Guarded heart

Chapter 13 Don't fear me

LISA'S POV

Me and Chris was awake until 1am texting until I fell asleep. When I woke up this morning I had two messages from Chris. The response then one saying I must have fallen asleep and he wished me a good night sleep. Chris ended the text saying sweet dreams and I smiled. The last time I stayed awake that late messaging someone was back years ago with Simon when we were dating. Look how that turned out I think to myself. Don't do this Lisa don't think about him. He isn't worth it I think to myself. Plus Chris isn't Simon and Chris is just as friend I tell myself.

"Mummy wake up! Oh your awake mummy. Mummy aunty summer said that she and uncle Sean and uncle Ryan and uncle luke are taking Skylar and Dennis to lego land today there even staying over night. Uncle Sean said I can go if its okay with you" Emma says running into my bedroom and climbing into my bed to hug me while giving me pleading eyes.

"You want to go lego land that bad?" I ask.

"Yes mummy, please say I can go" Emma says with her adorable pleading eyes.

"Of course you can go. Ask aunty Summer to come see me quickly thought" I say.

"Thankyou mummy, I love you mummy" Emma says then runs out the room and I can't help smiling at how excited Emma is. I know I can't do much exciting while in this stupid cast, but it doesn't mean Emma has to suffer as well I think to myself.

I quickly text Chris while I wait for Summer to come up.

To Chris

Sorry I fell asleep last night. I slept well. I hope you slept well as well. Have a good day.

I then sat up and decided to quickly use the bathroom. As I was just entering the bathroom Summer walked in.

"Hey could ypu Puck me some clothes out while I quickly use the bathroom then we can talk" I say.

"Sure, take your time I don't want you falling over" Summer says.

"Don't worry I won't fall. I only seem to do that around Chris" I say laughing as I hobble into the bathroom.

"Yeah I noticed that. Why is that?" Summer asks through the door.

"I don't know, but it's annoying" I say.

"Maybe you get nervous around Chris that could be why" Summer says.

"Might be. Who knows but he is good at catching me. I've mastered the crutches now though thankfully and my wrist isn't as sore from the last fall. My bruises are starting to go down now as well" I say as I reach the toilet.

"I'm glad. I still can't believe we started the week with you in a car accident. It scared all of us. I'm so glad your alright though. I don't know what I'd do without you around" Summer says.

"You would be fine. However I'm glad I alright as well minus the broken leg I'm actually in goodish spirits I think" I say.

"Then how come you wanted to speak with me?" Summer asks as I finish my business.

"Because I want you to take Josh and Beth as Emma's bodyguards with you" I say.

"But Beth is your bodyguard" Summer says

"I know but Beth has done loads to help me these past few days and worked 24/7 with Jade on holiday. Jade comes back tomorrow and I'm here with mum and dad's security team. I feel that Beth deserves some fun to. So she can be Emma's buddy on the rides ect" I say finishing to wash my hands.

"Okay we will take Beth and josh. I've put some clothes on the bed for you" Summer says.

"Thanks" I say.

"Is that all you wanted?" Summer asks as I approach the door.

"yes" I say

"Are you sure?" Summer asks.

"Yeah, I just. Well nevermind what did you pick out for me to wear?" I ask stood in the door way to the bathroom.

"It's on the bed you can have a look. But I want to know what's bothering you" Summer says.

"Ahh. Its stupid. Me and Chris texted until I fell asleep at one this morning. When I woke up and see a message from Chris I realised I fell asleep while texting him. Then I remembered the last person I texted like that was well you know who and Its just one more reminder of him. God why can't he stop haunting me even now I get these stupid reminders of him. I just want to live my life happy. See this is why I can't do a relationship all the first will remind me and haunt me of the past. I'm not strong enough summer. I can't do it"i say starting to panic.

"Hey, carm down its okay. Remember your okay. If your not ready then that's fine. But no matter what there will always be firsts so if you ever do decided to do a relationship do it with someone who is understanding and patient. They will help conquer your fears while loving you even more for being so strong. Right now your safe and it's okay to have minor sets. The main question is did you enjoy stay awake so long talking with Chris? " Summer asks.

" Yes, I like talking with Chris he is easy to talk to to" I say as I reach the bed and see white shorts with a sleeveless blue and white stripy shirt.

"Then don't worry about the past, just remember you had fun talking until one in the morning and that's what's happening now. It doesn't mean anythi g other than two friends chatting away like there's no tomorrow just enjoying a good conversation" Summer says.

"Your right. I need to focus on the good part" I say

"That's my girl. Now are you going to be okay? I've got to pack up some of Emma's stiff being swinging by mine to pack for me Sean and the kids. We will back tomorrow night. But you know you can ring me if you need me" Summer says.

"It's fine you go. I will be fine. And thankyou for taking Emma" I say.

