Chapter 19: The Decision
2547 Words
“That good for nothing insolent piece of s**t!” I whisper to myself as I kick the elevator’s door out of the disappointment of what just happened.
“Grr!!”
“What is up with that reaction? I know I see it in his face. He cared, but that’s all? Letting it slide just like that, he didn’t even do something! I couldn’t as well, but what is wrong with you. you emotionless worthless s**t!”
“Arghhhhh!” I shouted, continually throwing my fist at the wall as this was the only way I knew how I could release the frustration out of me. I’m disappointed with myself. I’m such a disappointment!
“I’m sorry, Yoru, if I could just make him care that much.”
“I’m sorry I failed you.” that fool!
“Grrr eat your ass, Astra!” How could he be so complacent about his condition? Does he not care about either Yoru or Salvy’s feelings and the situation? They are in a lot of pain, but he sure is okay to let them down; I’m so pissed of right now. I punched the wall with all my strength when suddenly the elevator opened.
Chico’s POV
I was concerned about leaving Nubes alone to deal with Astra. I mean, the boss is a calm and reserved person, but on the other hand, Nubes can push him to his edge. Astra’s not ignorant about how Nubes sees him, but it does not bother him that much if that kid can’t understand him. I’m just worried if things might get physical.
“s**t, where am I going again?” I stopped in my tracks, recalling that I had no idea where I could find Astra. Stupid me, why did I even left that ginger? I’ll just ask someone. Maybe they have seen him.
“Am sir?”
“O-oh?” the old man slowly turned his head towards me and smiled.
“Good day, sir. Can I ask something?”
“Why, what a polite kid you are. Yes, of course, young man.”
“Have yo-” I was about to ask when he talks again.
“Kids these days don’t know how to show respect,” he then said with a reminiscing tone.
“Ah-ahm, yes, excuse me but have you.”
“WHAT?!”
“Are you shouting at me, ha, youngster!”
“No, no, I’m not, sir. I’m just asking.”
“Why you’re really picking up a fight with this geezer, huh?!”
“Why are you shouting at me old man?”
“I don’t want to pick fights”
“What?!”
“I’m not picking a fight with you!” I shouted at him
“Oh, I’m sorry, my hearing is really not the same as it used to be.”
“Ah...hehe, it’s okay old man..”
“Hmmm,” he grins
“Geez, old geezer, you made me scared.”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?!”
“Nothing, nothing. I didn’t say anything, old man!”
“Okay young one, what’s your question?”
“Have you seen a ginger passed by?” I asked the old man sitting in the hall where I had last seen Nubes
“Excuse me, young man, but can you...you repeat what you said” the old man requested in his slow and quavering voice as he paused to breathe in the middle. Oh geez, here we go again.
“Yes, sir, have you seen a ginger walk by?” I close my eyes, preparing myself for what’s coming at me again.
“A ginger, huh!” he replied energetically. I think he has a clue. Ohh, good, he didn’t shout at me this time. That’s a relief.
“Well, I don’t know whether I heard it wrong or you’re nuts young man!” I have spoken too soon, really; I did. I just slapped myself and controlled my uneasiness of what was happening to Astra and Nubes.
“What?”
“There ain’t no ginger walking here. Why haven’t you learn about that” I give up. What is this geezer even talking about
“Gingers can’t walk.”
“Hey, young man are you pulling a trick on me cause I can beat you,” he said as he poked me with his cane then weakly stood up.
“Yahhh!” he yelled, positions himself in a somewhat fighting pose? Hehe?
“What? Old man, are you crazy.”
“No, you are the one who’s crazy, kid.”
“Gingers does not have feet haven’t they teach you that at school?!”
“What they didn’t even teach me that” what?
“Why you’re an i***t kid.” I’m not an i***t!
“Hey, you don’t get to call me i***t, old man!”
“Ahhh! What was that for, old man!” I protested as he hit his cane on my head
“You’re so loud! Listen, young one.”
“You’re maybe a stubborn kid who does not listen to your teacher, no?”
“What? Ohhhhh, I see now!” oh wait, I think I’m catching up. Yes! I know what he means. That’s why
“It’s not like that old man. I mean is did you notice a red hair kid passed by?”
