These Fragmented Parts

CHAPTER THREE

“if you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.

-Nikita Gill

                “CHARLIE?” Adam broke the silence that sat between us after exchanging each other’s names. The towel was still pressed on his knuckle as it was slowly melting already, dripping on the floor creating a puddle. “I was wondering if you’d be okay if I we get some dinner at the cafe, food and drinks all on me, to return the favour; I mean you probably arrived at a very bad timing,” He said.

“Oh no, it’s okay, I’ll go, but I’m not letting you pay.” I opposed.

 “I know I lost my job, but you’re the only person who has been kind to me today so, I’m really hoping you’d allow me to.” He said as if this was some kind of negotiation.  Without too much contemplation, I said okay since I was starving, I haven’t eaten anything ever since I left the house. Apparently, the thought of being alone terrifies me at this moment; I am afraid of what I might think of or what I might feel and I am quite unsteady, I haven’t thought of a plan yet.

 We went outside and proceeded to the third floor where the café was located.  I was really expecting that the café was like, a coffeehouse and a diner all fused in one, but I figured out that this is like a bar a diner and a coffeehouse fused in one; it was odd, because it was quite spacious and even had small space for a dance floor. The entrance had this chalkboard stand sign where a quote was written in cursive that said “Next time a stranger talks to you when you’re alone, just look at them shocked and whisper, ‘you can see me?” with   ‘fortune cookies still available!”  It was written in bubbly characters. The speakers softly blasted Duran Duran’s ordinary world which created a less lonely atmosphere for the people in here; which is about six or seven in my estimation.

We stood in front of the counter where the cashier was nowhere to be found; I looked at the menu that was written on a chalkboard too, and to my surprise they sell coffee, tea, milkshakes, beer, wine and different kinds of cocktails together with meals and some snacks as well. “I really didn’t expect this to be like a diner, coffeehouse and a bar fused into one,” I said.

“It’s the brainchild of James, he hated his apartment back then with shitty cafés nearby. He thought of how amazing it would be if he fused all three into one; everyone that gets to visit here loves this place.” Adam remarked with a soft smile, before I could reply the cashier briskly walked to the counter, “Hi, Mr. Frost. Glad to see you again here, what can I get you?”

“What would you like to have?” He asked me

“Anything,”

“I’ve heard this hundred times,” He smirked, as I c****d an eyebrow, “But not from me, okay. I mean it when I say ‘anything’ I’m not very picky,” I retorted as he shrugged and just smiled in defense.  “Alright,”

“I’ll go get a seat,” I walked to the booth beside the glass window and took a seat, immediately leaning on the cold glass watching the storm takeover the town; upon my vantage, I observed the place which I think rendered this rustic theme. I made a mental list on what I should be doing but I eventually gave up, I still feel exhausted despite of the nap I had earlier.  I just looked around subtly with the emptiness still lingering within me and listened to the music playing softly on the speakers. Adam returned after a few minutes with a tray of what it seems to be shrimp tomato pasta, two glasses of cucumber juice with two pieces of fortune cookies. He gently placed it on the table. “I really hope you’re not allergic to seafood because it’s the best seller here and I love seafood,”

I smiled, “Thank you and what a great coincidence because I love seafood too, and oh, you ordered fortune cookies?”

“Why?  Do you hate them? They gave it away for free. ” He said and placed the plates the table; he quickly gave his meal a taste as if he haven’t eaten the whole day. I looked at his left knuckle that was swollen by this time.  It must really hurt but it seems as though it was just nothing to him

“No, I don’t- it’s just that, the last fortune cookie I had was so long ago, and who hates fortune cookies anyway,”  I said as I was somehow bothered if I was sharing too much- he doesn’t seem to be perturbed though.

“I thought you hate fortune cookies, I know someone whose anti- fortune cookies.”

“Anti- fortune cookies? Is that even a term?”  

“She just hates them, big time. She thinks it’s this stupid pointless thing but I love these ever since I was little, it’s like having a little surprise.” He said, “We better c***k this open later,” It was somewhat odd how I clearly remembered how his eyes looked after hitting the wall; it hid so much emptiness and emotions that words couldn’t really explain, and now after being out to face the people, it seemed as though a switch was flipped which made him look okay; at the very least.

 “Where do you work by the way?” He asked. 

“I- I don’t work yet,” I said. His question somehow made me feel uneasy for it made me think of the things I don’t know up to when I’ll run from them.

“Oh, you still study I see.”

“No, not yet… I-” I suddenly lost the mood to eat although I have no doubts why this dish is their best seller because the shrimp tastes fresh with the hint of sweetness at the first bite.  “I don’t really know how to explain,” I confessed. He was almost finished with his food, and his readiness for a conversation somehow scares me but I have to stop cowering away from strangers who know nothing about my predicament and what they will say has nothing to do with what I am going through for they certainly know less.

“There are always so many things we can’t explain to anyone, don’t you think?” He said. “I think the reason why we want to give explanations is that we care about what other people may say or the fear to be misunderstood. But we don’t owe anyone though.”

I was already piercing my bread with the fork playfully. I should stop this. “I know it, because… I’m like that too. I always feel the need to explain, in ways that can be convenient with the intensity of their beliefs or fit in their definition of what’s acceptable, ”

“I…think so too,” I tried to eat again, but my stomach just won’t accept it. I’m afraid I might have to throw it all up if I force myself to.”

“We certainly don’t know each other…” He paused and by this time, he was looking directly on my eyes as it offers me the opportunity to look at it too.

“Why don’t we try to say the things- or even just one thing that we’re dying to get off our chest without worrying about any judgment, what do you think?”

“It’s not easy,” I say in defense.

He smiled and spoke softly, “Well, if it were, then we would have the courage to speak about it. Out loud.” 

