The Gamma´s Equinox

Chapter Twelve: A Basket Case

Maeve

The days had gone by and I was starting to be restless. No, I was already restless before, but I felt like dying every time I took a breath of fresh air. The cold morning air that usually helped me was now burning my lungs and it felt harder and harder to be even awake. The food tasted like sand in my mouth and the smell of coffee, normally so entrancing to me, was a sad reminder of my mateless status.

The pain in my chest was only intensifying, as if someone was plugging knives into my heart repeatedly with more and more vigor every time. My body was working, but my soul was slowly dying. Nothing seemed to have sense for me any longer as the gap inside my chest was growing and the dark thoughts spread through me like a wild fire.

I wanted to hope and dream that once in the future I would find him, that we would meet again. That we could have a life together. That we could share the same love as my parents have for each other, but it was so damn hard to be positive and hopeful when I didn´t even know where he was and if he felt the same connection as I did.

Violet assured me that magicians felt the mate bond as much as werewolves did, but what if he didn´t?

The way he looked at me on the battlefield with his electric blue eyes filled with hatred and disgust towards me, so how could he love me?

Another jolt of pain went through my body and I bent forward, feeling the intense despair spreading. It came and went away in waves. It was the mate bond response of the mates not being together. The nervousness was eating me alive, the anticipation of what was coming next.

What unpleasant and unfortunate incident would happen next?

I was over the unhappy news and uncomfortably painful surprises.

I was a basket case.

I was going crazy inside and I wouldn´t be able to hold it any longer. I needed a little hope to grasp on and hold tight, while I was waiting for the locating potion, otherwise I would continue to mop around in my room and be even more depressed than I already was.

Getting up from my bed, I glanced towards the window, seeing it was still very early on and the sun barely rising, but I preferred it that way. I tried to avoid people as much as I could in fear that they would ask me what was going on with me. I wasn´t ready to answer that question.

I went on the run letting Maya take control and push faster, higher and stronger as she was howling and whimpering, missing her mate. I ran towards the beautiful meadow I knew my Alpha Sawyer loved. The grass was still green and the leaves on the trees surrounding it had already started to fall, preparing for winter to come. I laid down in the middle of the meadow and took a deep breath of fresh air filled with different senses of nature.

The moment was serene and for a minute I enjoyed the calmness and the void inside me stopped spreading, my eyes were heavy. I felt so tired and without any purpose really. My thoughts were filled with Elyes. His fire red hair and those electric blue eyes. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel the tingles everyone was talking about.

´We are going to find him, Maeve,´ Maya told me, ´Luna Violet will help us! I can feel it!´ she expressed, and I felt a little spark of hope fill my body.

I had hoped she was right. I just saw him for a second and then he was gone. We didn´t know if we would ever see him again, but I trusted my Luna Violet to find a way. She had promised me and work tirelessly on the potion and spell. We were going to use the magic of the mate bond, which is one of the strongest links ever created.

After an hour just lying there in the soft grass and wallowing in my self-pity, I finally stood up and went back to the house. My stomach was churning from not getting enough food and I strangely, I had a sweet tooth craving. I ran through the trees and forest enjoying the wind blowing my fur as I stopped on the edge of the forest, changing from my wolf form. I pulled a huge shirt on with some jean shorts and ran my fingers through my messy pale purple hair.

"Oh, here you are!" my Luna Violet exclaimed as I walked into the kitchen, "Good morning, Maeve!" she told me cheerfully.

She looked amazing and was glowing like a torch while sipping her favorite tea and eating a weird combination of peach yogurt and fried eggs. I felt hungry, but at the same time I didn´t have any appetite.

The food was just a source of energy and nutrition for me now. I hadn´t had any pleasure from eating anymore. Even my favorite coffee and cinnamon turned into something I despised. Reminding me of a person I wanted, but couldn´t have.

"Yeah, good morning, Vi." I greeted her, trying to have a happier tone of my voice, but failing quickly as I saw her frown.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me with concern in her voice.

"I am hanging there," I admitted as I went around the table and sat opposite her.

I saw her eyes shine with sympathy and care, "But I feel so restless and nervous all the damn time! I am a basket case, Violet." I whispered the last part, feeling so vulnerable and weak.