“Oh, that kid, why haven’t you told me earlier! he takes the lift over there” he pulls out from his fighting position and points his cane to the lift at the edge of the hall.
“Thank you, good sir.”
“Alright, young man.”
“Ahh, geez, old man,” I grunt at the old man’s hard poke in my stomach.
“Okay, okay, old man be well” I take off as I wave the old man goodbye with my back turn.
“Hmm, such a nice and funny kid,” I heard him mumble hehe; It kinda makes me remember my grandpa; I missed hanging out with sweet old people.
I took the lift as I got an Idea of where could Nubes be heading. Why haven’t I thought of it earlier? That place is quiet and the best place to consider. I took the elevator to the 6th floor.
“Man, it’s a little bit shaky in here.”
“What just the 4th floor.”
“Oh, there you go.”
“already here” *Bam!!!*
“Wha-Wha”
“Nubes?” As the door opened, I saw Nubes forcefully punched the wall. He looked at me with a fury burning in his eyes. The atmosphere was quick to change into something uncomfortable.
“What are you doing here, shithead!” he seems to have lost his temper this time.
“What? Why are you mad.”
“I just came up here to check on you and Astra” that look he keeps gazing at me, madness in his eyes. I’m not sure what had happened up there, but I would like to. That’s when I noticed his hands dripping with blood.
“What happened to your hands, Nubes?” I asked
“It’s nothing. It’s none of your business.”
“What happened?” he better tell me, or I’ll
“Did you do something to Astra?!”
“Grr! you better not have hurt him, or I’ll!!!” He instantly dragged me out the lift by pulling my sweater and pinned me on the wall with his arm against my neck
“OR WHAT?!” He threatened
“YOU’LL KICK ME OUT. I DON’T CARE; I DON’T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH AN ASSHOLE FOR A BOSS!”
“H-hey wha-what’s wrong with you!” I asked as I tried so hard to push his arm that was choking me
“Get your hands away from me. I can’t breathe.”
“You little asshole!”
“It seems I’m not that little now, ha.”
“Look who’s talking. Where’s that confidence earlier.”
“You can’t even shake me off, ha” his eyes are full of wrath. Something must have really pissed him off. What had really happened?
“What have you done with Astra, you jerk!”
“Ahghghhhh,” I choked as he aggressively propelled me on the wall harder with greater force implied on my neck; I can’t breathe.
“WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT THAT HEARTLESS BOSS OF YOURS!”
“HE HAD NO CARE IN WHAT’S HAPPENING OR WHATSOEVER!”
“I MAY BE A FOOL, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO BE BLINDED BY HIS SELFISHNESS”
“I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM; HE DOES NOT EVEN GIVE A s**t ABOUT US!”
“JUST LIKE YORU HE’LL LEAVE YOU DIE THERE TOO!”
“Wha-a-t a-a-re y-ou say-ing?” I’m running out of breath
“THAT HE’S A GOOD FOR NOTHING PERSON AND I WILL NOT WASTE MY TIME ON HIM” he declared those words directly at my face as he promptly let go of his arm in my neck, and I was left there to fall to the ground while catching my breath watching Nubes enter the lift just what the hell happened! I’m so confused
“Chico” huh, that voice I turn around to find where the voice was coming from and the I saw a man standing behind me
“B-boss?!”
“Did you saw and heard that all?” I asked if he did, why didn’t he do something was Nubes right
“I did before you even came.”
“You heard all of that. Why didn’t you defend yourself, boss?”
“Because he was right, Chico.”
“Boss?...what do you mean he’s right he’s a jerk! You don’t deserve any of those words, boss!” I yelled at him, but it did not seem even to bother him. It almost seems like he didn’t care anymore as he was right. As these fuzzy thoughts entered my mind, I scanned him to see if he had some bruises. There was one in his face, and his hands were bleeding as well.
“Let’s go, Chico. I’m going to see Yoru.” right, hmm, I sure hope he’s okay now.