“Alright,” I sighed.  I took a short moment to think of how I could formulate a coherent sentence and I found it tedious, most importantly when my brain doesn’t feel like cooperating at all. “I don’t honestly know where to go, I’m supposed to be in my freshman year in college, but I didn’t make it to the enrolment period of any university and I don’t have a job.”

“I guess, I should start looking for one.” I said embarrassed, but there was no hint of shame evident on his face. It feels so foreign. There isn’t any, ‘You should start looking for one” or “Why don’t you make a way to live, you’re already nineteen.’  The way I said it sounded so easy but there were so many things behind it, I don’t choose to say yet.

“My dad is my boss, and he fired me and kicked me out of the house for an invalid reason.” I see, I’m not the only one who got kicked out.

“So… the job hunt starts tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet, but I have to.”  I told him, before he could even respond I saw Thomas, the maintenance guy making his way to our booth but this time he wasn’t wearing his industrial chore coat.

“Hey mate,” Thomas spoke vigorously as he leaned on the side of the booth. I low-key hoped that he wouldn’t remember me but I guess he did, his eyes widened upon the sight of me. “Oh, you’re the girl who just moved here,”

“f**k off Thomas, you creep.”  Adam elbowed him. “I was the one who accompanied her to her unit with her things, so don’t try to smudge my image here, okay.” Thomas chuckled lightly as the two of them opened some topic I just didn’t bother to listen to as it gave me the chance to finish my food without Adam’s attention all pressed on me. I really should finish this, this man just lost his job today and he still had the guts to buy me some food.

“There isn’t any live band today, but you definitely should make her try the cocktails here. Such a bomb. They even have funny names for it, like Stevie Nicks cocktail, Arizona Milf, gotta check that out.” Thomas suggested. I hope he does not seem me as someone who has some romantic business going on with Adam because that is the last thing that I do not want right now. My life is currently in the state of falling apart to begin with, and I don’t know where to start. Thomas left with a small wave, as it gave me Adam’s attention once again.

“Would you like to have some drink?” I can’t remember the last time I had a drink and what happened after it, but I said yes although I don’t have that much experience with alcohol. My mother used to take control on our drinking, allowing us to intake a decent amount of it on socialization parties and celebrations for she believed that alcohol can destroy ones brain. She showed that idea to us, for she has this strange addiction towards knowledge, being smart and being the straight A student all the time which gave me a hard time on studies due to all the pressure till I totally lost my sense of individuality.

We left the booth, and walked to the side of the counter where there are barstools and I didn’t notice this space a while ago. The sound of clinking glasses was more audible here. I expelled a deep breath, which made him look at me discreetly. “I’m not going to ask you what you want this time, because I think we should try another best seller, I guess.” He looked at the menu with his chin resting on his palm.

I looked at the menu, there were cocktail names such as Drunken Sailor, Dances with Wenches, A short trip to hell, and I think they’re funny. Thomas was indeed right. “I wonder what voodoo tastes like,” I laughed softly.

“It sounds really deadly, isn’t it?” He remarked. He then ordered something that sounded like blue lagoon and shortly after, the bartender served us a glass with a bright blue liquid in it as if it glows in the dim lighting of the café.  “I wonder if their names had to do something with the way they taste,” Adam jokingly said.

“So if you order this drink called voodoo, you’ll be able to taste darkness?” I replied anticipating his reaction. “What does darkness taste like?” A waitress wearing all white with an apron and a braided hair suddenly walked towards us with a platter of fortune cookies on her hand. “You sure you don’t want these?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, we kinda forgot about it, Anyway, thank you.” Adam smiled taking the platter from her.  “We should c***k this open,” He said as I nodded taking a fortune cookie and cracking it open.

“Mine says: I cannot help you, I am just a cookie.” He read each word softly, before he stifled a laugh. “Oh God, I am indeed helpless. What does your say?”

“Enjoy yourself while you can,” I read to him. “This is so threatening.” We both laughed and ate the cookie anyway.

“This is what I love about fortune cookies; they can be insightful sometimes, can be funny and can be pretty dumb too. But they taste pretty good, that’s what matters the most.” He said wiping the crumbs off the corner of his lips.

“I agree,” I smiled.

“Anyway, how old are you?”

 “I’m nineteen,” I said.

“Twenty-four” Just as what I guessed in my mind. “I may be older but I don’t see that much difference compared to your last stage of the teenage years and when you’re in your mid twenties. I guess, just some extension of pain,” He joked. I took a sip of my drink and holy hell; this must have punched my consciousness. I’m pretty sure this is a strong drink. Poor tolerance.

“I didn’t really enjoy my teenage years, I always feel like…I don’t have an age as if life just gives me a bunch of things to do, and I do them upon its order.” I said which made him raise both of his eyebrows.

“Sounds like me,”

“You don’t look excessively lost; I feel like you’re the humble type but know what to do in any situation at all times.” I said, laughing and he smiled upon my remark- the Colgate ones that I have been pinpointing earlier. It was nice seeing him like this, especially when I saw how sunken his eyes were with so much perplexity and hurting on it after he punched the wall. 

“So, we’re going to talk about impressions huh,”

“I think so,”

“You look strong to me but you just don’t know it. It’s like you over criticize yourself you’re forgetting to overlook your shortcomings.” My gut flipped upon the certainty of his voice although my mind refuses his statement. This is the first time after a long while that someone said something nice about me although I cannot even confirm that what he said is true.

“No, I don’t really think so. You’re wrong.” I laughed but his eyes just remained on mine. “I’m just being honest with what I see, and with your statement I think you’re right at that one. But I think I f****d up this time, I’m not sure what to do with situation right now.”

“What makes you say that?”