That wasn´t me and I didn´t like to feel this way. I wasn´t emotional or wimpy. I was a strong warrior and not this mess of a person.

"We will find him, Maeve. All will be well soon," she said to me with determination in her voice that made me feel a tiny bit better.

I took a huge bite of the croissant and murmured my answer to her with my mouth full. I felt the tears gathering in my eyes from all the weird and strong feelings inside me.

"I...," she started to say, but then covered her mouth with her hand before she ran to the dust bin and vomited, heaving violently.

"Bollocks!" I said before rushing to her side.

I put my hand on her shoulder as I held her hair up while she continued to vomit her insides out.

"Are you alright, Luna?" I asked her with concern in my voice, the Gamma instincts kicking immediately as I ran my hand up and down her back, smoothing her while she was coughing.

The smell of vomit filled my nostrils, but I tried to concentrate on my Luna. She sat on her knees holding the dust bin for life and vomiting again. I had a feeling there was a good reason behind it as she had already mentioned her suspicion to me.

After she was finished and it seemed like there was nothing left, I took her arm and helped her to stand up. She was very pale and I was afraid she would faint, so I sat her down on the chair, pouring a cup of tea and handing it to her. She took it with an appreciation in her eyes, taking a sip and smiling a little. The colour was slowly returning to her face as her cheeks were getting red.

"Soooo, did you confirm your suspicion?" I asked her, remembering our previous conversation.

She nodded her head, "I did," she said as a huge smile appeared on her lips.

Even though she wasn´t feeling well a minute before, now the color returned and she was glowing with that pregnancy glint. Her smoky gray eyes shone with happiness and I felt the wave of protectiveness over my Luna. She was carrying our future Alpha or Luna. They were making their presence known through their poor mother vomiting all over the place. As Gamma, I already felt incredibly responsible and protective over my Luna, but now knowing she was pregnant, I would be watching and making sure no one would harm her in any way.

"Congratulations," I told her with a small smile.

It was the first one since coming back from the coven and finding out my mate was probably dead. In a few days, I went from one heartbreak to another, but now I felt hopeful and happy that the future of my pack would be bright and secured with our future leader on the way. This pup for sure would be a very powerful hybrid. Already saving their father´s life, the pup would be powerful. I knew I would protect them with my life.

I had to admit Sawyer wasn´t losing any time with impregnating his mate, but that was expected werewolves were carnal creates with hight s*x appetite and desire to procreate and adding the strong and dominant Alpha genes into the equation equals conceiveing right away.

Job well done.

"Thank you," Violet told me, caressing her flat stomach, but soon it would be visible for everyone.

Werewolves´ pregnancies were short ones, around five months but with a mix of witch blood it could be longer. I couldn´t wait to see the outcome and I thought about the possibility of me carrying a hybrid in the future, but for that I needed to find my mate first.

"But please don´t tell anyone just yet, Maeve!" Violet said to me as her hand rested on mine, her eyes pleading.

"Of course not, Luna." I told her, squeezing her hand in assurance.

"I haven´t told Sawyer yet," she confessed, "I wanted to do so yesterday right after I came from the pack hospital, but he was on the meeting with other Alphas and then working late. I was already sleeping when he returned. I don´t even know how I fell asleep. I am so tired lately. This baby is draining all my energy," she said, but I could see the love for her pup in her eyes and hear the adoration and kindness in her voice.

Her words made me panic a little, because for the locating spell we needed the power of a witch. She must have seen my expression as she hastily said, "Don´t worry! I feel much better now after a night full of sleep. I am ready to do the locating spell. The potion is finished and waiting for the final ingredient."

"Your blood," she revealed, and I nodded my head, ready to do this.

"Okay. When are we going to do it?" I asked her, already excited, my heart filled with hope and expectation.

"I think we can do it right away," she said, standing up from the table, and I felt myself getting restless again, but this time it was the nervousness inside me, "While Sawyer and the rest are training," she added casually, and I felt bad that I wasn´t there training and being a Gamma I should be.

But now I needed to find my mate. I knew I wasn´t any help to my pack now, when the other half of my soul was ripped away from me and nowhere to be found. I needed to take care of myself if I wanted to be the high-ranked wolf I once was. If I wanted to fight and protect my pack I needed to be at my best and I simply wasn´t.

Would this locating spell work?

Was I going to finally find my mate?