Guarded heart

Chapter 16 Star gazing

LISA'S POV

I'd spent the afternoon thinking long and hard what I wanted. I was still torn. My head said stay safe. My heart said take a leap of faith. And Chris just messaged saying he was on his way. Emma wasn't back yet and I was glad because I wanted to speak with Chris alone. I made my way outside instead of climbing into the egg chair I sat at the patio set. It's still funny seeing all the furniture out front. But it makes life easier for me atm.

I didn't have long to wait once I sat down before I see Chris car driving up the drive way. I hoped he got plenty off sleep I thought to myself again. When he pulled up he got out the car holding a little guft bag. He smiled at me and waved while saying "Good evening Lisa".

"Good evening Chris" I say twiddling my fingers feeling nervous again. But I smiled to try hide my nerves.

I watched as Chris took each step towards me while he was also watching me. He his landed on mine and we stared at each other as he made the rest of his way to me. Damn he looks good again. Stop it Lisa I mentally think to myself.

"Did you have a good day?" Chris asks taking a seat next to me.

"I spent it thinking alot" I say looking down at my hands not knowing where to look.

"You worry to much and think to much" Chris says taking my hands in his.

"What got you nervous? Your twiddling your fingers and look nervous as hell" Chris says

"I didn't think it was that obvious" I say.

"It is, tell me what's bothering you?" Chris asks without taking his hands away and I'm starting to get use to his hands holding mine. And I actually like it, it's comforting.

"I um, well. You see" I try to start but don't know where to start.

"Take your time" Chris says and I look up at Chris and see he smiling at me with encouraging eyes.

"What would a date involve?" I ask then bite my lips. I see Chris go to speak but I cut him off. "I mean well, if I decided to go on a date what would it involve? How would it go down? Its been to long and I can't remember what it's like. I didn't even properly date before when I was younger. I'm not sure. Actually forget it. I'm not sure I want to know. Forget I said anythinh" I say.

"Well it would involve going out together, maybe a dinner date, maybe the movies, maybe a stroll along the beach or bowling. Hell even a picnic there's so many options. It's kinda like hanging out with your friends doing something fun. Getting to know the other person more. There might be hand holding. A hug may occur. And if your extra lucky you may even get a goodbye kiss at the end off it. But then. Again you hold as much power on a date as the other person. You say of you want to stay or go. You say if you want to hold hand, cuddle have a good night kiss or not. Does that answer your question?" Chris asks.

"Yes" I say.

"And do you feel better knowing the answer now?" I ask.

"Yes, I do" I say.

"Good, please stop worrying about things. I won't force you into dating me. Take your time. But please don't worry or stress over things I don't want you worrying like this" Chris says I look up at him and I can see he is sincere.

"Okay, I will try not to worry about things" I say.

"I brought your daily gift, do you want to see it?" Chris asks

"What did you bring today?" I ask.

"Here why don't you see for yourself" Chris says hand me a little gift bag.

I take the bag and look inside. It's daisy live perfume with a card from the perfume store. It says

Hi Lisa, we hope you have a speedy recovery. From everyone at the perfume store.

It still over whelmes me that all these people are doing such nice things for me.

"The perfume store was in contact a few days back. They wanted to know what you liked. Summer said you was running low on this one and it's one of your favourite" Chris says.

"It's true" I say placing it on the table beside us.

"Do you still want to have breakfast in the morning? I'd understand if you changed your mind?" Chris says.

"I still want to have breakfast with you" I say looking at Chris and he smiles at me as I say that.

"Great, how a out sprinkles? Would Emma like that? Or doesn't she like sprinkles. Maybe you don't want Emma having sprinkles for breakfast" Chris starts to ramble on and it's so sweet. I stop him by grabbing his hands.

"Chris sprinkles would be perfect. Thankyou. But remember it's my treat" I say.

"Okay sprinkles it is" Chris says and I realise Chris seems just as nervous as I do. I wonder why that is. It's the first time I've noticed Chris to seem nervous like this but it's so cute and sweet. It warms my heart. We stare at each other for a few moments until we hear BEEP BEEP. I look up and see its Ryan and luke coming down the drive. I wonder where Summer and Sean are.

I wave to them and they wave back.

"I should get going" Chris says realising my hands. I grab his hands again smiling "Your forgetting something" I say.

Chris looks at me confused then says "What's that?".

"I need a photo for my daily update. So sit back down and get ready to smile into the camera" I say. Chris sits back down as I get my phone. I quickly get the camera up and snap a picture. Me and Chris are both smiling.

"Thanks" I say.