"Yohr welcome. Enjoy your day. Your mum and dad are talking a out a pinic lunch with you" Summer says.

"Okay thanks" I say as summer gives me a hug before she leaves the room.

I quickly get changed and quite like today's outfit. I put my hair Into a bun for quickness. As I go to grab my phone I see a message from Chris.

Chris

I slept well thankyou. And it's okay yoh fell asleep, I wasn't far behind you in the land of nod. I hope you have a good day as well. I shall be up this afternoon before my night shift at work.

To Chris

I'm glad you slept well. What time do you start work? And I hope you have a good day as well. Swing by whenever your ready I'm in all day.

I then put my phone in my pocket and headed down stairs. When I reached the front room. I see all the kids excited for there weekend away. Emma didn't even notice me until I was halfway to the sofa.

"Mummy, your up. I'm going to miss you tonight, but I will see you tomorrow" Emma says.

"Aww I will miss you to my princess. But your have lots of fun and you can tell me all about it tomorrow" I say.

"Yeah, we will have lots of fun Aunty Lisa" Dennis says

"I'm sure you will poppet. Make sure your all good as well" I say.

"We will" They all say at the same time. There always together that they often answer the same way at the same time it's funny.

"Good, now make sure you have everything ready to go" I say taking my seat. With that all the kids go running out the room to make sure they have everything they need from nanny's and grandads house for when they leave.

CHRIS POV

I spent the morning texting Lisa on and off while I did the house work. I then had some lunch before I headed to the station where today's gift of the day was awaiting. I decided to catch up on some paperwork for a hour at work since I couldn't tackle it with Lewis around on my last day in that way it wouldnt be as much to do tonight. Then I made my way to Lisas. I couldn't wait to see Lisa today. After all the messages I we had exchanged since yesterday I feel like we know each other a little more. I feel like Lisa wants to talk to me as much as I enjoy and want to comtinue talking with Lisa all day long. Even up until this past hour we had been messaging. I told Lisa I was on my way as I walk dout the police station to my car. And hear I am now driving into Lisas parents drive way smiling because I can't wait to see Lisa. She said half her family have gone to lego land for the Weekend so would Only be her and her parents here today. As I pulled up I saw Lisa was in the egg chair waving to me.

"Hey" I say as I get out the car.

"hi" Lisa says back smiling at me and it warms my heart to see Lisa smiling. Its a smile that reaches her twinkling eyes. She is so beautiful today I think to myself as I go to my boot. I had to lower the back seats down just to fit the gift in. I open the boot and bring out the massive box set it next to the car.

"What the hell is that?" Lisa asks.

"Today's gift, is from B%Q they felt a bbq would help you cheer up. So they have given you this brandon new bbq" I say shutting the boot then pointing to the box.

"Oh my word, that looks huge!" Lisa says.

"Yes, but there is more. Within the next two hours the store B&Q teamed up with shall be showing up to complete todays gift. So your stuck with me until they arrive" I say smiling.

"Then fill your boots with getting that thing set up" Lisa says pointing to the bbq.

"Okay, your wish is my command my lady" I say trying not to laughing while bowing with one hand behind my back and the other arm finishing off the bowing by slowly coming out to its side as I swirl my wrist round. Lisa starts laughing and I'm glad I made me her laugh because it's sweet music to my ears.

"Okay Mr dramatic, would you like a drink while you build the bbq for me?" Lisa says

"I'd love one please" as I bring the box up next to Lisa. I see Lisa is on her phone she glances her eyes away from it for a second smiling at me as our eyes meet. "I texted my mum to bring drinks" Lisa says.

"Where do you want this once it's built?" I ask.

"I shall have my dad sort that, I don't want to be to cheeky in my demands of help" Lisa says giving a cheeky grin.

"It's fine, I did say it was the polices fault so therefore you need anything no matter how big or small the demands are to just ask" I say smiling back at Lisa.

"I know but I don't blame you. Your all forgiven already. Your way to nice to abuse with a long list of demands" Lisa says. Yet I wouldn't mind being abused with a long list of demands from Lisa I mentally think to myself. But instead I reply.

"Why thankyou for being just as nice and forgiving." Then I start to open the box up and get Lisas wish underway. But out the top of my eye I see Lisa is starting to move. And being in the silly egg chair I wonder why she doesn't ask for help to steady it to get out. I get it's more comfortable but jesus christ the women should ask for help I think to myself as I stand up. I walk over and just steady the chair. Lisa looks up at me with wide eyes before she quickly looks away grabbing her crutches to get up. "Thanks" Lisa says. "You can thank me by asking for help out of this thing in future" I say.

"Okay" Lisa says as she starts to hobble away.

"Where are you going anyway?" I ask curiously

"To the lady's room, don't worry I won't abandoned you while your building the bbq for me. I'm not that mean. I. Shall be back" Lisa says and I can hear her chuckle slightly under her breath.