“Ah-ahm o-okay boss,” I replied as it still left me puzzled about how Nubes’ word didn’t bother him. I’m starting to see the old him come back, his eyes empty, his expression colder. Why are we slowly losing you again, Astra?
Astra’s POV
There’s nothing left in me anymore, no feelings, no anything in my life. It all seems empty again. I walked away from this place that served as my escape, but I guess even if I go far away, I can never run away from the feeling of dread and misery that I have got used to it. I don’t know where to go anymore.
“That good for nothing insolent piece of s**t!” I whisper to myself as I kick the elevator’s door out of the disappointment of what just happened. As I walked down the stairs, I heard Nubes banging and shouting something. It appears like he didn’t notice me.
“Hmmm?”
“That good for nothing insolent piece of s**t!”
“Grr!!” You and I...are really like you’re a piece of s**t as well, but someone better than me
“What is up with that reaction? I know I see it in his face. He cared, but that’s all? Letting it slide just like that, he didn’t even do something! I couldn’t as well, but what is wrong with you. you emotionless worthless s**t!” I...
“Arghhhhh!” I wanted...I wanted to feel something I really do, but why can’t I? Why can’t I feel something or show emotion? Just this numb feeling I can’t get away. I’m so lost!
“Ahh,” I muttered under my breath as my head suddenly ached, causing me to feel dizzy. The terrors of my vision yet again flash through my mind. I’m going crazy; I’m going crazy!! Why can’t it stop? I ran a blade into my hands in an attempt to disturb my thoughts; it cut deep. The blood, the blood dripping from my hands, yet the sensation of pain from the wound can’t be felt. What is happening? How, how am I not feeling anything? Am I really that emotionless that it turns me into a monster? No, I’m not.
*(In Astra’s Mind)*
“A monster, you’re a monster.”
“Hahaha, what are you going to do?
“You’re nothing without me.”
“See that they’re dead, and it’s all because of you!”
“Stop it please!”
“Not my child, not my child!”
“He’s a worthless piece of shit.”
“AHHHHH! I’m a monster.” Why can’t I feel anything!!!
“I’m sorry, Yoru, if I could just make him care that much.” ….he’s crying? I can’t even shed tears anymore. I’m so lost. Everything is so painful, but why can’t I feel something? Why does it not ache anymore ah that’s right, I’m nothing now I’m useless I’m...I’m good as dead
“I’m sorry I failed you.” You didn’t fail him. Why do you care so much about Yoru?
“I failed everyone, not just you, Yoru,” I whispered to myself.
“Grrr eat your ass, Astra!”
“Nubes”
“Chico?” what is he doing here. I watched sitting on the floor as the scene ravel before my eyes.
“Chico…” Nubes pinned him on the wall, yet I know that Chico can handle this. I can step in if this goes on further.
“WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT THAT HEARTLESS BOSS OF YOURS!” heartless, am I really?
“HE HAD NO CARE IN WHAT’S HAPPENING OR WHATSOEVER!”
“I MAY BE A FOOL, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO BE BLINDED BY YOUR BOSS SELFISHNESS”
“I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM; HE DOES NOT EVEN GIVE A s**t ABOUT US!”
“JUST LIKE YORU HE’LL LEAVE YOU DIE THERE TOO!”
“Wha-a-t a-a-re y-ou say-ing?” I’m running out of breath,
“THAT HE’S A GOOD FOR NOTHING PERSON AND I WILL NOT WASTE MY TIME ON HIM” Chico, I’m sorry… I was going to step in when Nubes already took his grip away from Chico. I don’t even know what to say to you, Chico. Maybe I’m not the one you should look up to; I’m nothing other than a self-centered boss of yours
“Chico”
“B-boss?!”
“Did you saw and heard that all?” He asked, “I did before you even came”
“You heard all of that. Why didn’t you defend yourself, boss?” Chico...
“Because he was right, Chico” You won’t... Chico, are you ready to hate me
“Boss?...what do you mean he’s right he’s a jerk! You don’t deserve any of those words, boss!”
“Let’s go, Chico. I’m going to see Yoru.”
“Ah-ahm o-okay boss” this is all for the better be well, Chico
- Writer