"It's nothing" Chris says as I hear Ryan shout "We brought Emma back with us as Summer and Sean went on home". I look over at Ryan and see he is out the car with luke about to get Emma out the car.

"I will let you see Emma, you must of missed her this Weekend" Chris says.

"I did, but it doesn't mean you have to go straight away. You can stay for a cuppa if you want" I say.

"It's okay, I will be late for work otherwise. I'm on desk duty tonight" Chris says.

"Okay, have a good night at work" I say smiling.

"have a good evening Lisa. I will see you in the morning" Chris says then he walks off as I hear Emma shouting "Mummy, I'm back. Hello Chris".

"Hello Emma" Chris says as Emma nears him.

"Are you going already? I've only just got back" Emma says

"Yes, but I will see you in the morning. In the meantime, I know your mummy missed you alot. So go say hi to your mummy and be a good girl. You must remember to take care of mummy as she has a poorly leg" I hear Chris says and it makes my heart swell watching Emma and Chris talk.

"I will, I promise. Are you going to work?" Emma asks.

"Yes, I'm going to work" Chris says smiling at Emma.

"Okay, bye Chris" Emma says.

"Bye, Emma" Chris says and Co tinue to his car as Emma comes running to me. As Emma hugs me she starts telling me about her weekend. I listen while looking at Chris as he gets in his car. Our eyes meet and he smiles. I smile back as he drives off to work. As his car drives away I feel sad he is going and it shocks me that I feel this. Damn it heart why are you failing me when it comes to Chris. Why do you have to like and want him? Wasn't we okay before on our own? I think to myself.

"Lisa?" Ryan says

"yeah?" I say.

"What's wrong?" Ryan asks.

"Mummy why are you crying?" Emma says.

I wipe my tears away quickly.

"My leg just hurts" I say lieing.

"Oh, mummy let me go get nanny" Emma says.

"Luke, take Emma in. Emma don't worry I will look after mummy" Ryan says.

"Sure" luke says picking Emma up and carrying her inside dispite her protests. Ryan wraps his arms around me and I just cry. I don't even know why this flood gate of tears have opened.

"It's okay" Ryan says as he holds me close and I cry for what seems like ages.

When my tears carm down. Ryan looks at me.

"Okay baby girl, tell me what's wrong?" Ryan asks.

"I'm going to break my own promise what if I get hurt again" I say as more tears start to come. Ryan wipes my tears away. "What promise?" Ryan asks.

"The one where I stay single forever. But the Chris comes along and makes me want to break that promise. And everyone is all for it" I say.

"That's what your crying about?" Ryan says smiling.

"Why are you happy?" I ask.

"Because I want you to break that promise and fall in love. I want you feel happiness. I want to see you find love. I see how you look at Chris. And sure it probably scares the hell out of you. But I think you owe it to yourself, to give yourself a chance to fall in love" Ryan says

"What if it's the wrong choice. What if I get hurt. What if I can't cope. What if it destroys me so bad get bad depression again?" I say.

"Shh, stop with the worrying. What if its the best choice ever? What if you become so happy? What if you get married? What of Emma has a father figure? What if your loved forever?" Ryan says

"You can't know that though" I say.

"And you can't know it's going to end badly. Plus I got a good feeling about Chris. I like him. He looks at you like he wants to protect you from everything" Ryan says

"I want to give Chris a chance but I'm scared" I say.

"Start of slow. Go on a date" Ryan says.

"That idea makes me so nervous" I say.

"Good. Dates are ment to make you nervous. But also excited to get dressed up. Excited to have fun" Ryan says

"Okay but I don't know what to dress like for date on the best of days let alone in a cast" I say.

"I can help you. Once you decide on a date to go on a date. You come to me baby girl and I will help you. He won't know what hits him once I'm done making you even more beautiful than you already are" Ryan says. And I can't help laughing.

"Your really help me?" I ask.

"What just because I'm your brother I can't help you like a sister?" Ryan asks.

"No thats not what I meant. I just ment your help me prepare for a date. Your help me get over the overwhelming feelings I get with it?" I ask.

"Of course I will. Now stop crying. Let's go in and you can hear all the fun we had. Then your going to message Chris to book a date for a date. Then we will arrange a shopping trip. Get the girls in on it to help with your make up and hair" Ryan says. And I can't help think it sounds like so much fun.

"Okay, it's time to be a big girl and take a chance" I say.

"Excaulty. Now let me help you inside you look tired" Ryan says helping me stand up. I lean on him for support as I hop the rest of the way in doors.

"Don't you worry baby girl, everything will be okay. I promise" I hear Ryan whisper.