"I wasn't afraid you would abandon me. I was just curious" I say opening the front door for Lisa.

As Lisa reaches the front door she stops and looks at me. "I shall be fine from here but thanks for getting the door" Lisa says then she continues her hobbling away as I say "Your welcome". I then continued to get the bbq set up. It looked pretty easy to assemble. I was just finishing reading the instructions when Karen came out with two cuppas. "Here you go enjoy" Karen says. "Thankyou" I reply then she just disappeared. That was strange I thought she is usually more talkative. Plus she usually talks about Lisa in a good way.

I was busy assembling the bbq together when Lisa came back out. She briefly stopped in the door way and was watching me for a moment. I was about to ask if she was okay but then she started hobbling again. That was until she stopped again after moving the distance of three steps. I looked up at Lisa and realised she looked tired so I stood while asking "you okay?" Lisa slightly turned her head to meet my gaze as I approached her saying "I'm okay, just need a minute before I continue".

"Have you been busy today?" I ask.

"This morning before Emma left yes I dragged myself out here. Then I hobbled my way upstairs for a shower. Then I hobbled myself to the back garden for a picnic with my parents. Then I hobbled inside before I hobbled my way out here" Lisa says. "No wonder your tired" I say smiling "yes it's been a long day" Lisa says.

"let me help you" I say and Lisa briefly looks at me again for a split second our eyes met and I can see how tired Lisa is by the look in her eyes. "okay" is all Lisa responded and it was all I needed to hear. I my arms around Lisas waist and gently lift her up while she drops the crutches smiling at me. "I thought you was going to help me hop, but I think this is even better I feel so tired and my arms ache like hell this evening" Lisa says as I place her in the egg chair. "I'm glad to be of service" I say smiling at Lisa before I go to move away. Except Lisa stops me by grabbing my hand but she quickly let's it go as if I zapped her with electric. "what's is it?" I ask. "Can you please pass my drink over?" Lisa says.

"Of course I can" I say smiling and trying not to laugh as I grab our drinks. Lisa is just to cute I think to myself. I quickly down my drink then walk back to Lisa with her drink. But I decided to have a little fun.

I hold out my free hand to Lisa and she looks at me confused. "You can have your drink when your no longer scared of my hand. Take it" I say smiling.

"I'm not scared of your hand" Lisa Says.

"Then prove it. Because you quickly just grabbed and let go of my hand as if it was electricity that burned you deeply. However I didn't hear no screams of pain. And I don't see no burn marks" I say.

"Damn you Chris" I hear Lisa mutter as she reaches out her hand and grabs mine. "Happy?" Lisa says.

"See nothing bad happens. The most that would happen with these hands connected is our hands could be one clakky and sweaty. But other than that these are safe hands" I say looking Lisa directly in the eyes. I then take her hand that we are holding and bring it to her drink. "Here is your drink" I say smiling.

"Thanks" Lisa says. "Don't ever be afraid of me Lisa. I wouldn't ever hurt you. I'd happily remind you that every day as well if needed" I say then I turn around and go back to building the bbq.

LISA'S POV

Did he just see right through my lies and insecurity or what. Damn it. He saw through my fears and broken them down as if there nothing. The second I touched his hand I quickly let go in fear of doing something wrong. Yet he came back and demolished that like he was putting out a fire of fear or something. My heart was beating so fast that I had to get my thoughts together. Damn it this bloke can see through me so easily I think to myself. And I find that scary as well. I drink my drink while I sit quietly and watch Chris build the bbq. He keeps glance up at me at times. I want to turn my head away but I won't show fear so let him look at me watching him. But I don't say anything. Hell I don't know what to say since he saw right through me.

"Keeo staring at me like that and I shall make you hold my hand again so that I know your fully over the fear of my hands" Chris says breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I told you I'm not scared. I wasnt even looking at you I'm just lost in my own thoughts" I say offering a weak perfectic smile. Lies Lisa you still can't tell the truth now even though he saw through you I think to myself.

"Keep telling yourself that your not fooling anyone" Chris says

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I will show you in a minute I've nearly finished assembly the bbq" Chris says smiling at me.

"Show me what" I ask.

"Your see, be patient" Chris says.

I sat quietly the last few minutes it took Chris to finish the bbq. It was a nice looking bbq very big family sized bqq.

"Okay let's show you what I mean" Chris says walking towards me. And I don't know why I suddenly feel nervous.

Chris takes my hand and I shuffle slightly forwards curious what Chris wants to do.

"See you don't care I've taken your hand in mine. I could probably pick you up and spin you around and you would be use to that type of touch now." Chris say taking his hand back.

"Yeah see I'm not scared of your hand" I say.

