These Fragmented Parts

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

 “NOT EVEN ONCE?” We paused once we reached a public park where tall trees towered but the buildings from a distance still hid behind. Various people strolled around even when it was a weekday. Children fed pigeons with bread crumbs together with their parents and roamed around with their bicycles that had tassels and bells with the shrill sound. It made me feel nostalgic of my childhood days even when I wasn’t the vigorous type of child who enjoyed her relationships with her siblings. But it’s wonderful to be worry free like those little children.

“I did fight for it, once. Just once and it didn’t end up well. My mother was crazy about making lawyers out of us, and when she learned that I decided taking a literature course, she was infuriated which then resulted to a fight. And of course I fought for it thinking that, after all it’s my freewill and it ended up with a sudden heart attack that eventually resulted to her death. Now everyone at home hates me.” I told him without holding back. It took me aback how I was like this to him. We took a seat on the bench that was facing the meadow where several families bonded with baskets and blankets, I watched them; feeling the longing creep within me. He wasn’t too close to me, but our proximity allowed me to inhale his musky perfume.

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,” I sighed. It was good that he didn’t press for further information and such.  “So that’s why you’re on your own now?”

“Yeah, they sent me out since we live under the same roof. The house was pretty spacious and they didn’t want to leave dad alone who’s suffering with depression right now,” I said, making it sound really light. That’s the only way I know to prevent myself from over spilling. Even when a month have already passed, its turbulence still feels like yesterday for me and unfortunately, not everyone I’ll meet will grant me sympathy so I just try to hold on.

“That’s really tough,”

“I couldn’t help but wonder when will I be on probation or something. But even when all the heat cools down, I wouldn’t even know what to do with my life,” I confessed. His eyes as well were locked in the meadow.

He sighed. “I guess we’re both kicked out and lost, I mean, I can live an independent life but it seemed like they barricaded me from the family itself. I hate it because my family runs the business and that’s the reason why I still kept my ties. I was aggrieved, and I just did what I think is just and now they abhor me for it and even fired me after wasting my years devoting myself to that sick company my father owns,”

“Apparently what bothers us mostly is so easy to tell in broad daylight, as if it’s some funny anecdote we read online. But when the darkness bites, all of the dreadful angles of it will show. “I said. He was looking less upbeat by now.

“What do you plan to do now?” I asked him. He looked at me momentarily before panning his gaze once again to the view in front of us. “Well, I don’t know yet, honestly.”

“What was your work before?” I inquired before. “One of the chemical engineers in my father’s company. He owns a plantation.”

“And my survival in college was merely a miracle, halfway through it I thought I’d never make it out alive despite their support in regarding with financial matters. It’s hard enough to do something you don’t know if you even like it…. Totally erased my zeal for things.”

“I see; It’s hard enough isn’t it? I just plan to survive for the mean time,” I said because it’s hard to see the point of the things indeed. “Even when it’s hard to believe that I can actually do something right now,”

“You can,” He said with a smile. “Now let’s find some job, okay?” I was quite astonished after hearing those words and even more floored when he took my forearm as we both left the park. The other side of the city was still pretty much buzzing with its natural cacophony filling the surroundings. We were walking on the sidewalk of the street where various stores lined up as I occasionally glanced if ever there’s a signage that says ‘hiring’ but unfortunately we still haven’t found anything yet and he still wasn’t giving up until we both found ourselves standing in front of an establishment that had a sign that said “Hobbit Hall” ‘Desperately hiring’ and below it, “Please inquire’

We both stood in front of the glass window of the store for a while that had classic books of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway and Edgar Allan Poe in the display with flowers and some good lighting. “So… you’re just about a kilometer away from here,”

“Yeah,”

“Would you like to go inside?” 

“Definitely,” I said as he pushed the glass door that made the bell above it, ring momentarily. Adam was quite dominant and it feels so foreign to me to be supported in a way like this. As soon as we were inside, I was quite taken aback by how well lit the place was, with the ceiling, the floor and the walls all white with its light having a warmer tone. There were chairs that had pillows on it and tables that had succulents as the center piece and on the side was a counter, with a short menu that mainly contained beverages and a glass display shelf that had pastries on it.  Adam and I were still checking the place silently with soft classical music playing on the speakers faintly.

“So this is like, a bookstore and a coffee shop fused into one?” I broke the silence but before she could answer, I heard the sound of the heels clicking onto the floor. “Oh my God, are you going to apply for the job?” A girl who was about years older than me approached us with her voice sounding like pure excitement. She had tanned skin and curly hair that was tied with a paisley handkerchief. Her eyes instinctively widened.

He cleared his throat as my heart suddenly pounded, not knowing what to say. I’m so bad at this and I’m hoping I wasn’t making impressions, yet. “Uhh, hi, so are you still up for applicants?”

“Oh yes, just right in time! you see, we’re quite desperate and yes, we still accept applicants. Hi, I’m Laura by the way,”

“Adam,” He offered his hand. “And actually it’s not for me, it’s for her.” I noticed how different he sounded when he was talking to Laura, confident and formal. It’s quite surprising how much he easily switched side. I wonder if he’s like this with his job before, or he’s just as talkative as he is with me.

“Great, great, been waiting for this,” Laura laughed. “This won’t be hiring on the spot, but I just want to give you my personal e-mail and my personal contact since the owner of this is quite negligent and forgetful…. And yes, I’m not badmouthing I’m just telling the truth… Anyway, she didn’t give me access to the store’s official e-mail and now, I don’t know if there is anyone who applied at all.” Laura was quite bubbly which eased the tension I feel on my insides. She handed me her calling card that said, Laura Whiteside with her e-mail and contact number was written below.  The edges had a floral print on it that had tropical colors.

“Thank you for this, what would be the work by the way?”

“It’s kind of hard to tell,

“But she’s safe here, right? No crimes, harassments or anything?” My heart suddenly skipped a beat Laura shook her head with his dangling earrings rattled as she did. “Of course not, there is no such things here. Just good vibrations, I assure you. You’re safe here.” She assured.

“Just so it happened that the owner is pretty unorganized, and you just need some teeny tiny flexibility and willingness to do more than just being the cashier,” She added with her voice still containing the same vigor. I looked around me and observed the place in great detail. There were shelves of books as well which ignited my fondness of books during middle school, this seems to be like a good place and I’d love to be here. It’s too good to be true, but I want to give it a try.

“I see, thank you for accommodating.” I told Laura.  “I’d wait for your e-mail; I hope you don’t change your mind.”

“Thank you so much,” I said as Adam thanked her too. She suddenly took both of my hands and shook it, “No, thank you too. This branch just recently opened and I was pretty much doing most of the work here and at last I finally have some hope,”

We left the store and I instantly felt relieved as he looked at me in anticipation of what I’d say. I smiled and I could feel how genuine it was and for once, I felt that I wasn’t faking it and I think he knew by the way his lips curved into a smile too.