CHRIS POV

I was three hours into my shift. And it was quiet. I kept thinking about what Lisa said. I wondered why she was pushing herself so much. Was it for herself? Was it for her family? And it sure as hell better not be for me. I hate seeing her look so tormented. Maybe I should stop this whole daily gift thing. I don't want Lisa to feel pressured Into anything.

The front desk rang and I answered it.

"Hello Pc walker speaking. How may I help you?" I ask.

"Its callum. I have someone coming to cover you. You need to check Lisas post. You should also speak with her" callum says.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"Just get your phone out and look" Callum says.

"Why are you getting someone to cover me for?" I ask getting my phone out.

"Because I think you should go see Lisa" callum says.

I open up f*******: and check Lisas latest post.

Today as you can see this lovely gentleman in the photo above PC Walker. He stopped by with today's gift. Thankyou perfume store for the lovely perfume. I'm so greatful for everyone coming together. But I don't need these greats gifts from you all. I know you all care, however I'm thankful to you all.

I'm having a few personal things going on. I'm going through emtional stuff. I really want to do these daily updates but if I fail to update one day, then please don't hold it against me. I felt overwhelmed today. I felt confused. I felt like I didn't know if I'd swim or drown. But through talking with lots of people I found a little faith. I found a little hope. I found a little light. But my unlimate question left is what would all your perfect dates consist of?. How dies dating go down these days?. And oh lord have me mercy but some tell me please but I'm a little gutless. I'm a little afraid I may back out so I'm going to put this here with all of you as my witnesses. That way I can't let fear take over. I can't back out. But u here by agree to allow Chris Walker to take me on date. I'm not sure when or where but I agree to it.

The women just announced to the whole world she will allow me to take her on a date so she can't back out. My god I think to myself.

"Callum, did she really just post that online?" I ask.

"She did. And me and you both know that womens past. This is huge. Man you need to get your ass there and get a date set. Get a plan set. Man go claim that womens date. People are loving this you should see the comments. They want a love story" Callum say

"Having the daily gift in the media everyday fine. But I won't be having my dating life or Lisas dating life broadcast everywhere. When we go on a date it's going to be between me and Lisa not everyone else" I say

"Okay, do as you need. But still go claim that date before she deletes the post and trys to back out" Callum says.

"Who's coming to cover me?" I ask.

"Just go ahead, there be there any minute now anyway. Go see lisa" Callum says then he hangs up on me. I was in shock. Not only did Lisa announce it online she would go on a date with me. Callum also hung up on me.

Damn I thought as I reread the post again and again until cover came for me.

LISA'S POV

Me and Emma had decided to watch the sunset and do some star gazing. However Emma had fallen asleep before the sun fully set. Luke carried Emma on up to bed while Ryan came and cosyed up to me in the egg chair.

"You know everyone is going crazy about your post online" Ryan says

"Well I made my mind up and I didn't want to back out. I can't back out now can I" I say but now I'm completely nervous.

"There's always a way to back out. Post or not. It's just harder to back out when you told so many people so publicly. However I'm glad your going to go on date. We'll I hope so. I hope Chris has seen it" Ryan says as I cuddle into him a little more to get comfortable.

"I dunno he is at work. I'm not sure when he will see it" I say.

"Well didn't you say your having breakfast in the morning?" Ryan asks.

"Yes, with Emma that's not a date" I say.

"I know that, however you can plan the date then" Ryan says.

"I'm so nervous I don't think I can sleep tonight. My stomach feels like it's in knots" I say.

"That's because it's knew to you. It's normal to feel nervous. It's normal to feel scared and worried about if the other person will accept or reject you. However I think Chris will accept your date" Ryan says.

"I hope so now I've put it out on social media" I say.

"Your be fine. I saw how he looked at you earlier. That bloke is smittened" Luke says coming to join us.

"Is Emma okay? You took a long time" I say.

"Please, Emma didn't even wake up. I just made us hot chocolates" luke says

I drag my eyes away from the stars above to look at luke. He has a tray of three hot chocolates. "You legend" I say smiling.

"See I knew a hot chocolate would cheer you up" Luke says.

"Hot chocolates have always been my friends in a crisis. I won't deny that" I say.

"I wouldn't call this a crisis" luke chuckles.

"Hey, it's a crisis for Lisa. But I don't think it will last long. Once Lisa realises it's okay to date. And overcomes the newness of this I reckon she will be okay" Ryan says as if I'm not even here.

"like I said I hope so" I say looking up at the sky again to watch the stars.

"So tell me what would you do if Chris showed up right now?" luke asks.

"It won't happen. He is at work" I say

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" luke says.

"what are you on about?" I say.

"Baby girl look up the drive way instead of the stars" Ryan says.