"Wrong" Chris says

"okay it's just weird adjusting to having a male friend. I think over everything I say and do in fear! Are you happy now?" I say finally caving in.

Chris takes a seat next to me takes my hand in his.

"No I'm not happy, I knew it already. But I don't want you to fear me. Be yourself. Do as you please I won't hate you or do anything awful I swear" Chris says.

"Close your eyes" Chris says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Just close your eyes other will find something to turn I to a blindfold" Chris says

"But why?" I ask

"Because we are going to play a game. Trust me" Chris says.

"Okay" I say closing my eyes

"Okay I'm going to move us both so we are a little more comfortable for this game" Chris says and I feel him move us back but also we are kinda facing each other I think

"Okay, reach out and touch me guess the body part your touching" Chris says.

"Omg, really?" I say.

"Yes, how can you get over your fear if you don't try things. Now come on let's play the game" Chris says.

I move my hand and I'm nervous. I am high because I don't want to touch anything I shouldn't. I feel around and I think I'm touching maybe Chris's shoulder so I pat gently as I move upwards slightly and in sure I've found his neck.

"Shoulder now neck?" I say.

"Yes" Chris says then he pulls my hand away gently.

"Go again" Chris says as he figits slightly

"That's not fair" I say

"Life's not fair and you know that already, now go again you need to get over your fear" Chris says.

"damn it" I mutter as I start to fell around again. And I feel hard lean flesh flat beneath my hands. There's definitely material between his body and my hand though. I move my hand up slightly not wanting to go down that's for sure. And I'm pretty confident it's his chest as I suddenly feel his heart beating through his chest and onto my hand. Thump thump thump thump. And I can hear and feel my own heartbeat thumping away just as much. I feel Chris hand gebtky slide over my hand "What do you feel?" Chris asks but in a softer quite voice this time.

"I um" Start to say but Chris says "Tell me what do you feel?" "Your body and your heart" I quickly say.

I turn my hand so I can hold Chris hand.

"I don't want to play anymore" I squeezing Chris hand gently for some strength.

"Then you don't have to play anymore. Plus I don't think your scared of my hand anymore. Just the rest of my body" Chris says as I open my eyes and I see his eyes are on mine and my face. Yet I've still not let go off Chris hand why haven't I let go? I think to myself as I'm trying to carm down my own racing heart. I hear a vehicle in the drive way I turn my head and see its a Icelands van.

"Looks like the second part of today's gift has arrived" Chris says.

"Yes" I say turning back to look at Chris

"I need my hand back since your gripping it like it's going to disappear. That way I can help get the food in" Chris says.

"Oh, I'm sorry" I say taking back my hand

"Don't be sorry" Chris says then he gets up to go sort the Icelands delivery out.

I don't know what just happened. Damn it Lisa I think to myself.

Before I know it Chris has taken the food indoors the Icelands can has disappeared. Then my mum is coming out with a few bits of food saying my dad will be doing a bbq for dinner. But I'm still in my own world. Until I hear Chris say "Lisa are you doing today's photo?"

I nearly forgot all about it.

"Yes" I say going to get up.

"Where are you going?" Chris asks walking over to me and I remember he told me yo ask for help.

I hold out my hand and Chris raises a eyebrow at me while smiling as he gives me my hand. He helps me stand up and use my free arm to put around Chris neck as I say "I'm ditching the crutches, let's go stand next to the bbq for the photo".

"Your wish is my command" Chris says as he helps me hop over but I notice he takes alot of my body weight which I'm greatful for since I'm tired.

I get my phone out "Mum please take a photo for me" I sayl.

"of course dear," my mum says.

Me and Chris smile away until my mum hands me back the phone. "Please help me indoors" I say.

"okay" Chris says lifting me off my feet with his one arm and I'm surpised by his strength since I'm still stood at his side.

"Mum I'm going in to rest" I say but I'm looking at Chris with amazement as I tighten my grip on his neck and arm around my body. Chris briefly looks at me and smiles.

"Don't worry I won't stop you. You weight next to nothing" Chris says

"Thanks" I say

"What's today's caption going to be?" Chris asks

"I'm not sure yet" I say as we reach the front room.

"I'm sure it will be great no matter what you say" Chris says putting me on the sofa

"Thankyou and thanks for today" I say

"You want to get breakfast with me in the morning?" Chris asks.

"I sent my bodyguard away with Emma" I say.

"I can be your bodyguard, don't forget I'm a policeman after all" Chris says.

"Okay what time?" I ask.

"I will pick you up at 8am" Chris says.

"Why do you want breakfast with me anyway?" I ask.

"Same reason is swing by the cafe after bad shifts to see your smiling face" Chris says.

"Huh?" I mutter shocked

"See you at 8am, I've got to go to work. Make sure you get a good night's sleep" Chris says

"Have a good night shift" I say and just like that Chris was gone.