Katie and her mom are close, but I don’t even talk to my dad about my s*x life.  Laura laughs as she picks up the dishes.  “You’ll get used to my bluntness, I’m sure.  She’s a young adult just like you, just….. promise me you’ll be patient with her?”

I nod, not really answering the question.  ‘Yes, I want to have s*x with your daughter, and I’ll make sure I’ll be gentle’?  Yea, no.  We aren’t ‘there’ yet.

The front door opens and Jason comes in.  “I’m back, mom!  Oh, hey Chase!”

“Hey little man!”  We fist bump as he passes by to go hug his mom.  She kisses the top of his head and memories surface of my mom.  I couldn’t imagine dealing with what they have, but they’ve definitely persevered and came out on top.  “When’s Katie coming home?”

Laura smiles gently.  “She went to Rebecca’s for the week.  Possibly two.”  My face drops as well as my heart.  She’s avoiding me.   Laura walks by me and pats my shoulder.  “It’ll all work out, Chase.  Just give her time.”

As Laura packs up some leftovers for me to take home, Jason leads me upstairs to show me his new video game.  My mind is a million miles away, but I try to show interest while he goes through his weapons archive. 

“I’m not dumb, you know..”

I turn and see Jason still staring at the TV.  “Huh?”

He shrugs his shoulders.  “I heard them all talking last night.”  He turns to me, and the seriousness on his face is something an 11 year old shouldn’t have just yet.  “I know my dad did things to Katie, and I know it still hurts her…. but you won’t hurt her.  She likes you and you like her.  People who really like each other don’t hurt one another.”

When did this kid get so smart?  “I would never hurt her, Jase.  I promise.”

He nods and focuses back on the screen.  “Good.  Because I like having you around.”

I put on a smile and rough up his hair, earning a grunt.  “Me too, little man.  Me too.”