I look at the drive way and my god. Chris is driving down my drive way. I thought he was working. What does he want? Oh god did I make him mad with my post?. Damn I shouldn't of done it. He could of called but no he is coming in person.

"Quick pretend I'm asleep" I say

"Oh, no you don't" luke says.

"That's right up! Now. Your be fine. You got this. Your a queen. Your Lisa King who can handle anything. You inspire me. You can deal with Chris as if he is a fly on the wall! Now suck it up stop being scared and see what he wants" Ryan says getting off the egg chair.

"Where are you going?" I ask as I see Chris pull up and my heart seems to be hammering against my chest.

"relax I will be inside shout if you need me. But I think you both need a moment" Ryan says.

"Luke" I say with pleading eyes as I see Chris get out of his car.

"Sorry baby girl Ryan is right. Plus you got this I have all my faith in you" luke says as Ryan links arms with him and they walk inside.

"I didn't think you would be wake let alone outside" Chris say as he approaches me.

"We was star gazing as watching the sunset. Emma crashed before the sun even fully set. Ryan and luke ditched me when they see your car driving down the drive. Now I'm a one women star gazing" I say looking at the stars.

"Then can I join you?" Chris says.

"Sure" I say without taking my eyes off the stars. But from the corner of my eyes I see chris sit next to me before laying down to watch the stars as well.

"I thought you had work?" I ask since I didn't expect him to be here right now I had to ask.

"Well you see I was at work. But then my night turned very interesting" Chris says

"Oh" I say as if I have no idea what he is on about. But I think he means the post.

"I tell you the story" Chris says.

"OK" I say yet I've still not taken my eyes off the stars. But I feel Chris gaze on me.

"Well it started off that I showed up to work. It was a slow evening and I prayed for something to happen to keep me awake. My prayers came true. My boss rang me and said he had cover for me and that I had to check your post. I was thrown straight away. Confused. Worried what was going on. So I asked out right what happened. But callum just said to read your post and that cover was coming. I was dismissed from work and that I should come and see you. I read the post and I was shocked at first I will admit. But then it sunk in. And well callum is right I should come straight here and plan this date face to face. So tell me Lisa where and when do you want this date to happen?" Chris says as he takes my hand in his. And I swear I didn't know I was holding my breath until I realised it.

"I don't know. I don't do dating remember. I don't know where I want to go. Isn't it a man thing to arrange a date? Or is it now both female and males after all we are in the 21st century. I don't know. You decide. I can't take the pressure" I say rambling on until Chris puts a finger to my mouth. "Shh, it's okay. I will sort the date out. But you can decide when. How does that sound?" Chris says.

I finally have the nerve to turn and look at Chris in the face. "I can do that" I say.

"You didn't have to decide today you know. You could of taken years to decide on weather you wanted to go on a date or not and if of been fine with that" Chris says.

"I know. But I had to figure it out quickly for my own state of mind" I say turning to look back at the stars.

"So long as you only rushed it for yourself and no one else" Chris says.

"Don't worry, I've made my mind up. I shall stand by it" I say.

"But if you wanted to change your mind I wouldn't hold it against you" I say.

"Please don't confuse me. I just decided to a date it was a huge things for me to do. Don't go giving me a way to back out more easily. Let me try" I say.

"Okay, so when do you want this date to happen. I need to know how many days I have to plan it" Chris says.

"How about Friday? Or are you working?" I ask.

"I can do Friday" Chris says

"I guess your going to go home now then?" I ask.

"Do you want me to go home?" Chris asks.

"I won't stop you going home if you want to go home. But if you would like to stay watch the stars with me a little longer then I would like that as well" I say.

"I will watch the stars with you" Chris says.

"In that case in getting comfortable" I say going to get the pillow from under my foot.

"What are you doing?" Chris says.

"Going to use the pillow for my head that Ryan disappeared and I was cuddled up to him. Now I need the pillow" I say.

"Well you could save your foot and cuddle me if you would like?" Chris says.

I look at Chris and I think it over. It's not like he hasn't held me close before. He has lifted me and carried me more times than I can remember to count this week. He never has wandering hands. He is a gentleman. He always asks beforehand. And I did say I would go on a date with him. I look at Chris in the eyes and see he waiting giving me the space and time to figure it out. Always so patient and caring I think to myself.

"Okay" I say as I lay back down but Chris let's me use his arm as a head rest and cuddle into him slight as I get comfortable watching the stars.

We lay like this for a few minutes in silence. Then Chris says "It's a lovely clear night to watch the stars".

"I know it's beautiful out" I say.

"It sure is" Chris says but I can tell he isn't even looking at the stars he is looking at me.