Chapter-11 Don't leave me
1303 Words
I look from the glass outside the ICU and wait for my mom to finish the meal. After she is done and Hiram leaves the room, I walk inside and she immediately asks the one thing I was dreading to answer,
“How bad is it, Luna?”
I avoid her gaze as I sit down, I should probably lie you know, but lying to your mother is probably the stupidest thing you could ever do, because she catches on it, especially when you are upset.
“Well, it is not as good as we expected, but certainly not that bad, we can recover from it.”
Partial lie. I don’t know if we can ever recover from it completely. There is one thing I know; nobody defeats cancer completely. It definitely comes back in one way or another. My mom is about to ask another question, when my phone rings, please don’t let it be department again, but I am surprised to see Hiram’s calling. I excuse myself from the room and pick up,
“Luna, doctor has allowed to visit your mom, I gave her some food, how much longer?”
Is he trying to fish out any information, probably to know how long the drug bust would last, maybe….maybe I should stop speculating, start smoothing our relations, because that is the only time when he will have is guard down and I will be able to get answers out of him. When I don’t speak for a minute, he says again,
“You mom wants to see you, come back soon. Hello Luna, can you hear me?”
I sigh and answer,
“Thank you for looking after my mom Hiram, I am back at the hospital, just outside mum’s room”
“Oh, he says
I hang up the phone and go inside mom’s room. She falls asleep and I just sit beside her watching her breathing in and breathing out, because I really don’t know how long she will be beside me. If she leaves me, I will be lonely, alone with no one beside me. I don’t even have very close friends.
After a while, I walk out of the room to let my mom sleep in peace, while I get coffee. There are too many things in my mind to actually sleep. I go to the coffee machine and see Hiram.
He is sitting on the chair just beside the coffee machine, dozing off lightly, his head is about to slide off the wall, to which he is leaning for support. I go stand beside him and slowly rest my hand beside his head to support him. He wakes up from my touch and sits upright.
“You are awake, I thought you slept in your mother’s room”
I look at him, I desperately want to ask, please tell me what are the bad things you are doing and why. Just somehow good don’t let my intuitions be true.
“Why are you still here, you should have gone home”
He looks at me for a second and asks,
“Why you don’t need me?”
I look at him, somehow his question hits me hard. I look at him with a look as if saying, no, why..why would I need you, but I can’t say that because deep down I know, I need him, I really need him. So, I just answer truthfully,
“I do Hiram. I really do, I can’t thank you enough for staying with my mom and taking care of her.”
He nods and turns away. I take my coffee and sit beside him. We stay silent for a while, I am casually sipping my coffee trying to find words to say, to be particular, to apologize for what I said in the kitchen.
I look at him and he keeps touching his watch, fiddling with its belt. Finally, I muster the courage to speak,
“Hiram, I would like to say sorry”
His neck turns towards me so fast that he might just have a whiplash. Is me saying sorry, or being swee…ah normal a very rare occurrence. I couldn’t help but ask,
“Why are you shocked, I can be nice and say sorry and stuff”
He shakes his head and then a little laugh escapes out of his mouth.
“Hey, it’s not funny.”
He shakes his head and hands and says,
“No, no I it’s not that. I know you can be sweet and nice and funny, you were actually all of those things when we first met, as strangers. But since the time I have started living in your house. I think maybe because I invaded your space or what, you have become more and more skeptic of me and don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being alert, we are still strangers after all, but you straight out start blaming be and making me a smuggler and what not, you really hurt me.”
I look down, hearing him say all this make me realise that I am actually wrong. He is right I should trust my instincts, but declaring someone guilty without proof is not a right thing to do.
“I am sorry, I really am. And whatever I said at the kitchen, it was not true as well, I just…I don’t know why I said it, but I didn’t mean it”
He looks at me for a second and asks,
“Then what did you actually wanted to say”
I look up at him, surprised at his bold statement. I am just about to answer it when a nurse walks up to us,
“Please don’t talk here, the patients are sleeping”. We look at her and nod as she walks away. I get up and start walking. I stop and look behind my shoulders and Hiram gets up to follow me. I enter a nurse closet and as soon as Hiram enters as well, I lock it.
It not a typical small closet but still it feels crowded with Hiram in it. The air starts to feel warm and I try to say things that I actually felt when I kissed him, but before I can say anything he says something which shatters me,
“Luna, I have decided to leave your house.”
I wanna say so many things, like please don’t leave, I need you, how will I look after my mom without you. I wanna say hah you are actually a criminal and now that I am on your trail you want to leave, not a chance. But whatever the reason, I want him to stay. He is the only person; I have in my life. But what I say is something I never wanted to say,
“So, where are you gonna stay?”
He looks at me, eyes gleaming with hurt, he probably expected me to stop him. He quickly masks his emotion and mutters,
“At the restaurant”
I nod and say, “okay”
I open the closet, and start to walk outside, he calls behind me,
“You wanted to tell me something, what was it”
I want to scream, yess, please don’t leave me, but I say,
“Yes, but it’s not necessary now”
“Why is it not necessary”, he asks back.
Because you are leaving and I want you to stay, my mind yells, but what I say next, is probably something that crushes my heart more than his,
“Because you said, what I wanted to say to you”, I turn back to face him and say,
“I wanted you out of my house Hiram, by tomorrow.”
- Writer
